Who DOESN'T have a dysfunctional family?

[Silvertip]

I can honestly state that my family is totally NOT dysfunctional.

... I have yet to meet a normal family without issues or problems...

Yes, issues and problems are quite normal for any family but we deal with them and they do not, of themselves, make the family dysfunctional. My dictionary defines dysfunctional, in the social sense, as: "deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad". By that definition no-one in my immediate family has (yet) provided the necessary ingredient to label our family dysfunctional. I did have one grandmother who lived to such a ripe old age (nearly 100) that she went senile and turned mean, and though that was a bad thing I would regard it as altogether normal under the circumstances. If one were to add in all of the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. to the definition of "family" then it would be fair to say that a couple of our family members were dysfunctional. One extended family member who had to deal with mental illness and another who was an alcoholic. But even they dealt with their dysfunction in a manner that caused no problems for society.

 

[554279]

Normal families have issues and problems. If everyone was happy all of the time then they would probably need some form of rehab or deprogramming. Just be happy you have a family and do the best you can to help them.

 

[nudeyorker]

I think that every family outside of those created in Hollywood or on Madison Avenue have issues and problems. My family was far from perfect but we loved and respected each other and at the end of the day it made it worthwhile to go home for the holidays... I miss them every day and even more this time of year.

Outside of our immediate family (Aunts, Uncles, cousins etc... )who insisted on foisting themselves and their problems on our family during the jewish holidays and Thanksgiving (Luckily Hanukkah and Christmas was only the immediate family)... but I digress we had a handful of...Alcoholics a drug addict, a pedophile, someone who bipolar (but in those days it did not have a name, we just thought she was very tightly wound) a pathological liar... I'm sure there were others that I was unaware of but some of our family was able to dress up and put on their company manners and just blended into the woodwork of the others... it's these people I don't miss...There was always so much drama whenever they were around.

 

[D_Judith K Rantz]

My extended family is definitely dysfunctional. I'm glad my immediate family is the functional "sect" haha! Oh Christmas get-togethers...they never disappoint.

 

[earllogjam]

My extended family pretends to be normal and cordial albeit strained with discomfort to keep up appearances during the holidays but reality sets in quite quickly after December 25th.

 

[Number 51]

My family was completely normal. I know this, because the marriage counselor I went to when my marriage was breaking up told me so. The counselor complimented my parents on how they had raised someone as well-adjusted as me. That's probably part of the reason my marriage broke up. My ex-wife's father abused alcohol and was (like my ex-wife) possibly bipolar, and her mother was a classic enabler. Her idea of normal family life was for her father to start drinking after dinner and eventually pick verbal fights with her or her mother, or otherwise spend the evening commenting on all of the world's problems and how they could be solved if people would listen to him (while reminding his wife to run by the liquor store for re-inforcements). My ex was confounded by my family, who always spoke calmly to each other even in the midst of disputes and who went about our business quietly. She even once exclaimed to me, "You entire family must be on tranquilizers all the time!" It must have seemed that way to her, coming from a family where disputes were settled only after long, screaming arguments. The ways in which our families interacted was the only ways that each of us knew, and it affected our relationship dynamics to the point that we simply couldn't relate to each other.

 

[Rckcanada]

Ive solved the problem, I dont celebrate christmas.

 

[earllogjam]

My family was completely normal. I know this, because the marriage counselor I went to when my marriage was breaking up told me so. The counselor complimented my parents on how they had raised someone as well-adjusted as me. That's probably part of the reason my marriage broke up. My ex-wife's father abused alcohol and was (like my ex-wife) possibly bipolar, and her mother was a classic enabler. Her idea of normal family life was for her father to start drinking after dinner and eventually pick verbal fights with her or her mother, or otherwise spend the evening commenting on all of the world's problems and how they could be solved if people would listen to him (while reminding his wife to run by the liquor store for re-inforcements). My ex was confounded by my family, who always spoke calmly to each other even in the midst of disputes and who went about our business quietly. She even once exclaimed to me, "You entire family must be on tranquilizers all the time!" It must have seemed that way to her, coming from a family where disputes were settled only after long, screaming arguments. The ways in which our families interacted was the only ways that each of us knew, and it affected our relationship dynamics to the point that we simply couldn't relate to each other.

You've never experienced living in an animated Italian household I guess. :tongue:

 

[earllogjam]

Ive solved the problem, I dont celebrate christmas.

LOL, I try to leave the country every Xmas if I have the chance.

 

[mickstl]

Did you go anywhere this year?

 

[earllogjam]

Did you go anywhere this year?

Vegas...lol.

 

[mickstl]

Awww...man... I haven't been since like '04... Really need to go back, I'm sure it's completely changed...again...

 

[753960]

so try to go back.

 

[Solvejg]

I have the most dysfunctional family out there.

My mother is currently not talking to me because i didn't get her a gift for christmas because i had gastro so bad that i was having threatened heart attacks. Apperantly i am the worst daughter out there. Mind you she didn't come over or offer any help even though i am a single parent with 2 autistic children. I lost over 15kilos in a few weeks. Now she refuses to give the kids their christmas gifts and my daughters birthday is next week so it will just be us having dinner at the pub like at my son's birthday.

 

[95racer]

Ah the holidays are upon us and with the holidays come time to be together with the family. Joy...

I have yet to meet a normal family without issues or problems...

We often have the discussion that it must in the human DNA that each family must have at least one f****d-up sibling :biggrin1:

Happy New Year!

 

[monel]

I have the most dysfunctional family out there.

My mother is currently not talking to me because i didn't get her a gift for christmas because i had gastro so bad that i was having threatened heart attacks. Apperantly i am the worst daughter out there. Mind you she didn't come over or offer any help even though i am a single parent with 2 autistic children. I lost over 15kilos in a few weeks. Now she refuses to give the kids their christmas gifts and my daughters birthday is next week so it will just be us having dinner at the pub like at my son's birthday.

If what you say is true, you really need to stay away from your mother.

 

[spoon]

I have the most dysfunctional family out there.

My mother is currently not talking to me because i didn't get her a gift for christmas because i had gastro so bad that i was having threatened heart attacks. Apperantly i am the worst daughter out there. Mind you she didn't come over or offer any help even though i am a single parent with 2 autistic children. I lost over 15kilos in a few weeks. Now she refuses to give the kids their christmas gifts and my daughters birthday is next week so it will just be us having dinner at the pub like at my son's birthday.

I'm sorry to hear about your christmas. I understand having a mother like yours, mine is also toxic. I do think you and the kids going out to dinner on your daughters birthday is just the thing to do. For your own sanity, happiness and your kids (imho) is to stay away from your mother. Your kids don't need a mother who is sick, stressed out and unable to be there for them.

 

[ColonialBoy]

My mother is currently not talking to me because i didn't get her a gift for christmas

Meh this is zero.

Mu mother has been mentally ill all her life, my sister copied her mental illness. I never could bring friends home because the house was a pigsty. My mother was taken to court over 14 dogs she had in the house, and this appeared on the front page of the local newspaper.

Animal hoarding and self neglect are a known psychiatric issue.
Taylor & Francis Online :: Animal Hoarding: Slipping Into the Darkness of Comorbid Animal and Self-Neglect - Journal of Elder Abuse & Neglect - Volume 21, Issue 4

My sister forced my mother to sleep on the floor of the kitchen for a decade, she was a psychiatric nurse at the time. At weddings and funerals my sister tells relatives I raped her and I'm a convicted sex offender (false). Mother has not had hot water in her house for a quarter of a century; the house lights stopped working so she uses bed lamps everywhere.

My sister refuses to take psychiatric medication because she 'likes the feeling of being out of control.' When my mother or sister is confronted about the whole situation they sit there smirking.

I could write 10 novels on bizarre behavior I have seen.

 

[rbkwp]

solo dysfunctional,
leave my Whanau (family in Maori) out of it hah

oops the chips a cooking / burnin



SORRY to hear of yr situation cboy, feel fr you and Mother..sort of feel my stoopid post was an intrusion now..

 

[Corius]

any normal family finds the way to deal with prioblems that arise. Moat dysfunctional families are caused by persons who will not to accommodate to the differences that arise in any family situation.

Over a long period of time, with normal persons seeking the good of the family above their owndesires, will in time , IMHO , find that other memembers of the family will also bend a bit for the good of the others.

The dysfunctional family is a "house divided dagainst itself" and this is not so where love rules. As qan old guy, I am happy to report that I keep in touch with my familyand lkook forward to the big reunions which are held every summer of presidential election years.