Why do we fall in love?
- Thread starter jeff black
- Start date
forbiddensociety
Just Browsing
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2007
- Posts
- 68
- Media
- 4
- Likes
- 0
- Points
- 151
- Location
- Rhode Island
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
invisibleman
Loved Member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2005
- Posts
- 9,794
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 702
- Points
- 303
- Location
- North Carolina
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
MaYBe We FaLL iN LoVe BeCauSe GoD HaS a SeNSe oF HuMoR. He LiKeS FoR uS To eXPeRieNCe HoW HaRD iT iS To Be LoVeD BY MaN. iT iS aN eXeRCiSe oF eMPaTHY. :smile: (THiNK aBouT iT.)
As a victim of a budding romance that seems to be dissapating already, I have thought about these things recently. I am going to suggest that love is a product of human self awareness. We are aware, of life of death and of reproduction. This awareness makes us more self absorbed than any other creature. This self absorbtion makes us emotional about ourselves. These emotions combined with hormones and loneliness cause us to go out and seek a reflection of ourselves, someone or something that represents who we are and makes us feel better and forget our problems. Then we grow attached. Facing life and old age isn't fun alone. And if it is real love you might care about that person or thing to the point that you would truly give them everything, even life if necessary.
Well, I know the one time I fell in love, it was with someone who I connected with on many levels. We had/have everything in common and no matter what happens, we always seem to end up together again.
Is it possible love is just a glue that holds us together through the good and bad times?
Is it possible love is just a glue that holds us together through the good and bad times?
Now you're mixing up 'love' and 'in love' - of course love is the 'glue' as you put it. That isn't sexual love of 'in love' though - that's the love any two people can feel for eachother through the close bond of family or frindship, shared experience or any number of connections.
When you think about the 'love' feeling that brings you back to this same person, does it feel similar to how you feel about a platonic love in your life (a relative / friend)? Or is it the sexual 'love' you go back for? Or both?
I think this is one of the questions there is just no answer to. From experience, falling in love for me has just meant that something has clicked for me with that person and that I can't be without them. What clicks is usually everything you asked in the question. I can't explain it though. It just happens.
Principessa
Expert Member
My first thought was that God has a sense of humor.
Is it some form of pheromones? Pheromones may play a part in the initial attraction. They aren't the cause of love though.
A desire to be accepted by others? No.
A need for intimacy on a physical or emotional level? Mmm, okay...yes, that may be part of it.
For the sex? You can have sex without love. Surely you know that as you have just graduated from college.
The next logical step in a relationship? Huh?
I'm sitting here trying to figure out exactly how it works. To be honest, I'm not coming up with much. I just know it happens and it can be the most incredible thing when you have it.
Any ideas?
hypolimnas
Superior Member
Well I think the scientists have sorted out why human beings fall "in love".
How particular individuals end up in that state is generally hard for them to rationalise, because there really isn't a "reason", and they are unlikely to say they love their partner because they are an animal with a particular genetic inheritance.
If it works then I'm not sure that to many reasons are needed however.
Thank god for the rest of the alphabet:
How particular individuals end up in that state is generally hard for them to rationalise, because there really isn't a "reason", and they are unlikely to say they love their partner because they are an animal with a particular genetic inheritance.
If it works then I'm not sure that to many reasons are needed however.
Thank god for the rest of the alphabet:
rob_just_rob
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2007
- Posts
- 610
- Media
- 30
- Likes
- 9,160
- Points
- 598
- Location
- Dallas (Texas, United States)
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
I think we fall in love with the person who gives us most nearly what we need, this might sound like someone who boosts your ego and sucks up to you but some people have a need to be punished, a need to be challenged or other needs that sound negative, not everyone needs things that are good for them or even realises on a conscious level what their needs are.
I don't know.
It's a complicated mix of things that all have to come together at the right time and in the right way for me to feel like the emotion is truly valid. I don't really like the whole hard-to-get thing, I like girls who I can tell are interested in me, but at the same time there is such a thing as being too interested. If you aren't very intelligent, able to speak your mind and articulate your thoughts well, and think independently and get you ideas from somewhere other than celebrities on television (and don't agree with me all the time, either)... then I probably won't respect you enough to fall in love with you. If you aren't at least somewhat physically attractive to me, then it probably won't occur to me to fall in love with you. The way the boundaries for the relationship are set up right out of the gate I think has a lot to do with it too... and this is a very fine line for me. Try to be too controlling or possessive from the get go and I'm likely to lose interest quick. On the other hand, if everything is extremely open and casual, I might like you a lot but I doubt I'll ever think of you as something more than a friend. I find that I am attracted very much to strong women... but then at the same time I think what gets under my skin and reaches into my heart the most is someone who can show me their vulnerabilities. Someone who has been damaged a bit like I have. Sometimes that makes me fall hard. Once again, at the same time, I've dated enough girl with serious emotional and psychological issues that I really don't want someone with enormous amounts of baggage. So it's another fine line for me. It might make me feel something for you... but if it's too much... it's also going to make me shy away. I suppose ideally I would like to meet someone who hasn't had a perfect life, but who has moved past whatever has scarred them, grown stronger for it, grown as a person from it, and learned something from their experience. This goes back to the freedom vs. neediness issue... I like women and people who are very independent and relatively "low maintenance"... but unless I catch you getting jealous at least once I might not take you seriously. hypocritical, I know. Similar interests aren't mandatory but they certainly help. If you can't laugh at The Princess Bride, rock out to Nine Inch Nails, get lost in one of Beethoven's symphonies or enjoy experiencing something new (in the form of travel, food, sexual position, etc)... we might be from different planets and unable to relate to each other at all. As important as sex is to me, I had a relationship with one girl that I was perhaps more in love with than any other in my life in which we almost never discussed sex at all, and I never had sex with her. So obviously the two things aren't indistinguishable for me. Then of course there are those little indefinable qualities and circumstances that conspire together to create the appropriate mood and mindset.
But anyway... I feel lonely far more often than I fall in love, so I don't think that's it at all.
It's not the sex, I already covered that.
If I'm already in a relationship and not in love, I probably am not going to get there anytime soon. For me it happens pretty early in most of the time or not at all so it's not a logical step for me.
I don't believe pheremones have anything to do with it, either. I've fallen in love online before, and my computer doesn't emit smells or chemicals.
Elmer Gantry
LPSG Legend
Certainly explains why you come across people in destructive relationships. The idea of it sounds good to them because they are getting what they want at the time.
I don't question why we fall in love.... I just avoid it at all costs. :smile: At least, I have been lately... I think I'll continue for a while.
Alright, dude... from what I gather, you really don't know why you fall in love, just things that trigger "love" for you, (looks, emotional status, etc)
Ladies and Gents, I am beginning to think that there is no answer and that love is just a random occurance that one has depending on their own personal feelings towards a member of the human population. Love grows, fluxuates, and can disappear, and can occur for many many reasons.
Am I close?:biggrin1:
Have you ever heard two identical reasons as to why people fall in love?
One of my favourite quotes from Jung:
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed".
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/27108.html
Similar threads
