Would you cheat?

[BBB2.5]

Originally posted by SurferGirlCA@Aug 24 2005, 03:19 AM
Of course you could always try something radical like telling him you love him but miss the physical contact and intimacy with him. You said he knows you like being touched, so maybe you should find out more about what his concerns are or why your sex life seems to have cooled off. Also, I know some people said you should discard your toys but I wonder if maybe you've thought about letting him use a toy on you. That's something you both might find pleasurable and it might let him feel like he has a greater part in pleasuring you. I dunno, as with so many things involving human relationships, we spend a lot of time trying to mindread when communication would help resolve things... at least in terms of sharing concerns and desires. Good luck!

[post=337585]Quoted post[/post]​

I hear what you are saying....and Yes you are very correct. I do want everythnig you mentioned. We have talked about it many times, but not lately. I just hate having to ask all the time. It would be nice if he did it without me asking, know what I mean? I like to be made special too... :happy:

 

[dolf250]

I am probably like your boyfriend in a lot of ways. I am not opposed to touching and “cuddling”, but I am quite often uncomfortable, even in a longer term relationship. I would try to every now and then, but it was always more of an obligation than anything else. Something like when you know you need to apologize. It’s not really what you want to do, but what you feel obligated to do. One girl I knew figured this out about me. I apparently pulled back even when she would try to just give me a hug. Anyhow, at first she would just sit beside me and lean over a little. Not “cuddle” but just contact. To make a ling story short eventually I was very comfortable with it and would sit beside her and put my arm around her- not because I felt obligated, but rather because it felt natural. I do not really know enough about your partner to know for sure- but I suspect that he has had these issues in most/all of his past relationships. I don’t know if anything above is helpful or applicable- but I hope you can find something useful.

 

[BBB2.5]

Originally posted by dolf250@Aug 24 2005, 06:53 AM
I am probably like your boyfriend in a lot of ways. I am not opposed to touching and “cuddling”, but I am quite often uncomfortable, even in a longer term relationship. I would try to every now and then, but it was always more of an obligation than anything else. Something like when you know you need to apologize. It’s not really what you want to do, but what you feel obligated to do. One girl I knew figured this out about me. I apparently pulled back even when she would try to just give me a hug. Anyhow, at first she would just sit beside me and lean over a little. Not “cuddle” but just contact. To make a ling story short eventually I was very comfortable with it and would sit beside her and put my arm around her- not because I felt obligated, but rather because it felt natural. I do not really know enough about your partner to know for sure- but I suspect that he has had these issues in most/all of his past relationships. I don’t know if anything above is helpful or applicable- but I hope you can find something useful.

[post=337602]Quoted post[/post]​

Thank You ...I do believe you may be correct. I just wish there was something I could to make him feel more comfortable with us ...know what I mean? I believe that some of his lack of physical touch stems from his childhood.
Let me ask you this ...did you enjoy cuddling before you went to sleep? He likes to do this everynight. Then during the night he will hold me in his arms from time to time, but I'm sure he isn't aware of this, or maybe he is. It's all just so mind confusing to me.
Anyhow ...thanks

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

"Cheating" is a concept I'm not sure I understand. I never considered fulfilling a fantasy -- with a toy or another person -- "cheating".

You obviously love each other and keep the lines of communication open -- these are the most important things in your relationship. Throwing away your toys and denying yourself their pleasure is not going to make you love him more, build his self-esteem or make him want more sex with you. If he has a problem with your toys, or your desire for a big live throbbing cock up your butt, he needs to address that flat-out. You are going to have fantasies and deserve them.

 

[jonb]

Yeah, I have to agree with SurferGirl. Sex is all about communication.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Originally posted by jonb@Aug 24 2005, 02:34 PM
Yeah, I have to agree with SurferGirl. Sex is all about communication.

[post=337694]Quoted post[/post]​

Hmmm, how about GREAT sex is all about communication, jonb? Both verbal and non-verbal. als:

 

[BBB2.5]

Originally posted by SurferGirlCA+Aug 25 2005, 05:22 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(SurferGirlCA &#064; Aug 25 2005, 05:22 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-jonb@Aug 24 2005, 02:34 PM
Yeah, I have to agree with SurferGirl. Sex is all about communication.

[post=337694]Quoted post[/post]​

Hmmm, how about GREAT sex is all about communication, jonb? Both verbal and non-verbal. als:

[post=337821]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

Don&#39;t get me wrong ...when we do have sex it is great. It&#39;s just dose not occure that often.
yes, we do talk all the time....I tell him what I need and what would like to get from him, and he does listen, but it just does not go on for a long time. It&#39;s like I have to keep telling him. It does get bothersome, and I sometimes just would rather not have to repeat myself.

I did ask him for a 3 way this weekend.... :wow:

 

[DC_DEEP]

Originally posted by BBB2.5+Aug 25 2005, 07:11 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(BBB2.5 &#064; Aug 25 2005, 07:11 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'>

Originally posted by SurferGirlCA@Aug 25 2005, 05:22 AM
<!--QuoteBegin-jonb

@Aug 24 2005, 02:34 PM

[post=337694]Quoted post[/post]​

[post=337821]Quoted post[/post]​

I did ask him for a 3 way this weekend.... :wow:

[post=337826]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]
Just remember that in those types of situations, nothing should feel forced or awkward. Hopefully, if you do find a third, he can provide each of you with something satisfying. And communication is of the utmost importance; well, that and safe practices.

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by SurferGirlCA@Aug 25 2005, 01:22 AM
Hmmm, how about GREAT sex is all about communication, jonb? Both verbal and non-verbal. als:

[post=337821]Quoted post[/post]​

Well, true. If a couple&#39;s never on the same page, or too modest to discuss these things, sex will be lousy. And this brings up another issue; degrees of passion. The simplest way is for the more passionate partner to masturbate more. Plenty of erotic media out there to fantasize over.

 

[BBB2.5]

Well ...he did agree....however it will not be with another man. Which is fine with me. Looks like it will be me, him and my favorite guy in the nightstand..Bam &#33;&#33;&#33;
At least he going to give me something that I like. We have never played with him together. At this point in the relationship, I will be very happy with the outcome here. I do not wish to bring in another man into our bed. I have seen to many friends break apart doing that. My fantasy to have a man with a large dick will always be just that ....a dream in my head.

I want to thank everyone for all of the advise that you have given to me. I thought about it and our relationship mean more to me then
cheating or even bringing in a third man.
He is my rock, and I love him.
:hi:

 

[jonb]

Good move. it&#39;s okay to have a fantasy life, but turning some fantasies into reality will hurt people around you.