Yes. Marry in haste, regret at leisure::smile:
http://www.lpsg.org/156642-when-shotgun-weddings-go-wrong.html
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yes. Marry in haste, regret at leisure::smile:
http://www.lpsg.org/156642-when-shotgun-weddings-go-wrong.html
Incocknito
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Phil Ayesho
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Here is the best advice you will ever get.
Children are not innocent... they are evolutionarily optimized manipulation machines whose sole intent is to try and figure out how to manipulate the world around them to get what they want. And they have NO moral compunction against using any means that will work.
In trying to figure out how to manipulate their world, they will come up with various strategies and try them out.
The Only power you have, as a parent, is that for the first 10 or 12 years of their lives, you get to choose which of those strategies they come up with are going to work.
You have to allow them to come up with SOME strategy that works... that is important...
But every strategy that involves behavior you don't like, you will have to figure out a means of creatively frustrating to ensure that strategy is ineffective.
THis means you have to pay close attention to them to figure out what they are after... a tantrum, for example, might not be about the toy they say they want, but might simply be about being the center of attention or wanting to control YOU.
You have to figure out what they are trying to effect, and deny them that.
Don't be overly influenced by crying... its JUST another strategy.
Foe example- as toddlers, there will be times when you need to drive a long distance... and they will fuss and cry cause they don't like being strapped into their car seat...
Do not stop the car, do not so much as turn your head to address their crying... but allow them to caterwaul their fool heads off...
They will do this for 6 hours of an 8 hour drive...
But I promise you... if you can be resolute and let them scream without giving them so much as a sympathetic look... that will be the LAST TIME they EVER make a fuss in a car seat...
Once they realize that crying will not have the slightest effect on being strapped in a car seat, they will give up that strategy and from then on, they will just fall asleep when you put them in their car seats...
THis worked so well that, later on, when they were fussy, colicky, and hard to get to sleep, we could just take them for a quick spin around the block in the car and they would be out like a light.
Also... never lie to them, never avoid a direct question, and, most importantly, realize that what you do matters far more than what you say.
You can not explain to your child how to be a better person...
You have to BE the kind of person you want your child to grow into.
Stephenmass
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I'll keep mine short. Simply be the best you are capable of being. I am sure you already have that planned anyway. Be prepared for a few bumps and bruises along the way, but usually it works out fine in the end.
It's a natural thing man, don't worry or stress too much over it.
I remember before I had my child, I was the type of person that didn't even want to hold a newborn because of the fear that i might drop them or hurt them or whatever. i remember the first time i saw my child and they handed her over to me, i was a dad instantly. It's only natural.
My first rule with all of this is ---- PATIENCE. If you don't have it, aquire it, you're going ot need a lot of it when dealing with the newborn, with you wife, with the financial strain and all the little worries that life will throw your way. Patience is the key. Understanding is the second thing.
Also, remember to enjoy it. Being a parent has been the most rewarding experience of my life, I couldn't be happier.
I remember before I had my child, I was the type of person that didn't even want to hold a newborn because of the fear that i might drop them or hurt them or whatever. i remember the first time i saw my child and they handed her over to me, i was a dad instantly. It's only natural.
My first rule with all of this is ---- PATIENCE. If you don't have it, aquire it, you're going ot need a lot of it when dealing with the newborn, with you wife, with the financial strain and all the little worries that life will throw your way. Patience is the key. Understanding is the second thing.
Also, remember to enjoy it. Being a parent has been the most rewarding experience of my life, I couldn't be happier.
B_KOKOBWARE
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D_Gregg_Ghorian
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Youse guys got it all wrong...
Try to be a better man than your dad.
Exactly! I've never been a dad but I've been a mom for over 20 years. Your sex life is far from over, trust me! Sure, there's going to be a down time, but I know it wasn't long after Pris was born that I was ready to get back in the saddle, pardon the analogy.
The main thing is to love the baby with everything you have. It is so different from loving your girlfriend/wife. This is another level.
If you've lead a good life up to now the baby will sleep all night. Mine did, and I don't really know who to thank! LOL!
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hahaha... that's encouraging...
the only thing I have to say is that your financial stability is also over...
I think that's more important... knowing your career is in the right place & you are also in the right position in life...
good luck... hope everything works out...
Congratulations! You're about to begin the greatest part of your life! I was convinced that I hated kids and was way too selfish to ever be a parent...but everything changed when my little girl arrived! I love being a father, and I can't imagine what life would be like without my daughter.
Some helpful info:
1) Watch the nurse/doctor whenever they change your baby's diaper...that's how I learned how. Don't be one of those pussies that gags when they see or smell their babies poop...be thankful that your child's body is functioning properly and take pride in the fact that you're caring for his/her needs. You are going to spend the next few years getting pee'd, pooped, drooled, and thrown-up on...embrace it!
2) Subscribe to a couple of parenting magazines; preferably those that have sections devoted to different ages. I.E. 0-3 months, 3-6 months, etc.. And READ as much as you can. You don't have to take everything as gospel, but you should educate yourself. We had the "What To Expect When You're Expecting" books, and eventually referred to it as the "Panic Book." It has good info...but it's easy to get paranoid, so you also need to learn to relax.
3)Take a parenting/childbirth class with your s/o. Her obgyn should have info on that. TAKE IT!!! It's very valuable.
4)Braxton-Hicks! Learn the symptoms REALLY well (and get yourself a stopwatch). If you can diagnose Braxton-Hicks you may save yourself a few panicked rides to the hospital.
5) Talk and talk and talk with your s/o. Talk about your disciplinary beliefs...talk about relationship beliefs...talk about honesty...talk about nutrition...talk about how you plan on setting up house rules...talk about how you two will work as a team in parenting, and not against each other...etc.
Good luck...you'll be great! The fact that you're already looking for advice is more than a lot of fathers do!
Some helpful info:
1) Watch the nurse/doctor whenever they change your baby's diaper...that's how I learned how. Don't be one of those pussies that gags when they see or smell their babies poop...be thankful that your child's body is functioning properly and take pride in the fact that you're caring for his/her needs. You are going to spend the next few years getting pee'd, pooped, drooled, and thrown-up on...embrace it!
2) Subscribe to a couple of parenting magazines; preferably those that have sections devoted to different ages. I.E. 0-3 months, 3-6 months, etc.. And READ as much as you can. You don't have to take everything as gospel, but you should educate yourself. We had the "What To Expect When You're Expecting" books, and eventually referred to it as the "Panic Book." It has good info...but it's easy to get paranoid, so you also need to learn to relax.
3)Take a parenting/childbirth class with your s/o. Her obgyn should have info on that. TAKE IT!!! It's very valuable.
4)Braxton-Hicks! Learn the symptoms REALLY well (and get yourself a stopwatch). If you can diagnose Braxton-Hicks you may save yourself a few panicked rides to the hospital.
5) Talk and talk and talk with your s/o. Talk about your disciplinary beliefs...talk about relationship beliefs...talk about honesty...talk about nutrition...talk about how you plan on setting up house rules...talk about how you two will work as a team in parenting, and not against each other...etc.
Good luck...you'll be great! The fact that you're already looking for advice is more than a lot of fathers do!
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Congratulations large7one!
The Daily Mash - NEW FATHERS RELUCTANT TO SPEND TIME WITH CONSTANTLY SCREECHING BAG OF SHIT
Sounds like you're one of these guys :
The Daily Mash - NEW FATHERS RELUCTANT TO SPEND TIME WITH CONSTANTLY SCREECHING BAG OF SHIT
helgaleena
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I am so glad you shared this with us. It lets us relive some of the greatest and deepest joys and stresses in human existence. It's totally natural to be worried and a good sign that your heart is in the right place.
Instincts will kick in that change you down to your roots and teach you a whole new kind of love.
Do not be afraid to keep making love during pregnancy because it is actually good for her until the baby begins to lower its head into the birth position. My marriage suffered from my husband's refusal to do this out of superstition. Not the ninth month though, lol. Keep your lady's comfort in mind.
Fatherhood is like nothing else. You will learn a tremendous amount about being a human being.
Instincts will kick in that change you down to your roots and teach you a whole new kind of love.
Do not be afraid to keep making love during pregnancy because it is actually good for her until the baby begins to lower its head into the birth position. My marriage suffered from my husband's refusal to do this out of superstition. Not the ninth month though, lol. Keep your lady's comfort in mind.
Fatherhood is like nothing else. You will learn a tremendous amount about being a human being.
Congratulations :smile:
And I hope your fatherhood experience turns out to be happy and full of good times :biggrin1:
And I hope your fatherhood experience turns out to be happy and full of good times :biggrin1:
I am going to repeat patience from an earlier post. Up to this point in life, you have probably focused mostly on yourself. That time is over when the baby arrives. You must then must focus on the child and your spouse. That may mean going without sleep for a couple of months but you will get through it. It is the next step in your life and the path to being a more mature person. Take the commitment serious and you will pass the test gaining an incredible reward. Give up because of selfishness and it affects all involved for the rest of their lives.
Never punish a kid less than 20 months, they don't understand and it is only a sign of your anger. Lovingly and firmly correct them early and you will win their respect. They will listen the next time you talk.
Never punish a kid less than 20 months, they don't understand and it is only a sign of your anger. Lovingly and firmly correct them early and you will win their respect. They will listen the next time you talk.
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