You want him but you can't have him.

[fullspeedo11]

Hey bi guys, we've all been in this situation at least once I am sure. I work with a guy who ticks all the boxes for me. Slim, blonde, good looking, great personality and we get along well.... but he's straight as an arrow and wouldn't consider sex with another man. He's told me so. But every time he bends over I stare, or when he sits down and his tight jeans make that nice rounded bulge I sneak a peek. And if fate hasn't teased me enough already, I see him naked in the showers at the pool.
Anyone else experience a (sexual stalemate ) like this?

 

[933295]

I just noticed this thread. I think it's a great question you ask. I also think that it's pretty normal for most bi guys. Many times we don't give off an "available" vibe so other guys don't know we may be interested. Also it's difficult to talk to any person, woman or man, about our personal sexual interests and needs unless we're close to them. So it's just my observation, but I think it takes a little time for two guys to learn to have some amount of trust with one another. Then there's another issue too. After you have sex with some guy, the relationship with him changes and either you or he may feel uncomfortable. You can cross that bridge when you come to it.

 

[550987]

Yes, I totally have someone like that and the shitty part is he's let me blow him before while we were drunk (not blackout). We've talked about it and he said it was the best head he's ever gotten, BUT he still claims he's straight and now he's dating someone, which isn't fair because sometimes we'll play around and he'll hint at if I were to just start aucking his cock, he wouldn't stop me

 

[halcyondays]

Sometimes the timing just sucks.

 

[bigcalijock]

I have the same situation at work! Major crush on this hot straight guy but he is married. He comes in and talks to me a lot and even lift up his shirt and shows off his underwear. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or not. He has said he is sick of his wife but not sure how to show him I'm interested. Ugh!

 

[977581]

It's worse when in the gym I speak with the hot PT about the hot girl we see and in the meantime I find difficult take away my eyes from his powerful biceps or pecs... if it's also using a shirt a size too small...

 

[Hoss]

Hey bi guys, we've all been in this situation at least once I am sure. I work with a guy who ticks all the boxes for me. Slim, blonde, good looking, great personality and we get along well.... but he's straight as an arrow and wouldn't consider sex with another man. He's told me so. But every time he bends over I stare, or when he sits down and his tight jeans make that nice rounded bulge I sneak a peek. And if fate hasn't teased me enough already, I see him naked in the showers at the pool.
Anyone else experience a (sexual stalemate ) like this?

well if he's straight then he's straight and there's not a thing you can do about that.

Of course even if he were bisexual he might not be interested in you sexually. This is fairly common to most people, regardless of gender or sexual preference. I just try to suck it up and move on.

 

[hvdude]

HELLO! This is happening at work. Sexual Harassment is a big issue still and you could end up in hot water. Just remember the expression, "Everyone wants the house that's sold".

 

[933295]

I have the same situation at work! Major crush on this hot straight guy but he is married. He comes in and talks to me a lot and even lift up his shirt and shows off his underwear. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or not. He has said he is sick of his wife but not sure how to show him I'm interested. Ugh!

I've noticed this too. For some reason guys, straight or whatever, tend to trust me almost immediately. I'm not sure why, and then they start the whole unconscious seduction thing. Anyway I DO think it's unconscious. It may be just a certain comfort level. I've also noticed that guys from certain Latin (Hispanic) cultures pull up their tee-shirts and absent-mindedly play with their stomachs.

 

[StillSmall]

The bi guy into a straight guy is one flavor of '"wanting most what we can't have," or as @hvdude said, "everyone wants the house that's sold."

Some people call it the Universal Frustration (although in he original version, bi folks are left out):

Gay men want straight men;
Straight men want lesbians;
Lesbians want straight women;
Straight women want gay men.​

Finally we invented bisexuals so that everyone could be happy.

 

[alxthaboy]

It has happened to many in many occasions!

 

[chicocklarge]

I have the same situation at work! Major crush on this hot straight guy but he is married. He comes in and talks to me a lot and even lift up his shirt and shows off his underwear. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or not. He has said he is sick of his wife but not sure how to show him I'm interested. Ugh!

Does he know you are bisexual?

 

[chicocklarge]

I've noticed this too. For some reason guys, straight or whatever, tend to trust me almost immediately. I'm not sure why, and then they start the whole unconscious seduction thing. Anyway I DO think it's unconscious. It may be just a certain comfort level. I've also noticed that guys from certain Latin (Hispanic) cultures pull up their tee-shirts and absent-mindedly play with their stomachs.

Is this in an office working environment or at a service industry job? I can't imagine guys pulling up their shirts and showing underwear in an office.

 

[bigcalijock]

Does he know you are bisexual?

No. I'm very discreet.

 

[933295]

Is this in an office working environment or at a service industry job? I can't imagine guys pulling up their shirts and showing underwear in an office.

Nope! . It's on home or commercial building sites. Quite a few hispanics work in the building trades and I've hired them to do remodels. It doesn't bother me or confuse me. It's something I've noticed. I think it would be pretty humorous to see guys who do office work absent-mindedly rubbing their stomachs on a break.

 

[Standard Deviant]

I tortured myself with two male friends who were clearly into teasing the shit out of me because they were egotists who thrived on the attention. One even said he was bi when I first knew him, but I think it was more out of wanting to be friends and not realizing it would be near impossible for him to follow through on it than out of any kind of malicious teasing. He ended up living with us for four months, which was sheer torture for me, but kind of an interesting test and I used it to achieve all kinds of spiritual and psychic states of awareness that would not have been possible to experience any other way. The second friend was less actively inviting it but eventually gave me one of the nicest kisses I ever received. In both cases, I was just as guilty of them of being a chicken about doing anything with them. My own lifetime of homophobia preceding the years when I finally accessed that part of my mind and self that could and wanted to experience sexual and sometimes romantic contact with a male were still strongly at play, and part of what made it way more exciting than if I had just pushed things. Part of it was we were all very attractive and wanted the other guy to be the more "needful" one. I talked it out with both of them a number of times, felt like it was more love than desire for sex in these cases, but wished it could be acted on or expressed sexually, erotically. I couldn't go through with it even when the first one came in naked one night ready to give it a try, because it was too obvious to me he just couldn't get into enjoying it enough, would have felt like I was using him too much and that was not what I wanted with him. I had heard from a woman we knew that the second one, truly a pretty boy, was well hung, but years later heard from a gay friend who used to see this guy in the shower at the gym that he had a shriveled up tiny penis, and I suspect that may have been why he was afraid to try anything with me--knowing as he did that I was into big dicks. Fascinating experiences despite never giving in and having sex. But I had to end both friendships totally to regain and retain my sanity! If you ever go down this path, be ready to end it at some point, and you may have to be rather rude if the object of your attention is into being flattered by it. I actually sent a registered letter to the second one saying not to call or come over anymore, because he was driving me nuts with his obvious enjoyment of the lop-sided relationship.

 

[Standard Deviant]

well if he's straight then he's straight and there's not a thing you can do about that. Of course even if he were bisexual he might not be interested in you sexually. This is fairly common to most people, regardless of gender or sexual preference. I just try to suck it up and move on.

When I was young I was a sexual radical, convinced as Freud said that "To begin with, we are all bisexual." That there is really no such thing as "straight" or "gay," that these extremes are fictions created by modernism. The danger of this is that what then happened to me was when I encountered the two "straight" males I described in my last post here, above, it led me to feel like I must be repulsive, ugly, unattractive... which led to fulfilling that self-image to some extent, losing an incredibly healthy athletic body as I chucked it somewhat for the immediate gratification of overeating when I couldn't fulfill my oral desires in the way I really wanted to, and in response to these two who were basically using me to prop up their egos, getting off on my being physically attracted to them but purely with zero contact or reciprocation. So watch out for this if you are bi and know it and tend to be drawn to "straight" males whose body language and other cues belie their official status as "hetero." Some, a few, may be open to giving it a try and may, like me, find it opens up a whole new world. But others are stuck and will just be tormenting you, and it may not be worth the costs.

OTH, there is that early "Star Trek" episode where my avatar's character says that "You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

 

[goodtoyou]

My story is slightly different in two ways, first I probably could have had him, and second I was the straight guy.

So go back about 10 years, a guy I was really good friends with at Uni came out a year after we left, which wasn't a problem with any of us, we always just thought he was sexually immature, but turns out he was sexually experienced...but with the same sex! So about 6 months after that, he was having a party, and had invited a friend of his over, who was just a friend but was gay, new to the city and didn't know many people.

So as people were coming in, some I knew some I didn't, I see this guy talking to talking to a couple I knew, and he was gorgeous! Totally straight looking (no offence meant), totally cool, and the most beautiful eyes. So up until this point in my life, I was 100% straight, and up until this point I'd never believed in love at first sight! Ok, I obviously wasn't 100% straight, but the there had never ever been any attraction whatsoever towards another man.

After a while I went over and introduced myself, and we got chatting, we had similar sense of humor, similar banter, and got on well. He was a really nice guy, totally straight acting, but with a bit of flirting mixed in too. Lets just say the initial attraction grew rapidly. The only problem, did I forget to mention I was at the party with my Girlfriend? I could be wrong, but I think she had a weird idea what was going on, she eventually came over, and then never left my side. In actual fact, over the months where we all became friends, I think she was attracted to him too!

So this guy integrated himself well into our group of friends, a mixture of men and women, singles and couples, he became just another one of us, who was always there on nights out or nights in! But as he became more of the group, we got closer. We would flirt, and I mean obscenely flirt with each other, in front of everyone to the point that nobody knew when we were going to stop. In actual fact, it got so bad we actually kissed at one point in front of everyone, just to take the flirtation to another level.

I could tell you a hundred things like that that we did. But there was one tell tale thing he did that always made me think it was more than just fun. Whenever we were alone together, the flirting stopped, he was serious, tactile, but not cocky with it. He was an odd sort of a gay guy (again no offence) he was attracted to guys, but not sexually, he never wanted to fuck or be fucked. But unknown to him, that would have been just fine by me, because at that point I had no interest in sex with a man either. And now, years later, having been married for some time, sex isn't even something that happens much anymore, haha!

But because it was my first attraction to a guy, and because he was within our group, nothing happened. I was in a long term relationship, and wouldn't have known where to start with a guy, but the sexual chemistry combined with the physical and mental attraction made me fall in love with him. I haven't seen him for about 5 years now, but to this day, I still fantasis about him, think about him and even dream about him. I am friends with him on Facebook, he's moved away, got a boyfriend, living with him and seems quite happy. But to be honest it kills me every time he posts a picture, as my heart jumps

If I knew him now, there is not any doubt in my mind, I would have the courage to go further with him, even though I am married, I am a lot more mature in the idea of being with a man. To me he'll always be the one that got away.

 

[elixer26]

I had a straight buddy who I was attracted to physically and overall, he just my type. He knew I was not straight but it didn't bother him. Sometimes I felt that he was flirting but I ignored it. I didn't want to end up like some of the posters above. He would look at me sometimes in ways that I felt was admiring and attraction towards me. I would blush and wonder why this straight guy with a GF seems to be curious or curious about me. However nothing ever really happened because I respected the friendship. I saw him as a good friend. I didn't want to just get in his pants. I would rather let him decide that.

 

[fullspeedo11]

I had a straight buddy who I was attracted to physically and overall, he just my type. He knew I was not straight but it didn't bother him. Sometimes I felt that he was flirting but I ignored it. I didn't want to end up like some of the posters above. He would look at me sometimes in ways that I felt was admiring and attraction towards me. I would blush and wonder why this straight guy with a GF seems to be curious or curious about me. However nothing ever really happened because I respected the friendship. I saw him as a good friend. I didn't want to just get in his pants. I would rather let him decide that.

Yah elixer26 that's just the kind of scenario I'm talking about. Str8 dude, a friend and just my type but alas; no vibe going back and forth really between the two of you that will lead to something. In the end I'm glad I didn't push it because it would have ruined our friendship. I'm past it now and we're still friends but it was difficult because he was on my swim team and I'd see the guy nude almost every fucking day! Drove me crazy!