Married for a long time and this is my bit of advise.
I love having sex every chance I can. First off set an expectation, perhaps an alluring text, an unexpected flower arrangement where her girlfriends/co-workers might see or a personal note left for her to find. If your lover is feeling chased, you will be a happy man.
My wife likes me to be vigorous, as you state "Fucked hard" and I, like her enjoy that very much (And necessary by the way, be a man.). But that is kind of the end game. Start gentle and take some time. Pay attention to her pleasure points. Touch her neck her lips, soft kissing is important, or even gently biting a lip or nipple. A lick behind the ear as you whisper an appropriate complement (You smell wonderful for example.) If she moans or squirms with what you are doing, go with it. Don't just charge in like a horny rabbit.
Do not ignore the clitoris an the other tasty parts. You do not need to spend a lot of time on caressing it or even giving oral you don't need to spend all day down there. Although, in my situation I enjoy making her cum once at this point, I like the feel of her thighs spamming and personal enjoy the taste of a woman's organism. Don't ignore the other parts, caress her legs, kiss her calf's and tell her how beautiful you find her. Do not be insulting unless she likes that. Not to be boorish; but, I am thicker than a toilet paper roll and about 7 some odd inches, so for a best result, start slow if you are the same. If you followed the above your lover should be wet; but, you do not want to hurt her. let her call the shots here. Slow initial smooth stroked deeper each time. Once she has significant lubrication you can go to town. An then and only then go with vigor! Change positions but in my experience a woman like missionary and behind. On top is nice for you; but, not so much for her.
As far as finishing, it is a give and take in my opinion. My wife likes it when I cum in her, other times she likes it when I cum on her. Finishing in the mouth or face, is simply a gift for me; but, sometimes she likes it when I finish in her mouth.