Foremost in the world of BDSM we find a method of significant male humiliation called ruined orgasm. Yet is there such a thing, and if so, why does it work?
I want to take a closer look here, because we have to consider different aspects that come with this term:
As for 1: Yes, ruined orgasm is an established catchphrase which is generally deciphered as the denying of a man’s satisfactory climactic experience by a partner. That could be described as ruining a climax, or rather frustrating it. The practice may originate from a master/mistress-slave constellation where the slave is totally at the hands (and will) of his master/mistress. It can be seen as an escalation of other practices, such as cum-denial and forced ejaculation. Since two kinds of climaxes are in the game I would rather speak of frustrated climaxing, but – again – the term is established and commonly understood.
As for 2: Both climaxes work differently, but there is a common way to make them happen: you need constant sensory input to trigger a climax, no matter if ejaculation or orgasm. And since both reactions are most often intertwined it may not matter much which of them is pending, once you are under control of a partner. Now, when you sense that you are ever so close to the threshold, or your point-of-no-return is reached and maybe just passed, and you are left alone in that instant, possibly strapped down, then you experience your sexual climax is ruined right there. After all, frustrating a climax is as much a physical issue as it is a mental one.
Ejaculating: Ejaculation is a reflex which runs its program once triggered. The reflex can’t be interrupted, it can’t be ruined per se. However, ejaculating bears different levels of intensity (= felt qualities). Roughly speaking it means that ejaculating turns out to be more intense when the stimulus (of triggering it) is supplied while this climax is happenening, rather than when the stimulus is denied. The receiver, after a long(er) period of sexual arousal, does expect to be relieved from his sexual tension by a strong physical stimulus throughout his climax as the urgent physical need to ejaculate (empty his cum-producing glands) dominates his urge to find relief.
When the receiver passes PONR, his reflex certainly does take place, his respective muscles do spasm in a pulsing manner, and yet he will feel very much deprived of the intensity he is generally used to. Ejaculating runs flat and may feel dull as if something significant is missing, the climactic sensation feels forestalled, incomplete and unsatisfying.
In a dom/sub situation an attempt of ruining ejaculating, or rather experiencing it as such, is more related to the attitude and experience of the (helpless) sub than to the biological process (i.e. reflex).
Orgasm: With orgasm it is a different story. Orgasm is a more complex process than ejaculation. When you mess with that, you mess with the whole man! Whereas ejaculation is a local phenomenon (centered in your pelvis region), the orgasmic reaction, being a powerful reflex as well, integrates the whole body. Orgasm, in short, is a discharge of energy (i.e. arousal and excitement having encompassed your being), letting you lose conscious control over your body for a brief moment.
Other than your ejaculation, which you can manipulate and observe and savor like from a distance, keeping calm over all (which in fact is the beauty of it), your body literally moves you at the moment of orgasmic release. This goes along with secundary physiological changes in your body that may rather be falling short before and while solely ejaculating. Here are the most obvious ones:
As for 3: There is a huge difference on whether you perform such practice by yourself or if it is performed on you by a partner. And this is bound to the psychological circumstances that come with the different settings.
Solo-sex: there may be only one reason to “frustrate” your ejaculating, and that is doing it in favor of becoming multi-climactic. In such a case you would not even call it “ruining your ejaculation”. It may look the same, but it serves an entirely different purpose and it is experienced very differently as well. – So much for the psychology in the game. – This dulling of your ejaculatory reflex will be most likely part of a routine that also incorporates long stretches of avoiding PONR, which, in other words, is plain edging!
When you manage to avoid PONR but trigger emission (the free flow of milk) it is very rewarding, because you harvest cum (with the associated sensations of expelling fluid from your glands) without loosing your hornyness. When you trigger your reflex and let it run without further stimulating yourself, you may be at the doorstep of becoming multi-climactic! This technique is the gateway for stimulating yourself into a follow-up ejaculating right away, because neither your sexual energy nor your semen had been spent with the ruined first ejaculation. This is rather great than being frustrating! As a matter of fact this is the trick (method) of spilling semen several times within one session. Watch this example:
![B frustrated 1st.gif]( "B frustrated 1st.gif")
This was the first, "frustrated" ejaculating...
![B frustrated 2nd.gif]( "B frustrated 2nd.gif")
...this was the second ejaculating, immediately triggered after the 1st!
Now, ruining orgasm is something no man would pursue to practice for the described reason. It may not even work in a solo-sexual situation, because a man could not stop to masturbate when orgasm is pending.
Here is another example of an established, routinely double-cumming:
![frustrated 1st.gif]( "frustrated 1st.gif")
![frustrated 2nd.gif]( "frustrated 2nd.gif")
Partner-sex: a partner-sexual situation can be that of the described dom/sub constellation with an inauspicious background, but most likely it is not. Although “ruined orgasms” may be part of the sexplay of non-dom/sub couples, it may be of question if this play is pursued on a regular basis? It would be much smarter and more joyful, if frustrating ejaculation was used to train the male for becoming multi-climactic, just in the same way a man would do so in his solo-sexual routine. Physically speaking it works in the same way. It is quite wonderful when a couple establishes techniques resulting in multiple climaxing during their sexual encounters!
I think this closer look at the subject has shown that the ejaculatory climax bears high potential and remains as much a physical issue as being a mental one.
I want to take a closer look here, because we have to consider different aspects that come with this term:
- 1. Is it the correct term we use for a certain practice? – The expression has established itself as a catchphrase, there is no doubt about it.
- 2. There are two main types of climaxes in the male body: ejaculation and orgasm. So, the term would describe different experiences. – And it sure does!
- 3. Does this term apply equally to partner-sex and solo-sex? – No, not really.
As for 1: Yes, ruined orgasm is an established catchphrase which is generally deciphered as the denying of a man’s satisfactory climactic experience by a partner. That could be described as ruining a climax, or rather frustrating it. The practice may originate from a master/mistress-slave constellation where the slave is totally at the hands (and will) of his master/mistress. It can be seen as an escalation of other practices, such as cum-denial and forced ejaculation. Since two kinds of climaxes are in the game I would rather speak of frustrated climaxing, but – again – the term is established and commonly understood.
As for 2: Both climaxes work differently, but there is a common way to make them happen: you need constant sensory input to trigger a climax, no matter if ejaculation or orgasm. And since both reactions are most often intertwined it may not matter much which of them is pending, once you are under control of a partner. Now, when you sense that you are ever so close to the threshold, or your point-of-no-return is reached and maybe just passed, and you are left alone in that instant, possibly strapped down, then you experience your sexual climax is ruined right there. After all, frustrating a climax is as much a physical issue as it is a mental one.
Ejaculating: Ejaculation is a reflex which runs its program once triggered. The reflex can’t be interrupted, it can’t be ruined per se. However, ejaculating bears different levels of intensity (= felt qualities). Roughly speaking it means that ejaculating turns out to be more intense when the stimulus (of triggering it) is supplied while this climax is happenening, rather than when the stimulus is denied. The receiver, after a long(er) period of sexual arousal, does expect to be relieved from his sexual tension by a strong physical stimulus throughout his climax as the urgent physical need to ejaculate (empty his cum-producing glands) dominates his urge to find relief.
When the receiver passes PONR, his reflex certainly does take place, his respective muscles do spasm in a pulsing manner, and yet he will feel very much deprived of the intensity he is generally used to. Ejaculating runs flat and may feel dull as if something significant is missing, the climactic sensation feels forestalled, incomplete and unsatisfying.
In a dom/sub situation an attempt of ruining ejaculating, or rather experiencing it as such, is more related to the attitude and experience of the (helpless) sub than to the biological process (i.e. reflex).
Orgasm: With orgasm it is a different story. Orgasm is a more complex process than ejaculation. When you mess with that, you mess with the whole man! Whereas ejaculation is a local phenomenon (centered in your pelvis region), the orgasmic reaction, being a powerful reflex as well, integrates the whole body. Orgasm, in short, is a discharge of energy (i.e. arousal and excitement having encompassed your being), letting you lose conscious control over your body for a brief moment.
Other than your ejaculation, which you can manipulate and observe and savor like from a distance, keeping calm over all (which in fact is the beauty of it), your body literally moves you at the moment of orgasmic release. This goes along with secundary physiological changes in your body that may rather be falling short before and while solely ejaculating. Here are the most obvious ones:
- The heart rate peaks as high as 180 beats per minute (from a resting rate of about 70).
- The blood pressure peaks at about 200 over 110, from a resting pressure of about 130 over 70.
- The respiratory rate peaks at about 41 breaths a minute, from a resting rate of about 12 per minute. – The sex flush, if present, peaks in intensity and distribution.
As for 3: There is a huge difference on whether you perform such practice by yourself or if it is performed on you by a partner. And this is bound to the psychological circumstances that come with the different settings.
Solo-sex: there may be only one reason to “frustrate” your ejaculating, and that is doing it in favor of becoming multi-climactic. In such a case you would not even call it “ruining your ejaculation”. It may look the same, but it serves an entirely different purpose and it is experienced very differently as well. – So much for the psychology in the game. – This dulling of your ejaculatory reflex will be most likely part of a routine that also incorporates long stretches of avoiding PONR, which, in other words, is plain edging!
When you manage to avoid PONR but trigger emission (the free flow of milk) it is very rewarding, because you harvest cum (with the associated sensations of expelling fluid from your glands) without loosing your hornyness. When you trigger your reflex and let it run without further stimulating yourself, you may be at the doorstep of becoming multi-climactic! This technique is the gateway for stimulating yourself into a follow-up ejaculating right away, because neither your sexual energy nor your semen had been spent with the ruined first ejaculation. This is rather great than being frustrating! As a matter of fact this is the trick (method) of spilling semen several times within one session. Watch this example:
Now, ruining orgasm is something no man would pursue to practice for the described reason. It may not even work in a solo-sexual situation, because a man could not stop to masturbate when orgasm is pending.
Here is another example of an established, routinely double-cumming:
Partner-sex: a partner-sexual situation can be that of the described dom/sub constellation with an inauspicious background, but most likely it is not. Although “ruined orgasms” may be part of the sexplay of non-dom/sub couples, it may be of question if this play is pursued on a regular basis? It would be much smarter and more joyful, if frustrating ejaculation was used to train the male for becoming multi-climactic, just in the same way a man would do so in his solo-sexual routine. Physically speaking it works in the same way. It is quite wonderful when a couple establishes techniques resulting in multiple climaxing during their sexual encounters!
I think this closer look at the subject has shown that the ejaculatory climax bears high potential and remains as much a physical issue as being a mental one.
