Age Difference

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Chaz said:
LOL... because i have a way with older women, particularly with the 34 to 37 range... and in her own words i am just so much better than anyone she has ever had before, including her husband of 8 yrs!!
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Well, I guess I can understand that. My oldest lover this year was 32 and the youngest was 24...

But really because we get on, like doing the same things.. but for me the age thing is a slight issue and of course because she has already been married.. does change things in my mind... she says the age should make no diff.
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If age is an issue for you, why are you dating older women?
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I have read all the replies so far and as it stands I will say this from my own point of view. Is is extremely difficult for me to find someone that I connect with in a physical, sexual and mental way -- I always have to sacrifice something and usually it is mental -- it is much easier for me to be with someone that I am physically attractive to than without. If you can find the physical and the sexual -- and my g-d the spiritual connection in one person, does it matter what age that person is?

In the words of Mercurial -- follow your bliss!! There is no right or wrong.
 
Just go by the formula first postulated by Malcolm X;

The perfect age of a woman for a man is half his age plus 7.

so thats

1/2(n)+7=the perfect age!

Hey once you are legal and mature enough to handle these situations you date who YOU feel you should date, not anyone else. Everyone else just hates, they don't understand what goes on behind closed doors between you two (and between the sheets). These people are what psychologists would call 'cognitive misers', they take only outside information (age difference) and make a judgement on it, rather than taking in the necessary, relevant information (love,attraction,connection) to make a decision or judgement. These people take short cuts in thinking. And unfortunately, they are much too plentiful.

Don't listen TOO much to what other people say to you, you'd be suprised how many people do NOT have your best interest in mind as they let their own insecurities, jealousies, and personal motives get in the way, consciously or not.

Just remember the formula!
 
Skull Mason said:
Just go by the formula first postulated by Malcolm X;

The perfect age of a woman for a man is half his age plus 7.

so thats

1/2(n)+7=the perfect age!

Hey once you are legal and mature enough to handle these situations you date who YOU feel you should date, not anyone else. Everyone else just hates, they don't understand what goes on behind closed doors between you two (and between the sheets). These people are what psychologists would call 'cognitive misers', they take only outside information (age difference) and make a judgement on it, rather than taking in the necessary, relevant information (love,attraction,connection) to make a decision or judgement. These people take short cuts in thinking. And unfortunately, they are much too plentiful.

Don't listen TOO much to what other people say to you, you'd be suprised how many people do NOT have your best interest in mind as they let their own insecurities, jealousies, and personal motives get in the way, consciously or not.

Just remember the formula!
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Awesome... so... when I finally make it on the Willard Scott show I should still be banging pretty young 57 year olds?
 
I've been happily married to a man 10 1/2 years older than me for 5 1/2 years. I was 22 when we got married and he was 33. Surprisingly, my family wasn't upset or scandalised at all. Part of my initial attraction was because he was established in a career and could be a good provider, but had it gotten to a point where one of us felt the age difference made us fundamenteally unable to connect, it would not have lasted long at all. There were some growing pains for both of us at the beginning, but most of that was because he hadn't been in a relationship in a very long time and I was coming off of two bad relationships in a row. No matter what though, we have always connected very deeply on spiritual, practical, sexual, and emotional levels.

At this point, the age difference is almost nonexistent... except that he can remember the 70s. :) I think the only worry I have is that statistically he is more likely to die before I do, and I can't imagine a life without him.

I don't know if this is true for everyone or even most people, but I've heard that men (and women too) make better parents when they are older-- and I have never seen a father as loving, caring, laid back, and fun as my husband. He is truly amazing. I have some friends that are young fathers that seem to be a lot more neurotic about being parents.
 
Skull Mason said:
Just go by the formula first postulated by Malcolm X;

The perfect age of a woman for a man is half his age plus 7.

so thats

1/2(n)+7=the perfect age!
Click to expand...

I can see that as a reasonable guideline - though I'll be a bit of a spoiler here and say that to me that's a maximum age difference. In the teens and early 20s, it comes close to matching up with what society (and, I'd argue, good psychology) has determined is the border beyond which sex becomes statutory rape.

At the upper end, I also think that an age difference getting into the range of that between a parent and a child - so starting at an age difference of 16 - 18 years - is extreme.

My experience and observation is that majorly disproportionate age differences are unlikely to set the stage for a balanced and respectful relationship. People at different ages are just at different stages of their lives in terms of maturity, priorities, family and friends, etc., and so it's exceptional for relationships with such differences to be healthy and viable.

That said, I'd ideally like to find a relationship along the lines of Malcolm X's equation, because I think I was a bit ahead of my generation and so feel more affinity for those who are a few years younger, and I'd like to have a partner young enough to have more (for me) children.


FF
 
At the age of 16 I was attracted to my 50ish next door neighbor. I would fantasize about him all the time.

Since I've never been attracted to men younger than 40 and because I did not know where to go or how to meet mature men, my first sexual encounter was after I turned 19. He was in his late fifties and very sexy.

When I turned 24 I met my first partner. He was 17 years older than me. We were together for 17 years.

I am now in my mid 40s and in a relationship with a man in his late 50s. We've been together for over 5 years and the intimacy, love, joy, sex, lust, friendship, care, and passion was incredible from the beginning and continues to grow.

Don't be concerned about who you are attracted to. If others can't deal with it, then it's their stupid issue and not yours. The only opinion you should care about is your own.

Play safe, have fun,

MB
 
i agree with u mulebear.
My actual partner is a nice codger of 76 y.o. and averything is still very good : we travel, we have really good sex...and who cares if this is not the most standard thing in the world
 
One of the key differences between men and women is that if a woman is dating a man MUCH younger than herself, she'll know she looks foolish! lol
 
I see no problem with people dating older people but remember if your say 20 dating a 45 year old when you their age they will be in their 70's...puts a kink in sex sometimes....
 
Crissy Snow said:
Is it wrong to be attracted to older men, and wanting to date them if they are old enough to be your daddy or grandpa? For example I am 19 and I like men 25-55
Is that wrong? It seems everytime I mention this I get called a "lolita"
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No way its wrong to be attracted to older person than you are...sure because of laws the younger person must be at legal age to live the situation if decide go on and act the reality of the attraction, without serious consequences. :wink:

In some cultures is natural mature males to marry young 'lolitas' younger than 18. Families and the law are all ok with that.

I do have lolita tendencies in me but it works for me not as much as great ages differences as numbers, but maturity in older males that I find very attractive. The attration comes because what i perceive as experience, strenght, knowlege, patience, acomplishments, view of life and journey and blabla...plus for sure the sexual expertises...:cool: sure not all mature males are all of that but some are.

But until now I have not experience my full blow lolita experience because of distractions in my journey.. the younger males keep stoping me and I'm being distracted by them....:tongue: I really dont remember when I had my last relationship with a man at least my own age...imagine older...:rolleyes:
 
I'm a 50 something dating a 30 something woman and it's the best! We both agree the age thing is meaningless in bed, as well as meaningless out of bed. We just enjoy each other's company soooooooo much.
 
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