So I started spying on some of the LPSG Ladies' pics to see what sort of ideas I could get for pictures to post of me....
I have to say, I'm very intimidated. Nothing brings a damper to an idea more than the fact that I could definitely not compete, with my small scarred boobs, rolls, stretch marks, scars, cellulite....
Would, in y'alls opinion, more fully-clothed pictures be considered sexy, or would I just be wasting my time?
Your questions,
DasLeezard, are entirely understandable and in good company across the board: men have many of the same doubts. Your point about "competing" is essentially 50% of this site: whose cock is bigger / better / stronger / better-shaped. Meh. It gets tiring. Either you like my cock or you don't. I'm not going to win a competition with a lot of the guys on here, so I don't even try.
I think this was the point of those Dove "Campaign for Real Beauty" ads...
nobody is perfect and a healthy self-esteem is essential to being comfortable with who you are.
If you have two minutes, look at
this YouTube video called "Dove Evolution". You may have seen it before, but watch it again and then focus on the closing statement: "
no wonder our perception of beauty is distorted". We are part of a culture with almost unattainably high standards for women and men. It's no wonder to me that you see a lot of people questioning their appearance in the various forums on LPSG. As an example, one of my favorite perennial topics centers on whether or not Speedos are appropriate for men. Like... who should care? However, there's a whole crop of disapprovers -- men as well as women -- who project negative associations onto guys who wear Speedos. Some, but not all of the comments, are based entirely on the wearer's body type. It's as if there is a "wrong" body type to have! How ludicrous is that? We have what we have.
So, I can only provide you my opinion on your question: I think women who project self-confidence are more attractive than women who project self-doubt. You own your body and you should celebrate it. If you're unhappy with it, change what you can
and want to (but only to the degree that you're willing... some people might think joining a gym is enough and for others, its plastic surgery) and be happy with the rest.
As an aside, I'll tell you about my first experience with an older woman. She was a radio DJ in her 20s, and I met her when I was in high school (shout out to Terri!). During the course of working together on a project over several months, I told her about my rushed, sophomoric and guilt-filled sexual experiences and she listened and laughed and assured me "things would get better". For my 17th birthday she offered to provide me a more leisurely tour of the female body. She was a beautiful woman
and overweight. She worked with what she had and she was absolutely sexy and exotic and desirable. She taught me some interesting things about the female body (
man in a boat, really?) and a couple of things I didn't know about my own (
do what to my perineum?). In fact, I credit her with changing my entire outlook on sexuality (albeit young and malleable, my thinking was still a product of my upbringing and my peers -- neither of which were enlightening). The key to her desirability was her confidence... she overlooked the obvious (her weight) and created an alluring presence with her attitude.
Back to you: choosing pictures that flatter your best features and hide what you perceive to be your negatives is the best route to go. Flash some skin if
you like the way it looks, but don't feel like you have to show it if you don't like it. I've always thought
some clothing (for men or women) was more sexy than just displaying naked flesh, but maybe I'm just an old fuddy-duddy. You go with what
you like and don't worry that you're 'wasting your time'... you will be appealing to the guys you want to be appealing to.
