Cheating?
- Thread starter davey_boy
- Start date
hmmmmmmmmmmm........... well, all i know -where theres smoke theres fire! i have been in this situation.
while my hubby was away i found out that he had been on this website and chatting with women where he was going to travel and planning to meet up with them........... for fun and more - the e-mails were very incriminating and i went totally nuts - i still really dont think our relationship has been the same since.
as soon as i go to bed, he gets on the computer and chats to other people .
The other night i caught him camming with someone.......... i thought i was going to kill him........... i started yelling at him............... what r u doing ..............who is that........... i ended up cutting up the web cam cord............
its our anniversary today, and i woke up to feed the baby.. i found the lube next to the pc yet again and wonder who he's been talking to yet again............ obviously i'm not good enough for him anymore. he seems more interested in his dick than his family
BUT ANY WAY - enough of my shit........if you need to chat- you know what to do
while my hubby was away i found out that he had been on this website and chatting with women where he was going to travel and planning to meet up with them........... for fun and more - the e-mails were very incriminating and i went totally nuts - i still really dont think our relationship has been the same since.
as soon as i go to bed, he gets on the computer and chats to other people .
The other night i caught him camming with someone.......... i thought i was going to kill him........... i started yelling at him............... what r u doing ..............who is that........... i ended up cutting up the web cam cord............
its our anniversary today, and i woke up to feed the baby.. i found the lube next to the pc yet again and wonder who he's been talking to yet again............ obviously i'm not good enough for him anymore. he seems more interested in his dick than his family
BUT ANY WAY - enough of my shit........if you need to chat- you know what to do
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It doesn't really matter...my point was, it was enough to put doubt in your mind about her...if you can't get past that doubt, you need to walk away now because the doubt will screw up the relationship anyway...
Flowermaiden's post illustrates what I mean...
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By that logic surely he should wait and see if the relationship is screwed up before walking away? Walking away in order to prevent the relationship being screwed up is pointless and is the same as throwing the relationship away!
Captain Elephant
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It is such a comfortable feeling when you can trust your spouse or significant other in situations without you. Hearsay and circumstantial evidence are ripe fodder for an overactive imagination or suspicious mind.
All of the advice we can offer here is of absolutely no value to you because you pave your own road and have to be comfortable on the path you've made.
I've never been cheated on, but my wife has in her first marriage. I am guilty of cheating with married women long ago and take no particular pride in those acts.
I am very confident that my wife would never cheat on me, and I hope she can always be assured that I would never do anything to ruin what I have now.
So, I guess you have to ask yourself if each of you respect the relationship the same amount that your actions would do nothing to offend the other.
All of the advice we can offer here is of absolutely no value to you because you pave your own road and have to be comfortable on the path you've made.
I've never been cheated on, but my wife has in her first marriage. I am guilty of cheating with married women long ago and take no particular pride in those acts.
I am very confident that my wife would never cheat on me, and I hope she can always be assured that I would never do anything to ruin what I have now.
So, I guess you have to ask yourself if each of you respect the relationship the same amount that your actions would do nothing to offend the other.
You really don't trust her? Get one of her mates who was on holiday with her drunk and ask her what, if anything, happened.
That's what I'd do if I were your age - it's risky. If your girl finds out you did it you're fucked but it sounds like you are kinda fucked anyway. Runco's advice is best but 4 months is not very long to get to know someone so it probably is very hard to tell if she's lying or not. So ask someone else. You're young though - this shit happens, if you break up you'll get over it, so will she :dunno:
That's what I'd do if I were your age - it's risky. If your girl finds out you did it you're fucked but it sounds like you are kinda fucked anyway. Runco's advice is best but 4 months is not very long to get to know someone so it probably is very hard to tell if she's lying or not. So ask someone else. You're young though - this shit happens, if you break up you'll get over it, so will she :dunno:
no i don't think your'e a jerk at all javyn.
it is just tricky because he doesn't know for certain.
if he knew for certain she cheated, than i would say dump her.
she may have just been being social and being a woman
most men take a friendly smile as "she wants to fuck me"
and starts the whole pushy alpha male crap.
which she wants no part of but also doesn't want to make a scene.
it is just tricky because he doesn't know for certain.
if he knew for certain she cheated, than i would say dump her.
she may have just been being social and being a woman
most men take a friendly smile as "she wants to fuck me"
and starts the whole pushy alpha male crap.
which she wants no part of but also doesn't want to make a scene.
The most vital things in a relationship is trust and safety. Anything of worth keeping takes work. That means trying NOT to flirt when the bf/gf is away. Not even going to a bar that would present that kind of situation.
I had a gf that I had not even slept with yet (made-out alot) and one day I caught her flirting with another guy I didn't even know. So, being a jerk I freaked and accused her of such and such. Well, needless to say she dumped me because she was scared of my anger and didn't want to be with me anymore. About a year later I saw one of the guys I used to work with in construction and he also knew her at the time her and I were going out. He already has a gf. He personally didn't like her anyways, but he told me that when I was seeing her she was going out with two other guys! The thing is she told him and her friends that I was her favorite, BUT I totally ruined it with my 'assumptions' and insecurities. And my anger. The only person you will ever be able to control is yourself. NEVER try to control others. If she did OR didn't cheat on you doesn't matter. The table is turned and now YOU must make the choice to trust her at her word. Otherwise dump her and quit whining about it!
I had a gf that I had not even slept with yet (made-out alot) and one day I caught her flirting with another guy I didn't even know. So, being a jerk I freaked and accused her of such and such. Well, needless to say she dumped me because she was scared of my anger and didn't want to be with me anymore. About a year later I saw one of the guys I used to work with in construction and he also knew her at the time her and I were going out. He already has a gf. He personally didn't like her anyways, but he told me that when I was seeing her she was going out with two other guys! The thing is she told him and her friends that I was her favorite, BUT I totally ruined it with my 'assumptions' and insecurities. And my anger. The only person you will ever be able to control is yourself. NEVER try to control others. If she did OR didn't cheat on you doesn't matter. The table is turned and now YOU must make the choice to trust her at her word. Otherwise dump her and quit whining about it!
D_Jared Padalicki
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No...I'm saying if he cannot get past the doubt, he should walk now because those feelings of doubt & mistrust will poison the relationship anyway...
Hockeytiger
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The issue is whether you feel you can trust her or not. Whether she has done anything or not isn't really all that relevant even if it may seem so.
Do you believe her story when you confronted her? If the two of you have to be separated for a few days again, do you trust her?
If the trust is gone, then the relationship is over regardless of whether or not you still love her.
You may be able to rebuild the relationship from scratch, but the current relationship is over if you don't trust her.
Do you believe her story when you confronted her? If the two of you have to be separated for a few days again, do you trust her?
If the trust is gone, then the relationship is over regardless of whether or not you still love her.
You may be able to rebuild the relationship from scratch, but the current relationship is over if you don't trust her.
D_Jared Padalicki
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If you don't trust her then things are done already. Save yourself all the time and nonsense by getting out now. You're young, don't worry about it!
D_Della Doubledees
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You had to search on FACEBOOK to find the pictures! That's a lot of work to go through. Sounds like you didn't trust her BEFORE this happened. It's OKAY to admit that, you know? Sometimes those instincts we have to protect ourselves are really red flags that we already know what we're supposed to do.
She wasn't going to tell you anything about that guy she met until you confronted her. After the confrontation, she apologized to you and admitted she was doing something inappropriate. If she cared about your relationship, she would have offered up the apology and explanation before she was 'found out'.
I'm going to get some heat for this, I'm sure, but she *IS* 18, and honestly, she's probably not mature enough to handle a serious commitment like the one it sounds like you want to have with her.
I mean that, in the sense that there isn't a whole lot that you can do to *SPEED UP* the maturity process. Everyone posting on here... do me a favor, and think back to when you were 18???? She's not even old enough to drink yet, and barely legal!!!!
Yeah, yeah, I know, it sucks to hear that same "maturity speech" over and over again... but honestly, it's true. With maturity, comes an appreciation for commitment, truth, and honesty. When you're a hot little 18 year old girl, you've got men drooling all over you, right and left. You get used to the attention, and don't realize that eventually, it all goes away..... and it was never REAL in the first place. She may not figure that out for a while, and there's nothing you can do to change that.
She wasn't going to tell you anything about that guy she met until you confronted her. After the confrontation, she apologized to you and admitted she was doing something inappropriate. If she cared about your relationship, she would have offered up the apology and explanation before she was 'found out'.
I'm going to get some heat for this, I'm sure, but she *IS* 18, and honestly, she's probably not mature enough to handle a serious commitment like the one it sounds like you want to have with her.
I mean that, in the sense that there isn't a whole lot that you can do to *SPEED UP* the maturity process. Everyone posting on here... do me a favor, and think back to when you were 18???? She's not even old enough to drink yet, and barely legal!!!!
Yeah, yeah, I know, it sucks to hear that same "maturity speech" over and over again... but honestly, it's true. With maturity, comes an appreciation for commitment, truth, and honesty. When you're a hot little 18 year old girl, you've got men drooling all over you, right and left. You get used to the attention, and don't realize that eventually, it all goes away..... and it was never REAL in the first place. She may not figure that out for a while, and there's nothing you can do to change that.
lol.
he is razzing you.
love and trust are not totally intertwined.
davey may love her but doesn't have trust in her due to the lack
of experience she holds.
you are obviously not what javyn said you are.:wink:
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