Cougar

vancouvergirl

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
53
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2
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153
Location
Vancouver, BC
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
I don't think actual submissiveness has anything to do with being used. Submissive falls more into a yin-yang sense. There are naturally initiating things and naturally responding things. In this course of natural interaction is where "submissive" falls in.

Being used goes more along with terms like "naive," "too trusting," "gullible," "low self-esteem," or "lacking confidence." I do not think these relate to submissiveness at all - as it is a good quality. You fall into these other terms when you take submissiveness too far to the point that it is detrimental.

Good point (the yin-yang). I think you are right about submissiveness in the regular world. "Too trusting, naive, low self-esteem", etc is bang on and it is detrimental.

But when it comes to the bdsm world, it's a whole other ballgame . "Too trusting, naive, low self-esteem", etc have nothing to do with it (or shouldn't). It's a power play between two (hopefully well balanced) consenting adults.