courtship

[Osiris]

Osiris my love, your lady has rocks in her head!!!

No, she has a good heart and a loving way, she has just been hurt terribly by the men that preceeded me. She does do a lot for me and I adore her for it. The hard part is I tend to give my all to a woman and never in all my dating life was I ever reciprocated in kind for the things I lavished on others.

​

I think I just hit on something. Do you think that men subconciously don't really court because no one ever courts us? Society does tand to make the man out as the one who should spend a fortune and the woman doesn't. How should a woman reciprocate? Should she reciprocate? Is the fact that a woman may not reciprocate the reason the world is so full of men who won't court? Man did I just open Pandora's Box?​

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Yes. The most important part and least talked about part of the body. The Heart. The look and the touch. The wanting of someones heart long before their flesh. All of a sudden the world and everything in it seem new. A flame now burns. This is a permanent flame that will never die.

 

[The Dragon]

For me when a man shows me that sort of tenderness nothing is good enough for him, every desire and whim (if it is in my power) will be met.
I burn for him, his pleasure is mine. I need him and I need him to want me.
I give of myself to the fullest. I share ALL of myself.

Sorry Osiris if I spoke out of turn and offended you...none was ment.

 

[Osiris]

For me when a man shows me that sort of tenderness nothing is good enough for him, every desire and whim (if it is in my power) will be met.
I burn for him, his pleasure is mine. I need him and I need him to want me.
I give of myself to the fullest. I share ALL of myself.

Sorry Osiris if I spoke out of turn and offended you...none was ment.

Oh pshaw. No offense taken. Unless you know my wife's pain and what she endured at the hands of her exes, you would be correct in your first statement. My wife became a medicated and desensitized mess. She is learning to find her way back to emotional stability, I just have to learn to be more patient I suppose. :smile:

 

[TheRob]

I attempt to court women
they do not respond well
if you want men to court you, try to get your fellow women to respond better to the few of us that try

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I reciprocate my little heart out

 

[Principessa]

I'm sorry but this is a screamer! I'm trying to be serious here (put on a straight face, put on a straight face, put on a straight face) WAAAA HAAAA HAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA I'm sorry - I can picture his Mom with the spoon. His mom and 4 older siblings adored me. They thought the son rose and set on me. QT...and you did what to him? What I'm trying to say is....let's see, if it had been one of my sisters...well I'm sure he'd still be in the emergency room with the doctors trying to remove the keys from his rectum.

I was young, he was my first boyfriend. The first time I just got in the car and moped, I think I cried. After the second time it wasn't an issue.:tongue:

What some men fail to see is that when they act like gentlemen, take their time, woo their lady, show respect it speaks to a womans heart and soul.

The taking time to listen, to appreciate her unique qualities developes trust. And when a woman decides to trust with her mind, heart and soul she gives of her body as a gift to her man. She desires to please him. To see him happy.

YES!!! Exactly, this is all I desire.

An absolute classic:biggrin1:

See, this is why a nice girl like me is still single.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Are you an old fashioned Gentleman when you court your lady?

I've heard many women claim they want men to woo them in a courtly and gentlemanly manner. Based on what I've seen in my years, I no longer believe it. They may say that, but they don't really mean it.

 

[36DD]

What some men fail to see is that when they act like gentlemen, take their time, woo their lady, show respect it speaks to a womans heart and soul.
The taking time to listen, to appreciate her unique qualities developes trust.
And when a woman decides to trust with her mind, heart and soul she gives of her body as a gift to her man.
She desires to please him.
To see him happy.

That was so well said Dragonfly! Men: take notice!

 

[36DD]

Yes. The most important part and least talked about part of the body. The Heart. The look and the touch. The wanting of someones heart long before their flesh. All of a sudden the world and everything in it seem new. A flame now burns. This is a permanent flame that will never die.

Where do all the men like you live? Sadly, I don't think in my city...or state!

 

[Anaconda71]

OH boy... where did wooing go?
Probably out the window with being nice to someone, like opening the door for them.. then getting chewed out about being sexist... that she can "open the fucking door myself, asshole". anyways, it's Mr. Jaded and Bitter here.
Who knows, people are a strange animal.

 

[str82fcuk]

I would never dare open a door for a woman here in canada let alone smile at one. sometimes I have accidentally smiled at women here and have gotten some really hateful responses for that (well maybe its just like that in the parts of canada I've lived in)

 

[viking1]

This is entirely out of my league...

 

[hypoc8]

I think the main problem is that most guys just don't know how or don't care, to treat a lady. It seems most women have been treated so badly by their former partners that by the time I come along and show them some respect and kindness they don't know how to take it or find it as weakness, it's like they would rather be treated like crap, this has happened several times. It's very hard to figure out.

 

[Principessa]

I think the main problem is that most guys just don't know how or don't care, to treat a lady. True, because no one teaches them. If a young man does do something romantic or nice for his girlfriend in high school all his friends are liable to call him queer or pussy whipped. :frown1: It seems most women have been treated so badly by their former partners I think we have music videos to thank for that. Rarely are women treated like anything but sex toys in videos. that by the time I come along and show them some respect and kindness they don't know how to take it or find it as weakness, This is very true unfortunately. :frown1: it's like they would rather be treated like crap, this has happened several times. It's very hard to figure out.

No woman wants to be treated like crap but when you have been emotionally, verbally; and/or physically abused for so long you honestly don't know how to respond to human kindness. It takes patience.

 

[Sixofspades]

Well, we as a world are caught up in two extreme opposite ends of getting together - there's the whole old-school notion of romance, complete with gentlemanly conduct and women being swept off their feet, but you've also got the party scene where people are so much quicker to hook up and form relationships based off of one night of fun.

It's important to try to gauge what the person you're interested in is all about in that regard. I try to do this and then think about how I'd want to be courted if I were her. If she's at the bar every weekend then she's going to warrant a completely different approach than a homebody-type girl, who likely would enjoy a long, gradual courtship. So as a guy you're always looking at how she is and interpreting that to put yourself in the best possible position for being with her.

So her social behavior is one thing, but the other biggie is past history. A girl who's been in abusive relationships for example is with all likelihood going to be somewhat insecure. Because of this, I know from experience that she will probably not respond well to traditional, romantic courtship. She will doubt it, mistrust it, and mistake it for neediness/desperation, not believing that she deserves to be treated well just because I like her. And the problem with the proliferation of the party scene is that it makes this sort of reaction very common, whether or not she's had bad experiences. So guys then erroneously think they have to be assholes to make it happen, when you just need to be right for her, and be able to strike the right balance with everything in your interactions with her.

Along with the adaptation of myself to her to a certain degree, I try to take a middle of the road stance when it comes to actual seduction. I'll be a little vain and make her wonder if I mean it. I'll give her a hard time because her hair's not great that day. Once in a while I'll throw in a significant flirt, to let her know that I've got balls and that I'm not afraid to go for what I want. But above all I'll try to keep her laughing with things that I feel she might be interested in, and it could be as banal as our high-pitched waiter or some really shitty show on TV. That human connection and level of familiarity has to be there. And like I said above, as a guy it's important to get the right balance of evasion versus interest. She has to feel like she's being given space, but also that I've tested her to my own satisfaction - that I genuinely like her for who she is and that I'm not just doing this because she's female and available. Getting this right without making her feel under any pressure is what it's about for me.

Standards are important to both parties but I do try to always put myself in the position of chooser. Call me chauvenistic, but I've never quite been able to get the caveman image out of my head - you know the one, where he drubs his woman over the head and drags her back to his cave.

So I'm no No_Strings, but definitely no wham-bam-thank-you-maam either. It's like with politics - it's just safer to be somewhere in the middle.

 

[goodwood]

I love wooing women.
Cooking for them, taking them out, leaving notes for her to be surprised by in places she won't find them right away, flowers from my gardens or if in winter ones i pick out at the florist, gifts, time spent together watching a movie, surprising her with her favorite bottle of wine, texts and e-mails, a quick v.m. to let her know that I am thinking of her,
taking care of errands she doesn't have time to get to, detailing her car for her, I like to try to think of anything that might be a pleasant and unexpected surprise for her to let her know that I am attentive and aware of her as a person and of her life.

 

[36DD]

I love wooing women.
Cooking for them, taking them out, leaving notes for her to be surprised by in places she won't find them right away, flowers from my gardens or if in winter ones i pick out at the florist, gifts, time spent together watching a movie, surprising her with her favorite bottle of wine, texts and e-mails, a quick v.m. to let her know that I am thinking of her,
taking care of errands she doesn't have time to get to, detailing her car for her, I like to try to think of anything that might be a pleasant and unexpected surprise for her to let her know that I am attentive and aware of her as a person and of her life.

Yeah, but you're not real are you?

 

[goodwood]

LOL 36. Ahh, but I am! And somehow single. : (

 

[goodwood]

. . . drawing her a candle lit bubble bath, a massage at the end of a stressful day.