Desperate call for help..(relationship gone wrong)

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by aztechx, Oct 29, 2008.

  1. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    ive post this a number of times here but i havent really told the story in detail..but i think ive been drained so badly emotionally to a point that ive thought of suicide..and i think its best that i come out at this site where i can remain anonymous without any unnecessary judgments from people i know..but here goes..

    i have a best friend i would like to call 'billy'..we were best buddies and spent a whole lot of time together..ive never been sure of my sexuality...either that or im denying what i am..but I’ve had crushes on guys since i was 15 or so..But at the same time i was still in relationships with girls..that part is confusing enough really..but back to the story,it was 2 years since ive known billy and for what reason i dont know,i started to feel attracted to him. There was no feelings whatsoever at the start of our friendship..

    i really feared this feelings i had..i didnt want to spoil the really great friendship we were having but i couldnt stop myself from feeling more and more attracted to him by the day..There was a time when we were playing soccer,I was walking past him and he sort of squeezed my fingers..i didnt know why,it must be a playful friendly thing but it drove me crazy..

    Things went wild a few months later and i started touching him in his sleep..he would stir at times but that’s about it..Things got worse when i started sucking him and he actually cummed on every occasions..on one of those occasions,he held my head and thrusted his dick into my mouth himself. there were also times when he would say the words 'suck' when i started touching him,he even wrapped his legs around me after i sucked him one night..Positioning his thighs on my dick..This went on for about 2 months or so where i sucked him in his sleep more than half a dozen times..however,one evening while he was napping,i sucked him,he cummed,i did it again and he cummed again..however,i just couldnt let go and on the 3rd time,he just woke up and was 'shocked' by what he saw..

    his anger was real at the time and because of that,i automatically put all the blame on myself..i didn't think once about the fact that he wanted it as well since i thought he was really asleep at that time..he was really mad and called me a rapist etc.he didnt talk to me anymore after that..i felt so guilty for what i did it nearly killed me..he showed faces when i speak to him..he really treated me differently from the others..Laughing around happily with the others and pulling faces in an instant when i speak to him..it nearly killed me all this..i nearly fell into a severe case of depression, not knowing what to do, where to turn to or who to talk to. friends got worried as my life literally went downwards after that..

    i was stuck in a program with billy which will take a year to complete..and like it or not,we had to work together..and over the period of a month..things got better between us..but that was not before i had to go through the nastiest stuffs he threw at me..we started talknig casually which for me was worth everything in the world..we never spoke about the incident again after that..i did apologize to him and said so many things to explain the situation but it never worked..

    However,things got bad again when i just couldnt keep my freaking hands of him..i sucked him again in his sleep and this time,he was more 'involved',wrapping his legs around my neck as i suck him with him on his back and he would wrestle me to his side when he was about to cum thrusting his dick into my mouth. Again,this happened over half a dozen times until one morning..i sucked him as usual and he did his usual stuffs wrapping his legs and thrusting etc. but right after hu cummed,he rolled over facing the other way towards the wall..i wanted to cuddle up and when i did he pushed my hands away..and when i pushed my body towards him,he got out of bed and slept somewhere else..i left him and slept..but when i woke up,he was still there and again my stupoidity took over and i touched and sucked him again..but he was sort of struggling but i didnt notice as i must have been a bit high at that time and i was used to the way he wrestles me to his side when he cummed.and that was when he opened his eyes and walked off..the same thing repeated itself..he treated me nastily and said he never realized what i did to him. he asked me how many times did i actually suck him without him knowing was shocked. as i really thought he wanted it.he heavily denied this and said he never realized nor wanted it.again,i felt so guilty that i forgot that the fact was he wanted the blowjob as much as i did..

    his treatment towards me continued for over 4 months this time..and to say the least,the way he treated me nearly drove me to suicide..he spoke to me in a cold manner and never said more than a word or two every time i speak to him. The thing that kills me most is that look he gives to me whenever i talk..it really hurt me alot. on one of those night, he really did something so bad i locked myself in the bathroom and nearly did what i think was the stupidest decision in my life..i slipped into depression once again..i distance myself from people and it was sometime before i could regain my confidence again

    through this all,i never stopped trying to make up for what i did..i tried to be nice no matter how nasty he treated me at times..i smile and laugh in front of him when inside i was torn apart really bad..the last 4 months to date was the worse time of my life..

    However,the thing that triggered me to write this was what happened yesterday..i wanted to take a nap in his room at our campus' hostel..and he was sleeping beside me.i had ideas of doing things and got really horny but i stopped myself from doing anything stupid reminding myself of what happened in the past. BUT then,he started to shift his legs and constantly had contacts with mine..he even placed his thighs over mine at one stage..there was also one time when he was lying on his back,he lifted his head up so he could see where my legs were and then put his beside mine still touching me..After awhile he would just roll away but most of the time,he was having a hard-on..note that he was ‘asleep’ throughout the whole thing..When he did it again after that,i just couldn’t stand it and started to touch his already hard dick.he cooperatively rolled over facing me so i could do it easily i think. I gave him a handjob for awhile and he ended up cumming in my hands..i made sure I had as much cum in my hands so I won’t make a mess..and when I was going out to wash it all off,I notice him lifting his head once again to see where I was going..but when I came back,he was ‘asleep’ again.
    And since he was already treating me like shyt before that,there wasn’t much difference to see after the incident. He wasn’t VERY angry the way he was when he had his outbursts on the pass 2 occasions and still talked to me despite the face he normally puts up.this has got me really confused.

    I know what an idiot and a useless person I am for doing what I do but ive tried so hard to stop myself from doing what I did. And just when I thought I was doing okay,he tempted me to touch him again. It took me 2 whole months to realize that he wanted the earlier blowjobs as I was engulfed in my own guilt and his reactions really made me believe that he was never aware of what I did. For the last 8 months,ive never stopped thinking about this issue and it is really draining me emotionally. He still doesn’t talk to me much and never once has he smiled since the second outburst. Im just very confused over the whole thing.i don’t know why this Is affecting me so badly. being a guy,i think ive cried too much over the months but the stress and feelings were bottled up and it was too much for me to handle and the only way i could vent them was by crying to myself..

    I would really appreciate any advice I can get,or questions..since this thing has been going on for so long,they might be details ive left out since so much has happened..ill add them later if I can recall..and if u guys would like to flame me or anything, please do it as gently as possible..im already in enough of a situation to not need anymore unnecessary stress..i just don’t know what to do anymore as ive found myself getting more and more confused by the day..

    Thanks in advance!
    aztechx
     
  2. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    here's what you do: stay away from this guy and find someone who can treat you with respect...

    clearly he knew what you were doing all those times & he wanted it just as much as you did, but he's afraid to admit it to you or to himself...

    you have to keep as much distance between the two of you as possible...

    do not EVER sleep near him again...as a matter of fact, don't even allow yourself to be alone with him...

    focus on your education, get some new friends, and concentrate on making yourself happy...
     
  3. badgirl22

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Messages:
    756
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US
    Verified:
    Photo
    I completely agree with killerb - the guy knew what you were doing and wanted you to do it. He's in serious denial and is looking to blame you for the way he feels. Go find someone else who wants you and who's willing to let you know he wants you - that way the two of you can have fabulous sex together. That someone pretends to be asleep is crazy! Nice farce though - stop falling for it.

    Hope you find someone who wants to admit to wanting you.

    B
     
  4. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    i was amazed by how he managed to make me be in a state of mind where i believed that everything he said was true..that he was never aware for what ive done..for such a long time,i was forced to feel that i was 100% at fault and that mere fact nearly destroyed me.i dont know how but i think it must be the way he treated me after that and the anger at the initial stage of his outburst..besides that, he would just act normal on the other days where i sucked him..like nothing ever happened..

    i dont know why i want to mend things so bad..that has been my main problem since the start..i try so hard to mend things no matter how impossible it may sound..i miss this guy alot..i really enjoyed his company when we were friends and people did comment on how close we were back then..but now,i myself isnt so sure which is the thing i want more,the friendship or the sex..that fact is really making me rather unstable at the moment..i just cant let go..i dont know why..i force conversations with him at times..and his reactions would always end up hurting me..

    worse thing is,we are stuck together in a project with me and him being the top two..we have to work together alot and at times it makes me feel like a very bad person as i actually 'use' the program as an excuse to speak or work with him..its pathetic at times,the way i try to get his attention,try to make up for what i did but i just cant stand the fact that he couldnt forgive me for what i did at first..im not even sure what i want at the moment..

    billy is the first guy that ive felt so much for..i just dont think it will be the same with others..growing up in a rather conservative surrounding,i wouldnt want it to end up that way..i dont know but this thing with billy is more then just sexual..there was something emotional between us that made it so important for me..it would make my day even if he spoke normally to me for a moment..im just very confused and i think he must be as well..again,i dont know..i cant seem to judge things properly anymore..
     
    #4 aztechx, Oct 29, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2008
  5. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    this guy is NOT your friend...
    there is no real friendship there...
    there is no real sex...it's only you sucking him off & then him punishing you for it...
    you don't deserve to be treated like crap and it's up to you to stop it...
     
  6. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    11
    aztechx, re: your last paragraph above ... "i just don't think it will be the same with others" ...

    it's won't be. it will be different; it will be better in many ways; it will be healthier; trust me on this. you have very intense, driving feelings about him that your brain needs to guide you to just step back from.

    feelings are not facts; when you stop being involved with this guy, it will be hard at first, but it will get easier and it will get better. be strong, and then be smart.
     
  7. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    what about the first 2 years before anything even happened..those were real right?i keep thinking to myself how will all these end..will we ever be as close as we did before..or will it just end the way it is at the moment..the latter is something ive found hard to take a grip on since the start..its the feeling that I was the one who ruined an otherwise perfect friendship and that I was the one who started it all..sure there must be fault on my side as well..i could never understand why the whole thing affect me so much..ive lost all my ego everytime im with him.and since the day i met him,ive known him for someone who has a gigantic ego.

    another thing that i keep thinking is what is going on in his head the whole time??i know its something impossible to know but i just want to understand him and ive found that impossible..

    i will need alot of guidance and motivation to do it..most of the time,i would give up halfway through and end up diving into my old state of mind again..i keep thinking of ridiculous stuffs such as "will he feel anything if i start ignoring him??" , "will he ever realize that he too played a part in the whole thing??" , "does he have any guilt in him for doing what he did to me knowing he was the one who wanted it as bad??" these sort of questions has been playing around in my mind since the start..and when he doesnt seem affected by the things i do or by the whole thing in general,it becomes stressfulfor me as well..i sound so stupid...
     
  8. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    11
    I think we've all been in a situation where we've had those thoughts about someone else.

    The thing is ... this is about Y*O*U. Not him. You can't do anything about his twisted, unsafe responses to you.

    You will be better off in the long run without him. You will hurt in the short run. You can deal with that!
     
  9. exwhyzee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    4,578
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Male
    That's the truth. I've been in situations that were one-sided too...and I had to learn to let go. Its not easy, but look at it this way...you will be free to make a good connection with a person who can be in a healthy relationship with you. Remaining in the present situation is not sustainable.
     
  10. 1BiGG1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,977
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Good advice being given in this thread and I agree move on as fast as possible. If you think you enjoyed things with this guy, wait till you find one that loves you back! :wink:
     
  11. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    First off, he obviously was not "asleep" the whole time. He knew EXACTLY what was happening. It takes two guy, and he was definitely a willing participant. He strikes me as someone who may very well be totally confused about his own sexuality, or ashamed of it. So he backs off, treats you like shit, and validates himself by doing so (which is ridiculous but he does). To him, his being involved with another guy cannot be his fault, at least not yet as he is unable to digest everything.

    He obviously "teased" you when you slept near him; that tells me he knows fully how you feel. But at the same time, I never once have seen you say he has reciprocated in any way towards you. It's either of two things man; he is either using you OR he cannot bring himself to admit his sexuality to himself. Funny how he can open himself enough to allow you to suck his cock, but not have enough balls to do the same.

    It tells me that perhaps, just perhaps, he is only using your feelings for him to get you to do as he wants "when noone is around". Then he distances himself as much as he can until he "needs it again". Bad news guy.

    I know you built up a thorough close friendship with Billy prior to doing anything with him, which is giving you the feelings you describe now. If anyone is "at fault" it is him for sending you totally mixed signals. He plays with your emotions. He obviously succeeds at making you feel as if it were all your fault.

    Now you need to be strong and distance yourself as much as possible, yes even in the class where the two of you are paired up. Keep everything strictly business, do not allow yourself to get in the position of "wanting him so much you ache" again; if you do you already know what will happen. He will "play" you once again.

    If you are able to remain strong and not allow yourself to fall into this again, perhaps HE will open up a little. If he doesn't then you already know by his actions that he is using you. If he does open up, who knows? Do not force him to open up, stay "cold" around him. It will be very hard because of your own emotions, but it will also make you feel better about yourself if you can do it. It's up to you to stop allowing yourself to be used in this manner.

    He seemingly knows how you feel, and knows that at a legs touch, you will be at his crotch. He knows this. As long as he plays "sleep" it allows him to always blame you.

    Don't fall for it. Guys suck that are like this. Don't be his booty call anymore. It's up to you to straighten out your own emotions.

    Distance guy. Cold guy. Be as distanced and as "business cold" in class that you need to be. As I said, do NOT fall into the "leg touch" thing again. Trust me, he knows it drives you crazy and is counting on you to always react the same way, by getting at his crotch because you want him so bad. He's playing you.

    As the others have said, at some point you may even find someone else that you care for that won't be "asleep" that can return what you give. It's obvious to me that you love this guy Billy but as in life, things don't always return themselves the way we want them to.

    Be strong guy; you wouldn't have written this note if you didn't know already this is what you have to do.
     
  12. Hippie Hollow Girl

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    613
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Austin Texas
    Verified:
    Photo
    How much longer do you have to work on this project with this guy?


    I would suggest you treat this guy like he is a bad drug that you are addicted too. You need to detox from him.

    Don't put yourself in situations that will cause you to fall off the wagon. When you go sleep in his room or in his bed.....you are setting yourself up for more of the same shit. You are not in control right now.

    If you are having problems with depression and thoughts of suicide please get some professional help.
     
  13. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male

    ive been very stubborn going through the whole thing.i kept saying to myself that something good is going to come out of this if I go on playing nice..i didn’t for once had any bad intentions of attacking him back ..i felt that I didn’t deserve to and that I didn’t have the right to be mad of whatever he has done bco it was my mistake in the first place..Does the fact that we have never spoken about the topic change anything?









    The program will be until end of march next year..and there is a possible extension to it if we don’t meet our required target..
    The suicide thing was a one off I think..on that day itself,I was faced with many things that suggested that my friends were leaving me after they knew and along with the many things billy did to me and my mind was just messed up!and worse was i didnt have anyone i feel that i can talk to about this..i started to think that if anything happened to me,I could put the blame on billy and make him suffer..it was definitely wrong but at that time I was just messed up…
    Sometimes,billly doesn’t even have to do anything,the fact is he simply doesn’t want to talk to me or have anything to do with me but im taking it as him ‘doing’ something to attack me..even after so long ive yet to learn how to block my feelings from being affected by him..

    And thank you so much..i just do not know how else i can thank you guys for all the support and advice..
     
    #13 aztechx, Oct 29, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2008
  14. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    coming to think about it..billy doesnt ignore me totally..he just doesn't want to have casual talks with me anymore..if i asked him about stuffs like the program,studies etc.although with a very straight face and no smiles or jokes whatsoever, he would give me full answers and not brief answers that suggests that he wants me out of his face quick. but once i try to have casual talks the way we used to have,he would just keep quiet..and ignore me..i guess he is just trying to be 'professional'. this actually gives me hope at times but im not complaining as it would make me even more miserable if he ignores me completely..the feeling of seeing him having fun and laughing around with others is something i really hate..since he just wouldnt do the same for me anymore..

    i even had the idea that he still remembers and liked me as his best buddy but he was just afraid that i would take advantage of him again which explains why he treated me so badly. and that he hated to think of what he has done to me. the root is i just doont want billy to be seen as the bad guy here..even to my friends i made sure that they put all their judgments aside as i dont think it would be fair for him. he was a nice friend before everything started and i..i just dont know what to say anymore at this point but i think u guys can understand..
     
  15. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    He may be afraid to go back to what it was before the sex because he feels that opens the door to you to come on to him when you please. Whether you realize it or not, Billy as well as yourself a little, ARE the bad guys here, moreso Billy I think.

    It seems as if not only here but in an answer above to my answer, that you don't mind being a booty call. I can understand attraction and "the hots" for someone, and Billy is easily that to you; thing is he knows it.
    Keep your other friends out of what goes on between you and Billy, none of their business. It seems you want to make sense out of a one-way relationship, a booty call one at that as he knows anytime he beckons, you hunger for him. Don't let yourself accept all of the blame here, the majority of it is his I think for sending signals that it was OK to go down on him. Once he cums or soon after, he gets mean and indifferent again.
    You need to truly get away from him immediately. Request a different partner in your class for personal reasons, you need to get away from him. Your problem is part of you doesn't want to get away from him. You enjoy sucking his cock; thing is you are left with empty and confused feelings afterward. More confused.

    Get away from him guy. As far as you can. As she said above, he is toxic. Your an easy mark for him, basically anytime he wants you, you are there and it confuses you because you like/love the guy.

    It's a one-way street guy. You know the score, I can tell by your writings. It's after the sex that confuses the shit outta you. You may never get back to where you were before the sex because it has gone beyond that. I hope you do something about it.

    Either distance yourself or have the courage when the two of you are alone to confront him on it. Yes, be prepared for him to say mean shit to you, blame you, etc. Sometimes people are mean to someone else because nothing else is working to drive you away. If this is the case, cement it, move on and learn from it.

    I've been "fatally" attracted to someone in a very similar situation before. Now I'm with a great guy and all "Jake" is for me is a distant, bad confused time in my life. Leave your past behind and move forward. It's unhealthy for you to go on wondering. It's like trying to explain to someone why you don't love them anymore, sometimes you truly don't know, you just don't.

    Move forward, learn, and seek better than what you have.

    And for the record, if suicidal thoughts or whatever overcome you again, you really need to seek out confidential, private help, whether with a totally trusted friend or a trained professional. They have no emotional stake as you do in your problem.
     
  16. CALAMBO

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2008
    Messages:
    2,028
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    OHIO
    very much drama going on here...quit the nonsense with this guy...you know the real deal here...he is a controlling, manipulating you and your weakness for his cock...sex is a very powerful emotion and you have it bad for this guy...unless you want to be his slave forever mentally/sexual...run from this guy...you can do it...get a better class of friends or lover, the mental stess...has you on edge of doing something very bad in your life...he is not worthy of you...good luck
     
  17. aztechx

    aztechx New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    this has been the root of my problem and the weird thing is im fully aware of this but im not doing anything about it. i keep assuring myself 'tomorrow' will be a better day for the last 8 months (clearly it hasnt)..that he will finally open up and accept the fact that he can enjoy everything without having the slightest doubt in his mind. im constantly in denial.i keep trying to put thoughts into my mind to make me feel that things WILL get better..even the recent incident where he was the one who 'approached' me gave me some glimmer of hope (stupid really)..i mean if he claims to be so mad at me but could accept a handjob..he is in denial as well and thats when i start hoping that he would stop denying..sometimes i feel like ive buried those things too deep into my skull that i can no longer reach them..i desperately try to have casual talks with him in hopes of having the mood light up..i do spend a lot of time with him alone..most of it in his car since we have alot of work regarding the project..im just attached to him in so many ways..



    sometimes its not just the sex...ok it is the sex but i just want to be close to him at times..it doesnt have to involve any touchings but being in close proximity with him just makes me feel nice..i cared for him in a lot of things..made life a whole lot easier for him along the way..i want to run but like ive said earlier..something inside me just wont budge..how do i gain control over it?

    what if he starts treating me nice..and he tries to have me suck him again?how do i know if he genuinely wants it and that no problem will arise after that?its just the kind of questions hanging in my mind that has allowed myself to be dragged this far and this long..

    im going to have to re-read everything and really think hard tonight..this is just not something i can change in a flash...
     
  18. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Oh Aztechx, it seems obvious to me that you are severely depressed and probably were before this stuff started.

    It think Billy is a preditor/manipulator and he is feeding off your depression and exploiting it. The only question is whether it is conscious or unconsious behaviour on his part. And the answer to that is irrelevant really.

    No good can possibly come of this situation. I think you should consider moving to another project or institution. You are already displaying symptoms of addiction (yes, we can become addicted to bad situations) and dependancy (your mood and self-esteem depend on how he is treating you). And you're doing the classic victim thing of blaming yourself.

    I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but I do think you have to realise what a psychologically dangerous situation you are in. As a young adult whose personality is still forming the danger is that you are setting up a pattern for future relationships. And not just sexual relationships either, but all forms of social and work relationships. You could end up with almost no self-esteem and always be dependant on the judgement of others. That is an open invitation to abusers.

    Billy is fucked up. He is not a good person. Get away from him.
     
  19. 8060

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,363
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1,026
    Location:
    The Midwest
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think that we have all known a Billy or two in our passing. I assume that you are young painting the picture you did with your words. He is a scavenger and is not good people. You need to pull out of that kind of space for sure. When dealing with your emotions with somebody, that's hard ground to travel. Not to mention the fact that with your person you're dealing with has 'displaced' emotions about you. Bad juju...(not a good thing). The fact that he 'gets' something from you and doesn't supply it in ANY RETURN is what makes him a scavenger. Then he trips and acts all mean and agressive to you and all that kiddie shit. He's got you all depressed at least to the point of a mere thought of suicide creepin' into your head. He's not that fine. Nobody is even if you do love them. And two years is 'nothing' when getting to know somebody. You did something together last summer and now you're doing something together again this summer. That's it.

    Some people you meet in your life are there just for a minute while others...stick. Enjoy the bad ones while you did and move along. Always look for the people that are going to treat you best wherever you go & whatever you do, u know? This guy makes you feel bad about just being you and that's not fair. Even moreso because you're doing it to yourself; you're enabling him to abuse you. Let him go. Act like he is invisible. He does not turn you on anymore. I don't care anything about him. I don't wanna know about him. That's the mindset that you need so your emotions don't get out of control while you're trying to gain control. Whatever your daily activities are you can easily move about without running into him or having to work with him or live close to him...blah, blah, blah. All you have to do is call a couple of people, make a few moves, are you're good.

    Wanting to attach your emotions is the best for relationships. But your predicament now is one-sided and thus unbalanced...it will fall. So, try to disassociate your horniness with him. Find somebody else to throw your horniness on. That's a matter of numbers. Not to sound ho-ish, but...LOL:biggrin1:

    Watch yo back. Make a move...out:cool:
     
    #19 8060, Oct 29, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2008
  20. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    Just wondering. what your relationship with your parents (or the person(s) ) who reared you is like today?
    Sometimes people act out, in constructive and/or destructive ways, to resolve issues from childhood.
    Childhood can then extend itself into young adult and adult life.

    I think you would benefit from from one-on-one counseling, augmenting your internet anonymity conversations.


    No one is worth ending your life for, and the one that is, won't drive you to it.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted