Dirty Limericks

[B_hungprepjock]

There was a Website for the penis
Whose moderation was heinous
The admins and mods
Were such inept sods
The members abandoned the anus!

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Some of the posts in this thread really are good.

 

[GeorgeTSLC]

"Dickheads and jerks needed bother even trying to converse with me as they do not enter my radar."
Shouldn't that be "needn't"? And does it HAVE to be quite that large as well as shocking pink? And in any case, do you really expect anyone to class HIMSELF as either a dickhead or a jerk?

Not that I have any intention of communication with you privately, mind . . .

 

[589189]

A habit obscene and unsavory,
holds the Bishop of Wessex in slavery.
With maniacal howls.
he deflowers, young Owls.
which he keeps in an underground Aviary.

From deep in the Crypt an St.Giles
comes a sound that resounds for mile.
"Good lord, good gracious.
has Father Ignatius....
forgotten the Vicar has piles?"

 

[Rammajamma771]

There was a man named MacAmeter
His tool was of prodigious diameter
But it wasn't the size
That caught everyone's eyes
It was his rhythm, iambic pentameter

Columbus had a cabin boy
He loved him like a brother
Every night
Beneath the deck
They corn-holed one another

Now Columbus' cabin boy
The dirty little nipper
Stuck some glass
Up his ass
And circumcised the Skipper

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

This one's not so much dirty as just gross ... works better with the British accent I first heard it in:

There once was a lady from Spain
Who got sick as she rode on a train
Not once, but again
And again and again
And again and again and again

And for pure vivid imagery:

There once was a man from Bonaire
Who was doing his wife on the stair
When the banister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair

 

[ghb69]

Not exactly a Limerick but a diddy from the 60's when the micro mini skirt appeared.


If skirts keep getting shorter,
And winds begin to blow.
There'll be two more cheecks to powder.
and one more spot to shave.