Ever had a peeping tom?

[MickeyLee]

What @AlteredEgo said.

That those words as gospel.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

What @AlteredEgo said.

That those words as gospel.

She has a wonderful habit of being completely fucking accurate. That nail gets fucking HAMMERED when her brain gets ahold of any topic.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I think I’m going to turn it on him: start watching him and filming his movements. Normally good advice on calling the police - thanks, unfortunately they’re overworked and underfunded, here in the UK. Unless there’s been an attempt on your life (and you’re also bleeding!), they won’t/can’t do anything. Even issuing a Public Order is futile because the cretins in government have been shutting down the courts so the legal system is in gridlock. @Tight_N_Juicy’s take on things woke me up. It’s ridiculous. Fuck these lunatics.

It's the same here regarding police, on top of that sometimes when you call American cops THEY end up fucking killing you.

But, I'd go to the station and put it on paper. Call them when he does it, even if they don't do anything in the moment. Get. A. Record. Just like the other ladies suggested.

Just trying to watch your back from another continent.

 

[LaFemme]

Do you have a gun or have you considered obtaining one?

I’m Canadian.

 

[LaFemme]

First of all you can’t post in this section as a male, you’ll get a warning for it. Only men who start threads can post here.

Secondly, no I would not be comfortable having a gun in my home. I was raised in a hunting family, but it’s not my thing in the city. Most people don’t own guns. They’re pretty rare, as are shootings.

 

[Luther2019]

First of all you can’t post in this section as a male, you’ll get a warning for it. Only men who start threads can post here.

Secondly, no I would not be comfortable having a gun in my home. I was raised in a hunting family, but it’s not my thing in the city. Most people don’t own guns. They’re pretty rare, as are shootings.

Oh, a male can't ask a woman a question in the "Ask a Woman" forum?

 

[1850231]

Peepers are always dangerous. I wasn't going to post, but I couldn't live with myself if I did not tell you that. Peepers always escalate to violence, if not with you, then with someone else he is watching. This is known about peepers.

The police won't help you, but tell them anyway. It will make things easier if you end up having to mortally injure him in self defense. Notify the police every time you catch him, even if they make it clear they are sick of hearing from you. I NEVER advocate asking the police for help. I am telling you to do so anyway. Again, not because they will help. Just to establish a paper trail. Record the calls. They won't write reports.

Statistically, he is likely to escalate. I would expect him to move to breaking and entering, or opening your window by any means to be able to move your curtains. This is just what they do. You MUST stop him at that point. They do not respond well to confrontation. A sturdy bat and a cocksure attitude paired with tough talk (avoid emasculating language) over the span of several confrontations at your dwelling will do the trick.

My cat injured my peeper, and he left me alone. But he turned onto my neighbor, so she and I defended her with the type of confrontation I described. We refused to back down. We just kept coming outside every time we saw him, each armed with a heavy, blunt object, and told him off. At first he ran away, just like the first time I caught him looking into my house. But then he talked back. We talked back meaner. He was less and less sure of himself, and eventually we never saw him again.

I did not know at the time what we did was what experts recommend. I learned that later watching television. We did what was instinctive to us, because the law was no help. They would not even so much as promise increased patrols. I do not claim to know about your jurisdiction, but NYPD was, and is, larger than several federal agencies, including the United States Coast Guard, and U.S. Border patrol. But they couldn't spare a single cop to just walk through our block after dark every once in a while.

No one in charge gives a fuck what happens to you. Many of the most heinous criminals get their start (and choose theor victims) via voyeurism. Unless he rapes or murders you, you're on your own. To be clear, peepers become rapists and murderers. That is what they do.

It is not harmless. You are not crazy. Until he chooses to fixate on someone easier to mess with, you are not safe.

I feel awful telling you that. I would feel worse not telling you.

Get a security system, look into teaching your dog to alert on suspicious noises, or at least pay attention to the direction of your dog's ears. Place melee weapons you feel comfortable with within reach, two or more in each room. In my house, there are dried flowers in champagne bottles. Cava, actually. Seguro Viudas Heredad. Huge metal base. Very pretty. But nobody wants me to beat his skull in with one. Decorative katanas over the fireplace. But one is real, and I know which. High end knives in the kitchen, honed after each use, sharpened to a devastating 18 degree edge. The 12" chef's knife is not with the others. I know where it lives. I know which spindle under the banister can be easily yanked out. I will pass all of these things and many more on my way to where my favorite pistol is kept. Plus. 3 dogs. One of them is aggressively possessive of me. One of them barks at every twig snap heard outside. We won't discuss the other one, but my cat is made entirely of hatred and spite. Set your house up as if you expect a home invasion, to be pushed deeper into your home. Choose every day items that can hide in plain sight, and obvious weapons. Keep something by your bed you think you can use well if you are awakened by someone at your bedside. I chose a battle hammer. Choose a security system with a duress protocol. If anyone forces me to disable my alarm, and I do so with the duress code, police are supposed to approach my house as a siege and hostage situation. No lights. No sirens.

I apologize if I'm frightening you. I am frightened for you.

*returns to radio silence*

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to share all of this. It’s insane what women have to do, to avoid violence. Absolutely insane. JFC, I’m sorry you endured such a dreadful situation... I don’t want to go into my story too much, but essentially, I was harassed by a man who lived in my building *for years* - it escalated from verbal abuse to spitting in my face, to trying to pull me down the stairs to actual threats to kill. When a man describes how he’s going to kill you, it’s serious. Whilst the police did act - I was told to call 999 (and there were 17 calls in the space of 8 months), they couldn’t do anything, other than confiscate the large knives stuck in the back of his front door and arrest him for the night, only to release him the next day... Even though he had been sectioned MORE THAN ONCE. Eventually, I moved (and I was the 3rd single woman in the block to move because of him....), but the impact that whole nightmare had on my mental health, is hard to quantify. In comparison, this guy *seems* harmless to me, even though he pisses me off. But you’re all absolutely right: I need to report him and keep a log. And tell others around me about him. God, it’s fucking tedious shit...

The trouble with living in condensed cities like London and New York is that there are a lot of absolute nutters living all over the place and if you’re single and female, you’re a target. The advice on here about my dog is really useful - she is super sharp and barks at the slightest noise. And yes, being aware of useful weapons and escape routes is key - to be honest, I’m already there. I know exactly what to do if someone breaks in - you can’t have a ground floor apartment without going through this line of thought.

Thank you so much. I’ll take this much more seriously.

 

[deleted848353]

Oh, a male can't ask a woman a question in the "Ask a Woman" forum?

Read the tos located at the bottom and it will answer your question but please do not respond anymore

 

[deleted848353]

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to share all of this. It’s insane what women have to do, to avoid violence. Absolutely insane. JFC, I’m sorry you endured such a dreadful situation... I don’t want to go into my story too much, but essentially, I was harassed by a man who lived in my building *for years* - it escalated from verbal abuse to spitting in my face, to trying to pull me down the stairs to actual threats to kill. When a man describes how he’s going to kill you, it’s serious. Whilst the police did act - I was told to call 999 (and there were 17 calls in the space of 8 months), they couldn’t do anything, other than confiscate the large knives stuck in the back of his front door and arrest him for the night, only to release him the next day... Even though he had been sectioned MORE THAN ONCE. Eventually, I moved (and I was the 3rd single woman in the block to move because of him....), but the impact that whole nightmare had on my mental health, is hard to quantify. In comparison, this guy *seems* harmless to me, even though he pisses me off. But you’re all absolutely right: I need to report him and keep a log. And tell others around me about him. God, it’s fucking tedious shit...

The trouble with living in condensed cities like London and New York is that there are a lot of absolute nutters living all over the place and if you’re single and female, you’re a target. The advice on here about my dog is really useful - she is super sharp and barks at the slightest noise. And yes, being aware of useful weapons and escape routes is key - to be honest, I’m already there. I know exactly what to do if someone breaks in - you can’t have a ground floor apartment without going through this line of thought.

Thank you so much. I’ll take this much more seriously.

There's nutters where I am in the uk. Also I'm sorry your going thru this maybe keep a diary of when he is peeping etc then recontact the police with the info

 

[Scarletbegonia]

1. Ask a *Someone* Forum Rules - In Addition to the above
   • Any member may start a thread, in any section of the forum
   • Any member may reply to their own thread started within any section of the forum
   • Aside from the the member who started the thread, only members who fall within the group named in the section title may respond to threads.
   • For the purposes of these sections, we consider bisexual to be 20/80 gay/straight or straight/gay.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to share all of this. It’s insane what women have to do, to avoid violence. Absolutely insane. JFC, I’m sorry you endured such a dreadful situation... I don’t want to go into my story too much, but essentially, I was harassed by a man who lived in my building *for years* - it escalated from verbal abuse to spitting in my face, to trying to pull me down the stairs to actual threats to kill. When a man describes how he’s going to kill you, it’s serious. Whilst the police did act - I was told to call 999 (and there were 17 calls in the space of 8 months), they couldn’t do anything, other than confiscate the large knives stuck in the back of his front door and arrest him for the night, only to release him the next day... Even though he had been sectioned MORE THAN ONCE. Eventually, I moved (and I was the 3rd single woman in the block to move because of him....), but the impact that whole nightmare had on my mental health, is hard to quantify. In comparison, this guy *seems* harmless to me, even though he pisses me off. But you’re all absolutely right: I need to report him and keep a log. And tell others around me about him. God, it’s fucking tedious shit...

The trouble with living in condensed cities like London and New York is that there are a lot of absolute nutters living all over the place and if you’re single and female, you’re a target. The advice on here about my dog is really useful - she is super sharp and barks at the slightest noise. And yes, being aware of useful weapons and escape routes is key - to be honest, I’m already there. I know exactly what to do if someone breaks in - you can’t have a ground floor apartment without going through this line of thought.

Thank you so much. I’ll take this much more seriously.

Jesus Christ on a cracker. I have lived with a large man for the last decade. I forgot how it can feel to (in my case) have it kown that you live with just an old lady.

When I was a young girl, an older boy on my street used to mumble in explicit detail threats to rape and mutilate me. I was afraid to tell anyone. I thought it was my fault he treated me that way, and I did not think he could pose a real danger. When I was in high school, he murdered a boy on the next block and let another boy go to prison for it. Good attorneys got the false conviction overturned. The murderer is still at large.

It is horrifying all that you have been through already, and that you are being targeted again. I feel awful that you had to move. I wish I lived near you. I would make that man sorry. I don't really experience fear on its own. Unless cockroaches or heights are involved, my fear is always tempered by rage. How dare these men insert themselves into your agenda and life?! How DARE they violate you in these ways?! I'm so angry on your behalf. I'm gonna go whoop my heavy bag's ass. You stay safe.

 

[1850231]

Jesus Christ on a cracker. I have lived with a large man for the last decade. I forgot how it can feel to (in my case) have it kown that you live with just an old lady.

When I was a young girl, an older boy on my street used to mumble in explicit detail threats to rape and mutilate me. I was afraid to tell anyone. I thought it was my fault he treated me that way, and I did not think he could pose a real danger. When I was in high school, he murdered a boy on the next block and let another boy go to prison for it. Good attorneys got the false conviction overturned. The murderer is still at large.

It is horrifying all that you have been through already, and that you are being targeted again. I feel awful that you had to move. I wish I lived near you. I would make that man sorry. I don't really experience fear on its own. Unless cockroaches or heights are involved, my fear is always tempered by rage. How dare these men insert themselves into your agenda and life?! How DARE they violate you in these ways?! I'm so angry on your behalf. I'm gonna go whoop my heavy bag's ass. You stay safe.

Don’t be angry. Seriously, I can handle myself. I’m not afraid of men, generally, because when you’re raised in a violent home you develop a six sense for trouble - I’m very good at reading body language and clocking weird shit people say, that others miss. (Like you, it seems?) I’ve travelled all over the world by myself - went to Cairo on my own aged 18 (and loved it!). The only reason that situation went on so long is because, as tenants, we had a legal case against him (which I believe is still ongoing...) and he would torment my 93 year old neighbour - also living on her own. I felt someone had to protect her. That is, until friends stepped when signs of a mental breakdown began to show. Then I got out. The trouble is, I tend to stand out - people notice me. And when you have a dog, the routine daily walks become apparent to anyone paying attention and that’s the problem. I just no longer play nice, if I don’t feel like it. I’m at that age women eventually get to, after dealing with one too many dickheads...

This interaction has been helpful - thank you for all the really insightful words of advice. I didn’t know “peeping toms” were dangerous, I’m going to both log his conduct and stare that muthafucker down. It’s total bullshit that I can’t use my garden because someone doesn’t know how to fucking behave.

 

[AlteredEgo]

The dogs I walk are large and fearless. They are young. My older dog is the small dog. She is my watchdog who barks at every noise. She barks like an 80 pound dog, for some reason, but she is 25 pounds. A puggle. I almost never walk her. She was taught to use a litter box. When I lived in Miami, there were times I was glad nobody ever saw me walking her. I take her outside only when she wants to go. About half the time she will stop at my car, indicating she does not want to actually be out, but go for a ride. She hates outside. She thinks she is a housecat. Anyway, there was a man I did not know in my breezeway. Sake started barking her face right off the second she heard I was not alone outside. We were still half a floor away from my apartment. As I approached my door, the man knocked on the door across. He said to me, "That's your killer?" When I confirmed, he asked what kind of dog I had, and named several large breeds. I did not correct him.

Now that I live in the suburbs, and I have my pit bulls, it is a little different. The younger one doesn't like for anyone to touch me. She doesn't become violent, but she does make her opinion that I belong to her known. I have seen her ready to fight when I screamed from being tickled. The older one is better trained, and sometimes allowed to come to answer the door with me. She is friendly and quiet. But most importantly, she is obedient. I have taught her to growl on command. I hope that if I ever need her to do it, she will have finally already learned not to immediately smile and say her tail after. Goofball. But for now, she sits still at my feet, 65 pounds of ripling muscle, while my puggle barks like a German shepherd upstairs. It is an intimidating combination. Whatever people wanted, I never do get to find out. They turn right around and leave.

I have not had to do that in a while though. My doorbell allows me to see people at my door and tell them to leave without having to even go to the door. Good. Fewer people will find out all my dogs are sweethearts who love new people.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Secondly, no I would not be comfortable having a gun in my home. I was raised in a hunting family, but it’s not my thing in the city. Most people don’t own guns. They’re pretty rare, as are shootings.

This is why I included tazer and pepper spray as options in my post, I respect that not everyone (particularly non American members) might not be at all comfortable having an actual firearm in the house.

Here? If my dogs don't take a motherfucker down and go for his throat I'm blowing a motherfucker away. All the way away.

 

[AlteredEgo]

This is why I included tazer and pepper spray as options in my post, I respect that not everyone (particularly non American members) might not be at all comfortable having an actual firearm in the house.

Here? If my dogs don't take a motherfucker down and go for his throat I'm blowing a motherfucker away. All the way away.

It is a firm policy that considering all my windows and doors are locked all the time, anyone found inside my home without invitation will never go home again. There will be no warning shots. There will be no opportunity to leave afforded. Me telling someone to leave ends on my lawns. I do not need to know what they wanted.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

It is a firm policy that considering all my windows and doors are locked all the time, anyone found inside my home without invitation will never go home again. There will be no warning shots. There will be no opportunity to leave afforded. Me telling someone to leave ends on my lawns. I do not need to know what they wanted.

My father raised me to live by: shoot first, and FUCK questions.

 

[LaFemme]

Guns aren’t really are a part of our lives here in Canada or the UK (as far as I know). Our intruders are less likely to be armed although they may have knives. I mean shootings do happen here, don’t get me wrong, but it’s far from a daily event. We don’t even have Mace. Bear spray is the closest thing we have, and I’m not sure it’s legal to carry on the street. I guess I could keep it by the bed, though. We do have a dog though and she does not like strangers. My bedroom is on the second floor with blackout curtains. My boy is over 6’ tall and pretty tough, so I feel pretty secure now.

From what I’ve read, document and call the police every time you catch peeper, even if they don’t do anything. Make it really uncomfortable for him to peep. So yes, talk to his landlord, embarrass him, whatever it takes. Do it before it escalates. Peepers can escalate to stealing underwear, and doing anything to get closer. Then rape, even murder.

I’ll never get why these guys think peeping is sexy. Upskirts, bathroom photos, stealing underwear is sexy. It’s not. I see the odd post here describing these behaviours and see danger written all over them. Even if it’s done man on man. It’s creepy, criminal, and disgusting.