Gay guys: do you learn to be a top or bottom?

[CuteGuyLondon]

OK, so all the research which came out the other week said that people are definitely born with their sexuality and its a physical difference in brain (BBC NEWS | Health | Scans see 'gay brain differences')
I don't think people here will be too surprised about that one..

So lets move the discussion along.. if you're a gay guy, do you think you are born a "bottom" or "top" (or versatile) or did you have some experience which decided it for you? Has anyone switched between being top or bottom during different stages of their life? If so, why? Or do you think if you're a bottom you're simply born to be "more submissive"?

 

[CUBE]

I believe the person you are with can make all the difference in this regard too. Some guys are always a top no matter what...and visa versa. I know a guy though that while not endowed at all...is just super masculine. He makes tops into bottoms in an instant...it just happens. Plus, not everyone who is a bottom is submissive. My best friend considers himself a bottom because he finds it to be a position of ultimate power. So what the general population thinks is going on between men is not a dynamic always easy to understand.

 

[viamanmax]

I am absolutly only interested in being a top, and I have never been at all interested in getting fucked so I feel like it is something that I have always been. This is an interesting question though.

 

[CUBE]

I also want to throw out there that I don't believe having anal sex is a homosexual position. It is a sexual position that any man can enjoy...or I guess a woman too but I don't know squat about chicks.

 

[MarkLondon]

And I also want to throw out there that not all gay men are into anal sex. I do resent that most gay internet sites try to force a choice of Active/Passive/Versatile and don't give an option of Neither.

I think that most people don't enjoy their first anal receptive experience, unless they are a submissive type, and have to learn to enjoy it.

It would seem that some straight/bi guys have learned to enjoy anal sex, either fucking their wife/gf's ass, or more rarely having their wife/gf's finger/dildo/strap-on up them.

Basically, I suppose I'm trying to separate the concepts of anal sex and gayness.

 

[Itsfomas]

Ive had some bad encounters with anal sex and i try to stray clear from it most times, the only time I tend to do it is when im drunk and I regret that in the mornings. I dont mind being on top but I dont like the feeling of being on bottom, it makes me sick... i dont know why i just dont like the feeling.

I will always be a top... as i say to my friends... i like to thrust. haha.

 

[mitchymo]

I am versatile but i prefer to top cos i do'nt find being pounded very pleasurable at all...if my partner was happy never to top then perfect they would be!

 

[Spax]

same here, don't consider myself submissive (or feminine) but am 100% bottom and like flame boy, my early fantasies were always of getting fucked. never had to learn to like it or adjust to it, it felt right and i knew while it was getting me off physically, being a bottom was a mental thrill as well, knowing i felt great to my lover and he would get off being inside me as well. When I wanted to 'top', found it more enjoyable to be with a woman.

 

[CuriousGuy]

Always a bottom, but have been told by more than one top that I "fucked" them

 

[inwait8]

Bottom
Love bottoming.. tried topping on several occasions and did not enjoy it. I love getting pounded way too much to try. Although I will say that versatile would be ideal as you might be missing a great guy just because you don't mesh sexually.

 

[eastbaydude]

What an ineresting post. I'm 40 years old and I have to say, this is the first time I ever heard this. I guess I just assumed that all gay guys did both - top and bottom. Sure, maybe you pick a favorite position once you get into a relationship, but thought you went back and forth.

I'm also really suprised that there are gay men who don't like anal at all.

I guess you learn something new every day. Thanks.

BTW, Cube, most girls who will do anal sex are doing it because their guy wants to do it. From my experience, most girls are not in love with it. And, I think str8 guys do anal because it's so damn tight, a little taboo, and a affords a sense of power over the girl. Just my thought.

 

[EuroboyUS]

While I have topped and I will do it with the right guy if I'm horny enough, I am much happier bottoming. I do think it's an inherent characteristic. When I'm horny I can actually feel it in my ass. It's like my hole becomes the center of all my sexual energy and it actually needs to be stretched to relieve the feeling. No amount of wanking and cuming can satisfy me if my ass is horny.

Also, I have to agree with some of the other posters. I don't think that bottoming has a lot to do with submission. I hate the term "passive" to describe bottoms...I am a very active bottom - there is nothing passive about it!

 

[BIGDP]

I'm 47 now. When I was younger...in my 20's, I was a total bottom. As I've grown older, I like to top more. I have a nice sized dick, and am able to satisfy most men I fuck.

Bottom line...it really depends on the person I'm taking to bed. I can go either way, but more and more, I like to be on top.

Thanks, everyone, for all the posts, and have a great evening.

(Christ -- I've got to change my Avatar!)
DP

 

[MuscledHorse]

When I first started having sex I tried both with my bud. I found I love bein bottom a lot more, though like the poster above complaining about the whole active/passive labeling, it's faulty since I'm a very agressive bottom; nothing passive about me.

 

[Industrialsize]

I've always been a bottom........I have NEVER topped someone....I guess I'm just not wired that way......I didn't have to "learn: anything, just came naturally

 

[iamanne]

most girls who will do anal sex are doing it because their guy wants to do it. From my experience, most girls are not in love with it.

There is an exception to every rule, I suppose. I enjoy anal. Will ask for it, and have been turned down.

(Hope my posting here, being female, isn't considered crashing this thread)

 

[B_VinylBoy]

I don't usually engage in anal sex that much. I'm much more of the oral type and love giving or receiving it. But when it does happen, I usually let the person dictate the pace. That way if they want to be the top or the bottom I can adjust accordingly. I've had much pleasure doing either.

One of my friends used to joke about those who are 100% Top or 100% Bottom. It's rather funny (yet kinda insulting at the same time) so I won't go into detail about it. I never really understood it myself, for I would think that most men would like to sample the goods on both sides to some degree. There's just some people I walk up to and instantly think, "I want to fuck you" or, "I want you to fuck me". It's never been the same way for every single person I find myself attracted to. The only thing that does remain constant is that I'd want to put my tongue on their balls, and hope they'd return the favor.

 

[dirtydvd]

As a straight male (probably better described as a bi-curious male), I actually really enjoy anal sex..... as a bottom! My wife regularly uses a strap on on me and I enjoy it. The only thing that I cannot seem to do is accommodate a "realistic" dildo, only the small slim types. I'd really like to play with her with a realistic cock strapped on. Any hints on how I can take a bigger toy?

 

[Chrisak]

As a straight male (probably better described as a bi-curious male), I actually really enjoy anal sex..... as a bottom! My wife regularly uses a strap on on me and I enjoy it. The only thing that I cannot seem to do is accommodate a "realistic" dildo, only the small slim types. I'd really like to play with her with a realistic cock strapped on. Any hints on how I can take a bigger toy?

hey Sorry for askin but this subject of wife strappin-on for husband always made me curious how did u tell ur wife that u wanna get fucked how did she react to it, does she enjoy it ??

 

[dirtydvd]

She regularly used a finger on me and tried a very small vibe once. I bought a strap on that has a vibrating egg on the inside so it gets her off as well. One night I got her pretty drunk and pulled it out and she was good to go. Since then, it's been sweet,,,