hmmm... great topic
well, i guess i have to say that i fully came to terms with my sexuality this winter, about 3 months ago.
i've always known that i was attracted to men, but then again, i have always been different from the norm, so i couldnt tell if it was a sign of my sexuality or something else.
since i was 9 ive been dancing, and right now im balancing working through a tough selective high school located at a local university and being a member of a full dance company, performing professionally in the area. since im kind of diverse in that i am a school dork and at the same time a dance and theater crazed person, i just thought that whatever feelings i had were another weird attribute or something.
i didnt know if my interest in dance (and my strong interest in theater) was just an explination for some of my feminine qualities -i thought that maybe being around so many girls all my life had taught me to notice guys more or something.
like many other young members of this site, i lied about my age to sign up. i know that i probably shouldnt have, but the discussions here helped immensly while i was coming to terms with it.
ive always been a member of the GSA at my schools and its never been an issue for me, i just didnt really think i actually was gay.
the biggest factor was that in october my best friend came out to me. soon after, we jerked off together a few times and he ended up sucking me. from then on i knew that it was more than a "learning experience."
i came out to myself and to my parents over new years, and of course none of them were surprised, in fact, my dad said that hes been waiting for me to tell him this for the last 4 years, which i thought was funny.
last month, i met my first boyfriend. we are great together and now there is no question in my mind as to whether or not i am gay. its one of those things that makes you realize that everything you are doing is right, and that nothing is awkward or weird, like all of my relationships with girls had been.
the hardest part so far has been seeing my boyfriend suffer hate and discrimination from his step mom. once she found out about me, she erased my cell phone number from his, screen his calls, took away his computer, and is now fighting for his dad to have full custody of his rather than splitting the week between his dad and his mom's house. his mom is really supportive, and at this point she is the only person standing up for him. if his step mom wins, then basically i wont be able to see him again until he goes to college.
so basically even though coming out was easy for me, seeing it backfire on someone you love and care about is one of the most painful and horrible experiences ever.
i know that thsi is a long post, but i kind of had to tell that all since its been a while since i posted anything on this site, and a LOT has changed since my last entry.
and also, its late and i am sleep deprived, so i am sure that all of these sentences are run ons and they dont make any sense, so i am sorry to anyone that might be an english teacher or something, i swear that im better than this in school...
anywho- basically sometimes is harder to have to see someone else come out than having to come out for yourself. it was this way for me, and i know its like this for others too.