Homosexuality

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Wow Suferboy - too bad more people don't have parents as understanding as your parents...My mum I am sure would be understanding If I had been in a similar situation - my mum has always been like a 2nd mum to her best friend's gay sons when they're mum wasn't as understanding...You are lucky mon...Plus you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders - you will do great things...

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

My parents were like that, they told me that if I worked out I was gay, they didnt mind, they would be a little put out that the family name was going to die (I have quite a rare last name) but they wouldnt really mind, nor cast me out nor change their opinion of me at all.

For a while they thought I was, and kept dropping massive hints that it was Ok to come out with it, which, I made a ponit in ignoreing.

TBH I still havent figured out things for myself, there are days when I wake up and can only look at guys, and days I wake up and can only look at girls....

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by SomeGuyOverThere@Feb 16 2005, 02:21 PM
My parents were like that, they told me that if I worked out I was gay, they didnt mind, they would be a little put out that the family name was going to die (I have quite a rare last name) but they wouldnt really mind, nor cast me out nor change their opinion of me at all.

For a while they thought I was, and kept dropping massive hints that it was Ok to come out with it, which, I made a ponit in ignoreing.

TBH I still havent figured out things for myself, there are days when I wake up and can only look at guys, and days I wake up and can only look at girls....

[post=283645]Quoted post[/post]​

Totally can relate to you here...Yeah - I have some family members that throw out some hints especially since I have not bought a girl to meet them in a couple of years but that is not the reason - I just don't live near my family and I am really selective who I let meet the family...But definitely I do know I have an attraction to guys sometimes but totally still wrapped up w/females - and personally can see myself settling down and having some kids some day but way later - still having fun...Plus I really realized that I don't like to limit myself - even by sexuality...

 

[surferboy]

Originally posted by SomeGuyOverThere@Feb 16 2005, 01:21 PM
My parents were like that, they told me that if I worked out I was gay, they didnt mind, they would be a little put out that the family name was going to die (I have quite a rare last name) but they wouldnt really mind, nor cast me out nor change their opinion of me at all.

For a while they thought I was, and kept dropping massive hints that it was Ok to come out with it, which, I made a ponit in ignoreing.

TBH I still havent figured out things for myself, there are days when I wake up and can only look at guys, and days I wake up and can only look at girls....

[post=283645]Quoted post[/post]​

There's no reason to stop the family blood line and name brah. Surrogate mothers are way common.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Originally posted by surferboy+Feb 16 2005, 06:54 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(surferboy &#064; Feb 16 2005, 06:54 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-SomeGuyOverThere@Feb 16 2005, 01:21 PM
My parents were like that, they told me that if I worked out I was gay, they didnt mind, they would be a little put out that the family name was going to die (I have quite a rare last name) but they wouldnt really mind, nor cast me out nor change their opinion of me at all.

For a while they thought I was, and kept dropping massive hints that it was Ok to come out with it, which, I made a ponit in ignoreing.

TBH I still havent figured out things for myself, there are days when I wake up and can only look at guys, and days I wake up and can only look at girls....

[post=283645]Quoted post[/post]​

There&#39;s no reason to stop the family blood line and name brah. Surrogate mothers are way common.

[post=283657]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]
Yah, but I dont think Im into blokes enough to prohibit me from settling at some point.

 

[jonb]

It&#39;s doublethink: "Family values" involves disowning your children if they fall in love with a member of the same sex.

So, to any parents, don&#39;t kvetch: A gay man can still perform with a woman, adopt children, or go in for reproductive technologies. Lesbians can still perform with men, adopt children, or go in for reproductive technologies. Your family lines are safe. If you can&#39;t deal, I&#39;m sorry, but your lack of emotional attachment indicates that you should&#39;ve never had children; the current economic paradigm favors dinks anyway.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

I guess it is really how your parents were raised...I am really surprised my mum turned out as cool as she did...My grandmother was very religous and strict when my mum was younger - I mean my mum was 18 and still had to come home after school and not allowed to leave the yard until my grandmother got home...I swear I believe my mum married my dad to only get out of the house...Grams is not much more laid back in her older years - I mean now when I went home for Thanksgiving one year w/a girlfriend - we were allowed to sleep in the same bed which shocked the hell out of me - I think they were trying to hint that I should get married and it didn&#39;t help that my brother who is a year older than I announced that he was going to marry his girlfriend that weekend...My girlfriend looked at me like I was going to propose too - told her it aint going to happen...

 

[Dr Rock]

no offense, but I find the idea that anyone should need, or be somehow obliged, to "deal with" their own sexuality to be kind of ridiculous. I mean I can&#39;t speak for anyone else, but I&#39;ve have never had a problem with the fact that I enjoy sex with guys as well as girls, and similarly I&#39;ve never cared a toss if anyone else has a problem with it - it&#39;s their problem, and/or society&#39;s problem, not mine. it&#39;s actually nothing to do with anyone else who you have sex with, and anyone else&#39;s opinions on the subject - including those of your friends, family or whoever - are ultimately completely irrelevant.

as far as my own sex life goes (I make no claim to speak for anyone else), I don&#39;t find gender to be a valid basis for deciding who I can have sex with. I can&#39;t "identify" with being "gay" or "straight" just because society seems to want to tag me for convenience. I prefer to appreciate men as men and women as women in their own right, and I ain&#39;t gonna be ashamed of that, sorry.

people also really like to "play the sexuality card" as an excuse to prop up their own egos - I&#39;ve had girls accuse me of being gay, and guys accuse me of being straight, purely because I didn&#39;t want to have sex with them for whatever reason. honestly, I neither know nor care whether I&#39;m "technically" gay or straight by any standards at all - but I DO know that I resent it when people try to stick labels on me for the sake of their own insecurity.

apologies if that came across as something of a rant, but I&#39;m kinda tired of all the moralizing socio-political nonsense that the media loves to fling around regarding sexuality. no criticism of the posters themselves is intended (unless you&#39;re an asshole )

 

[surferboy]

It&#39;s our soceity that forces us to "deal with" our sexualities. I totally agree with ya, we shouldn&#39;t have to. You also sound like me brah. I don&#39;t believe gender to be a deciding factor. I&#39;ve said it all over this site, I&#39;m not hetero-, homo- or bisexual, I&#39;m just sexual. I believe at the core, that&#39;s how all humans are. However, we live in a soceity where everything must be clearly defined as according to the big guys. Which is way wrong. But like, it&#39;s great to know there&#39;s someone out there that shares my opinion on this&#33;

 

[txquis]

I understand that some of my younger friends sometimes do not understand my generation and those before, having to "deal with" their sexuality.

That is because they are living now, not when i was young.
I&#39;m "crowding 40" as they say...
and i think anyone over 35 years of age remembers when homosexuality was completely hush-hush....Gay people were not open.

The only gay characters i saw on television were not called "gay" but they were
effeminate men people laughed at like Paul Lynde on BEWITCHED and or Charles Nelson Reilly on MATCH GAME. If film depicted homosexuality, there was always a sad ending for the gay character...(the wonderful documentary THE CELLULOID CLOSET tells this much better than i can here).

My youth was before the internet...before satellite and cable tv....before vcrs, let alone dvd.
That was my childhood.
Porn was a magazine you had to go buy or a film you had to sneak into
a theater to see...and sex was not as open a subject.

How in the world would i have known how to deal with liking guys when there was
nowhere to turn?
If you lived in a rural area as I did, you didnt know what to do with it.

Add family pressures, and not wanting to be "different"...and you can see why
so many in *my* generation did not deal with it in a snap.
I didnt begin dealing with it until i was almost 24 years old...and it took a long
time even after being with guys for me to be comfortable.

I think that the current generation is luckier in certain regards...they have more available to them,
more information, more SUPPORT, and more opportunity to know that they are ok, and not alone.
I envy that.

 

[dcwrestlefan]

i&#39;m sort of envious of people who can go both ways. but except for an urge to pro create with a m/f couple once a year, i very much prefer guys.

hey tx, you forgot miss jane hathaway on the beverly hillbillies. tv&#39;s first lesbian. ;-)

 

[Dr Rock]

Originally posted by txquis@Feb 17 2005, 08:00 PM
I understand that some of my younger friends sometimes do not understand my generation and those before, having to "deal with" their sexuality.

That is because they are living now, not when i was young.

understood, and I should probably have qualified my statement in those terms. I realize the majority of people now have a less prejudicial outlook than the majority of people 25 years ago. the fact remains that it was still THEIR problem they were inflicting on you, not vice versa. I&#39;m not judging the past by present standards here, I&#39;m judging it all by MY standards -_-

 

[jonb]

I was saying that if parents actually treat their kids like the black sheep, they don&#39;t love their child. Nothing more, nothing less. I won&#39;t lie to anyone here; if you&#39;re gay, there are people out there who will hate you because of it, but ultimately, "beard" relationships are unfair to both partners.

For anyone whose parents can&#39;t deal, just draw on retro imagery, and, in your best James Dean voice, say "YOU&#39;RE TEARIN&#39; ME APART&#33;"

 

[lapdog2001]

txquis wrote

The only gay characters i saw on television were not called "gay" but they were effeminate men people laughed at like Paul Lynde on BEWITCHED and or Charles Nelson Reilly on MATCH GAME.

Paul Lynde and Charlles Nelson Reilly are GAY? Holy Shit&#33; I never knew that&#33;
Next you&#39;ll be telling me that the Village People are gay too&#33;

Seriously, I had no idea about any of the above when I was younger&#33;
Times change&#33;

dcwrestlefan wrote

hey tx, you forgot miss jane hathaway on the beverly hillbillies. tv&#39;s first lesbian. ;-)

Her too??? :lol:

LapDog

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by txquis@Feb 17 2005, 08:00 PM
The only gay characters i saw on television were not called "gay" but they were
effeminate men people laughed at like Paul Lynde on BEWITCHED and or Charles Nelson Reilly on MATCH GAME.

Don&#39;t forget Dr. Smith on Lost In Space&#33;

I never questioned my sexuality. By the time I really worked out the difference between &#39;gay&#39; and &#39;straight&#39;, I was already sexually active. I somehow never felt the need to hide it, which is probably strange, giving the Latino ideal of machismo. And my parents accepted it when I came out to them when I was fifteen. My family accepts it; my friends accept it. They&#39;re who I care about. I never came to a definitive point where I had to &#39;deal with it&#39;. I just always accepted it as fact.

 

[jonb]

"Active" being the key word. I don&#39;t know about Cuba, but in Mexico, bottoms are considered whores. I guess because sacred transvestites among the Aztecs would more often take the passive role; in addition to being effeminate, they were pagan.

 

[ziggity]

well i&#39;m only "half gay" you could say.. but i&#39;m definitely still dealing with it right now. my first major career choice (the USMC) is definitely not conducive to my guy-guy tendencies. it worries me, because i want both so badly. it&#39;s very much a situation in which i <s>can&#39;t</s> am not allowed to have my cake and eat it too.

but gawd knows there are a LOT of cute, gay, hard bodies in our great military.. it&#39;s almost inevitable that i&#39;ll take the risk at some point.

 

[Dr Rock]

ahh, don&#39;t feel bad about it. I dunno about the USMC, but here there&#39;s a consistent and very traditional gay "underground" culture in the forces. it&#39;s never considered acceptable to actually talk about it, which I guess is similar to the "don&#39;t ask, don&#39;t tell" policy, but everyone silently acknowledges it anyway. I took full advantage during my time in the army (and believe me, with some of the godforsaken places they send you in this country, it&#39;s a goddamn necessity probably even for the straight guys :blink

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I know from personal experience that there are more than a few Marines out there who like taking it up the ass. As long as you&#39;re not caught doing it, the Corps is not really too concerned about it.

 

[dancinfool]

hmmm... great topic


well, i guess i have to say that i fully came to terms with my sexuality this winter, about 3 months ago.

i&#39;ve always known that i was attracted to men, but then again, i have always been different from the norm, so i couldnt tell if it was a sign of my sexuality or something else.

since i was 9 ive been dancing, and right now im balancing working through a tough selective high school located at a local university and being a member of a full dance company, performing professionally in the area. since im kind of diverse in that i am a school dork and at the same time a dance and theater crazed person, i just thought that whatever feelings i had were another weird attribute or something.

i didnt know if my interest in dance (and my strong interest in theater) was just an explination for some of my feminine qualities -i thought that maybe being around so many girls all my life had taught me to notice guys more or something.


like many other young members of this site, i lied about my age to sign up. i know that i probably shouldnt have, but the discussions here helped immensly while i was coming to terms with it.

ive always been a member of the GSA at my schools and its never been an issue for me, i just didnt really think i actually was gay.

the biggest factor was that in october my best friend came out to me. soon after, we jerked off together a few times and he ended up sucking me. from then on i knew that it was more than a "learning experience."

i came out to myself and to my parents over new years, and of course none of them were surprised, in fact, my dad said that hes been waiting for me to tell him this for the last 4 years, which i thought was funny.

last month, i met my first boyfriend. we are great together and now there is no question in my mind as to whether or not i am gay. its one of those things that makes you realize that everything you are doing is right, and that nothing is awkward or weird, like all of my relationships with girls had been.


the hardest part so far has been seeing my boyfriend suffer hate and discrimination from his step mom. once she found out about me, she erased my cell phone number from his, screen his calls, took away his computer, and is now fighting for his dad to have full custody of his rather than splitting the week between his dad and his mom&#39;s house. his mom is really supportive, and at this point she is the only person standing up for him. if his step mom wins, then basically i wont be able to see him again until he goes to college.


so basically even though coming out was easy for me, seeing it backfire on someone you love and care about is one of the most painful and horrible experiences ever.


i know that thsi is a long post, but i kind of had to tell that all since its been a while since i posted anything on this site, and a LOT has changed since my last entry.

and also, its late and i am sleep deprived, so i am sure that all of these sentences are run ons and they dont make any sense, so i am sorry to anyone that might be an english teacher or something, i swear that im better than this in school...


anywho- basically sometimes is harder to have to see someone else come out than having to come out for yourself. it was this way for me, and i know its like this for others too.