In one word: ouch

[kinggalaxia]

Just this morning, I finally started experimenting with my boyfriend towards anal sex. We have everything ready, tools wise..and the moment was right in starting us off (we're both virgins).

Well, I tried sitting on him a little and managed to get his head in....then the girth kicked in against my hole. Just so ya know, he's 8" x 6+"...

....Seconds later, I was repeating 'ouch, omg' while making painful faces. :lol:
I know I should be serious but this was a try out and I NEVER felt a sharp pain like that *shakes head* I'm usually a silly guy anyway, hence the weird faces.

I know my big mistakes here were
a. not using lube
b. we were pressed for time. we need a whole night w/o a worry for either of us the next day (he had finals to do in under 8 hours)

SO....I know I have to use lube, yes.....but anyone have some nice advice for me to use in future attempts?

Thanks!!

 

[KinkGuy]

Use lube. Lots of foreplay. And DON'T take a cock up your ass for the first time with a time limit. It's HIS job to get you preped and ready. For God's sake, this is monumental.........act like it and give it the proper respect it deserves or just forget it.

 

[kinggalaxia]

*ears go flat and backs into corner* okay...sorry...

 

[KinkGuy]

stop it. The point I am trying to make, is that gifting someone with your ass for the first time needs to be right. Not a hey, "take my virginity" before you run off to study situation. Make it right and enjoy it. Now, get the fuck out of the corner.

 

[kinggalaxia]

Gotcha.

Reading your response a few times, ya make sense.

But as I said, we weren't taking it all the way. Basically a warm-up, if you will.

 

[ashlar]

Lots of foreplay and sometimes a good rimjob beforehand helps too


Have fun and take it slow ... but mostly have fun

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: In the porn stories it's always "it hurt for a moment but then felt wonderful." I've known a few people who claimed that this was the case but real life is seldom so kind. You both need to be prepared for the possibility that you may take your time, do everything right and still not be able at first. Lube between the legs can be handy if it comes to that. Patience and practice WILL pay off.

With a 6+" girth I don't really know what sort of "warm up" you're thinking of, just the head is going to be tough.

Personally, I had a really rough time at first but love it now.

http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/analrule.html

"When a finger, object or penis is intorduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort.

Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire."

 

[Child_of_the_sun]

all I can say is LUBE LUBE LUBE! even if it was just playing that is just crazy! a guy I know was trying to have lubeless sex with a girl he had picked up and hes very thick, when he pulled out of her the sphyncter got so tight it ripped off a part of his foreskin... no lube is not a joke its just plain dangerous! and I must say for a dick that thick I agree with that rimjob is a great idea, fingering and lots and lots of LUBE man! B)

 

[kinggalaxia]

Wow! That link really has some nice information.

Nah, his shaft's thicker than his head. The head was in before the pain hit me.

And I see where my hard part is in this....relieving myself of anxiety, so that the internal sphincter can be voluntarily controlled.

*nods* this helps, carolina. Thank you!! ^_^

 

[kinggalaxia]

Originally posted by Child_of_the_sun@Dec 17 2004, 09:57 AM
all I can say is LUBE LUBE LUBE! even if it was just playing that is just crazy! a guy I know was trying to have lubeless sex with a girl he had picked up and hes very thick, when he pulled out of her the sphyncter got so tight it ripped off a part of his foreskin... no lube is not a joke  its just plain dangerous! and I must say for a dick that thick I agree with that rimjob is a great idea, fingering and lots and lots of LUBE man!  B)

[post=267784]Quoted post[/post]​

oh I know now about the lube. Just a lil dab of it and I was able to get in my 7" vibrator during a solo prep session.

He don't like rimjobs, regrettably...but I heard they're mind-blowing :lol:
maybe I can convince him otherwise in the future, but for the first times, no tongue will be used on either ass -_-

 

[13788]

Herble: In my experience, I can't take a finger in my ass even with lube, BUT,...Ashlar (my bf ) is huge and I need plenty of lube. It hurts initially for a few minutes but after the head is in and my ass relaxes around it, it feels fine. I have also noticed that If I have a hardon while he does it it doesn't hurt but as soon as I cum, the pain sets in. Anyhow, That's my 2 cents lol

 

[13788]

iluvmybigman: Well........I'm not homosexual but hey, everyone has an ass! :lol: As everyone said lube, lube, lube....... but I think that you also need to do a few other things. Relax is a big one. If you tense up anticipating pain or a twinge, immediately that spinxter muscle will tighten up as if it were a penis hitting cold air! :lol: So you need to be very, very relaxed. The other thing is, you need to not think of this as having to take it "all in" in one night. If you can only get the tip and an inch in before it hurts too bad to relax, then fine. Have him stroke in and out so that you can stretch the muscle more. Don't push it. I would try that a couple of times in the day til to get you stretched to take more. Then the next time, try to go a little bit further and then stay there. Hopefully, in a day or so, you can get it all in with a minimum of discomfort til it feels good. But I would say you need to attempt it every day or other day for a short time or you will lose the stretch, if that makes sense?

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: Glad you liked the info. I thought of this, it may be obvious or it may have been in that link I sent, but the thing to remember is to push out. At first, everything is counterintuitive: you're trying to let him 'in', so why would you push 'out'. Tightening up may seem like you are holding him in but in reality you will force him out and cause yourself instant spasms and lots of pain. The thing to remember will be to push out and when you get hit with a spasm get back to that 'push out' mindset fast.

LATER, you will get into advanced techniques and use that muscle for his and your pleasure, but at first don't even think about it, just try to stay loose and relaxed.

There really is a lot to be said for a gentle anal massage until you open up, then partially inserting AND HOLDING STILL, this will cause your inner sphincter to relax, and then hopefully you'll be grabbing his ass and pulling him in.

There may be a totally different sort of pain with full insertion, for now it's a "Dr. It hurts when I do this situation."


What do they put in the water up in PA? You, tripod, ashlar, herbie and I think I noticed a third guy in the same TOWN as ashlar and herbie the other day.

 

[kinggalaxia]

:lol: the water's just fine, man. 'member, it's Tripod and ashlar with the gifts

but yeah....we're close to each other. Me & Tripod might meet up w/ ashlar & herbie. Not for play, of course, but to hang out, go shopping or whatever ^_^

again, nice info. I just have to process and remember it ^^;;

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: I don't know, "something in the water" may even be one of the comments mentioned in the "things your tired of people asking" thread. I knew you and herbie weren't huge. I guess I was just thinking about how lucky for you two couples to be young, have found someone, and dealing with such "problems".

(I know, it really can be a REAL problem, I've even been there myself but I still can't help but have a bit of "We should all be so lucky")

'Child of the Sun' that is just the cutest picture ever in your avatar. I love it.

 

[Child_of_the_sun]

carolina: thank you!

 

[ashlar]

I agree that Child of The Sun definitly has a high adoreability factor

 

[13788]

Herble: I agree as well

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

me three -- the Icelandic part just makes it all the more fun.

 

[13788]

Herble:

Originally posted by Hung Muscle@Dec 18 2004, 01:18 PM
me three -- the Icelandic part just makes it all the more fun.

[post=267958]Quoted post[/post]​

Oui Je suis d'accord