JL King downlow bisexuality

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blkbro510

blkbro510

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Good evening everyone, I'm hoping that we can converse on this topic of downlow men aka bisexuality.

But before we start lets have the ground rules:

1. Respect everyone that replies and be respectful on how you reply back. If someone says something on purpose to get a raise, please take the high road! It's easier being an azz, it takes work being a class (act)!

2. If someone doesn't know what you are talking about, then by all means explain some more. We all have our on mindsets, we are thinking out the box,we need the collective different mindsets of everyone. I don't want group think so it's okay to think and share something that we are missing or don't see.

3. If you come a cross a link or a site, please post it. Alot of you know me as the informational finder, but I don't want folks to wait for the weekend for me to find things. LOL! So just post it please.

So this is why I'm writing this. I've come a crossed a very scary thing on youtube. This guy is selling a dvd to women on how to tell if their men are on the "down low". This is from NY times best selling author JL King Here's video 1 YouTube - Top 10 Signs of Down Low Behavior and more... and here's video 2 YouTube - Top 10 Signs of Down Low Behavior (II)

You'll be amazed at the other videos on youtube I've found about this issue and alot of it is not pretty, but please lets focus on JL King because he's actually selling witch hunting material!

Now before anyone says that black folks can't tell their own DL story in a nice romatic way Brokeback Mountain, there's a wonderful movie call the DL Chronicles and I've found you guys to watch it. Here's the link: Watch The DL Chronicles Online - Full Episodes of The DL Chronicles & More TV Shows Online with blinkx Remote

It's broken into 4 parts, different stories (the thug one is not my favorite I just didn't get it ) but see it for yourself.


I've also found a great blog: BI LIKE ME

(ya'll know I bring in the visionals!)


And in all actuality downlow is the informal word for bisexuality so it does include anyone and everyone from any and every race and gender.

The question I have is it different for black men to actually have a sexual perference of choice? Are we never allowed to venture off or come back from sexual ventures without shame. Is it easier for white men do it? Does other men of color have the same issue.

How about women? Is it easier for you?
 
blkbro510 said:
And in all actuality downlow is the informal word for bisexuality so it does include anyone and everyone from any and every race and gender.
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Really? :confused: Cause I thought it just applied to black men.

The question I have is, is it different for black men to actually have a sexual perference of choice?
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I don't think I understand what you mean by sexual preference of choice?

Are we never allowed to venture off or come back from sexual ventures without shame.
Venture off? You mean cheat with someone of the same sex? No, you aren't allowed to do that. :rolleyes: :duh:
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But I think the negative vibe you sense is because some bisexual people are scared to come out and be honest with their partners. So, let's say you have a gf and you are exclusive, things are totally copasetic, but you miss sucking cock. Maybe an old buddy comes into town and you two hook up, it's just a little 69'g so you figure why mention it. Or you do mention it to her and she flips out because she had no clue you were 'like that.'

Is it easier for white men do it? Does other men of color have the same issue. How about women? Is it easier for you?
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IMHO In America, bisexuality is like obesity. It's the last acceptable prejudice to have. :frown1: I think that some white cultures are more accepting of homosexuality, and thus bisexuality. Black and Hispanic or Latino cultures tend to be very macho for lack of a better word. Men are supposed to be manly, okay thats sounds dumb. :redface::tongue: Black men aren't allowed to have a soft side or an affectionate side publicly. You rarely see a black man in the movies loving a woman. You see black men fucking, but rarely in those tender moments. :frown1::mad:
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My only problem with the 'YouTube' videos is that they are just teasers. They don't tell you what to look for. :mad:
 


Really? :confused: Cause I thought it just applied to black men.

Writer Raymond Craver-white, bisexual, his wife kinda knew about the he had affairs or went out looking for instant hook ups with guys while they were on vacations. What I notice is that EVERYONE-no matter what race- has similar issues, but at the same time we put up these lables to seperate us and just feel alone with it. I know this is happening in other races. This can't be just a black issue because its namedly differently

I don't think I understand what you mean by sexual preference of choice?
What I mean by sexual preference, can a black, brown or anyother man of color truely stand between the line of loving men and women. Can he fall in love with a woman one day, a man the next, and back with a woman afterwards.
Are we never allowed to venture off or come back from sexual ventures without shame.
Venture off? You mean cheat with someone of the same sex? No, you aren't allowed to do that. :rolleyes: :duh:
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But I think the negative vibe you sense is because some bisexual people are scared to come out and be honest with their partners. So, let's say you have a gf and you are exclusive, things are totally copasetic, but you miss sucking cock. Maybe an old buddy comes into town and you two hook up, it's just a little 69'g so you figure why mention it. Or you do mention it to her and she flips out because she had no clue you were 'like that.'

But dosen't that happen to straight people or just in relationsh anyway? I had a girlfriend who was prued, and before her I had strippers-so even though my exes offered me some action I had to decline because I was in a relationship. Couldn't the same standard for respect with in committed relationship there reguardless that he or she is bisexual


IMHO In America, bisexuality is like obesity. It's the last acceptable prejudice to have. :frown1: I think that some white cultures are more accepting of homosexuality, and thus bisexuality. Black and Hispanic or Latino cultures tend to be very macho for lack of a better word. Men are supposed to be manly, okay thats sounds dumb. :redface::tongue: Black men aren't allowed to have a soft side or an affectionate side publicly. You rarely see a black man in the movies loving a woman. You see black men fucking, but rarely in those tender moments. :frown1::mad:

Interesting point! Now here's a question for you all. Is hyper masculity < pro athl., rappers and pimps for example> actually being masculine?
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Okay, I have some time to give so I will get on my soap box.


IMHO, I believe that it is not a cultural issue but a moral/religious issue. Just because the term DL is in the African American (Black) lexicon does not give the Black community ownership of the issue. Black Moralist has taken up the cause as a Black issue while the White community has gone about life &#8220;business as usual.&#8221; Why is that White people call it an affair and Black people call it the DL? STUPID [in the voice of Carlos Mencia].


Two Congressmen, one in the airport and one with the Congressional Pages, were married White males having sex with males. The Pastor who had the mega church and had to step down because his trick that he got high with &#8220;outed&#8221; him was White. However, we saw no use of the term &#8220;DL.&#8221; They were labeled as gay. One of the reasons I hate labels; why do alleged straight people who have issues with their sexuality get labeled gay when I am perfectly comfortable with my sexuality? Excuse my rant and no offense to straight people. I just hate it when &#8220;right wing or conservative&#8221; operatives attempt to move their problems (people who identify as being straight) over to the gay side.


Ignorance about sexuality is what drives the stigma. Men of all sexual persuasions who are not open about their sexual appetites incur the wrath of their partners when they find out the truth, a lot of times. It takes a mature couple to understand that they may at one time or another realizes that they have different sexual needs. Life is about compromise, you do it or you don&#8217;t.


A lot, not all (and I repeat, not all) Black females believe that any man that has sex with another man is not a man. Some have evolved to the point that they can accept that it has happened in the past (it was just a phase). However, in the case of Terry McMillan (Waiting to Exhale & How Stella Got Her Groove Back) she needs serious therapy. She accepted the fact that her husband had been with other men and he made a promise to her that he would not go back to that. However, he went go back, which is considered the &#8220;DL.&#8221;


When I lost respect for her is when she started lashing out at gay men because of her husband&#8217;s infidelity. She married the cheater, not the gay community. She is the writer, she should have heeded the old adage, &#8220;a leopard never changes its spots.&#8221; Also, I am sure she knew some gay people and she should have been that nosey Black woman that everybody knows and found his ex-boyfriends and asked what type of lover he was. Personal responsibility plays a part also.


The lady who played &#8220;7 of 9&#8221; in Star Trek the Next Generation was married to a Congressman also. They were a beautiful couple. However, they got a divorce because he liked going to sex clubs and she did not. No details were released of what went on, but that detail did get leaked. What I would like to know in this case, is if she knew this before they were married?


The DL as a movement is bringing cultural awareness to the African American community about bi-sexuality. However, consensual open sexual relationships have been going on between couples for years, both black and white. To say that the Black men who cheat on their women with men is victimization is at best mischaracterization and at worst bull**$$@@ (my opinion). If you like both man up and say that you like both.


Let me be clear, I was with a guy who was on the DL. The sex was good of course, but I did condemn him for his choice, I condemned him for his practice. He would be honest with me but not be honest with her. He would talk to her on the phone with me there and just lie and say that he was by himself. I always let him know that I did not think what he was doing was right, but I was not emotionally invested in him, it was just sex, so it was his business. He liked being with him but I insulated myself so that he would not have reasons to lie to me.


I am going to stop writing here because as you can see there are so many things that the DL is not. Find someone that has the same desires as you or be by yourself. Stop lying and then expect sympathy! &#8220;Wake Up People&#8221; &#8211; Bill Cosby to Black people.
 
OK so can I ask a question ? DL is often an activity undertaken by black men in relationships with women right ? No doubt this JL King's video is just odious titilation and is garbage, but if your a women and your apparently heterosexual husband/boyfriend turns out to be sercretly banging guys don't you have a right to know ? Not because he's having sex with guys but because he's cheating ?
 
jermained said:
For women is ok to be Bi , but for men it's not. And this is soooo not fair.
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That's because some moron, straight man started the rumor that 2 women together was hot.:rolleyes:

pieterjoke said:
wow, they make it look like it is a disease
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Actually in the black community disease is a factor. :mad: Black men on the DL are known for not having safe sex with anyone. They go slut around with other men at clubs and private parties, then bring back HIV and various other STD's to their wives and girlfriends. :angryfire2: The biggest increase in new HIV patients in recent years has been amongst straight, non IV drug using, African American women. :frown1::mad: Many down low black men think if they use condoms then it's premeditated and that means gay. If their penis just happens to fall into another mans ass, that's an accident. :rolleyes: Therefore they aren't gay.

blkbro510 said:
Writer Raymond Craver-white, bisexual, his wife kinda knew about the he had affairs or went out looking for instant hook ups with guys while they were on vacations. What I notice is that EVERYONE-no matter what race- has similar issues, but at the same time we put up these lables to seperate us and just feel alone with it. I know this is happening in other races. This can't be just a black issue because its namedly differently [/QUOTE] Ahh, now I see! You feel alone as a bisexual black man. Sorry, dude.:frown1: Much of black America still doesn't accept gay black men. There is no telling when the masses will accept bi-brothas.

What I mean by sexual preference, can a black, brown or any other man of color truely stand between the line of loving men and women. Can he fall in love with a woman one day, a man the next, and back with a woman afterwards.
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 Hmm, I don't think it happens that quickly for true bisexuals. To my knowledge they can't just turn it on and off like a faucet. :no: What you descibe sounds more like a rapid cycling bi-polar person. I've never heard of a bisexual person literally flip-flopping from one sex to the other over night. Doesn't mean it can't happen, I just have yet to see it mentioned anywhere.
But dosen't that happen to straight people or just in relationsh anyway? I had a girlfriend who was prude, and before her I had strippers-so even though my exes offered me some action I had to decline because I was in a relationship. Couldn't the same standard for respect with in committed relationship there reguardless that he or she is bisexual
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 In theory, yes. I say in theory, because whereas most men would think it was hot if they came home and found their gf going down on another female friend. If a woman comes home and finds her bf going down on his best male friend most women are not gonna find that arousing.

FWIW: I have gay friends and I enjoy watching gay, male porn, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck a gay man.



Interesting point! Now here's a question for you all. Is hyper masculity < pro athl., rappers and pimps for example> actually being masculine?
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Media and society seem to think so, but I say no. I am actually turned off by the hip-hop, rap, gangsta, thug type man of any race. I think being masculine should have more to do with chracter than some false bravado.

hilaire said:
OK so can I ask a question ? DL is often an activity undertaken by black men in relationships with women right ? No doubt this JL King's video is just odious titilation and is garbage, but if your a women and your apparently heterosexual husband/boyfriend turns out to be secretly banging guys don't you have a right to know ? Not because he's having sex with guys but because he's cheating ?
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YES, to both questions!

Here's the thing, there are closeted or DL white, Asian, and Latino men as well. But none of them have written tell all books and appeared on Oprah. Maybe women of other races are more permissive or understanding of the sexual continuum.
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My two cents for what it's worth.

"And in all actuality downlow is the informal word for bisexuality so it does include anyone and everyone from any and every race and gender. "

I don't think so. On the DL to me means noone can find out. Keep it on the DL. A married man who is actually gay who has discreet affairs with men can be having them on the DL regardless of color.

Or a guy that isn't married but is known to the outside world generally as straight. He fucks around with other guys "on the DL" meaning he wants noone to find out. He enjoys maintaining the straight label.

The one who is married and on the DL is the worst because generally their spouses do not know and if they do know I have no problem with it. But the spouses that do not know, DL is the same as having affairs she does not know about.

As far as the single guy that does it on the DL, personal choice I guess. But it is still being deceitful to the women he sleeps with, especially since if they knew they may not sleep with him again.

I have no problem with bisexuals whatsoever. I do have problems with people on the DL.

Flip the sexes for women. Same thing.
 
JL King is a ASS who has been spreading poison all in the name of making himself a dollar. The day after he was on Oprah, there seemed to be a higher level of paranoia in the Black community. Because of the elevated rate of the spread of HIV among Black women, a extra bit of caution was reasonable, however this fool took it to another level by subtly insinuating MOST Black men were on the DL. This caused a bit of panick that I believe the Black community has yet to recover. We are at a point now where two Black men can hardly shake hands without women suspecting they may be gay.

I'm not saying JL King is the SOLE reason for the exaggerated paranoia I see in the Black community today, however I profoundly believe his appearance on Oprah was a huge factor in it.
 
Harold81 said:
JL King is a ASS who has been spreading poison all in the name of making himself a dollar. The day after he was on Oprah, there seemed to be a higher level of paranoia in the Black community. Because of the elevated rate of the spread of HIV among Black women, a extra bit of caution was reasonable, however this fool took it to another level by subtly insinuating MOST Black men were on the DL. This caused a bit of panick that I believe the Black community has yet to recover. We are at a point now where two Black men can hardly shake hands without women suspecting they may be gay.

I'm not saying JL King is the SOLE reason for the exaggerated paranoia I see in the Black community today, however I profoundly believe his appearance on Oprah was a huge factor in it.
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I think you are correct. It's not like I didn't know gay black men existed. Heck I've got some in my own family. :cool: But once something like that goes on Oprah and then the book hits the New York Times Best Seller List it, goes viral. Since there is that small kernel of truth at the core, it makes it easy to believe.
 
I agree with Harold. After the Oprah show, my mother went on a tirade talking about DL black men.

I think the DL is some coward shit. I am tired of hearing men get mad when you say that they are gay and get combative because they aren't a sissy or a faggot. And I know that a lot of that fear comes from feeling like a let-down or a failure to the black community because they were successful and perfect on paper. Being gay or bi means that they are letting the community down by not procreating and being the model black man that the community sees them as. Am I making sense?

Bisexuality is seen as hot between two women. Most of the straight guys I know have fantasy of getting as much pussy as they can. Two women at the same time is double the pussy.
 
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