Ladies, are you romantic?

[Rubix]

I do try, but most times I end up feeling irrational or awkward about it and end up censoring my actions. Simple things I am good at expressing, but the hyper romantic stuff I feel like I am just going to bungle up miserably.

 

[B_Nia88]

I am super romantic candle lit dinners, candle light and baths, rose pedals on the bed, i love you notes in his lunch. Never go to bed angry, always a kiss when he leaves and when he comes home,

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

the every day consideration to each other's feelings. doing things to make the other's life easier and happier. basic good manners.

how many times have you seen couples who have stopped saying please and thank you to each other? far too often, in my experience, people often give less respect and courtesy to partners than they do to complete strangers.

feeling appreciated and respected is, imo, extremely important for a partner's emotional well being.

My husband does this and I find it extremely romantic and sexy.

candlelit dinners... nah
jewelry and flowers... hell no

but he remembered 20+ years later the perfume I was wearing the day he asked me to be his steady girl. (I didn't even remember that!)

He remembers things that matter.... still shows his love for me in every day things...courtesy, friendship, and the big thing... we still laugh with one another.

He's way more romantic than I am, and he keeps it focused on the simple things. No maggots in our cake! :smile:

edit:
I guess I am a bit romantic... went back and read sprinklme's post about the poems and it reminded me of the poetry I'd written for my husband. He has one framed I wrote one Valentine's day on his bed stand. I'd forgotten all about that.

Maybe I am romantic... I don't take time to think about it much... I just do things to show him I love and appreciate him. Seems small to me.

 

[EllieP]

I think true romantic gestures are the signs of a good relationship. Yes, I am romantic but I also love to be romanced. Knowing that, I know it's important for my husband to be romanced, too.

I love sending him away with love notes in his guitar case (it's his practice guitar so no roadie will open it! LOL! I learned that!). I even send him flowers on his birthday, and I know he gets teased by his mates when I do. But he loves it.

My married girlfriends sometimes think I'm sick about it, but I don't care. Seriously, they think I go overboard. I wonder about them sometimes.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

That was part of her point. You have to go back a few generations. She felt that women had become entitled in relationships in the last two generations.

Did your OP say that? I must have missed it.

You'll have to ask Hick if I'm romantic or not - I think this maybe one question I can't answer for myself as I find romance to be in the interpretation of the 'beholder'.

Women are just romantic as men, which means to say that it's completely hit and miss.

On that you and I agree - I also think people tend to follow the examples of the relationships they see as they are growing up.

 

[AlteredEgo]

the every day consideration to each other's feelings. doing things to make the other's life easier and happier. basic good manners.

how many times have you seen couples who have stopped saying please and thank you to each other? far too often, in my experience, people often give less respect and courtesy to partners than they do to complete strangers.

feeling appreciated and respected is, imo, extremely important for a partner's emotional well being.

To me, this is part of romance. I work oh... I don't remember how many hours this week, and haven't had a day off in two weeks until today. (Plus, don't forget I'm full time in school trying to keep my straight A's.) When I went to see what chores awaited me on my single day off, I found the laundry had been washed and put away, the kitchen cleaned, the floors and carpet swept, and the chicken defrosted. I got a text reminding me to get "some extra sleeps", telling me I was loved deeply, and instructing me to have a real day off.

My husband knows I have trouble waking up (because I have trouble getting to sleep right now) and calls me and texts me until I reply so I don't get to work late. Because my husband is in bed at 9PM, and leaves for work at o'dark thirty, my husband takes his bike with him to work, drops the car off at my job, then bikes the 5 miles home after putting in a 9 hour day at work, just so I don't have to take the bus at 10PM.

Once a week, he puts a bow on a bottle of my favorite beer, one I know he has to travel a distance to get, and leaves it and a sandwich in the fridge for me. (He'd buy more than one at a time, but one is usually all they have left! It's that good!)

My husband is the cheerleader I need when I'm fucking up. He reminds me that I'm Altered-muthafucking-Ego, accomplished, determined, and outstanding in many ways. The casual observer might never guess that sometimes I forget I rock, but he's not casual about our life together, and he provides that boost when I'm flagging.

During our marathon last January, I aggravated an injury I got during training. I knew I was getting slow, and endangering his chances of finishing. I tried to get him to leave me behind, promising I wouldn't give up, but expressing concern that I was now too slow to finish ahead of the sweeper buses. (If you're still out there past 7 hours, your time doesn't count, and the bus picks you up.) What did he do? How did he respond? He took my hand and dragged me to the finish line. He said, "I won't let you fail."

Our favorite restaurant closed without warning. We planned to go there for our anniversary. One of the companies for which I work has leased the space. On our anniversary, he took me there. I believed we were just running an errand for a friend who wanted to take advantage of my discount. I'm just an assistant manager, but they gave me that job because of my (newly discovered) talent for visual merchandising. So, when I arrived, my associates immediately bombarded me with merchandising and display questions regarding assignments I had issued. He protected me from having to conduct business on my only day off, "I'm sorry. Mrs. Ego is out with her husband celebrating her anniversary. Altered will answer all of your queries on Monday." When we got to the register, the manager handed me my gift-wrapped present. "Don't thank me, he left this for you when he came to pick you up from your other job yesterday!" My husband said, "Happy anniversary. I promised I'd take you to your favorite restaurant. I'm sorry they turned it into a store. It's way more fun now that you've arranged all this stuff in here, anyway." (It is, kinda. My store is lots of fun. My team and I have made it beautiful and exciting.)

When I am home in time, he undresses me, leads me into a bathroom he has decked out with flickering LED candles, and bathes me. He moisturizes me, and tells me how beautiful I am, and how much he enjoys getting to touch me this way. Then, I tuck him into bed and go do my homework, obeying his nightly command, "Go get that A, Hunny!"

My idea of romance encompasses the grand gestures inherent in the everyday niceties. He takes really good care of his wife, and I send my gratitude out into the universe every day that for his wife, he chose me.

When I didn't have three jobs, a small business, and full-time school, I used to take really good care of him. One day, when there is just a little bit less on my plate, I will be that romantic wife again. I will tuck him in every night, or snuggle in next to him and rub his fuzzy tummy until he falls asleep. I will get up before o'dark-thirty and make him a gourmet breakfast and lunch. I will make a good supper like I made for us tonight (curried chicken, honey-glazed mixed veggies, and coconut rice). I will mind my manners with his evil mother. And I will trim his mustache so he doesn't have to shave it off. I will wash his clothes, and maintain order in our home. I will be the live-in girlfriend he married, and not the stressed out, exhausted wife he has now. I will, because I still love him, and I see romance in the little things I used to do to enhance his life. I want to again be that wife his co-workers envied him for having. But that wife only had the one job and the small business.

I think romance comes from appreciating what you have together, and working to preserve and enhance it. It comes from respect and concern, from attentiveness and consideration. It comes from not minding the hard work, and getting it done.

Romance comes less easily to those who take each other for granted.

 

[Drifterwood]

Thanks AE.

Stress is a real fucka for sure, and the world has more than enough at the moment.

I think being taken for granted is the romance problem. Do you think that people who take other people for granted are just like that with everyone? I need to remind myself more, not to take things for granted. The world is fresher that way, I am sure.

 

[LaFemme]

the every day consideration to each other's feelings. doing things to make the other's life easier and happier. basic good manners.

how many times have you seen couples who have stopped saying please and thank you to each other? far too often, in my experience, people often give less respect and courtesy to partners than they do to complete strangers.

feeling appreciated and respected is, imo, extremely important for a partner's emotional well being.

I'm not a grand gesture romantic. A bouquet of flowers or a weekend getaway once a year doesn't make up for 364 days feeling unappreciated. It is the day to day things that I find romantic. It is little kindnesses and thoughtful gestures that mean the most to me.

What dolf says about being nicer to strangers than to the ones we love is something I say to my family all the time. We often show the worst of ourselves to our loved ones, but they also deserve the best of ourselves.

Romance, to me, is showing the other person that you are thinking of them. It's bringing home a favourite treat for them, or letting them sleep in, or washing the car & filling it with gas, it's actually listening when they talk. Like ManlyB's story earlier, it's hiding their favourite candy for them to find - it's thinking of what makes them smile and doing it, all without any expectation for yourself. Ultimately it needs to balance out in some way, but each act shouldn't be an expectation for a return.

That being said, I don't mind giving or receiving the occasional bouquet of flowers/chocolates. And who doesn't like a nice weekend away? It's just I like the romance of ordinary days.

 

[Drifterwood]

Did your OP say that? I must have missed it.

I try not to be didactic in my thread OPs.