Men and tears

[viking1]

I cry all the time too. Much more so now than when I was younger.
Like was said by someone else it's the hurt in the family that makes me cry at funerals and not the death itself. The first funeral I cried at was not that of a family member but rather a coworker who lost a spouse in a motor vehicle accident. The hurt in their eyes just brought out the tears.

I do cry very easily now. I just ain't as tough as I used to be and I am acutally glad of it. I feel more human now. Crying is good release.

I can look into a woman's eyes and cry now. I used to be to tough for my own good. I paid the price for being like that, though.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

As I'm in a tears open flood today because some last year losses of known and unknow people all over the place...and greatfull is cold that my red nose may be mistaken for a cold and weather.

How do you as a man deal with tears? When do you cry? By yourself, very seldom, a lot...what may cause you to sure cry? Its a dry cry or comes with lots of tears?


Its a good healthy therapy to just let go when its full inside...let be all red face and empty it to the last drop, than we are going to feel better.

As a personal rule, I try to reign in my tears for whenever they really are necessary.
Usually, if at work something really frustrates me to the point where I can't take it, I find a spot someplace out of camera range and let it flow. But that's for bad days at work.

I think the last time I really and truly cried was going on almost 7 yrs ago; when my granny died. I'd held everything back, hell, so did everyone else there, from cousins, my mom,(She & my granny got along great, even after my father divorced my mom), aunt's, sister, at the funeral home, until the final services for her, then when we approached her coffin, everything went crashing down, and weall really cried for her.
I've since cried like that for my uncle who died in 2001 from a heart attack.

 

[D_Sheffield Thongbynder]

If something touches me, I cry. It's as natural as breathing.

 

[fortiesfun]

Wow…

Yet another wonderful thread I can only come to expect from LPSG members, and nowhere else. Now to share my two cents with the group…

As always, Clear, a great post. I'd love to see you around more. Every time you write I am inspired.

Thanks, Gisella, for inviting this topic.

 

[B_Hickboy]

I've never had a bad cry. I was brought up not to be free with my emotions, but I have learned there is a high price to pay for reigning them in. I just let it all flow as it comes to me.

 

[Lex]

As always, Clear, a great post. I'd love to see you around more. Every time you write I am inspired.

Thanks, Gisella, for inviting this topic.

I could not agree more.

 

[radicaldick]

last time i cried was at my grandfather's funeral 3 years ago. i will be at my grandmother's funeral on friday.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Something that brings a tear or two each time is the En Memorium they do each Sunday on ABC on George Stephanopoulos's show and each weekday at the end of the McNeil News Hour on PBS. The ages of the men and women lost in Afghanistan and Iraq start at 19 and go on up, but so many are in their early twenties

 

[novice_btm]

My Grandmother has always been one of the driving forces in my life. Although she's been more and more forgetful, everyone always comments on how rock-solid and totally clear that she is with me. This year, when I came home for Christmas, she didn't know who I was. Afterwards, outside, and with no one around, I totally lost it.

 

[dannymawg]

Here I am looking for advice again:

Despite a self-imposed exile over the holidays, and a couple heavy drinking sessions, I still couldn't let go.

How does one unrestrain/unreel emotions? To let go the reins?

 

[viking1]

Here I am looking for advice again:

Despite a self-imposed exile over the holidays, and a couple heavy drinking sessions, I still couldn't let go.

How does one unrestrain/unreel emotions? To let go the reins?

I cannot tell you how. I was finally able to after many years of being very tough and unemotional. It just takes time.

Like I said I paid the price for being that way...and am still paying it...probably now more that ever.
I need friends and support now but have not found much. It is nobodys fault but mine though.

 

[dannymawg]

Wait - I think I found it...

For how else can a man truly know he is alive, if he is first not made to feel?[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

So I guess the question is: how do I de-anesthetize?

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Here I am looking for advice again:

Despite a self-imposed exile over the holidays, and a couple heavy drinking sessions, I still couldn't let go.

How does one unrestrain/unreel emotions? To let go the reins?

There isn't a magic formula. I can cry but not at will. You may have to do some inner healing before you feel the freedom to let loose. I can cry at another persons suffering, at the loss of someone I love. Sometimes my own physical pain takes its toll. I am just able to easily release. :/ I am just thankful I healed enough inside to be able to cry at all.

 

[dannymawg]

My old man used to go off on hour-plus long tirades, couched in terms of "family meeting" but it was usually just us as an audience while he went off verbally, redfaced, hoarse - totally apopleptic over one of us.

In one of these tirades, I was singled out for having the undesirable trait of crying easily. "You look at the kid crosseyed and he cries, for Gods sake! [mother], when's this SHIT gonna STOP?"

I vowed from that point to do whatever was necessary to either surpress or hide any crying. I think I was seven years old.

There's what I needed to hear/think for myself, Gisella. Thanks again for the thread, and to all who are able to explain why they do/can. And a hug to all. I'm done here. Sorry for the hijack.

 

[TitanicJake]

I don't cry.
If I did as a kid my dad hit me.
I learned quick to be strong means be devoid of "weak" emotions.

I never hugged people after sex when I felt a bit sad. If I lost a wrestling match my coach would usually yell at me and dare me to cry. I remember standing in the locker room naked holding back the tears as he yelled and belittled me.

I coach wrestling & I teach. I encourage my boys to communicate their emotions. Crying is not "breaking down". It is honest open communication.
They look at me like I'm nuts when I say "It's okay to cry".

The worst sight in the world is watching a 15 year old boy fighting to hold back the natural tears his feelings & body want to produce. It kills me anytime I see it.

I can't cry. I have tried.
Men in this country are expected to be aggressive, dominate, strong, and confident. Tears ruin the mix.

I read Real Boys. It changed my life as a teacher, a father and as a man.

Jake
PS I guess you struck a nerve with me here.

 

[rob_just_rob]

I don't seem to cry as things happen - when I cry, it's brought on by memories, or ideas.

And that scene in Field of Dreams.

I definitely don't cry in front of others very often... only a couple of girlfriends have been present when it happened.

We hugged in front of my house and balled.

Balled, or bawled? :wink: (sorry, I couldn't resist. So much for that resolution)

 

[cofrader]

I try to be under control of my emotions every time but sometime with a greath scene of a movie i drop some tears and feel really stupid.
The few moments that i was close to samething serius and sad i was close to crying but without tears.

 

[Pecker]

I cry at home, at church, at weddings and funerals, when happy, when sad, but I just plain hate to let anybody see me cry at the movies. I was 11 years old when Old Yeller came out and as as a special outing my 5th grade class went to see it together. The girls were all bawling their eyes out but we boys were stoic and brave when a tearful Tommy Kirk aimed that shotgun at his faithful, brave friend.

I guess you just don't get over some experiences.

 

[agnslz]

Sometimes when I see other men letting go and crying, like Ford's son, today... Sometimes when kids do something wonderful and profound, and I feel proud of them or amazed at their abilities... When people step out of their manufactured roles and just do the right thing... and of course when I lose someone close to me. Typically, it's only a tear or two, and I do the strong-man-bearing-it kind of routine... I cried a lot when my wife died, but it wasn't in front of people.

OMG! That moment made my heart sink! I honestly teared up myself seeing him cry. I have been sweet on Steve Ford for as long as I can remember, and seeing that just made my emotions come through. I cried when President Reagan died (that burial at sunset was beautiful!), and I cried when Jackie O. died! And now, I've cried not just for President Ford, but for his son also!

As evidenced by all this, I cry quite easily. In fact, I cry all the time! I've been called a cry baby who knows how many times in my life. I cannot watch the movie The Color Purple without crying at the end part! I find solace in my tears, and they've always helped me to deal with things both good and bad. Recently, there was a death in my family and I ended each day for about a month afterwards with a good cry! Five years ago, both my dad and my grampa died within a month of each other, and I cried uncontrollably every night before bed for quite a long while afterwards. I also cry on happy occasions, such as on the days my nephews and nieces were born, on my mom's fiftieth birthday, and recently, on Christmas Eve as my nephews and nieces were opening their presents!

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm gonna go cry right now!:biggrin::smile:

 

[D_N Flay Table]

oh man, I cry all the time.. it is a great release.
usually at movies... (big fish always does it to me)
but also in some situations.
DJG