Men and tears

[RandomBottle]

Crying... I don't even remember the last time I cried. I'm one of those people who thinks crying is weak and useless. It doesn't accomplish anything, so why do it?

Don't get me wrong though... I'm hardly one of those macho "Be a man!" freaks... I'm gay for gods sake. ~.^

 

[slayer04]

I cried at my grandmother's funeral. However all because a person male or female doesnt cry doesnt mean they arent feeling. People express and emote in other ways than crying. Some people sing, paint, play sports to express their grief or joy. However, if I saw a guy crying for any other reason than a death it would seem odd, mainly because I dont do it (I am still young) not because I dont feel.

 

[Love-it]

I can tear up during a sappy movie or cry because of a personal loss but I still feel uncomfortable crying around other people. Most of the time I don't mind my wife noticing that I am teary, she cries less during movies than I do.

I remember last year when things were really piling up on top of me that there was one night when I just let go and feeling sorry for myself I cried, I then felt refreshed and moved on, crying was very cathartic.

 

[DC_DEEP]

The last time I really cried was almost 5 years ago, when my Mom died.

Sometimes very emotionally intense or very beautiful music (like, say, Liebestod) will bring a tear to my eyes, or an especially intense scene in a movie, but otherwise, I'm not much of a cryer.

 

[kalipygian]

I cry at home, at church, at weddings and funerals, when happy, when sad, but I just plain hate to let anybody see me cry at the movies. I was 11 years old when Old Yeller came out and as as a special outing my 5th grade class went to see it together. The girls were all bawling their eyes out but we boys were stoic and brave when a tearful Tommy Kirk aimed that shotgun at his faithful, brave friend.

I guess you just don't get over some experiences.

Had the book Old Yeller when I was a kid, too upsetting, I've never seen the movie.

Always have cried very readily, and easily moved, not ashamed of it, but it used to be kind of frustrating when I was a kid, obstructed trying to communicate, people would think something really awfull had happened, and hate getting all snotty.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

In one of these tirades, I was singled out for having the undesirable trait of crying easily.

I vowed from that point to do whatever was necessary to either surpress or hide any crying. I think I was seven years old.

Much the same for me, sadly. I was about 14 or so.

 

[Gisella]

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Guys..I'am back and dry eyes this time!

Yep, I'm done for now...Thank you again for each one of you sharing, I do feel grateful you take time and open up. I feel our humanity and uniqueness and I love you for that...plus I watched "The Snow Walker" movie at encore last nite ...and it soothing and remind me lessons life brings and people we meet in our journey...they are not just concidence meetings.

When a wild bird comes so near and keep staring and singing is a very sweet thing and to me reminds my origins and to focus in what's really matters in my life...:borladuck:

Kisses

 

[Love-it]

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Guys..I'am back and dry eyes this time!

Yep, I'm done for now...Thank you again for each one of you sharing, I do feel grateful you take time and open up. I feel our humanity and uniqueness and I love you for that...plus I watched "The Snow Walker" movie at encore last nite ...and it soothing and remind me lessons life brings and people we meet in our journey...they are not just concidence meetings.

When a wild bird comes so near and keep staring and singing is a very sweet thing and to me reminds my origins and to focus in what's really matters in my life...:borladuck:

Kisses

Kisses.

 

[HUNGHUGE11X7]

How do you as a man deal with tears? When do you cry? By yourself, very seldom, a lot...what may cause you to sure cry? Its a dry cry or comes with lots of tears?

First of all this would imply that a man has to deal with the idea of crying as if it should be something foreign to him.
Crying is an aspect of being human and having a soul that is able to feel. Crying is in NO WAY indicative of weakness, quite the contrary it takes a strong person who knows who he is and is in touch with how he feels to cry.
I cry whenever my soul is moved whether I am alone or with friends or in a group. I am a big crier at movies with friends which they think is annoying at times lol .
Show me a man who cannot cry in front of his friends and I will show you a man who is out of touch with himself and the expression of his soul.
Crying is a human expression, a release of the soul. Be it happy or sad or even in anger at times, it is neither masculine nor feminine but it is androgynous like the soul and should NEVER be mistaken for weakness but great strength of an enlightened soul.


:banana:
HORSE

 

[Gisella]

First of all this would imply that a man has to deal with the idea of crying as if it should be something foreign to him.
Crying is an aspect of being human and having a soul that is able to feel. Crying is in NO WAY indicative of weakness, quite the contrary it takes a strong person who knows who he is and is in touch with how he feels to cry.
I cry whenever my soul is moved whether I am alone or with friends or in a group. I am a big crier at movies with friends which they think is annoying at times lol .
Show me a man who cannot cry in front of his friends and I will show you a man who is out of touch with himself and the expression of his soul.
Crying is a human expression, a release of the soul. Be it happy or sad or even in anger at times, it is neither masculine nor feminine but it is androgynous like the soul and should NEVER be mistaken for weakness but great strength of an enlightened soul.


:banana:
HORSE

I do have to desagree with you..because at least to me its not simple like that, at least for people who grew up with messages 'big boys dont cry' or interference when they naturaly cry. I remember as a child a neighboor mother telling their kids girls or boys as they start to cry to swallow their cry imediatelly...well, people come from different cultures background, experiences plus they have their own personality traits.

I just made a general question for individuals to give me their experiences on the matter and specific males because as much I have experienced males expressing all kinds of emotions crying too, my family or personal experience is not a rule and we are humans too. Human experience differs very much most were born with all the aparatus to cry but is not because of that we are going to do for the same reasons and constance and etc we are not clones.

But for sure what you touched is the obvious, thank you.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I easily respond emotionally with tears, whether it be a happy or tragic movie, a funeral, a loss, the emotion wells up to a point where the tears flow.

I don't sob, but I can be watching the news, see tragedy, pain and suffering around the world and the tears will just flow. I see the misery that man's stupity, arrogance and greed casues to people and it makes me weep physically.

 

[14x8thck]

This makes me so sad. At the end of the day, I now knwo that I am a stronger man for expressing my emotions rather than swallowing them. I know this runs counter to the way young boys are socialized in America.

We as men, IMO, have to learn how to express and emote and have to realize that having and expressing our feelings is not weakness, but rather strength.

Swallowing your joy and pain is like watching a DVD on a HD-TV with the sound set to MONO. Don't do it, guys. You're missing a great deal of yourselves (and the strength and comfort you receive from others).

Real Boys:[SIZE=-1]Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood[/SIZE] is a book that talks about how boys are asked to separate from their mothers at a much younger age than are girls and how they are taught that anger and rage are the only acceptable emotions to display. It's a must read for any man who wishes to be truly in touch with himself.

I agree it is sad. It is a very cathartic thing to do. I am not ashamed and if it happens it happens. NEVER have I hid it. I just asked a friend if I am overly emothional and they said no things just move me. Cannot imagine life without the ability to express myself in any manner.

 

[2322]

I cry practically on queue. Hell, watching a Titanic special can get me misty. I'm horribly sentimental.

 

[OKFarmer]

I agree that American society teaches its young men to be callous almost to the point of automatons when it comes to emotions. When I was a child, I could bawl myself tearless easily. However, in my teens, I began just holding it back.

It is very hard for me to cry still. I lost my grandfather in 2002 and couldn't get out a tear over it even though I loved the man. In 2003, I lost grandma on the other side of the family and couldn't cry. I remember watching my first son born the next month and wanting to cry in joy, but being unable to. I couldn't cry when my second son was born in 2005.

In September 2006, I was held up at gunpoint by a punk who just wanted drugs. It was obvious he was coming off a "trip" and Jonesing for his next hit. I finally found myself crying from anger at myself for letting it bother me. I learned that crying was the release it had been as a kid however, and not to hold back so much. However, it is still a hard thing for me to do.

Tomorrow, I head to St Louis to bury my uncle. He fought Parkinson's from the time he was 30 until 70. He was the one member of the family who understood me. He was neither intimidated by a highly intelligent child, nor unwilling to spend time with the kid who fell between the cousins and the children of the cousin during family gatherings. Even last night after I found out that he passed I had trouble crying. Finally at about 3:30am this morning I was able to let go. However, I found myself holding back the full extent because I didn't want to wake my children.

I guess its time to get over it and make sure the boys know its alright to cry. I don't want them growing up unable to fully experience the emotional side of life. Men do cry, its just very hard for some of us. It doesn't make us weak.

 

[Duane.Ament]

When something hits me hard emotionally (good or bad), I cry. My father never cried when I was younger...so I always felt like it was a bad thing to show emotion. But, as I get older, I say, "Fuck it." Even Bush (whom I do not like) cries on national tv with some regularity...

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

A man has to face pain, and to be able to feel it.

If tears come, they are welcome, as a part of the feelings that anybody, men included, need to feel.

Some persons are not able to cry, and this can have many reasons, but being male is not one of these.

 

[nudeyorker]

As a child and young adult I was never able to cry. But with time experience, I cry freely if something is happy or sad.

 

[No_Strings]

I dislike crying just because of what it is, I'm a real 'sobber', chest jerks, gasping for breath. While I do rarely cry, there is a certain film which will make me, every single time :smile:

Crying is a natural reaction, some people have this reaction to different things, but I feel no embarassment or distress from crying as a man (other than the feeling which caused me to cry in the first place)

 

[WildHoney]

I have never seen my husband cry, I have seen him get misty, but not sob crying ( I think it is just because he has such a lovley life with me!!! hahah ),

Interestingly I am a woman,and I do not cry either, I don't cry out of pain, or in frustration.
I think I have sob cried about 10 times in our 19 years together. Our children are all different, one cries all the time, one is a dramatic medium crier , and the other is a stone and does not cry but will get misty.

I am not sure why I do not cry, I just don't ever feel it coming on, or feel like I want or need to.

Perhaps we need to go to crying school, but to me it just looks exhausting to be heaving and sobbing .. ....ahh thats it, I am too lazy to cry!

 

[catman]

I was never a big cry-er' til my wife passed away. Its like all those years of being strong...well.

Now my sons tease me if I get 'weepy' at a good Hallmark comercial.

Screw em- I would rather they see me shed a tear than keep it locked inside. A man CAN cry, an idiot keeps it locked in.