"Open" Relationships

[kcd467]

jeffin 90620 - your GF has had no concerns? may i ask if you guys are play around separately or together or both?

 

[Divine1]

If it works for a couple to have an open relationship...then go for it!
If it hurts the relationship...then its not good.
Personally, I like the intimacy and trust and evolution that results from a monogamous relationship!

 

[Jeffin90620]

jeffin 90620 - your GF has had no concerns? may i ask if you guys are play around separately or together or both?

Watching me with another woman was a gradual development in our relationship. It started with voyeurism and exhibitionism; her orgasms were enhanced so much that we started adding other men to the mix (she is not the least bit bi, which suits me just fine, and I have liked gangbang porn since I first saw it college).

About a year ago, she started joking about watching me do a friend of ours whose alternate lifestyle overlaps ours after her relationship fizzled, but that didn't happen. Earlier this year, she sounded serious about seeing it happen and the opportunity arose at IR Kink in mid July.

She was out of town when I went to a luau (we are both members of a (vanilla) social group) and saw a bunch of pictures of me posing with other women that were posted online. She wrote that she wasn't jealous at all and wondered if that was a good thing; I said that it means she is confident in the relationship.

We don't play separately.

 

[Spunkybear]

Short version is they are not for everyone... & once they have started its hard to go back...
I am in one & there are times where it would be easier if we weren't in one, but there are others where its great.
Anyone considering it just make sure you & your partner are completely open & honest

 

[xiongmao]

I've been with my bf for about 4 years now and it's kinda open; basically we had the whole 'views on sex' discussion and our views are very, very different. My bf was brought up in an Irish catholic family so family and monogomy are very important to him; unfortuantely due to the way I grew up and being sexually-abused for a few years etc, I have trouble attaching strong emotions to sex and see it as much more of a fun hobby. In the end we agreed to disagree and left it at that; my bf knows that sometimes I get a little sexually frustrated with him, he is top only and I'm a firm believer in 'don't give it if you can't take it', plus he's a little bit of a prude lol.
So now I occasionally get off with other guys, he does know I do it as he's seen me do it a few times in clubs when I'm just ever so slightly shit-faced, but it's one of those things where if you stare at it long enough you can pretend it's not there; we do seem to still be going strong though. I love the man to bits and can't imagine not living with him and sharing my life with him and he seems to feel the same.
I just don't think that sex is everything there is to a relationship, and that if your partner doesn't always satisfy you sexually, that it doesn't mean you should repress your sexuality or that you shouldn't bo going out with them Maybe our relationship is more 'ajar' than 'open' but as far as I'm concerned it's just a way of dealing with one of our problems

 

[Osiris]

For me, I take my wedding vows seriously. I may think of a threesome, but sex without my wife doesn't interest me at all. If I still wanted to be with someone other than my wife that bad, I wouldn't have married.

Yes, I flirt, but a lot of the time the wife is sitting there watching or she knows. She also knows my best friends are all female. Again, I am fortunate to have a very open and understanding wife. Why would I want someone else?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

I'm very open to the idea and have known others who were as well. I'm friends with a couple who has a successful and healthy open relationship. However, they can be very difficult to navigate through, mostly because so many people out there are way too jealous, selfish, and neurotic to handle such a thing, even if they claim they are. I think it makes a big difference how exactly everything is laid out at the beginning of the relationship, and it also helps out (if it's not absolutely essential) if both partners are on the same page in terms of what exactly they want in the relationship. That's extremely rare when it happens, one reason why open relationships are difficult.

 

[B_Nick8]

If it works for others I'm supportive and totally nonjudgemental, but for me, not at all. Monogamy is the one gift, the only one, I give to my partner that no one else gets a piece of.

 

[deleted3782]

I'm very open to the idea and have known others who were as well. I'm friends with a couple who has a successful and healthy open relationship. However, they can be very difficult to navigate through, mostly because so many people out there are way too jealous, selfish, and neurotic to handle such a thing, even if they claim they are. I think it makes a big difference how exactly everything is laid out at the beginning of the relationship, and it also helps out (if it's not absolutely essential) if both partners are on the same page in terms of what exactly they want in the relationship. That's extremely rare when it happens, one reason why open relationships are difficult.

I agree with all of that, having been in one myself. Plus, the term "relationship" is often a moving target, which doesn't make it any easier. When two people are in "synch," thats when being in a relationship is worthwhile.

 

[docris]

An open relationship would not work for hubby and me. We're both too insecure in that regard. Plus I'm really concerned about the potential disease factor.

 

[redzook]

Well, my wife and I (4 years married) have an open relationship. It works great for us. However, as stated, trust, maturity, and safety are of utmost importance to us.
Our sex life is as good as it was when we first met. We tell each other about our experiences, and that leads to us having hot sex.
We are picky (with good reason) and very careful.
Hope this helps.

 

[redzook]

oh, and I meant to say "Variety is the spice of life".

 

[Principessa]

Well, my wife and I (4 years married) have an open relationship. It works great for us. However, as stated, trust, maturity, and safety are of utmost importance to us.

Our sex life is as good as it was when we first met. We tell each other about our experiences, and that leads to us having hot sex.
We are picky (with good reason) and very careful.
Hope this helps.

No, it doesn't. This is not meant to be an attack, on your chosen lifestyle. Why the heck did you get married if you are both still fucking around? I honestly am clueless as to why just 4 years into a marriage an open relationship is necessary to sustain your mutual happiness?

An open relationship would not work for hubby and me. Plus I'm really concerned about the potential disease factor.

IMO disease is reason enough to not have an open relationship these days.

 

[redzook]

(In Reply to njqt466, who said) No, it doesn't. This is not meant to be an attack, on your chosen lifestyle. Why the heck did you get married if you are both still fucking around? I honestly am clueless as to why just 4 years into a marriage an open relationship is necessary to sustain your mutual happiness?

I'm glad it isn't an attack! lol
We married necause we love each other. Not because we felt insecure as single adults. Sharing our lives, and our love, doesnt make us unable to sustain our mutual happiness, it just makes us happier. Monogamy isn't all it's cracked up to be for us. Ask the "one in two" marriages that don't last because of infidelty. At least our commitment to "death do us part" isn't in jeopardy because of peoples beliefs in what they have read and been told by others.
"Don't knock it til you've tried it"