Pretty Boy.....

[YourAvgGuy]

For those of you who know me, you know that I do not like to associate the term "pretty" with a man, e.g., pretty boy, etc. Pretty, to me, has different connotations. It infers (to me) childlike resemblance. Boys are pretty; men are handsome, sexy, hot, attractive, etc.

So, why is that women are insistant to call dudes out and call us "pretty boys," especially when some know we hate the phrase? Am I suppose to be giddy and say, "thanks for the compliment," like a 10 year old boy? I am a man with manly attributes... not boyish... if you follow what I mean....

And why "pretty?" Pretty is so soft... unmasculine. Explanation? I am clueless..........

Yes, I am on a rant today!

 

[Freddie53]

Your post "forced" me to take a look at your pics. They are very handsome indeed.

I do understand though what you mean about being called pretty boy. Some will say that to mean that the guy is not masculine and looks like a pretty girl. And I understand why you would not like that being said about you. I know I wouldn't want that implied either.

I think many people don't mean "girly" when they say a guy is a pretty boy. But enough do to make that not a very good choice of words to use. I sometimes remark that a dick is pretty or beautiful in the galleries, but I certainly don't mean feminine or looks like a guy who hasn't started puberty yet, I mean big well proportioned and not ugly as some dicks are.

 

[ganja4me]

I always just think of it as a metaphor for metrosexual.

 

[nudeyorker]

There are some boys who are pretty with out being effeminate and others who are, there are men who are handsome in the classic sense and others who are ruggedly handsome. There are also men who have an interesting look (my personal favorite)
I'm never one to say fuck you to a compliment; I have not been called pretty since Kennedy was in office!

 

[sdg475]

When I was a little younger, before my nose got staighter/broader and before my jaw got squarer, I used to get called pretty every now and then. I hated it, I was also shy so I didn't take compliments well in general, but I certainly didn't accept "pretty" gracefully.

 

[LouisVauban]

For those of you who know me, you know that I do not like to associate the term "pretty" with a man, e.g., pretty boy, etc...
So, why is that women are insistant to call dudes out and call us "pretty boys," especially when some know we hate the phrase?

You say "I do not like..." and in the next breath assume that all "dudes" don't like the term.

It really does not offend me in the least.

Pretty means nice to look at... simply. Like a picture or a lamp... a pretty face. A pretty boy is derrogatory slang for someone trying too hard to be picture perfect.

 

[Ethyl]

For those of you who know me, you know that I do not like to associate the term "pretty" with a man, e.g., pretty boy, etc. Pretty, to me, has different connotations. It infers (to me) childlike resemblance. Boys are pretty; men are handsome, sexy, hot, attractive, etc.

So, why is that women are insistant to call dudes out and call us "pretty boys," especially when some know we hate the phrase? Am I suppose to be giddy and say, "thanks for the compliment," like a 10 year old boy? I am a man with manly attributes... not boyish... if you follow what I mean....

And why "pretty?" Pretty is so soft... unmasculine. Explanation? I am clueless..........

Yes, I am on a rant today!

Personally I use the term "pretty" to describe anything that is colourful, lush, and shapely. A man can have a feminine feature or two and still be masculine. For instance, if a man has bright, colourful eyes, i'll say they're "pretty". One could insert other general descriptions such as "gorgeous" or "beautiful" in place of "pretty". Something more specific such as "steely", "piercing" or "mesmerising" may be more appropriate.

"Pretty boy" is often used as a condescending term to describe an extremely attractive man who isn't too bright, so I can see why you'd be offended by this particular use of the word.

 

[crescendo69]

I prefer to compliment my men by calling them "beautiful". Pretty boy has some negative connotations ("He's just a pretty boy") meaning their looks are all they have.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I always just think of it as a metaphor for metrosexual.

Same here... it's a term for describing someone who dresses nicely, and doesn't look like a slob.

 

[naughty]

This is an interesting thread. I think one of the problems is that people so often misuse and appropriate terms so that their meanings can become unclear at best and offensive at worst. Your response to the word pretty is the same one I have to men being called "cute". A child is cute, a puppy is cute, a man is not cute. He is attractive, striking, stunning, handsome, etc. It may be qualified by saying he is "boyishly handsome" but not cute.

Pretty, on the other hand, to me has a number of meanings for a man. Everyone gets their features from both parents. There are often sons who inherit the mile long lashes, beautiful bright eyes, gorgeous hair, skin and bone structure a woman would die for. Often they are called "pretty" or "gorgeous" if it is taken to another level. This have very little to do with their inate masculinity. I happen to have had a "pretty" father and have other "pretty" male relatives for whom there is not doubt about their masculinity. It can also be a term of derision and envy when a man seems so attractive or smooth that he is either seen as a threat in attracting other men or women or to a woman who sees him as out of her league. It may have very little to do with how the man sees himself or even is as a person but this is a way to level the playing field in the mind of the person who is threatened. "Oh, he is just a pretty boy" or "the pretty boys get all the luck" infering that any success the person has achieved in any arena is due strictly to his physical attractiveness.
I have also seen people aspire to the perceived success of such a person by joining certain groups or dressing or behaving a way that they perceive as suave or debonair, or a "playah". They can sometimes by default become associated with the "pretty boy" mystique. There is nothing wrong with a man being well groomed , aware of his physical attributes and attempting to take care of them. My hat is off to them... I and most others who enjoy the view say THANK YOU!

 

[Shelby]

I may be off base here (usually am) but I think calling a man a pretty boy is what I call a left handed compliment. Sort of like telling a woman her outfit is really slimming.

I agree with the op. A more fitting accolade minus the negative undertones would be something like say, strikingly handsome.

 

[ebb33]

Interesting topic.

Frankly, I don't think "pretty" is that much of a bad word. I call a guy a pretty boy if he looks young, fresh (and maybe has some feminine features). A handsome man to me is more mature (and thus often more masculine). But I need to say that I couldn't decide if I prefered a "pretty" or "handsome" guy. Guys with feminine features can be equally fascinating.

An other word is "cute". Isn't that just the "you're-nice-but-not-great"-word?

 

[viking1]

Being called "pretty" wouldn't bother me. I'll take any kind of compliment I can get. I can see why some would not particularly like it, though.

I doubt anybody is going to call me pretty, anyway.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I "hear" subtle distinctions between cute, pretty, beautiful, attractive, handsome, lovely, and gorgeous. It's interesting that there are so few that relate to "masculine attractiveness" and so many relating to "feminine attractiveness."

I doubt I would ever refer to a male as pretty, except in the context of pretty boy. As several have mentioned above, it has a negative connotation. For me, pretty boy is someone who looks good (or thinks he does) and has either or both qualities of being too self-absorbed or intellectually lacking to be of any interest.

 

[ClaireTalon]

You shouldn't take this so seriously. I mostly use that term either in a derogatory sense, but that means that I'm not talking to a pretty boy, more referring to one. So if you overhear someone referring to you as a pretty boy, you should just punch him in the face.

If I call someone a pretty boy, talking to him, that has a jocular connotation and is either meant to pull his chain. Don't go at my throat, answer with something similar, and file it as done.

I mostly agree with your opinion on the use of "handsome" and "pretty" while describing a man. I would never call a man pretty, the word is more commonly used with typical female assets, so it at least sounds funny when you refer to a man. However, you should probably show more regard to other people's linguistic deficites. No, I don't think you're supposed to react like a 10-year-old boy, but you should really be able to let that pass.

 

[YourAvgGuy]

Thank you all for your responses and replies (and yes, I am over the rant now!).

After reading through the thread, I do realize that I made several assumptions and generalizations which have been pointed out. First, it was not my intention to negatively associate people who accept the term of endearment... For those, I apologize. I should have been a more clearer and precise in my comments and less "grouping" as I outlayed here.

I never associated the phrase with the lack of intellectual fortitude, although as I meditate on it I can see where people have conjured those sentiments with specific types of individuals. I do suppose geographical locations and various limited cultural exposure would lend itself to shelter people from having a broader depth of phrases and from whence they are derived. Indeed, it has been interesting....

Metrosexual is also a controversial word for many, yet one that would probably best describe the relationship associated between descriptors that have been shared with me and how I present myself. I am comfortable with that word, as it accurately describes my habits (thanks, Mom!). But, don't get me wrong... it has take a LONG time for me to be there!

My concerns more stem from when individuals constantly use terms that they know you do not like. I have on numerous occassions said... "men are NOT pretty!," but to no avail. This is where the problem comes into play. The women who've used the term where not being ill-fate, at least as some of the definitions here might allude, but were trying, I think, to pay a compliment. Now, for them, maybe dense is too subtle a word to use, especially after my deliberate attempts to educate them on why NOT to use the phrase. They use it anyway. Need I go further??? Some guys have also said it. When confronted about why they call me "pretty boy," they respond that my features are soft... pretty boy look... not rugged or as "sqaure-cut" as theirs - a younger, youthful more look. A compliment?

Ah shit... I am almost to the point of why even bother.......... what I am is what I am and I have never had a complaint about any of it... pretty boy or not.

 

[whatireallywant]

I have used the term, I will admit. But I didn't mean anything derogatory by it. In fact, the men I have called "pretty boys" are the ones I find the MOST attractive! I also did not mean that all they have is their looks. Maybe that would be true in some cases, but not in all, and I don't assume anything. Now, as far as to the men themselves (to their face), I would not say this. I did say to one "pretty boy" who I dated, that he was very good-looking. I've also described him (to other people) as drop-dead gorgeous.

I like metrosexuals, too. As long as they're not too self-absorbed, though. But there's nothing wrong with a guy having good grooming habits and a sense of style - I like that. I'm most likely to be turned off by macho or sexist attitudes.

 

[Matthew]

I've definitely used "pretty" to refer to good-looking men as well as good-looking penises. Should I cut it out?

 

[Principessa]

I always just think of it as a metaphor for metrosexual .

Really? I never think of it in that way. I guess because "metrosexual" is a relatively new term and "pretty boy" has been around since hector was a puppy and he's a big dog now.

There are also men who have an interesting look (my personal favorite) To me interesting look is not a compliment, but that's just me.

I'm never one to say fuck you to a compliment; I have not been called pretty since Kennedy was in office!

No way! I never would have guessed you were old enough to remember Kennedy being in office.

An other word is "cute". Isn't that just the "you're-nice-but-not-great"-word?

No, not at all!

Being called "pretty" wouldn't bother me. I'll take any kind of compliment I can get. I can see why some would not particularly like it, though.

I doubt anybody is going to call me pretty, anyway.

That's because you have classic Nordic handsomeness viking1.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I "hear" subtle distinctions between cute, pretty, beautiful, attractive, handsome, lovely, and gorgeous. So do I! It's interesting that there are so few that relate to "masculine attractiveness" and so many relating to "feminine attractiveness." Hmm, good point, I will have to ruminate on that a bit.

I doubt I would ever refer to a male as pretty, except in the context of pretty boy. As several have mentioned above, it has a negative connotation. For me, pretty boy is someone who looks good (or thinks he does) and has either or both qualities of being too self-absorbed or intellectually lacking to be of any interest . I don't want to piss you off DC_DEEP; but like YAG, you really are quite handsome and smart on a variety of topics. Judging by your gallery pic I would guess that you may have been called a pretty boy more than once by those who didn't know you. Is that why the term is so irksome?

Thank you all for your responses and replies (and yes, I am over the rant now!).

After reading through the thread, I do realize that I made several assumptions and generalizations which have been pointed out. First, it was not my intention to negatively associate people who accept the term of endearment... For those, I apologize. I should have been a more clearer and precise in my comments and less "grouping" as I outlayed here.

Metrosexual is also a controversial word for many, yet one that would probably best describe the relationship associated between descriptors that have been shared with me and how I present myself. I am comfortable with that word, as it accurately describes my habits (thanks, Mom!). But, don't get me wrong... it has take a LONG time for me to be there!

My concerns more stem from when individuals constantly use terms that they know you do not like. I have on numerous occassions said... "men are NOT pretty!," but to no avail. This is where the problem comes into play. Guilty as charged! :redface: I admit when I first called you a pretty boy I genuinely meant it as a compliment. I was rather shocked that you were so diametrically opposed to what I considered a compliment. Especially since I had already determined that you are not just another good looking guy but are also incredbly intelligent, funny , well bred, and VERY nicely hung. The women who've used the term where not being ill-fate, at least as some of the definitions here might allude, but were trying, I think, to pay a compliment. Now, for them, maybe dense is too subtle a word to use, especially after my deliberate attempts to educate them on why NOT to use the phrase. They use it anyway. Need I go further??? Hey, I am NOT DENSE! :tongue: Some guys have also said it. When confronted about why they call me "pretty boy," they respond that my features are soft... pretty boy look... not rugged or as "sqaure-cut" as theirs - a younger, youthful more look. A compliment? YAG, darling I know for a fact I have never described any part of you as being soft.

Ah shit... I am almost to the point of why even bother.......... what I am is what I am and I have never had a complaint about any of it... I should think not. pretty boy or not.

 

[ebb33]

I've just heard someone call a man "beautiful" today. And when I heard that, I thought, that this must be the highest compliment, doesn't it? Although "beautiful" sounds slighty feminine as well, I think that handsome and good-looking, pretty and cute don't refer to such a - dare I say - supernatural beauty. Beautiful would be a term, I'd only use for someone who combines superior attractiveness with uniqueness, charme and personality. For men and women.

Or would there be a better word for what I try to describe? (english isn't my mother-language)