Problem with the GF

B_New End

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However, I just lost about 43lbs & am lighter than I have been in years. BUT it's due to a complete change of diet rather than dieting, per se...and I had to be 'in the zone' to do it. No amount of nagging or teasing made the slightest difference.
Therefore, I reckon that the OP's g/f will lose the excess when she's good & ready NOT before!


And nothing and nobody will help, teasing, support, nagging. It first takes serious introspection. Some people never get out of the obesity trap.
 

ShyGirly

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I think you should do your gf a favour and finish with her. If your not attracted to her its doing neither of you any favours. You can go find someone you are attracted to and she can find someone who loves her for who she is not what dress size she is.
 

lemont77

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I think you should do your gf a favour and finish with her. If your not attracted to her its doing neither of you any favours. You can go find someone you are attracted to and she can find someone who loves her for who she is not what dress size she is.

Well said.

If the weight is too big of an issue and you can't man up and handle yourself, move on.
 

Knight Attrition

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I think you should do your gf a favour and finish with her. If your not attracted to her its doing neither of you any favours. You can go find someone you are attracted to and she can find someone who loves her for who she is not what dress size she is.

Very nice... I love the subtle implication that I am a shallow asshole without coming out and saying it. I suppose that when you date, attraction means nothing to you? You would be perfectly happy with some one carrying around the equivalent to a five year old on their midsection?
 

B_New End

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Well said.

If the weight is too big of an issue and you can't man up and handle yourself, move on.

Man up? Him man up?

The girl needs to lose weight.

The man needs to stop smoking meth.

the woman needs to stop drinking into a stupor.

It's soemthing that needs to be changed, it's unhealthy, and disrespectful.

she can find someone who loves her for who she is not what dress size she is.

Cliche.

Looks are important, and 5'6" 200 lbs, is not attractive.

Anybody who thinks looks are not important, is a liar.
Furthermore, part of who she is, is someone who cannot control her eating.


Do we live in some fantasy land where it's ok to get fat, as long as you look good when you met?

It's ok to quit your job and be a bum, as long as you were employed when you met?

Its ok to become an alcoholic, as long as you were sober when you met?

It's ok to smoke crack, beat your kids, and pick the sores on your face, as long as your were rich, nice, and beautiful when you met?
 

B_New End

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How am I suppose to "man up" should I just suck it up that at 22 she is already 50 lbs overweight?

dude, she is obese.

medically 140 - 150 is edging on overweight. 200 is obese.

I haev dated "thicker" girls, I love girls with ass, and my favorit erange is that edge between healthy and overweight.. I like thick thighs and a soft stomach.

But obese, is obese, is obese.
 

lemont77

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Very nice... I love the subtle implication that I am a shallow asshole without coming out and saying it. I suppose that when you date, attraction means nothing to you? You would be perfectly happy with some one carrying around the equivalent to a five year old on their midsection?

Oh, untie the kink in your sack, dude. You knew what it would sound like when you wrote that post. And EVERYONE knows attraction is a big deal, but it's not JUST physical attraction that we're talking about. If you really CANNOT get over the weight gain, no matter how much you love this girl, then yes, you're a little shallow. But I don't think anyone has necessarily said this is a bad thing.

Be cool. :cool:
 

Principessa

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The problem isn't the girlfriend. The problem is the OP's perception of his girlfriend. His harping on her weight gain is not going to help her to lose weight. That doesn't really matter now since he is dumping her anyway.
 

dolfette

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it's not shallow to want to find your partner attractive.

if it was a temporary, post-natal weight gain it'd be different.

if you say something once, in a polite & sensitive way and it it doesn't go anywhere, you've been reasonable and should feel no guilt in leaving.
 

frizzle

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Well it all depends on the portions of food. Like say you're having a bowl of cereal, instead of putting in 4 weetabix, put in two. Same with sugar 5 teaspoons of sugar is too much, whilst 2 teaspoons is just right.
 

toobig4u

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absolutely correct dolfette - and BTW sorry they made you take your pics off!
Dump her.

it's not shallow to want to find your partner attractive.

if it was a temporary, post-natal weight gain it'd be different.

if you say something once, in a polite & sensitive way and it it doesn't go anywhere, you've been reasonable and should feel no guilt in leaving.
 

Osiris

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Well it all depends on the portions of food. Like say you're having a bowl of cereal, instead of putting in 4 weetabix, put in two. Same with sugar 5 teaspoons of sugar is too much, whilst 2 teaspoons is just right.

Frizzle actually has a very good point. Start with smaller portions and wait 5 minutes in between portions. We are taught to "clean our plate" so that you have more food on it, you push to eat it whether you need it or not. Usually your brain catches up to your stomach and says "Hey, I'm full!" So far it is working for me.

Also to the OP, Yorkie made a very good point about letting her know this is the start of a new chapter. If all you did was mention the weight gain and what it was doing to you without posing some sort of action like "I could walk with you if that would help." or emphasizing that this could be her road back to the old her, it dropped her into a deep depression. I mean getting laid off is enough to drop one into depression, but then to realize your lover who you count on for certain comfort at certain times doesn't find you attractive can plummett someone into a full on bout of depression. It happened to my wife and she is losing the weight, but it is a long haul.

Women would like for men to think they are more than just physical, that we love them for their mind. I'm not saying you don't, but to a woman in a deep depression, that is exactly what it might appear. If this has happened, you are going to need a professional's help and possibly some medication.

I admire your desire to want to help and as Dolfette said, if you have truly done your all and she is discounting what you said, there really is no guilt in leaving. However, I get the idea you really have issues with feeling really shallow. Maybe you can both work on your inner demons and come out a much stronger couple than before. Again, it's hard for any of us to say because we are hearing the one side of this and there are two sides to every story.

Whatever happens, good luck friend.:smile:
 

thick_1

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Well, the best thing I tell you is that you better hope and pray that you never go through some tragedy in your life where you don't get maimed, burned as in a fire, loose a limp, become handy caped, or thyroid stops working and YOU gain weight and all of a sudden are ugly and un attractive...

You are a shallow person. You should do her a favor and break up with her because she is too good for you......