Reluctant Bottom

[aquadude]

I hate being fucked when I'm not facing the guy fucking me (unless we are standing, then I don't mind) But I have never just laid there. I try to keep eye contact as much as I can, sometimes, if its intense enough, I can't help but claw into his back as I'm holding on to him for better thrusting strength. I'm passive, but actively so I guess.

 

[Meniscus]

I'm not experience enough as a top or bottom to comment, but this thread motivated me to post a poll that's been in the back of my mind for several months. For all the guys who posted on this thread, I'd love to get your votes on the poll, and your comments if you feel like commenting.

http://www.lpsg.org/73500-why-some-gay-men-exclusive.html

 

[2322]

My rather tragic sexual history is peppered with me being not-so-nice with a very specific purpose: topping tops. Act masculine, act as though I want him, act like we'll have hot sex except damn, he's a top too. Hmmm... maybe you'd like to try me topping? I'm not big so it's a good way to try it out. I promise I'll be gentle and go slow.

It's a complete power trip and a carefully laid snare. I get guys who are tops and flip them. I like the challenge and the feeling of getting a guy who is ordinarily a top to bottom. I work it right, rub their prostate with my cock and I can can usually get them to love it.

That's part of my sexual history of which I am not proud. I was so terrified, for various reasons, of being submissive that I always topped. I still haven't bottomed beyond a few attempts which failed.

It's remarkable what fear drives us to.

 

[Bbucko]

My rather tragic sexual history is peppered with me being not-so-nice with a very specific purpose: topping tops. Act masculine, act as though I want him, act like we'll have hot sex except damn, he's a top too. Hmmm... maybe you'd like to try me topping? I'm not big so it's a good way to try it out. I promise I'll be gentle and go slow.

It's a complete power trip and a carefully laid snare. I get guys who are tops and flip them. I like the challenge and the feeling of getting a guy who is ordinarily a top to bottom. I work it right, rub their prostate with my cock and I can can usually get them to love it.

That's part of my sexual history of which I am not proud. I was so terrified, for various reasons, of being submissive that I always topped. I still haven't bottomed beyond a few attempts which failed.

It's remarkable what fear drives us to.

Fear or acknowledgment of your limits, Jason?

I''m unclear that there even is such a thing as "evil motives" when it comes to getting the sex you want from the person you want it from (barring honesty about one's health).

I once knew a married couple who'd been together forever, had four kids (all girls, now teenagers...yikes!), rode through many bumps and ups-and-downs. They were both adamant about how they kept the passion in their sexlife: by manipulating the other. And they both insisted that their best sex was when one was positively livid with the other, calling it a "grudgefuck" or even a "hatefuck".

He was also very frank about his wife's attraction to porn (of all varieties), saying that he didn't mind it in the least. "I don't care how you come to the table," he'd say, "as long as you're hungry."

None of my casual hook-ups cares to know the real me; they just want a good fucking (and vice-versa). How could anything as banal as my daily life or my private reflections possibly enhance the experience?

 

[2322]

Fear, because I had to be in control and nothing gives greater satisfaction than controlling the controller. It was a total act from the come-on to the goodbye. I'd be shy, unsure, enthusiastic but seemingly honest, anything to gain trust. It was grudge fucking (rape) by proxy and was a complete use of the guys I fucked for only my own ends even if I made sure they got off in the process. It's scary and a large reason why I stopped having sex for so long. My demons created a man who appeared to be more confident than he was. My need to control was derived of fear, not confidence. I so resented those who did things to me that I re-enacted those acts to gain control of them.

 

[~quicksilver~]

I will let you penetrate me anytime Bbucko!

When I bottom, the last thing I am doing is lying there. When I am fucked, I like to be fucked like a MAN. Grunting, sweating, biting, swearing... all these tend to happen when I am getting fucked. I guess I am what they call an agressive bottom?

 

[D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III]

There are many different conotations to this concept, but was wondering if you big dicked gay guys enjoyed having a guy that is normally a top and turning him into your bottom?

And is the reluctant bottom hotter to deal with than the full on established and willing bottom?

I think that might be considerd rape!

 

[Lex]

I have a thing for topping guys that are masculine and/or bigger than me physically. Love the dynamic switch. As I am a slim, cute 25 yr old, topping an older, muscly, hairy/bearded guy really get me going.

I am with you here, although I can get into topping anyone I think is hot.

But I have to agree with the other poster's comments. I am versatile and have found that topping someone who isn't used to it or isn't really willing is usually a let down. ....

I don't like topping someone who does not want to be topped. I DO like playing the game of "you can't have it/you need to take it" both as top and bottom. This game, of course, only works when there is trust (I play it with my hubby sometimes).

...

3) True versatiles who label themselves as tops because the top/bottom ratio here in SoFla is so skewed (bottoms outnumber tops to a vast extent) and they really do enjoy topping as much as bottoming. ...

Fort Bottomdale strikes again!

...

When I bottom, the last thing I am doing is lying there. When I am fucked, I like to be fucked like a MAN. Grunting, sweating, biting, swearing... all these tend to happen when I am getting fucked. I guess I am what they call an agressive bottom?

Here here!! Hung Muscle and I used to joke that bottoming (and male-male sex in general) should be primal. Who the fuck enjoys any sex partner who just lays there motionless? That would be worse that just fucking a pillow or jerking off. Ugh.

 

[Hockeytiger]

I think that might be considerd rape!

While it is very important to always be mindful of such issues, I suggest not confusing reluctance with lack of consent.

 

[brad8611]

While I understand the sentiment that the physical part of sex would be better with a well established bottom, what about the psychological aspect?

Is there a certain satisfaction from turning a guy into your bottom that is either unsure or does not picture himself in a submissive role?

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

Im curious,, what is the "top?" the one fucking the dude? and more aggressive?
and the bottom is the one that is more "docile" 'Submissive? likes to "be fucked"???
Explain please!!!

 

[Principessa]

Im curious,, what is the "top?" the one fucking the dude? and more aggressive?
and the bottom is the one that is more "docile" 'Submissive? likes to "be fucked"???
Explain please!!!

You are half right. The top is the one doing the fucking also known as the pitcher. The bottom is the one being fucked, sometimes known as the catcher. Being a bottom does not make a gay man submissive by any stretch of the imagination.

 

[Principessa]

While it is very important to always be mindful of such issues, I suggest not confusing reluctance with lack of consent.

Excellent point! However that is a fine line which many don't see until it has been crossed. :frown1:

 

[B_Italian1]

You are half right. The top is the one doing the fucking also known as the pitcher. The bottom is the one being fucked, sometimes known as the catcher. Being a bottom does not make a gay man submissive by any stretch of the imagination.

Pitcher and catcher? Never heard that before. And some want to be submissive.

 

[Hockeytiger]

You are half right. The top is the one doing the fucking also known as the pitcher. The bottom is the one being fucked, sometimes known as the catcher. Being a bottom does not make a gay man submissive by any stretch of the imagination.

You are definitely correct, but I'd like to add a point of clarification to the last sentance. I would add the word "necessarily" in between the words "not" and "make" to read "Being a bottom does not necessarily make a gay man submissive..." During my experimentation in college with a teammate, I bottomed a few times (and in accordance with this thread, let it be known, I was VERY reluctant the first time, let me tell you). It turns out, part of the turn on of the act for me was the act of submission to another strong tough man. As a jock, it certainly was a role I had never really played before (being submissive that is) and it was an interesting and enlightening change. But I agree that, a guy can absolutely bottom without being submissive, and even if he is, it doesn't make him submissive beyond that act. It certainly doesn't become a character trait.

Excellent point! However that is a fine line which many don't see until it has been crossed. :frown1:

I wish I could disagree with you. I really do. :frown1:

 

[Bbucko]

Pitcher and catcher? Never heard that before. And some want to be submissive.

It's an old old old expression, but still aptly descriptive.

People come in all different shades and permutations, but it is incorrect to presume that bottoms are automatically submissive. Many are, but most are pretty aggressive.

I know that you dislike the term, but "powerbottom" refers to someone who is extremely aggressive while being fucked: they are hardly whimpering pillow-biters.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

I always associated the word "powerbottom" with their abilities to take extremely large items within them. Not necessarily loud or aggressive, but WOW could they sit on that dildoe without a problem!

 

[Bbucko]

I always associated the word "powerbottom" with their abilities to take extremely large items within them. Not necessarily loud or aggressive, but WOW could they sit on that dildoe without a problem!

I once described an encounter with a (perhaps too) aggressive powerbottom as feeling like I'm "fucking a milk machine" :biggrin1: .

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

You are half right. The top is the one doing the fucking also known as the pitcher. The bottom is the one being fucked, sometimes known as the catcher. Being a bottom does not make a gay man submissive by any stretch of the imagination.

LOL

a reply from a Woman?
How do you even know this?
i want to hear from a Gay man!

 

[hotbtminla]

I keep looking at this thread trying to remember a point in which I've ever been reluctant. I mean, statistically speaking it must have happened. Right? Hmm.