suicide solution?

[Osiris]

Thank you (I think), but I don't know that most people agree that I'm very upbeat or nice all the time. However, I think someone else mentioned this-- people who are mentally ill are excellent at not showing how sick they are or that anything is wrong. Mental illness is not well understood and being treated as though you're lazy, weak, or just plain nuts makes things worse, so we get good at pretending to be okay. I'd rather hold my shit together, smile, and laugh as if I was feeling fine than have my mother in law tell me one more time to suck it up. The other thing is, we're not always sick, and if we are, it's not always incapacitating. Sometimes it's not there, sometimes it's a background noise, and there are levels of severity all the way up to incapacitation that we experience at different times.

Anyway, thanks again.

You have always been with me so thank YOU. :smile:

 

[lafever]

I would never give anyone that hates me the satisfaction, and i`d be lying if i said i never thought about it. I think we`d all like to be missed if we were gone.


lafever

 

[avantgarde]

Thought about it in my early to mid teens. A lot of family and Social issues.

I was too much of a chicken to go through with it though. What if I actually played this out and became rich. What if I overcame this obstacle and was a better person from it. What if, what if, what if...

I always was a programmed optimist. I tend to find the good in things, and i would always hope for a better day. "Just make it through this day, tomorrow will be better"

When i look back on it now, i was REALLY depressed about things that i couldn't control. If i had taken my own life then, it would have been a great loss to me, my future, and my family.

 

[36DD]

Thought about it in my early to mid teens. A lot of family and Social issues.

I was too much of a chicken to go through with it though. What if I actually played this out and became rich. What if I overcame this obstacle and was a better person from it. What if, what if, what if...

I always was a programmed optimist. I tend to find the good in things, and i would always hope for a better day. "Just make it through this day, tomorrow will be better"

When i look back on it now, i was REALLY depressed about things that i couldn't control. If i had taken my own life then, it would have been a great loss to me, my future, and my family.

When my normal sanity returns, I often feel grateful as well that I did not take such drastic measures...but in that moment when you feel all alone it is hard to hang on but that is what we must try to do. My favorite word in the whole world is "hope" I have the phrase painted on my wall over my dresser and I wear a necklace that says "hope". It is the one thing I lean on when I am at my lowest of low point. I am an optimist too, and I think that's why it is so hard for others to understand the true depth of my depression. I'm glad you are still here too.

 

[Drifterwood]

I have found this story extremely distressing.

BBC NEWS | England | Dead girl's mother 'found dead'

 

[BIGBULL29]

Society does not like to talk about suicide or depression. It's a very taboo subject. People like to think that they have it all together. The reality is that many people who think they are happy are really not. We are raised to give the impression that everything if fine. It's part of the culture.

For example, people sometimes say "Smile!" to people who look and act depressed. If that isn't a stupid thing to say... Smiling doesn't take depression away. People's ignorance is unbearable...

 

[viking1]

For example, people sometimes say "Smile!" to people who look and act depressed. If that isn't a stupid thing to say... Smiling doesn't take depression away. People's ignorance is unbearable...

Yeah, sometimes when people say that to me I feel like clobbering them, and then saying "why don't you try frowning for a while"...

 

[frizzle]

I have found this story extremely distressing.

BBC NEWS | England | Dead girl's mother 'found dead'

I find that sad. As human beings we should be able to move on from tragedies and not inflict other tragedies on one another.

 

[BIGBULL29]

I find that sad. As human beings we should be able to move on from tragedies and not inflict other tragedies on one another.

Some people can't move on from tragedies. It's just not that simple.

 

[earllogjam]

Anyway, thanks again.

Thanks for shedding some light on that Snoozan. I think it is a very poorly understood illness for the general public because it was always put in the dark as something shameful and untreatable. In all the posts of yours I have read there is no trace of you being depressed or maudlin so yeah I am suprised. To clarify - I wanted to say that I'm glad you are here at LPSG. Not glad that you are still alive. Errr...Well, I'll just take my foot out of my mouth now. You know what I mean.

 

[Mem]

I've never considered doing it. I would do self euthanasia if I was terminally ill and in pain.

 

[avg_joe]

anyone ever thought about suicide?
the reason I ask is that I was reading "Mens Health" Magazine today, and it said that something like 40% of men have considered suicide.
how bout you?

Never.

 

[SyddyKitty]

Yea, while I was younger. These days, I have to deal with a suicidal mom, so my thoughts don't stray towards this anymore. :x However, depression and loneliness are still strong in my life.

Edit: Eva's and Snoozan's posts are amazing here.
Also, to the one that can't see how attempts fail. People can back out part-way through. Some people that try the OD method don't always die from ODing. My mom is the latter.

 

[Principessa]

I'd like to hear more about people's experience of depression. How bad is it?

A friend of mine who works in mental health told me that if you can reach the age of 30-35 without any signs of mental illness then it's extremely unlikely to affect you ever.

That can't possibly be right. I was diagnosed with mild anxiety and situational depression at the age of 32. I am currently in group therapy with a number of people who weren't diagnosed until they were in their 40's.

Some people can recover from that state but many can't. They see some improvement in the disease whether because of drugs or therapy but then they slip back a bit because recovery isn't a perfectly straight line from the bottom up. It's that slip back into nothingness that kills you. The horror of becoming an empty shell again is just too much and then your brain literally tells you that it's time to die to escape it. There's no control over it, it's not a cry for help. I'd be dead if a delivery person I had no idea was coming hadn't happened upon me. :frown1:

In its final stages everything goes away, any sensation of being alive ceases. Death just seems so eminently sensible, the next logical, the only next step to take.

And that's the rationale of someone who isn't in their right mind.
YES! That's it exactly! That's how I felt when I tried to commit suicide in the 7th grade. :frown1:
I can understand your anger because being someone with major depression means, naturally, that you know other people with major depression and some of them will die from it. Before it happened to me, I was angry at the one girl I had ever loved for killing herself. Now I too know what she went through and I have no anger or blame. It's like blaming someone for dying of cancer. You fight as hard as you can. Some win, some lose.

I hesitate to say this because it's extremely close to part of myself I don't like to reveal, but at that point, suicide is actually selfless in the mind of those who reach that point. They see themselves as a burden, someone causing concern and tension in their home, not contributing to life in any way, taking-up space and resources better spent on someone else. You know you're supposed to love some people but the disease convinces you that they'll carry on much more happily without you. By dying you're doing them a favor. It's a slow and agonizing death which suicide only completes with as much importance as a period at the end of book.

If this wasn't true, I wouldn't say it. It's horrible to say and think but it IS true. Suicides kill themselves as much for themselves as for everyone else because that's how the disease makes the brain rationalize the act. I remember that feeling, and it is sometimes the only thing that keeps me fighting this damned depression.

 

[Rikter8]

Wheres the attempted button.

Every day, several times a day.

 

[davidjh7]

I first considered suicide at about 8. I first attempted at 10. I have posted on this topic before. For approximately 95% of my life, I have wished, prayed, begged or otherwise wanted to die every day. I have seen cousilors and psychologists. After explaining the reasons behind my feelings, and asking to try some form of anti-depressant, one tried it to o effect--good or bad. Another told me I was suffering from "situational depression", not chemical...funny, most life long depression usually IS chemical....sad to hear the counsilor say, basically" Your depressed because your situation sucks" Gee, thanks, doc, for validating my depression.. I never succeeded, obviously, in my suicide attempts because, ultimately, I have never wanted to die, I just wanted to stop the continuous pain I felt everyday, that I only escaped through sleep. Also, I have always been motivated by what is best for others, never for myself. So, I had responsibilites and obligations to fullfill, and always have. And I couldn;t be allowed to "check out" until I had fullfilled all those responsibilities, which you never do in life. I did have an epiphany not too long ago, though, and don;t wish for death everyday now. Interestingly, the one thing that really keeps me alive, is knowing that I DO have the choice to end it, if things get too intolerable. THis gives me a strange form of comfort. I know how I will do it. I planned it very carefully after considering multiple methods. I consulted with experts in physiology, weapos experts, etc. I studied information from medical examiners in suicide deaths. I have multiple fail safes, such that if I screw up in the initial part, there are backups naturally in place that will complete the act for me. Without others involved. Is suicide selfish? Of course--it is the msot selfish act in the world. It is the one thing in your life you have control over. It is the one thing that you do solely for yourself, unless t is done in a fit of momentary distress. When it is a lifelong consideration, it is not a moment of momentary distress. But it is a way out, the ultimate, final way out, when you have no other way out but a life of pain--physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise. Those who have never suffered from chronic, and I mean YEARS of day after day depression, I don;t think can understand the motivations, and the feelings. Everybody gets sad, and has down days. That is normal, and healthy. Depression is a total meltdown of balance in your life--real, or perceived. You reach a point where you can no longer see good, where you can no longer feel good, no matter how much you want to. Humans are complicated creatures, and we may never understand all the reasons behind our thoughts and actions. But pain of any kind shouldn;t be trivilized by others---when you are hurting, in whatever form, that hurt consumes you for as long as you hurt. To putit in perspective for those who don;t "get it", consider if someone gave you a paper cut--and poured lemon juice on it---and the cut never healed, and the lemon juice came just often enough, that you never became desensitized. You could probably function, and be useful. But you would be hurting. Always. Every minute. Until you were unconscience, but as soon as you woke up, it would start again. The constant pain eventually gets to you, and you look for a way out--you ry various things, but nothing works, until you contemplate the ultimate way out. THat is as close to a description as I can give of what it is like to suffer from chronic depression--you do NOT want to feel that way, but you just can't find a way to heal it.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Every time I visit this website...

 

[bigdog83]

honestly many times. Almost tried earlier this year and about drove myself into a moving train. Thank gosh I sobered up when I saw my son's car seat in the back of the car when looking around. I thought was a stupid selfish thing to do.

I don't want my child growing up without a mom too. But this last year has been hard. My brothers cancer, my mom's health issues, my own, taking care of grandma with no breaks 24/7. I was overloaded at the time. Also leaving my abusive husband/lazy ass who refused to work that year and also coming to grips with not being able to work myself. You lose your independance and it sucks. I am much better now and much stronger for it!

I went on an antidepressant (refill from last year for another condition) and felt much better in a month. A lot of reason I do post on my medical condition is for education of others and a way for myself to vent since I am basically homebound right now.

Anyhow, I see a brighter future. Hopefully good health, raise a happy well adjusted child and hopefully go back to school, be a patient advocate or if possible go to medical school. My goal and my life has always been devoted to helping others. That's why I was a volunteer First Responder/EMT for 9 years and also worked in a hospital for close to 12 years total.

never leave your son!!!! he needs you!!!!!

but yes i have thought about it, even a few ways of how to do it. but ive never actually sat there ready to do it. the good voice will always say wth are you thinking, life is too good. on a side note, ive lost 2 good child hood friends from it. and i mean the one i knew since i couldnt even walk. we were always close. then my other friend i met in 6th grade and was super good buds with him. i still consider their parents friends and stop by once in a while and my parents actually still talk to one of them.

 

[B_New End]

NIMH · Suicide in the U.S.: Statistics and Prevention

suicide is 4 times higher amongst men than women,

gay men, in particular, are a high risk group, which could explain the poll results a bit.


Suicide is stupid, and anybody that commits it, is stupid. I've been close to stupid before.

 

[ZOS23xy]

In regardsw to what i do for my "depressions" one is that I have several mild allergies and watching my diet tends to eliminate some woonkyness.

Since I'm allegic to soy, peanutes, cats and coconut oil, I have to watch what I eat, list ingredients and avoid visiting people with cats. Since I am allergic to hops, I don't drink beer.

I also meditate for half and hour to or more each day. I use tapes, audio/visual machines and herbal mixtures.

I had been on medication briefly back 25 years and found the meditation to be easier to deal with, cost effective and the excuse of "I need to put my head back in order" easily understood.

I've been close to stupid too. My family more than I would care to admit to them so led me to feelings of inadequency than anything else. But I see now at this distant time a group of people that simply didn't know any better, despite what they knew then and what they know now. And they still don't know any better.