the "friend zone"

[johnlucas-1]

Hey, I remember you! You're the guy that used to make the really long posts about how men with small cocks are responsible for war!

You all can mock me all you want.
It doesn't make what I say any less true.

And you misunderstand my whole reason for studying self-image issues.
Poor social relations lead to war not specifically small penises.
Sexual relations are a portion of social relations so improving sexual issues in turn improves social issues.
Why is that mock-worthy?

It's all an ecology.
All poisons put into a society will show up in that society's future.
All goodwill put into a society will show up in that society's future.
We all got to live here so I choose goodwill.

The problem with solving sexual issues is lack of honesty in the discussion.
Also lack of definition of what contributes to an issue.
Nobody talks clearly & there's so much confusion.
That's why you have all these guys constantly coming here asking endless questions that never get resolved.
That's why you have all these guys constantly coming here for validation.

I'm just a regular guy using what brain I have to come up with some tangible answers that work in every situation.
Universal answers.

In regards to the penis size issue specifically, I found that everybody's talking about size but nobody has even defined what size is what yet.
The most basic step. Just through observation I came up with that.
How come nobody else has touched on this?

And subjects like this topic on "the friend zone" I sought to clear up just as well.
And I'm not the only one who came to this conclusion.
Scientists have studied this & said the same.

Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"
Why Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"
Just Friends? Guys Reveal Sexual Interest in Gal Pals
What Harry told Sally was right: Why a man can never be just friends with a woman...attraction gets in the way

And here are two accounts from WOMEN who say the same.

Why Can't Married Men and Women Be Friends?
The Real Reason Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends

And lastly an article written by a man AND a woman coming to the same conclusion independently.

Can You Be Just Friends With the Opposite Sex?

Laugh at me.
Mock me.
In the end, I'm still right.

Cannot Deny Biology.
Human beings cannot fly by flapping their arms like birds.
Men & Women cannot be "platonic friends" (unless attraction is muted for one reason or another—vast age difference, has a spouse, somebody's gay, simply not attracted physically, and so on).

Fantasy's fun but ya gotta deal with reality sometime or other.
John Lucas

 

[fluffychocolate]

:whispers: I wasn't wearing pants yesterday.

Aha ... you fell into my trap! You should have known ... I only made you laugh to get in your pants! *evil laughter follows*

 

[Penis Aficionado]

:whispers: I wasn't wearing pants yesterday.

No wonder we can't be friends with women ... they're always walking around without pants!

 

[Brisler]

I'm gonna ask you this question.
Has any woman that aroused your lust ever become just your "good platonic buddy"?
John Lucas

Yes, and I have seen it happen to plenty of my friends as well.

 

[johnlucas-1]

Yes, and I have seen it happen to plenty of my friends as well.

How much proximity did you or your friends have to this person on a regular basis in order for it to become just "platonic" buddies?

The fact that you admitted lusting for a woman & then LATER becoming "platonic" underscores what I posted in those links.
There has to be a separation or a block somewhere for it happen.
There's going to be some "kept at arms-length" kind of thing going on or some natural/artificial barrier.
Maybe you talk on the phone every now & then from distant parts of the country.
Maybe there's spouses involved on both sides.

You can't spend a whole lot of time together one on one with who you lusted for & just be platonic.
There's always sexual tension in these kinds of things.

If you currently have a wife or a girlfriend, would your wife/girlfriend trust you in the company of this female platonic buddy?
Would your wife/girlfriend trust you in the company of this female platonic buddy without your wife/girlfriend being present?
Would your wife/girlfriend trust you spending A LOT of time on a FREQUENT basis with your female platonic buddy alone?
One on one like say having lunch together or coming over to do repairs on her house or watching movies together on the DVD player or going to sporting events like buddies do?

My take on this would be hell no.

I'm sensing so much dishonesty in this thread.
I'm wondering if people are trying to tell themselves this is possible & that's why my posts on the subject are being mocked.
I just don't buy it.
John Lucas

 

[Brisler]

If you currently have a wife or a girlfriend, would your wife/girlfriend trust you in the company of this female platonic buddy?
Would your wife/girlfriend trust you in the company of this female platonic buddy without your wife/girlfriend being present?
Would your wife/girlfriend trust you spending A LOT of time on a FREQUENT basis with your female platonic buddy alone?
One on one like say having lunch together or coming over to do repairs on her house or watching movies together on the DVD player or going to sporting events like buddies do?

John Lucas

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes

Brisler

 

[johnlucas-1]

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes

Brisler

OK. If you say so. :smile:

There's lots of people who believe the same as you do until the inevitable happens.

I'm gonna end this reply with a series of FEMALE Facebook comments from the article written by Wendy Widom (of Families in the Loop) at ChicagoNow.com Why Can't Married Men and Women Be Friends?

Jenna Karvundis August 3, 2012

A friend of mine had an affair and she said, "you don't think it's going to happen to you. It starts under the most innocent of circumstances, but one day the thought gets in your mind that you want to have sex with that person and the next thing you know you're in a motel after dropping the kids off at school".

I try to live through other peoples' mistakes. I'd like to think that could never be me, but she didn't think it could ever be her. I also never thought I'd let a baby cry.

Tandra Lanier August 3, 2012

One of my husband's best friends is a woman. I don't like the relationship. They met in college, starting off trying to date, but kept "missing" each other in terms of being available to have a relationship, and ended up just being friends. He treats her the same way he does me... By that I mean sans having sex, they might as well be spouses. I've told him that it's inappropriate to carry on a relationship like that with another woman being as he's married, but he brushes it off and makes excuses about why it's okay for her to be on the same level as me even though I'm his wife and she is just a friend. I don't feel like they should So I tough it out, since I'm married and I'm supposed to stick by my husband. Does it create problems? Yes it does. So my point to all this is to be realistic about having this kind of relationship. Is it REALLY platonic, does your spouse feel like they are sharing you with the other person, are boundaries being crossed? You shouldn't be answering yes to those questions. Also, if the spouse and friend don't interact in anyway, that's a problem also. Speaking from experience. To the author, my personal opinion on your specific experience - I would be uncomfortable with you continuing friendships with men you made out with in the past. That goes beyond casual to me.

Lisa Brousil Blackman August 7, 2012

Hmmmm...there is not one time in my life that I haved ever had a close male friend that didn't think about sleeping with me, or sometimes vice versa. Some of them would jump at the chance if I ever gave it to them...others were content enough in their own relationships that they wouldn't take that chance. I'm not saying that things aren't different for other people, or can't be. But Dave's right about the "friends" we have that we are also attracted to being prime choices to want to date or marry. Those are usually the people you end up falling for and wanting to spend the rest of your life with under the proper circumstances. The relationships that I've noticed work the most, or even the longest, are always with the guy or girl who has always been "the best friend." Which also leads to the point that there's more to it than just attraction. That is really only the beginning!

Virginia Llorca August 18, 2012

Mother nature's agenda. Get that egg to that sperm. Fight it with all your might, but chances are some... Well you know where I'm going with this. And, I am a granny. I've been there, done that. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's just my husband. Or maybe it's just my husband's guy pals. I even suspect to this day my best friend hitting on my husband. She was always trying to get next to something.

John Lucas

 

[Brisler]

OK. If you say so. :smile:

There's lots of people who believe the same as you do until the inevitable happens.

John Lucas

Listen up, John.

According to my perception, you are mixing things up. But I can understand your theory. I don't doubt that it does apply to a lot of men and women, and that it applies to you. I don't think that makes you a horrible person or anything. And I don't think the theory is laughable, as long as you keep it subjective. But the problem is that you are speaking on behalf of the entire human race. The way you present it, it represents a universal truth, an essential characteristic of human nature. When you present it like that, it can easily be disproven, because there are walking examples of the opposite everywhere.

Claiming that people who dispute your theory are liars is extremely arrogant.

I have attractive female friends. They are all friends of my girlfriend as well. And I will never - ever - have sex with them, so none of these friendships will "inevitably" lead to infidelity. And this is a fact.