The perfect "first" date

[curious_angel]

Since it's come up I thought I'd give a more complete account of that awful blind date. Perhaps average_d can get some tips on what to look for it starts going terrible.............

*insert huge yawn emoticon*

Why pretend that you think this blow-by-blow account helps anyone but yourself?

 

[basincreek]

I have no suggestions. I just don't date anymore.

Because you found your guy or because you gave up?

BC, that was a BLIND DATE! Chances of getting along well and having chemistry with someone you've never met before are actually pretty slim. Dates work much better with people you've gotten to know and like before-hand (or so I've heard. I've not been on too many dates myself).

True.

Your posts (those I have read) so far suggest to me that your definition of an alpha male could well include concepts that I would consider non-alpha behaviours, like bossiness, unwarranted commandeering, hostility and misplaced aggression.

As I said in the 'alpha male' thread, that's not an alpha male, that's a little boy doing what he thinks an alpha does because he feels intimidated by other men and wants to intimidate them instead. As many others pointed out in that thread, an alpha male is confident, already assured of his position and, for the most part, never needs to fight for it.

I agree with your definition of an "alpha male."

I have no idea from your story if the man you claim your stripper date left with was an alpha male or not. My guess is that he wasn't.

I don't think he was either. I do think my date wanted one though and I screwed it up by not being assertive or self assured enough. But, in hindsight, since we obviously had nothing in common the whole thing was probably doomed anyways.

Actually, my guess is that the whole event as you depict it is an exaggeration of an actual event if not an outright lie. I could have believed it if you had not added the 'saving a little old lady's cat made me late for my date, unable to pick her up and badly dressed' part.

I live in a town filled with old people, who are often alone, and have pets. Such an event with a pet is not that uncommon. Neither is me showing up badly dressed, unfortunately.

It's bollocks, bc. You seem to be here to have some kind of a pity party and you want to engage the women here and have them tell you what a nice and attractive man you are. You seize on every opportunity to sell your sob story, even to the point of hijacking this guy's thread. I have no opinion on whether you are nice or attractive. You do appear to me to be a manipulator. I can avoid you, and I probably will, but I do hate to see some of the genuinely helpful types here at LPSG being conned into feeding your appetite for pity.

This is hardly a "sob" story. Having a bad date with a woman I had nothing in common with was unfortunate but not anything anyone should be "sobbing" over. That stuff just happens and we have to deal with it.

*insert huge yawn emoticon*

Why pretend that you think this blow-by-blow account helps anyone but yourself?

I hoped the lesson would be that there may not be any chemistry there and if there isn't you probably won't be able to rescue the situation. That it probably will be best to just move on.

 

[SilverTrain]

Hey girls,

I'm a 20 year old college kid, and asked this girl out today, to see if she wanted to go out on a date next week. We've been talking for a little while, flirtatious stuff, and there's chemistry between as (as we have mutual friends and have partied together before--it's always flirtatious conversation, back and forth).

So, with that said, was just wondering what a "perfect" first date would be. How do I impress her, but at the same time, not scare her away from trying to hard. A simple drink at a pub? OR a casual dinner someplace or other.

It's probably a silly question, but oh well.. don't reem me out for it!

Not a silly question at all.

Note: I'm not a girl.

Second Note: I'm answering your question anyway.

Two options:

1) Drinks; or

2) Dinner.

The former could (often does) entail alcoholic beverages consumed at a bar, pub, club, or other watering hole. It certainly does not have to involve alcohol. Coffee, tea or any other soft drinks can make for a perfectly enjoyable diversion whilst the two of you converse and get to know each other better. Alcohol has the (dis?)advantage of lessening inhibitions, which often allows for a bit more adventure in the disclosure department. Obviously, too much booze can create problems. But having a drink or two is a time-tested method of making an initial determination as to compatibility and desirability in a socially safe environment, with relatively low level of risk (not much expense, either party can generally leave, etc.)

Committing to a full meal means investing more in the date (financially, time-wise, and possibly emotionally). But, from my point of view, the potential rewards are well worth it. I love the dinner date. Taking a previously-made point that the actual eating of food can represent a distraction to social discourse, I have found that this is most often the case in instances wherein the parties are incompatible and uncomfortable. If everyone is relaxed (have a glass of vino!), and intent on having a good time, a dinner date can be a lot of fun. And I find this to be true even if one or both of you decide not to pursue further dating. The key is to pick an interesting restaurant, which has excellent cuisine and an engaging atmosphere. There will thusly be plenty to talk about ("that gruyere is fantastic!", "how can you bring yourself to eat lamb?!!", "did you see that guy get water thrown in his face?", ""I believe the ancient Phoenicians used that for flour", "my ex-wife did the art decoration in this place", "John Holmes ate here the night he died".......). Of course, that's only if the focus of the conversation has strayed off the subject of the two of you. Which may or may not happen. But it's nice to be able to veer away from the topic of yourselves for awhile, and the right dining ambience can provide the perfect milieu for that. You can have a quick 45-minute meal and get on to other things, or you can indulge in a three hour dining epic that includes several courses, sharing your food with one another, pre- and post-dinner beverages, dessert, cigars, a sidetrip to the piano lounge, a walk on the promenade, and/or a bit of romantic entangling on the pier.

Ask someone who's had some experience with dining and dating for a recommendation as to the right restaurant. And then, go have a good time.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I think MOST women would agree that a "perfect date" has little to do with where it's at or how much money is spent and a lot more to do with the conversation and the person she's with. Do something neutral, don't go over the top. No movies. Dinner, drinks, coffee, something. Just engage her mentally. Keep the conversation going, ask open-ended questions that she can't give a simple "yes or no" answer to. Share some information about yourself, but try to make it more about her. Get to know her.

 

[curious_angel]

......

Note: I'm not a girl.......

True.

.....You can have a quick 45-minute meal and get on to other things..........

45-mins? Is that a quarter pounder with cheese and a nibble of your French fries?

 

[SilverTrain]

True.




45-mins? Is that a quarter pounder with cheese and a nibble of your French fries?

Stow your "American dining" jokes or you'll never get to the ST 3-hour epic. Much less, "on to other things." You hot, sexy bitch. :tongue:

 

[SilverTrain]

Sorry, did I say that last bit out loud?

 

[Serial Kisser]

Advice from the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger :

" When it comes to dating, coffee is cheap, lunch is an interview, drinks are an audition, and dinner is romance."

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

The perfect first date for me was one that ended with a fuck - interestingly, quite a number of girls I went out with when young used to say "I never have sex on the first date" then a few hours later, when we got back to my flat or theirs, were fucking happily. And why not?

 

[average_d]

Thought I'd give everyone an update:

So, I went out on the first date, it was great... We went to a little pub, had a beer, and shared an honest 3 hours of non-stop conversation.

I walked her home, and she leaned in for the kiss (that's a first for me), and I of course gave in and kissed her back.

I thought I'd give it a couple days before I called her back for another date.. and on the fourth night, I get a text and it's her. She said she had a wonderful time and was wondering if I were interested in going out again, so, I of course agreed and we went out again last night.

I'm not usually one to hook up on second dates, however, I could sense that she was interested, with subtle touches to my leg, thigh, arm and etc.

So, when I walked her home last night (yes, the date was last night), she invited me in for another drink.

We were sitting on the couch and we started kissing, (I made the first move), and it went great. And if you must know, we never had sex, just foreplay (sex on the second date is not for me).

She asked me to stay the night, but I decided I'd go home.

So, it's been pretty fun getting to know her and everything, and seeing as she texted me this morning, I know it's going pretty well. She mentioned that she'd like to go out again sometime next week, I said monday would be great, and there you have it.

It's weird though, I'm a bit of a nerd (an english-grad student in Canada), but I really try to be as humble as possible, and so far, doing so has scored me a gorgeous girl... and I mean gorgeous...

Thanks for all of the replies btw! 5 pages of responses! woah!

 

[Sassy]

Great to hear! My favorite dates were always those that were tailored to our interests and low key: music performances, comedy clubs, dancing, coffee dates, picnics at the park, miniature golf, etc. One guy cooked for me. A memorable first date gift was a chocolate cake, premier chocolate, and chocolate chip cookies (he found out I liked chocolate).


Sounds like you're doing great !:smile2:

 

[Empathizer]

Advice from the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger :

" When it comes to dating, coffee is cheap, lunch is an interview, drinks are an audition, and dinner is romance."

This is why Jews still exist. My people can come up with a reason to eat no matter what. .... :wink:

 

[Serial Kisser]

Thought I'd give everyone an update:

So, I went out on the first date, it was great... We went to a little pub, had a beer, and shared an honest 3 hours of non-stop conversation.

I walked her home, and she leaned in for the kiss (that's a first for me), and I of course gave in and kissed her back.

I thought I'd give it a couple days before I called her back for another date.. and on the fourth night, I get a text and it's her. She said she had a wonderful time and was wondering if I were interested in going out again, so, I of course agreed and we went out again last night.

I'm not usually one to hook up on second dates, however, I could sense that she was interested, with subtle touches to my leg, thigh, arm and etc.

So, when I walked her home last night (yes, the date was last night), she invited me in for another drink.

We were sitting on the couch and we started kissing, (I made the first move), and it went great. And if you must know, we never had sex, just foreplay (sex on the second date is not for me).

She asked me to stay the night, but I decided I'd go home.

So, it's been pretty fun getting to know her and everything, and seeing as she texted me this morning, I know it's going pretty well. She mentioned that she'd like to go out again sometime next week, I said monday would be great, and there you have it.

It's weird though, I'm a bit of a nerd (an english-grad student in Canada), but I really try to be as humble as possible, and so far, doing so has scored me a gorgeous girl... and I mean gorgeous...

Thanks for all of the replies btw! 5 pages of responses! woah!

That sounds awesome. I'm glad it went well. And from a girl who doesn't have sex on the first or second date, it's nice to hear of a guy who has restraint. Sometimes, I get tired of having to say no. I want the guy to. <3

 

[basincreek]

That's really good to hear. I'm glad it worked out and sounds like it's going in a good direction.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Great to hear it all worked out. Sounds like you had nothing to worry about :smile:

 

[basincreek]

Keep us updated if anything new happens. I mean unless you don't want to. Everyone has a right to privacy.