To say.

[Doranq]

Would you ever just say out loud to him during sex that his dick is small? Or even just tell him outside the bedroom. Whether it be ONS, BF, FWB, Fiance, Husband, w/e.
YES/NO & WHY?

 

[693987]

Would you ever just say out loud to him during sex that his dick is small? Or even just tell him outside the bedroom. Whether it be ONS, BF, FWB, Fiance, Husband, w/e.
YES/NO & WHY?

I've had BDSM play partners who were into SPH, and also were into chastity. They did not get to fuck me, but I did other things for them, and I did tell them their dicks were small. A one off sexual encounter the guy did genuinely have the smallest penis I have ever seen, as well as being one of the most lack luster sexual partners I've ever been with. I did not tell him his dick was small, but due to him being lazy, having no staying power, etc I was never intimate with him again.

I know that many men have a lot of their ego wrapped up in their body, as do many women. I don't tend to want to be cruel, so while I will be honest, I will be as nice as possible about it. For example, my partner has started having more body hair, and I already had had discussions with him about body hair for either of us. Neither of us like it on him (and mine is minimal to non-existent naturally), and I've pointed out that he is getting more body hair. I did not tell him during any kind of sexual intimacy, because I do not think that is the time or place. If memory serves correctly, I told him when we were showering together.

The long and the short of it is that I tend to be a very honest, open person. I also try not to hurt people's feelings, for the most part. I especially try not to be cruel. That being said, I lean more towards the honesty more than treading on eggshells.

 

[AlteredEgo]

They already know it is small if it is small. They do not always seem to know it is big when it is big, and sometimes think it is small when it is really kind of middling in size. I like to make measurements, so size comes up. Once I have settled the part of my mind that needs to know the dimensions of things I can see, I really do not need to being up size unless there is a problem, and in my experience, the only problems I had to bring up were about a mismatched fit where the penis is too big for me and I need more time or sessions to adjust. That particular problem has come up a whole lot. I might tell a man his dimensions in numbers, but to assign a category? Only if he asks.

 

[Doranq]

I've had BDSM play partners who were into SPH, and also were into chastity. They did not get to fuck me, but I did other things for them, and I did tell them their dicks were small. A one off sexual encounter the guy did genuinely have the smallest penis I have ever seen, as well as being one of the most lack luster sexual partners I've ever been with. I did not tell him his dick was small, but due to him being lazy, having no staying power, etc I was never intimate with him again.

I know that many men have a lot of their ego wrapped up in their body, as do many women. I don't tend to want to be cruel, so while I will be honest, I will be as nice as possible about it. For example, my partner has started having more body hair, and I already had had discussions with him about body hair for either of us. Neither of us like it on him (and mine is minimal to non-existent naturally), and I've pointed out that he is getting more body hair. I did not tell him during any kind of sexual intimacy, because I do not think that is the time or place. If memory serves correctly, I told him when we were showering together.

The long and the short of it is that I tend to be a very honest, open person. I also try not to hurt people's feelings, for the most part. I especially try not to be cruel. That being said, I lean more towards the honesty more than treading on eggshells.

You said you tend to be very honest and try not to hurt people's feelings but you also said you try to especially to not be cruel? What do you mean by that? I ask because it'd be a given to me given the preceding sentence.Though you did touch on the cruel aspect twice. Am I reading too far into it? Also if you don't want to go further into it,(should there even be anything) that's cool too.

They already know it is small if it is small. They do not always seem to know it is big when it is big, and sometimes think it is small when it is really kind of middling in size. I like to make measurements, so size comes up. Once I have settled the part of my mind that needs to know the dimensions of things I can see, I really do not need to being up size unless there is a problem, and in my experience, the only problems I had to bring up were about a mismatched fit where the penis is too big for me and I need more time or sessions to adjust. That particular problem has come up a whole lot. I might tell a man his dimensions in numbers, but to assign a category? Only if he asks.

Has anyone had issues with being measured, if so how did you deal with it?
Also if you can't measure it because he won't consent to it, to what degree would that bother you?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Has anyone had issues with being measured, if so how did you deal with it?
Also if you can't measure it because he won't consent to it, to what degree would that bother you?

I know the distances between all the lines of my hands. I ask to measure if I know he will let me, and will use a tape measure. Otherwise, my hands are a very good stand in for measuring length, but not girth.

 

[693987]

I would think it's pretty easy to distinguish between being honest and being cruel. .

Being honest with an ex would be saying that I didn't orgasm from sex with him and pointing out things that may work better so we both were happy. Being cruel would be telling him he sucked and his sister was a better lay.

 

[nailz]

No, which is why I could never indulge any SPHers.

 

[Doranq]

No, which is why I could never indulge any SPHers.

Why no?

 

[Doranq]

Why no?

Just for clarity, I meant the "No" part, not the sph part.

 

[Doranq]

I would think it's pretty easy to distinguish between being honest and being cruel. .

Being honest with an ex would be saying that I didn't orgasm from sex with him and pointing out things that may work better so we both were happy. Being cruel would be telling him he sucked and his sister was a better lay.

I know it is easy to distinguish, I wasn't asking at all about the difference between the two.

 

[693987]

I know it is easy to distinguish, I wasn't asking at all about the difference between the two.

Then what were you asking for clarification on? I used the word cruel twice, because the second usage was a summarization of the rest of that post.

 

[Doranq]

Then what were you asking for clarification on? I used the word cruel twice, because the second usage was a summarization of the rest of that post.

"I don't tend to want to be cruel" and "I especially try not to be cruel"l

Is being cruel or wanting to be cruel something you have struggled with to some degree? I ask because your word choice is a bit different.

I guess since while I'm re-asking. Do think calling their penis small to be needlessly cruel?

Like I said before, It may be that I read into it too much.

 

[693987]

"I don't tend to want to be cruel" and "I especially try not to be cruel"l

Is being cruel or wanting to be cruel something you have struggled with to some degree? I ask because your word choice is a bit different.

I guess since while I'm re-asking. Do think calling their penis small to be needlessly cruel?

Like I said before, It may be that I read into it too much.

"I used the word cruel twice, because the second usage was a summarization of the rest of that post"

I already answered that in part. To elaborate further, I tend to generally try to not be a dick, having dealt with multiple verbally/emotionally abusive and manipulative fucks. I at one point in my life practiced Wicca. I was raised by a very Christian family. Golden rule, harm none, etc. There are lots of reasons why I strive to be a decent person. Being malicious and saying things a certain way fall under not being very decent in my eyes. The SPH I did was consensual and something that those individuals enjoyed.

I've had conversations with past and present lovers and with the males size typically did come up. I had no problem saying I thought they had average proportions, above average, or less than average. An individual's interpretation of words is partly on them, but also there are more positive, negative, or neutral ways of saying things. I try to at least be neutral.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Would you ever just say out loud to him during sex that his dick is small? Or even just tell him outside the bedroom. Whether it be ONS, BF, FWB, Fiance, Husband, w/e.
YES/NO & WHY?

Why would I? What would I gain from it?

Mostly I don't even bother to mention a guys size - in or out of bed. Guys seem to know exactly how big they are already.

 

[Doranq]

Why would I? What would I gain from it?

Mostly I don't even bother to mention a guys size - in or out of bed. Guys seem to know exactly how big they are already.

For the same reason(s) one might mention someone is tall, short, muscular, has long hair, has blue eyes, has very white teeth, broad shoulders, the shape of ones breasts, their tattoo on their back, the size of their forearm etc. :\

 

[TinyPrincess]

For the same reason(s) one might mention someone is tall, short, muscular, has long hair, has blue eyes, has very white teeth, broad shoulders, the shape of ones breasts, their tattoo on their back, the size of their forearm etc. :\

Again physical attributes I rarely comment on. I would perhaps comment on a nice smile or nice eyes. But usually I wouldn't.

People don't get to choose their height, size or shape of breasts - so why make people happy or unhappy on commenting on it?

 

[Doranq]

Again physical attributes I rarely comment on. I would perhaps comment on a nice smile or nice eyes. But usually I wouldn't.

People don't get to choose their height, size or shape of breasts - so why make people happy or unhappy on commenting on it?

Being found sexually attractive and receiving confirmation from your partner matters to a lot of people? No different than social intellectual, and emotional validation. Huge part of many insecurities. Pfft Intelligence is the same as a physical trait. No one gets to choose it at birth.

In addition people perform better in plethora of different ways and situations when they are happy and confident. Now if they feel all crummy they generally will do worse in comparison. Relationships are far from an exception.

Oh and people also display affection in various different manners. Oft times openly displaying affection can make the one displaying feel good as well.

I don't understand why this would be question unless it was sarcastic, but it doesn't read that way.

 

[sweetlucky12]

I dated a guy who liked to joke about his own small penis, so occasionally I would make a joke in bed, but it wasn't meant to be mean just trying to tap into his sense of humor.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Being found sexually attractive and receiving confirmation from your partner matters to a lot of people? No different than social intellectual, and emotional validation. Huge part of many insecurities. Pfft Intelligence is the same as a physical trait. No one gets to choose it at birth.

In addition people perform better in plethora of different ways and situations when they are happy and confident. Now if they feel all crummy they generally will do worse in comparison. Relationships are far from an exception.

Oh and people also display affection in various different manners. Oft times openly displaying affection can make the one displaying feel good as well.

I don't understand why this would be question unless it was sarcastic, but it doesn't read that way.

You're drifting away from your original question.

Anyhow, displaying affection and commenting on a physical attribute isn't the same as your latest post seems to suggest.

I like and love people on their personality - not their physical attributes. No need to be superficial as it's not necessary.

I would readily comment on a small dicked guy being a good lover if he is. What would he or I gain from commenting on his cock size?

 

[Doranq]

You're drifting away from your original question.

Anyhow, displaying affection and commenting on a physical attribute isn't the same as your latest post seems to suggest.

I like and love people on their personality - not their physical attributes. No need to be superficial as it's not necessary.

I would readily comment on a small dicked guy being a good lover if he is. What would he or I gain from commenting on his cock size?

It is extremely obvious what you or he could gain. Idk why this is something that could possibly need explaining at all or would be a question.




My latest post doesn't suggest anything. If you think it suggests something negative,positive, or neutral that is 100% on you and it will reflect in your answer. If I replaced the word small with medium or big it'd suggest the same thing ~ nothing. If your answer would change simply because of the word that is because of your own feelings you are projecting on to it. That said it entirely revolves around commenting on a physical attribute which in turn would involve all kinds of comments by default.