Understanding Open Relationships

[B_subgirrl]

I am not contradicting myself, I am going through stressful emotions, fuck off

I feel bad for you that you're feeling stressed. But that doesn't change what you said.

This . . .

It just hurts that there is someone I have amazing sex with and like as a person, it hurts that I think I have feelings for him

. . . contradicts this . . .

sex with someone attached leaves me feeling empty.

Having feelings and emptiness cannot coexist.


And I really don't see how this . . .

The problem is, I enjoyed spending time with him without sex. We would msg each other with things like I miss fucking you, now I get messages saying I miss you and I reply saying the same because I do. I have no expectations from him and I do not ever think this guy would leave his live in situation. It just hurts that there is someone I have amazing sex with and like as a person, it hurts that I think I have feelings for him

The issue- after eight months of the best orgasms I ever had, with someone so nice, it is hard not to develop feelings. PS his cock is perfect too :frown1:

. . . could be considered 'a waste of time'. Maybe if you were expecting the relationship to lead somewhere other than it did, but not when you knew exactly what it was.

Sounds like you're trying to distance yourself to me. Which is understandable, but why discount all the good stuff in the process.

 

[sizequeenNY]

I am not entertaining your nonsense, I am venting about an issue, go find someone else to troll because it is not working with me

 

[TheRob]

{{sizequeenNY}} There is a third option. My advice is to keep fucking him and don't tell him how you feel.

I think that's probubly horrible advice...

 

[TheRob]

Thanks, this has not happened before. I do not mix sex and emotions. This is not the first play partner I had but it is the first that I ended up having some sort of feeling for so I want to get away from it before getting hurt and at the same time I do not want to make him feel bad because he is a good guy

stop the FWB thing, keep being a friend tho and if it dosn't work out with him and his girl, maybe you two should be together at that point

 

[TheRob]

It is ok never mind, I feel stupid for writing this. I msged him that I do not want to have sex with him again. It took a while to realize, sex with someone attached leaves me feeling empty. I make it a point to not play with someone going behind their partners back too. It seems like every guy I meet this year is attached, like I have a magnet to them. It just makes me so sad because I just want someone to want just me. Days like this, I feel like dying my hair brown and dressing like an old lady so guys won't look at me

lol yes every brunette is homely...
I dunno what to tell you but I in fact am single

 

[B_subgirrl]

I am not entertaining your nonsense, I am venting about an issue, go find someone else to troll because it is not working with me

Okay, you keep telling yourself how awful it all was and I'll leave you to it.

 

[Intrigue]

Okay, you keep telling yourself how awful it all was and I'll leave you to it.

Good idea I think. Emotion can sometimes make friend seem like foe. But I see what you were trying to say.

 

[sizequeenNY]

lol yes every brunette is homely...
I dunno what to tell you but I in fact am single

Not at all, I just look terrible as a brunette lol

 

[sizequeenNY]

Good idea I think. Emotion can sometimes make friend seem like foe. But I see what you were trying to say.

She has trolled many threads I participated in and I have no interest entertaining her at all, she even commented knowing that I feel that way about her

 

[MickeyLee]

I am not entertaining your nonsense, I am venting about an issue, go find someone else to troll because it is not working with me

Ms. Subgirrrl isn't trolling you, she's just pointing out something you might not see. that third party perspective folks are often looking for when they post on a message board. if ya just wanna vent, cool, but don't go all 'fuck-you' when you don't like the feedback.

you do have feelings of you sex partner, you said as much. you do enjoy the sex, ya said that too. you felt empty afterward, not having an emotional connection left you wanting? none of those feelings void out another.

the sex was great, the chemistry was great.. a little too good. the emotional component is were the emptiness lives?

i think Ms. Subgirrrl was pointing out that there were positive, you did get some of your needs met. hmm she's encouraging you to be proactive in the ending of your relationship. see what worked and what didn't work. instead of being "well, i am felt empty, it was all a waste of time" kinda see what you did get, see what you felt was missing.. then make necessary changes the next go around. umm don't get caught in the negative/hurt feelings...

like, it's not that an open relationship didn't work for you.. is just this particular arrangement didn't work?


i could be so off base all around. :redface:

maybe open relationships are not for you, maybe you need to be a primary partner. where ya emotional and sexual needs are fulfilled by one person, plain old sexual kicks could be with you secondary partner?

 

[MickeyLee]

She has trolled many threads I participated in and I have no interest entertaining her at all, she even commented knowing that I feel that way about her

i spend way too much time here.. so i can say for a fact she hasn't trolled you... in any thread, not this one or any other.

maybe ya just attached some malice of tone Ms. Subgirrrl never threw out there. :smile:

 

[Intrigue]

She has trolled many threads I participated in and I have no interest entertaining her at all, she even commented knowing that I feel that way about her

I can't comment on those other instances but what I read here was a poster asking why you thought all was a waste of time? I agree with you in that when I have a plan or something like a relationship go bad I often find myself thinking of the whole damned thing as a waste of time to make myself feel better about the situation. She was trying to say, if I may, that even though this may not have worked out for you in the way you wanted, and I truly am sorry for that, that it isn't a reason to make it useless. Instead it can be used as a life lesson, or just a fond memory of someone who touched your heart unexpectedly. What I'm trying to say, I think, is that what you have decided is great, but don't let the failure of a relationship sour the good times you had. Right ?

 

[sizequeenNY]

Sounds like you're trying to distance yourself to me. Which is understandable, but why discount all the good stuff in the process.

Maybe if you people read this and listen to what I am saying instead of trying to infer something, it would be a more productive discussion. I do not get along with her in general. Her assumption about my situation is insignificant because I do not care to entertain any idea she has

It is so stupid that threads on here constantly get jacked by people who have nothing better to do than bullshit online

 

[sizequeenNY]

I feel that the situation was a waste of my time because I focused on it and ignored other options, it is pretty simple

 

[Intrigue]

Maybe if you people read this and listen to what I am saying instead of trying to infer something, it would be a more productive discussion. I do not get along with her in general. Her assumption about my situation is insignificant because I do not care to entertain any idea she has

It is so stupid that threads on here constantly get jacked by people who have nothing better to do than bullshit online

I think maybe you are reading this wrong I'll help.
" From what I can tell you are using a distancing tactic, which is ok. Hope that doesn't let you forget about the good times it brought you"

Now I may be wrong but that is not trolling, just saying what she thought you were doing. And I'm not threadjacking at all here. Its a forum. I'm discussing a matter that has everything to do with the subject.

 

[Intrigue]

I feel that the situation was a waste of my time because I focused on it and ignored other options, it is pretty simple

But those other options final outcome would be unknown. That's torturing yourself. Why not find the good, move on and be happy? Do what ya want. Its just an idea.

 

[MickeyLee]

Maybe if you people read this and listen to what I am saying instead of trying to infer something, it would be a more productive discussion. I do not get along with her in general. Her assumption about my situation is insignificant because I do not care to entertain any idea she has

It is so stupid that threads on here constantly get jacked by people who have nothing better to do than bullshit online

if you don't get along with her, sounds like ya are throwing some of your bad mood on her... she didn't do a damn thing wrong.

Subgirrrl is one of the nicer folks on this site. she's curious about most things, friendly to most people and seems to have no ill will toward anything other than bland sex....

i understand you are not happy, ya feel hurt and foolish.. don't take it out on anyone here.

next time preface ya post with something akin to "Rant Only, Coddling Only Need Apply"

 

[sizequeenNY]

if you don't get along with her, sounds like ya are throwing some of your bad mood on her... she didn't do a damn thing wrong.

Subgirrrl is one of the nicer folks on this site. she's curious about most things, friendly to most people and seems to have no ill will toward anything other than bland sex....

i understand you are not happy, ya feel hurt and foolish.. don't take it out on anyone here.

next time preface ya post with something akin to "Rant Only, Coddling Only Need Apply"

It is not like that at all, I am open to opinions and suggestions, just not from anyone that has gone out of their way to be rude before for no reason

 

[fire77]

It is not like that at all, I am open to opinions and suggestions, just not from anyone that has gone out of their way to be rude before for no reason

Subgirrl is one of the nicest girls on this site and for all the time I've been here she never insulted or were rude to anyone, further more we all take her advise very seriously because she always try to be very sincere and honest about her opinions and there is no harm in you listening to her or any other girl on this site, we all try to help each other even of some us sound a bit harsh with their replies, the end of the day they all trying to help.

 

[poultrygeist]

I'm struggling to see where subgirrl has posted anything insulting. OTOH, it seem like she has been the one insulted rather profusely.