Sorry if I sound like I am using you guys, but I NEED to talk to somebody before I do something stupid. I need to talk about things, before I vent in the wrong kind of way. It is the only way for me to let things go. I have had troubles with girls in the past. Lots of problems, leaving me with this depression and even nervous twitch which gives me headaches it is so bad. Call me a pussy if you want, I just have weak skin for emotions. I just want somebody to love me, and each girl has let me down when I have trusted her. I found out tonight the latest girl who I let in has been kissing other guys when she goes out like she doesn't even care I am there. After telling me she feels lucky to have me, after telling me she isn't like the girls before me, she will use alcohol as an excuse. Some people may say it is valid as an excuse, but I don't care how drunk I am, when I have some girls emotions in my possession so to speak I do NOT fuck around with the, and I do NOT go around with other people because I do not want to hurt them. Apparantly the same doesn't count back for me and I am struggling to find a ground between treating those how they would treat me, and saying no, I will not stoop to their level but continue to trust these girls. It gets harder all the time, tonight more than usual as I really did start to care for this girl. The amusing thing is she was meant to be safe. SHe loved me before I had a chance to like her, did I drive her away because I am so defensive over giving my emotions away, or was she just acting all along? I want somebody to love me I feel like shit. I feel like I never want to see her again, but I still don't want to not see her again. It is a pandoras box. A Catch-22. A lost hope, for me. You will tell me to keep looking and it will come eventually, but it doesn't. I don't know how to change myself. I do not know what to do to hold a girl down. If I have messed this one up, I just dno what to do anymore. How could she do this to me. I didn't even find out from her. In-fact she doesn't even know I know yet. What do I do? I had a level of depression over this before. *Inappropriate content removed by LPSG moderators. You know it gets bad, when you begin to hate girls more than like them Help?