What? Really? Again? :(

_Jonesy

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Well she ended up getting back in touch and I more or less was like "Why don't we see how you feel after Christmas?". After a while it came out she had been doing more than I thought, and my pride is shot and I am actually really angry at her. Need to vent here so I do not take it out on her or the guy she was with.

That is all it is though. Stupid pride. I realised I don't even mind if she is gone, but I needed to tell her to go myself and not have her tell me to jog on. I feel a bit pathetic. Some stupid 21 year old made a mockery out of by an 18 year old.
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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Just finished up telling her it's over, with a little piece of my mind mixed in for good measure.

I offered her more than se realises right now. When I met her she had no self confidence and I helped her get through that. I helped her realise she could be intelligent and her grades have improved consistently, and she now knows she is an attractive girl. She is sick of me now though, because she wants to be simple so in theory you could say I was the architect behind my own downfall this time.

Truthfully I don't care if she finds somebody else because of how she has been with me and who she is as a person. We never actually were going out, it was no-strings at first. This just got carried away. I'll just miss talking to her.


Jonesy,

Your issue is not with girls.. it is with you.
I think you realize and know this deep down. But you want to blame the girls that hurt you.
You can only allow people to hurt you if YOU LET THEM.
You cannot control the actions of others... only how YOU RESPOND TO THEM

Noted:
1) Envy
2) Jealousy
3) Lack of Self-esteem

These are your issues... plain and simple.

I note that you said you helped this girl through some of the very same issues.

Now get your ass out there and find someone that will help YOU with yours!!!
Male or female, it doesn't matter... love can be found in many forms. Don't limit yourself.

So you have had 3 heartbreaks? You will continue to have more, rest assured. Such is life... and NOT just yours. It's everywhere. It's LIFE.
You have got to first move past the one that hurt and damaged you the most. Forgive her. I don't think you've done that yet. I don't quite think you know how. This will come with time and age.

You have said some very hurtful and painful things in this thread. I hope you go back and read them when you are saner, and have a better grip on things and realize how really stupid they sound... not to mention scary as hell.

take care, find peace.... love will find you at the right time... quit trying so damn hard!


:wink:
 

Niiko8

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Normally, if you were one of my friends I'd hand you a glass of your preferred drink (Or a bottle of Jager) talk this through with you then tell you to man the fuck up and grow a pair.
But it's tough, everyone has gone through what you've been through and they find ways to cope with it. Me? I started collecting stamps and building guitars/drums.
At some point in the future, it may be next week, next month, a few months or most likely a few years down the line when you're a lot happier and content with your life, you'll realize all the advice you've been given will make sense and that you were a tit for saying it doesn't back then (now, technically).

Oh and dating older women, and hanging out with people older than you generally, really helps. Been doing it since I was 17, and never looked back. Hell, a lot of my friends call me and old man because I act older than your typical 20 year old.

And from personal experience and seeing it happen to other people, virtually EVERY girl under the age of 24 is like that. I shit you not, nearly all of them. Sometimes you've just gotta swallow your pride and not do things you really want to do i.e. telling her to shove off.
 

_Jonesy

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I posted before you guys which explains more I feel. Aah Fancy you're right really. It's a shame :/ I dno how to get around it without hurting someone or getting hurt myself.
 

MedicineMan

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I understand. now its time to move on. heres what u do. its not really time that makea things better but what u do in that time. Do things to enhance your self. go start a new workout plan or a Boxing class. go Draw . go to the Spa. take some online classes my friend. get busy . weather you loved ur or not realize that the amount of love u have for her is greater than your need for them. ignore her and her new man unless they aproach u jus cuz you need to focus on clearing your heart and head. i hope i could help ;-)
 

_Jonesy

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It does man but I'm still angry as hell. I rang her the night it happened (2 nights ago) to check if she was ok as she went out and I didn't hear from her. He answered the phone and we were giving each other shit and he was saying stuff like "I'm fucking her" and all this. It must have been at the same time :(

Makes me want to... I know I won't though it isn't worth it unless he comes to me. But how do I get it out of my mind!
 

sexplease

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You cannot. Though you may not think so now, but you should not. With age comes wisdom, some day you'll learn why.
In the interim, live.
Are you going down your path, fixated on what's in the rear-view mirror? How can you clearly see where you're going?
 

_Jonesy

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You're right, I'm going to mess up my future. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and get a load of work done, thanks! But tonight will be hard, everybody here knows it and I hate nights like this.

I don't even know why this is happening. Last time it was real, and it messed me up for months. This time I know it'll only bother me for a few days. Is it possible it has amplified every single one of my issues? It feels like last time but it can't because I don't love her, and last night I felt like I couldn't finish my course and didn't know why I was trying.

I think it is pride fucking with me, I have too much and it is the source of why I get jealous and paranoid. I can go find professional help but I the last one kind of made it worse! I know what I need to regain my self-esteem and be happy. I need a woman I love to love me back without any issues. Catch-22 I need that to regain my self-esteem yet my self-esteem pushes them away.

I'll mature one day I know.
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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You cannot. Though you may not think so now, but you should not. With age comes wisdom, some day you'll learn why.
In the interim, live.
Are you going down your path, fixated on what's in the rear-view mirror? How can you clearly see where you're going?

much truth in this post...very well said

and for the guy who told you over the phone "I'm fucking her" ... well he was just being (pick your term) asshole, prick, dickhead, fucktard, shitty.
He was making himself look big.. Don't let an asshole ruin your sense of pride... that's senseless.
 

_Jonesy

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much truth in this post...very well said

and for the guy who told you over the phone "I'm fucking her" ... well he was just being (pick your term) asshole, prick, dickhead, fucktard, shitty.
He was making himself look big.. Don't let an asshole ruin your sense of pride... that's senseless.
I didn't mind until I find out it was true. When she told me I was physically sick, don't know what happened. I hadn't eaten for 24 hours so it obviously got to me.
 

YoungCock1234

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I just want to echo support for you Jonesy. I've had a few situations like you seem to describe, but I haven't quite been unfortunate enough to get that involved before things went awry :p
Work though it man, and in the meantime, I can't recommend a hobby enough. It seems stupid, but playing Rock Band has honestly gotten me through several bouts of depression.
 

_Jonesy

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I just want to echo support for you Jonesy. I've had a few situations like you seem to describe, but I haven't quite been unfortunate enough to get that involved before things went awry :p
Work though it man, and in the meantime, I can't recommend a hobby enough. It seems stupid, but playing Rock Band has honestly gotten me through several bouts of depression.
Cheers man, unfortunately it will have to be Uni work but I suppose that isn't such a bad idea :p

E: Getting angry again, and I know now what sets it off. Imagining her with someone else while we were still seeing each other. This image, it makes me go mental.
 
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_Jonesy

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Please, forget her.
SHort and sweet, love it. Every intention to. I don't know why this is bothering me so much.

E: Sorry, I do. I just wish I could have ended it myself, like I planned, after a nice Christmas completely amicably.

Instead it was a spiteful horrible argument where things came out. Nasty things. Feel a bit awful, but I should be fine in a few days. Third xmas in a year ruined by girls :L

EE: Got to me again, this time disliked the image of her with another guy in bed. But that's only because of the fact I now have an image she gave me, thanks to a picture she sent me of the conversation she had reflecting on it. She 'couldn't explain it' apparantly. I did NOT want to know that :( Now I can't stop thinking about them together. And why do I even care. Aaaaaah god. So weird. Sorry just needed to talk about it.
 
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southeastone

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You need to get over this hurdle fella and go and get involved in some sort of group hobby thing where you meet loadsa girls guys and DO NOT get together with any of them, just be friends and NO SHAGGING them, get used to people, relationships will come in time if you stop looking.
 

_Jonesy

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Was it always this difficult to find love? Was it always this... painful. I don't understand girls my age these days. You cannot just go on FB and talk to them without there being an essence of "what do you want?". I couldn't just say do you want to ring me tonight just for a normal chat and to enjoy talking to each other. If I could do that, eventually, relationships come but I can't because people only like the chase and mind games now.

That sounds like a good idea mate. Any suggestions?
 

helgaleena

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My suggestion is meet females at Uni and keep your studies the subject of conversation as much as possible. Facebook and other techno-toys are to keep a distance between people that prevents you from getting too serious, but some people instead see them as ways of substituting for actual contact which is why the people you mention read more into Facebook than it actually is. So stick with face-to-face until you are more sure of yourself with the females. The younger ones will marry you online if you let them pretend hard enough.
 

_Jonesy

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lol oh man I hate that. Relationships have become a joke basically on facebook. Attention seeking and such.
 

B_Bjen2848

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lol oh man I hate that. Relationships have become a joke basically on facebook. Attention seeking and such.


dude, man up, and forget her

delete her from your phone, delete her from facebook, worry about school and get a job, go out and find friends because all this feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anything but more upset

if she texts you, ignore it

if she calls you, ignore it

STOP putting pussy on a pedestal, i don't understand how someone could get so upset over something that is free, not hard to get and there is plenty of it w/ many different varieties

go out and meet new women and stop getting so attached

worry about school and making money and remember this little saying

you will always lose money chasing women, but you will NEVER lose women chasing money

right now you are letting these little girls run your life and its kind of pathetic

pick yourself up, dust yourself off with your chin up high and live life, if you go about life happy not giving a shit about anything other than being happy and being successful, the women will come and instead of crying over one girl who probably isn't that hot, most likely is a bore of a human being and obviously doesn't even care about you, you can pick and choose between various model look-a-likes
 
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Fuzzy_

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Makes me want to... I know I won't though it isn't worth it unless he comes to me. But how do I get it out of my mind!

You are too smart for that. Success is the best revenge. Fuzzy would move on to a bigger, better tiger.

'Seems like they deserve each other.