What Was Your Father Like? Good or Bad?

[DasLeezard]

A little something to explain about my parents. This was written by a friend of mine-

DasLeezard was born in 1983 to a German fishmonger and wandering minstrel. Her early years were full of strife and anguish, as her parents quickly fell out of lust with each other and constantly warred to get custody of her. She was tasked by her father to hide dead fish in her mother's wagon, and likewise tasked by her mother to steal all her father's knives. Back and forth the feud went, with DasLeezard forced to comply with her parents wishes. Then, when she turned 12, she got smart..and got even with them both by stuffing a dead hooker under her father's sink, and a stash of crack in her mother's jewelry box, then calling the cops and laughing all the way to the orphanage.


Life there was comparatively heaven, she was the queen of the misfits...the only one with matching shoes, socks with no holes, a dress that fit..she was living large. And then, she was adopted by a wealthy English cat-seller... apparently there is a lot of money involved in selling pussy.

The rest of her youth was spent in wealth and luxury, every whim of hers immediately fulfilled. She fell in love with Hans, the poolboy, and had a wonderful summer-fling that ended blissfully when she got bored of him and moved to the states. Since then, she's invested her small fortune wisely and became a bus driver..where she keeps alert for unfit parents to "accidentally" run over.


To date she has 83 confirmed kills and 15 suspicious tire-decimated bodies..but since she's rich she's above the law...free to kill at her leisure

 

[HiddenLacey]

My Dad is awesome ) I cannot imagine one moment of my life when he will not there for me to call. Though we do not always agree on everything I know he has the best of intentions.

Ever see the post cards with the little girl dancing on her fathers feet or being swung around by the ocean.

Yeah... that's my Dad. He has totally ruined me on men forever, because there will never be another man like him.

 

[jonluke6ft2]

My dad is a piece of shit.

 

[travis7]

father... whats that.. ?
I had a step dad since I was 5, he never tossed ball, never took me to cub scouts, never to my basketball games, What he was good at was yelling at me, and tell me what I was doing was wrong.
my brother taught me how to jo, my brother taught me how to drive and how to drive a stick. My other brother taught me how to swim, ..
Father...lol... When my step dad dies, I thnk ill be too busy to go to the funeral.

 

[Countryguy63]

Remembering what my Father was like when I was younger is very hard for me, because we became so close the last few years before he passed a way.

However, the fact still remains that it was very hard growing up with him. He was old school very "hard handed", bordering on physically abusive. I can remember one particular time when I was out in the front yard playing kickball with friends. My little brother (his favorite) was out there. At one point, I kicked the ball and it hit my little brother in the face. He went in crying, my Dad came out and the last thing I remember is him screaming at me, and his fist coming at me.

I got spanked if I disagreed with him. Usually it was with a belt, or a tree branch. He would scream at me at any given time. I grew up very intimidated and scared of him. I hated him, but still wanted his love and approval at the same time.

My Dad was an avid sports fan, and was a top High School / College sports player. Mostly football, but also played basketball, and some baseball. I was more into animals, and I think he resented that I wasn't into sports like him. My little brother was, and he couldn't say enough about him.

I can still remember, like it was yesterday (the house, the time of day, his voice at the time, etc), I was out riding my horse. My Dad and his friend was out front talking. I rounded the corner of our house just in time to hear him say (referring to my little brother , 6 yrs old at the time, who had just walked outside) "That's the ONLY man I'll ever raise"

I carried a lot of hatred and resentment throughout my youth and into adulthood. At one point, I confronted him about the emotional and physical abuse and he completely denied it. We went years without speaking to each other. I thought that I was ok with it.

One day, in my late 20's, I was driving down the road, and the song "That's My Job" by Conway Twitty came on. For some reason, the part about his Dad dying hit me deep. I literally started crying so hard that I had to pull over or I would have wrecked my truck. I knew right then and there that I had a decision to make. My Dad was never going to acknowledge, or apologize for the way he treated me. I could go the rest of my life holding him responsible, and be justified in doing so. Or, I could unconditionally forgive him, and try to have some sort of relationship with him.

It still took a few years, but eventually he became one of the most important people in my life. We became very, very close. He was there every time my ex left me. He was there, any time day or night, when I was going through my divorce. He was at every one of my kids fairs. We spoke on the phone very often.

He passed a few years later. It was sudden and one of the burdens that I carry to this day, is I didn't get to tell him goodbye. I don't know if I ever told him just how much I loved him, or what he meant to me. I remember sitting in my Mom's living room, meeting with the preacher for his service. My only demand was that he NEVER say that my Dad was in a better place. His place was down here with me, down here with his Grandkids. I felt cheated that I had so little time with him as a true Dad, as a true friend.

It's been 7 years this September. To this day, I still reach for my phone to call him 1st when something important is happening. I still wake up sometimes with a desire to call him and say Good Morning.

June is coming up, which is not only Father's Day, but also his Birthday. It's one of the most difficult months of the year for me. I battle between being happy with my children, and being reminded that he is no longer with me.

I miss you Dad

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

Not happy, with his personality but he's there when it matters.

 

[craigsmith]

My father was a good man. He worked very hard and long hours to pay the bills and provide for my mother and me. I am an only child, but was born premature 24weeks, in 1962 in a small hospital - had to be rushed to Memphis Tn to Childrens hospital and stayed there 3 months before my parents could even hold me. My dad drank a lot when I was small, and when I was 6 years old, my dad came in drunk from work, and he was yelling at my mother - I still remember this, I thought he was going to hurt her, and I stabbed him in the lower back with a small steak knife. Thank God the blade was small and short so it did not go into any vital organs. They rushed him to the hospital into surgery and he was fine. When he came home from the hospital, he took all the liquor, beer etc from the house to a burn barrel, dumpled it all and set it on fire. I am now 50yo and he is 69 and has not touched a drop since then.
We used to go fishing everyweekend on the mississippi river and mom would cook the fish and we would have my grandparents and uncles over. I don't remember much about my dad before I was 6 when I stabbed him, but I do remember he worked very hard, paying off the bills from the hospital.

 

[avg_joe]

My dad was the best father that you could have ever imagined. He always taught me to be honest, kind-hearted, studious, and gentle man. He showed me the value of hard work and always told me not to be lazy. He always went out with the family every Sunday morning. I miss my dad a lot.

 

[B_Nia88]

Hard working, loving, very dominant, very macho, an amazing husband and father.
How was your father, good or bad? amazing.
What do you wish was different about him? nothing
If bad, have you changed yourself to not repeat his mistakes? nothing
Have you ever seen someone get choked up trying to talk about their father? my brother and I

 

[Pierced1953]

Hard working, loving, very dominant, very macho, an amazing husband and father.
How was your father, good or bad? amazing.
What do you wish was different about him? nothing
If bad, have you changed yourself to not repeat his mistakes? nothing
Have you ever seen someone get choked up trying to talk about their father? my brother and I

nice to hear a good story. good or bad they are still are parents, forgive, forget and move on.....thanks Nia.

 

[B_Nia88]

Hugs Pierced, I love my Daddy so much he is such a great man.

 

[BoxersguyNJ]

My so called father hated me from small always hitting and yelling at me & always calling me names ...never had any connection with him ...what can I say ...he's gone now and I really don't miss him at all !! sorry I have to sound like this but its all true

 

[avatarng]

A bastard, left my mom and me long before I was born. Later he managed to get a few women pregnant. The bastard still living in IL. area and if he is dying and in need of a transplant and I am the only one can save his sorry ass...dream on bastard. I would not do it for all the money in the world.
No, I am not bitter just piss off at any man who do not take their responsibility seriously.

 

[niceone0305]

never knew my birth dad........
was adpoted as an infant and that dad was a total piece of shit......
I learned to hate at a very young age and when died,he died alone......
on that day I danced the biggest happy dance the world has ever seen........
not one good memory of him.......

 

[dolfette]

my father...

he's both a good person and a shite father.

i've seen newspaper clippings about his heroism at sea. he literally is the sort of man who would leap into freezing seas, with no idea how long it would take for rescue to be put into action, to keep a drowning man above water.

but he's also the kind of guy who played ostrich about my mothers various insanities, barely came to visit at all, never formed a proper relationship with us and remained a sort of santa figure (turns up once a year with expensive gifts).

i don't resent him or feel emotional when i talk about him. people are always a mixture of the good and the bad, and there's no point hating people for not being the people you want them to be.

 

[tanstaafl16]

I struggle to get along with my Dad. He was very manipulative throughout my life and he only seemed to care what one person thought, his mother.

I don't think he encouraged me enough to get into sports so I didn't have many friends in high school. I grew up in a small town and I didn't fit into the mold of "a big guy who is on the football team". As a result, I was thought of as gay and my parents knew I was having trouble in school. It seemed like neither one of my parents wanted anything to do with me. My mom and dad beat my sister because she wanted to date a black guy and she was running wild. I did well in school as I didn't focus on sports. I got into some great schools.

My dad also bitched about money, I am not sure but I guess he wasn't doing as well as I thought. I remember know that he would unplug the TV before we went to a relative's house. I went to am expensive school in NYCand my dad bitched about the cost ( not openly of course, but he muttered under his breath which I heard anyway).

I thought dad was indifferent to me and he controlled what everyone thought as my mom didn't go to college and he made all thE money. I wanted to tell my grandmother that he beat my sister, but he would just tell her I was lying. I once threatened to tell her when she was coming over and then I saw him upstairs on the phone telling her not to believe anything I said.

He never said anything about sex and like I said, was generally indifferent. I eventually went to school and found my own life. I think that is why I am still a virgin as I am not sure if I want kids. I don't know if I could live with myself if I treated my kids the same way. I don't go on many dates and struggle talking to girls.

I graduated during a poor economic time and received a job offer 10 days after 9/11. I didn't want the job because it was a three person group and I was the only one under 40. I made no contacts in the job, but still worked for 7 years before the volatility started in 2008. I did think about moving back home, but my parents bought a house in an over 50 community and I was only allowed to live there for 30 days. I felt that my dad bought the place simply so I could not move home and I wouldn't be there.

To make matters worse, my sister graduated earlier than me in the economic boom and he has been doing very well financially. Of course, she and my parents are now the best of friends. It's all about money.

My dad always taught me to be honest, but unfortunately it is the liars and cheaters that always seem to win in life (food stamp scammers, etc.) and in my industry (wall street). I felt I wasn't setup to succeed in life. Due to my parents, I have no interest in getting married even though that would be great. I don't want to be single in NYC my entire life.

I general, my Dad cared way too much what other people thought and didn't care enough about me. I have grown apart from my family and I am not sure if I should just cut my losses. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, but I am scared I will be like my Dad.

 

[Stringer]

I love my Dad more than words can describe. He dealt with some really, really fucked up shit in his childhood, yet was able to make it out and create a good life of his own. I think his childhood caused some permanent scarring in some respects (he usually tends to be ornery and is moody, and very overemotional, but that could just be because he's a Cancer, LOL). I think he's been depressed for a really long time, but is too stubborn to get help for it.

That being said, the man has a heart of gold and would do anything for the ones he loves. I had very few qualms about coming out to him last year because I knew he would always love me for me. How many gay teenage guys can actually say that about their fathers?

He's funny, smart, caring, and forever loving. People like being around him, except for his immediate family at times, but that is normal :tongue:. We've bonded over a lot of things during my childhood, and I have a connection with him that I have with very few people.

All things considered, my father is a 9.5 out of 10. He has taught me how to be a man better than anyone else could have. And not the macho bullshit, but having integrity, respect, honesty, and knowing how to treat people and how to carry yourself as a man.

 

[eurotop40]

I was born when my father was in his forties. So he was not the young dad who would practice all sorts of sports with you (for that I had my uncles). But my father was intellectually VERY bright and has supported me morally - and sometimes financially - throughout my whole life. With him you felt like no obstacle would be unsurmountable.
I try to be the same with my offspring.
I miss him dearly.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

Mine was there but wasn't. He provided for his family. Made sure we had great educations and the best of what was available at the time but still wasn't around. He didn't even go to school events/games or on holidays with us. My mom did all that. While I feel sorry for him today (his health is not the best) I can't say I "owe" him anything more than the occasional visit.

 

[dolfette]

i wonder if having your own kids makes a difference to how harshly you judge...