y am i so jealous

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by jojo100, Nov 17, 2005.

  1. jojo100

    jojo100 New Member

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    hey, i really need sum advice.

    i have a rediculous problem wit jealosy and its spoilling my relationship wit my boyfriend. i get jealous at rediculous things like the FHM mag. i really cnt help it i feel very insecure, mainly i think cos im so self concious about my body. my b/f always says he loves my body nd boobs (they are almost non-exsistant) so y does he need to buy these mags?? i really hate them, nd got especially angry wen he watched the free dvd that came wit the issue, he knew i wasnt keen about the idea, cos it makes me feel horrible, he told me he wansnt goin2 watch nd that it would be rubbish anway... but he did, nd tryed to lie nd say he hadnt? why??
     
  2. B_HappyHammer1977

    B_HappyHammer1977 New Member

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    It's a two-way street, a relationship. I'm willing to put down a small amount of cash that says you read womens magazines, look at the pictures and so on. Should he be jealous of you reading Cosmo? (or whatever you read!) Of course not! There's nothing to be jealous of. It the same thing. The only problem here is your own insecurity. Don't forget, the man you love is with YOU!
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I'd never heard of FHM so I Googled it. Here's what I found:

    There's a whole lot of:
    Sports
    Entertainment
    Food
    Movies
    Music
    Refreshment
    and an interesting Interview.

    Oh, and some:
    Scantily (or non)-clad ladies.

    Looks like most any other Men's magazine on the market. Would you rather he read Redbook or Cosmo?

    It sounds to me like you aren't just insecure but possibly too immature for a relationship. If you want a man you can't get angry with him for acting like a man.
     
  4. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Yeah maybe you need to work on some self esteem and self love ;)

    My girlfriend has a great body! But she's constantly watching what she eats and counting calories. Like last night I said I was bringing some doughnuts over. She said she's full (she'd just eaten dinner). I said you won't be full in a few hours, you can eat them then. Then it turned out that they were 'full of fat' and she didn't want to get fat. I told her one doughnut doesn't make you fat and we can work it off anyway ;)

    Aside from that though, she's really great although I do wish she'd have a lil more self esteem etc.

    I get jealous when I see her looking at other guys, but it's no big deal, everyone gets jealous. Plus I reason it out with she's with me, not anyone else and I know for a fact she really enjoys being with me.

    You just have to learn to manage your jealousy and not let it affect your relatonship. If your boyfriend says he likes your booberz then it's a compliment, you should be happy. You shouldn't be looking to find fault in what he says or does. Girly magazines are quite bad too, all the talk of sex and cheating in them...or so I hear. Men's mags are probably the same, although I don't read them. I'm reading a book on psychology right now...much more interesting.

    Good luck. Also don't compare yourself to girls in magazines. You shouldn't compare yourself with anyone, you are your own person and you have your own inner and outer beauties that trump other people's. Your boyfriend tells you that, so you should believe him. Unless maybe you're looking for a way to make him dump you? I know girls like that...they're young and shouldn't have boyfriends, but hopefully that's not remniscent of yourself.
     
  5. naughty

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    Amen Pecker!

    The sad thing is that what you are calling immaturity can be seen in women of all ages.

    Jojo honey,

    Try to love yourself a little bit more. Know that no matter what happens you are going to be fine. Men are visual creatures, they are not carbon copies of us nor do we want them to be! (can I get an amen , here? ) Many of the things you are mentioning have very little to do with him. If he wants to read his magazine leave him be, your petite proportions are not going to scare him away if he is truly in love with you, but unnecessary drama just mignt! Most of us stay where we feel good and comfortable. Also we all like to look at a little eye candy from time to time. I see that you are here on LPSG.... ;)

    Naughty
     
  6. jojo100

    jojo100 New Member

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    Thanx paul for your reply. i think u are right! i will have to learn to manage my jealousy, i do try tho, i guess i'll have to try harder!
     
  7. invisibleman

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    Men with steady partners do need extra stimulus in addition to their current partners. Don't take this the wrong way when I say this as a metaphor. (If you eat your favorite food every day, you'll look for something else to try that is pretty good and you'll probably not eat your favorites for awhile.)
    As long as he does come home to you. And he likes being with you. Then there is no problem with the stability of your relationship. Maybe you should get you a subscription to your favorite "hubba-hubba" fantasy guy magazine that would be comparable to FHM. When you guys are in bed together, maybe read the magazines for awhile and then talk about the men and the women in there. Have a discussion on what turns each other on about the men and women in the magazines. (When I had a BF, that's what we did--for six years.) It also may inspire some fantasies to try out in the safety of home or in some private rendezvous outdoors.
    Now, if he doesn't come home. And he doesn't home regularly to you. Then, your relationship is in trouble. You may need to really think if he's worth keeping or not. Paul is right about making comparisons. Be yourself and be satisfied with yourself. Comparing yourself to others girls is a waste of good energy you could using positively for yourself and for your man. It would be like me saying I am not as manly as John Holmes because his cock was bigger than mine. His cock was bigger but it doesn't mean he's more manly. Look at me. I am still living and loving. Invisibleman
     
  8. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Yeah it's not easy lol but if you want to stay with your boyfriend it's worth it. Like the other day I was on the tram with my girlfriend and there was some guy doing pull ups on the handrail things...my gf was looking at him, and kicking her legs (how girls do...and I know why they do it lol). I got jealous, cos the guy was quite built...but I let it go, I stare at girls too hehe.

    Good luck, just keep it to yourself, but if you start thinking 'she's prettier than me' then just tell yourself, that the girl there is probably a real mean bitch and there's no chance of your boyfriend ever being within 50 miles of her. And who does your boyfriend kiss and compliment? You! And you should feel very special.

    So in summary, it's natural to get jealous unless you're a cocky, full of yourself, arrogant person. And who wants to be with someone like that? Just learn to handle your jealousy and other negative feelings, and life will be good :)
     
  9. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    Any chance of filling me in on why they do that?

    On another note, I enjoy it if I spot my girlfriend looking at another guy. It means I get to tease her a bit, I know that's immature but I think it's sweet the way her face turns red when she realsises she wasn't being as sly as she thought and I've caught her out :)

    As for the mags though, it's just one of those things, my girlfriend doesn't like me reading them so the unspoken agreement is that they're never in the house so she doesn't see me reading them. She knows I do it but it's not right in front of her making her feel insecure. So I have to disagree with most of the blokes here and say that you have a very valid point and he is being insensitive.
     
  10. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Girls like showers, jacuzzis, and kicking their legs. It means they're turned on and its sort of like them masturbating, it feels good to them, some can even orgasm by kicking their legs of squeezing their thighs together...don't ask me how I know this lol.

    It's annoying, sometimes a turn on when I see girls doing that, as it's quite a common thing...if you look at their faces when they're doing it you can tell, although some girls are probably stretching their legs, most are havin a play hehe.
     
  11. naughty

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    Paul,

    Everyone doesnt orgasm or show that they are turned on by kicking their legs. Perhaps you are correct about your girlfriend though. How are the classes going? It sounds like you have come to a good balance between classes and girlfriend. I am glad to hear that things are going well between the two of you. Keep it up!

    Kim
     
  12. jojo100

    jojo100 New Member

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    hey thanx every1! the majority of the people who replied have helped me! paul u sound like a really cool guy, u made me laff!! yes u were right about us ladies enjoying showers and jacuzzis!!! kicking our legs...... ill get bac to u on that one!!! cnt say ive tried it ..... yet!!!
     
  13. DC_DEEP

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    jojo, a man looking at magazines has nothing to do with how he feels about his partner.

    You have to think of it this way - who is he with?

    I used to work with a woman, not terribly wild, but less inhibited than most (it was a very conservative tech firm...) There was a company party, and then next day, almost everyone in our office was asking her why she and her husband were dancing with other people all night, and why wasn't she jealous, all those same questions. She didn't blink an eye, and answered "we can dance with each other all we want at home, and we know who we are going home with. I love my husband, he loves me, and we have no reason to be jealous of each other."

    If you can relax, and learn to trust, you will be much happier in life. Best of luck to you.
     
  14. GoneA

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    you could always burn the magz.
     
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