Do Bisexual Men Exist?

[hud01]

yes, bisexual men do exist. However, their attraction to both the opposite sex and same sex is almost never a 50/50. I for instance, would consider myself bisexual but find I'm attracted to women more than men. I do enjoy watching gay porn and taking part in this forum, but when it comes to sexual experiences with men I have limited my encounters to mutual masturbation. I haven't had the desire to do any more. Whereas with women I have no trouble going all the way. I also find myself getting emotionally attached to women and not men. And I assure I am absolutely not repressed, I grew up in a very liberal household in West Hollywood!

I'm a little confused. This post makes it sound like you are 70% straight not gay.

That being said I can totally relate to what you said. A woman can give me much emotional attachment.

 

[bravestarr]

From what I have gathered from all of the member's opinions, reactions, examples in here is Bisexuality is a unique sexual orientation.

Bisexuality can be, in terms of feelings of attraction and/or viewed as behaviour

With these differences chaos reigns. Dialog is very difficult. Debates can be unproductive and people should always first decide on a common definition of the term before proceeding with any discussion.

 

[bravestarr]

Done my threesome share with a cute twin brothers awhile back :tongue:

I was thinking more a teaching threesome. Good stuff....

Oh yeah I used to be able to suck my own, but bad back and a little bit of a gut have stopped that.

 

[contortionist]

I have absolutely no desire to kiss/cuddle/have sex with any man. But. I had a friend at school who has an enormous dick. His whole family is quite open about this genetic feature and I have a family tree of male 'members'.There is no doubt I am besotted by these organs and love holding them and jerking them off. (So far, I've seen 4). I know a lot of men are interested in super-sized penises but does that make them bi-? (Pleased to email details of the tree!).

 

[B_huge1uk]

I'm married with kids. Love women but just love a big thick cock to hold and play with. Nothing else just wank fun. Does that make me Bi ?

 

[Northland]

My sexuality can not be summed up in a poll.

I am bisexual as defined by my attractions to both men and women. There is a fluid nature to my sexuality which has found pleasure with both genders.

I lean towards men a little more, perhaps due to more personal interests with them. That said, there are women who also hold my interests in conversation, often for several hours.

As to sex, if I'm interested and comfortable with a person and they are with me, then that is all that matters. Once sexual activity begins, I no longer think of them by gender (if I ever did). As I said, people attract me, not the rigid sexual dividing line of male/female.


If I were to place a vote in the poll, I'd have to go with 100% bisexual, if for no other reason than I don't understand what a 20% or 50% would comprise itself of.

 

[zawfi]

For some people, it's a big problem when people don't fit into certain labels. I'm bi, but I like being with men and having sex with men a lot. At some point in the past, I even identified myself as gay. But to be honest, I don't like the labels. I am, above all, a sexual being, unlabeled. But the labels have political power, and that's where the rejection of labels can be problematic for some people or groups.

 

[J_hayes]

I'm a little confused. This post makes it sound like you are 70% straight not gay.

That being said I can totally relate to what you said. A woman can give me much emotional attachment.

It's suppose to be 70% straight, thanks for pointing that out, I mixed up the percentages.

 

[hud01]

It's suppose to be 70% straight, thanks for pointing that out, I mixed up the percentages.

:beerchug:

 

[BIGBULL29]

I have absolutely no desire to kiss/cuddle/have sex with any man. But. I had a friend at school who has an enormous dick. His whole family is quite open about this genetic feature and I have a family tree of male 'members'.There is no doubt I am besotted by these organs and love holding them and jerking them off. (So far, I've seen 4). I know a lot of men are interested in super-sized penises but does that make them bi-? (Pleased to email details of the tree!).

Not necessarily bisexual, but they are not 100% straight in orientation. Most men are not. Any gay thought a man would ever have would make him less than 100% straight, even if he has zero desire to act on the thought. However, there are lots of men who are definitely 100% straight in preference.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

yes, bisexual men do exist. However, their attraction to both the opposite sex and same sex is almost never a 50/50. I for instance, would consider myself bisexual but find I'm attracted to women more than men. I do enjoy watching gay porn and taking part in this forum, but when it comes to sexual experiences with men I have limited my encounters to mutual masturbation. I haven't had the desire to do any more. Whereas with women I have no trouble going all the way. I also find myself getting emotionally attached to women and not men. And I assure I am absolutely not repressed, I grew up in a very liberal household...

Wow. Our history and sexual interests are identical. I mean exactly.

 

[D_ExJagSack]

Of course bi-sexuality exists... You cant just divide somethin like that into two seperate catorgories - life's not that simple! And if it was what a boring place the world would be...! We are complex beings and each person is different.. were not machines and we didnt come out of a packet with a label on... You have to be one narrow minded individual not to think that people can have feelings for both male and female's, considering that we arnt that much different to begin with, we all connect somewhere down the line... It dosent take studies, percentages, or mathmatical equations.. its out there for REAL, its like saying do aliens exist?? i havent seen one yet but i believe in bi-sexuals! And that concurs that bi sexuals do exist in my opinion.

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

lol @ nik .. Are you sure you are not petrified? you told me before you were...lol anyway my 2 cents of thought in here

I’ve long suspected that bisexuality, in many men, is the stage between shame and acceptance. That is, men who call themselves “bisexual” are often gay men who aren’t quite ashamed anymore of their homosexual inclination but who, for any number of reasons, also aren’t fully accepting of it. By calling themselves bisexual, they cling to some thin reed of their heterosexual identity.

I remember a study conducted back in the 90s to a group of men - a memorable headline resulted of the New York Times which sparked the world, the “bisexual” men in the study were either “Straight, Gay, or Lying.”

Clearly there are straight men who occasionally have gay sex when circumstances limit their preferred sexual outlet, as in prison. Clearly there are gay men, some of whom are married to women, who have straight sex because they’re ashamed of their homosexual orientation or afraid of the consequences of being found out. These are not bisexuals.

Clearly, for queer theorists and their allied political groups, there is an ideological motivation behind the idea of bisexuality. They will defend it, damn the truth. And for some men, having sex with men who claim to be attracted to women is a fetish.

Clearly there are men who call themselves bisexual, whether for political reasons or fetishistic reasons or because they simply aren’t yet able to accept that they’re gay.

We may not like that the world is divided into sheep and goats, but that’s preferable to pretending we live in a world of mythical unicorns.

It's not surprising at all that a woman who is entirely heterosexual believes in such antiquated and close minded bullshit like this.

I'm sure if we were living in the 80s or even the 60s or 70s or even earlier you'd write about how homosexual men are choosing to be this way or they have a mental illness.

You realize that the "Straight, gay, or lying" study was total bullshit and the doctor Dr. J. Michael Bailey who did this study is for finding a gay gene so parents can abort future homosexual children. Also he's basically a closet case according to this article, The Chronicle: 6/20/2003: 'Dr. Sex' and he's been forced to resign from being an academic chairperson at Northwestern university.

He also thinks that Transsexual women are really just feminine men imitating women.

You mention queer theory and queer politics yet you know absolutely nothing about them which is not surprising.

You also do not know about fetishes but that's OK too since I've met tons of people who claim that they have a fetish when they do not at all. Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.

Bisexual men and women are real. Do you think that women who call themselves bisexual are secretly Lesbian?

If you or anyone else wants to actually see a copy of the bogus study here's a link to it I found on Susie Bright's blog. http://susiebright.blogs.com/BiMen.pdf

I found the study on this blog entry.
Susie Bright's Journal : Take my Bisexual Husband? Please

You really do need to get out more, broaden your horizons, and meet people.

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

Not necessarily bisexual, but they are not 100% straight in orientation. Most men are not. Any gay thought a man would ever have would make him less than 100% straight, even if he has zero desire to act on the thought. However, there are lots of men who are definitely 100% straight in preference.

Those men can call themselves straight or heterosexual all they want, or think that they are heterosexual but it just makes them a closeted bisexual and sometimes they are closeted gay men.

I don't agree with you that most men are bisexual. Actually read some sexuality studies and you'll find this this is not true. People are going to mention Kinsey but that study was so biased and it's so old and there are more modern ones out there.

If most men are bisexual how come you are not either gay or even bisexual at all?

Why are there men who are completely homosexual who are not attracted to women at all, and even if they had tried sex with women it did nothing at all for them?

Or why are there heterosexual men who have tried sex with men and either can't perform or do not enjoy it? Granted they are not as common as closeted gay men who try sex with women and discover that they don't like it.

When you write how you think that most men are bisexual, this is exactly like how some straight men say that all or most women are bisexual or have secret desires for bisexual or lesbian sex and affection with a woman even if they are totally heterosexual.

If most people were actually bisexual there would be no need to come out and there would not be a closet when it comes to sexuality, and being something other than heterosexual would not be a big deal to many people and to most societies.

In other posts about this subject you've said that bisexual men should stay closeted, why is that?

People can have a homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual thought and it can be a one time thing and tell them that they are not either gay, bisexual, or if they are gay it makes them realize that they don't have any sexual attraction to the opposite gender. Or they can be monosexual and try sex with the same or opposite gender and discover that they are not attracted to the said gender at all and they are not bisexual.

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

There is Preference, there is the Majority, there is the Dominant.

The one you prefer more, makes you either Straight or Gay.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

You can be bisexual and prefer one gender over the other for both sex and romance but that does not make you either gay or straight.

 

[bravestarr]

Beardedwoof,

We are all entitled to each of our own opinions. I am now a close minded person because I do not believe nor near to agree with your own beliefs?

The fact is that before (60s,70s,80s) and still today many men are ashamed to admit they are gay, so they get married and live in the closet, and for some reason being bi is considered more socially acceptable or because they are having sex with both that would be the label.

But of course there are men and women who just enjoy sex of any type, with men, or with women, both and even in groups. There are alot of sexual tastes and to try and deny that these people exist is as bigoted statement as a person who says a gay person can not really be gay, and need to be cured.

Bisexuality is not a stable sexual orientation as is heterosexuality and homosexuality and it can almost always be explained as confusion over definitions of sexual orientation or simple denial. A great number of gay men once identified themselves as "bisexual" only to come out later and drop that label and just accept that they are gay.

I have been out many times and have met lots of people ( I have done this long before with your advice ) - friends, families and even my own patient's families. Thru them I've met several formally married gay men and most of them claimed to be bisexual at one point or another; yet, once they came out of the closet, sex with women was forever a thing of the past.

I've never met one who claimed to once be gay and then decided he was straight. But there are several out there who once truly thought they were bisexual and then decided they were gay later on (those are a dime a dozen). This is one of the reasons I think bisexuality can be seen as a temporary transitional phase of sexual identity: a guy is gay from the beginning, suppresses that identity, has heterosexual experiences, others see him as straight as he himself, he knows he has same-sex attractions but tries to hide them and decides he's bisexual as a result only later to realize he was gay all along.

I have male gay friends too, and none report ever having met a guy who was truly bisexual. A high percentage of gay men say they once claimed to be Bi themselves and told other people this only later to really come out of the closet (Bi sort of like having the closet door half open). Quite a few were married and probably the majority (an easy majority) have had sex with women in the past. I've asked some of them if they would ever have sex with a woman again and they ALL say, never. Most of this gay men when asked if they think bisexuality exists they ALL say no. Bi today - Gay tomorrow.

Most "bisexual" men are really gay; some are straight. That's all. And I think the confusion lies in part in understanding that sexuality is about more than just having sex, it's about the totality of what makes you who you are. Gay men are really a hybrid between straight men and straight women. Gays are males just like straight guys but have brains that resemble more closely those of straight women (I mean physically on MRI scanning and autopsy):tongue:. Yet they are not women trapped in a mens' bodies either and certainly would never want to have female parts (those folks are transexuals).

I am do aware that this is a touchy subject for one reason: People who are bisexual are being told that their feelings/sexuality are not valid.

It's sort of like being told you're not really a woman if you can't have kids, or that all real men can sustain an erection and please their woman in bed, or whatever.

Saying that bisexuality doesn't exist to bisexuals is negating their experiences, and relegating their opinions to second-rate.

I hope I have not offended you in any way with your own beliefs.

It's not surprising at all that a woman who is entirely heterosexual believes in such antiquated and close minded bullshit like this.

I'm sure if we were living in the 80s or even the 60s or 70s or even earlier you'd write about how homosexual men are choosing to be this way or they have a mental illness.

You realize that the "Straight, gay, or lying" study was total bullshit and the doctor Dr. J. Michael Bailey who did this study is for finding a gay gene so parents can abort future homosexual children. Also he's basically a closet case according to this article, The Chronicle: 6/20/2003: 'Dr. Sex' and he's been forced to resign from being an academic chairperson at Northwestern university.

He also thinks that Transsexual women are really just feminine men imitating women.

You mention queer theory and queer politics yet you know absolutely nothing about them which is not surprising.

You also do not know about fetishes but that's OK too since I've met tons of people who claim that they have a fetish when they do not at all. Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature.

Bisexual men and women are real. Do you think that women who call themselves bisexual are secretly Lesbian?

If you or anyone else wants to actually see a copy of the bogus study here's a link to it I found on Susie Bright's blog. http://susiebright.blogs.com/BiMen.pdf

I found the study on this blog entry.
Susie Bright's Journal : Take my Bisexual Husband? Please

You really do need to get out more, broaden your horizons, and meet people.

 

[bravestarr]

I am also surprised by the vituperation this subject has caused. I would never attack anyone and tell them how they feel or that their feelings are "invalid". No. I respect everyone's right to say who they are and what they are. That's not the point. I am merely talking in a general way about male sexuality and saying that it seems bisexual men are probably just gay men still partly in the closet (after all at least 40% of them end of later in life changing their minds and just coming out as gay) or straight guys who have tried sex with many different sorts of people of both genders and simply think that alone necessitates being labeled "bi."

 

[Mickactual]

And I will say again: most men are probably not as gay or straight as you think.

Every time I see an attrtactive straight man, I always pray this is the case. Even just a wee bit. :biggrin1: Unfortunately in my personal experience, I've never found this to be the case.
I have no doubt that bisexuals exist. But in my experience The term "bisexual" is used as a crutch & a smokescreen far too often. The folks I've met who've claimed to be bi have invariably turned out to be gay people who, for whatever reason, cannot accept the label "gay".

 

[D_Myer_Dogasflees]

In theory, NO, however people like to fruch with diffrent flavours from time to time, perhaps socially.

 

[LeeEJ]

My ex -- remember, she used to say she was "very bi" but later came out as gay -- once said to me, "I want you to myself, but I want Ellen [DeGeneres] to have all of ME!"

I joke now that she's 95% gay and that I have the remaining 5%.

My sister, though, certainly still has an attraction towards women, at least enough for the two of us to talk about attractive women we see on the street.

Of course neither my ex-gf or sister are men, but I think they're two examples of how bisexuality is a gray area and how individuals can shift one way or the other.