Do str8 guys "hate" women??

[rich-9.8]

Nah, it's bullshit. I like women, and have plenty of female friends without sex being any part of it.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

Tom Leykis does not speak for me. I'm convinced his entire life is a sham and he's just out to provoke people. It's not him that's worrying, it's the number of people who agree with him.

 

[B_All4show]

Many men desire to connect with others, male or female, on different levels the same as women do. I believe it's a matter of learning to communicate in a different way then you do with your girlfriends. Many of my male friends have stated that they love getting a female point of view, and that they appreciate that I don't judge what they share with me, even when they shock the hell out of me!

Gain 50lbs and start dressing in moo-moo to really test your theory. I think men or single men like to get your point of view because you are a gooding looking young women. They either want to bang you, get sexual energy from you, bang your friend or find out how to bang some one like you.

 

[Golden Graham]

I like women. Even the demanding ones! Women are sweet.

But seriously I have never really thought about being friends with a woman.

All my mates are blokes. Just seems natural to me.

A Girl I knew from years back, once said to me that women can never be good friends with a man, because the sex-thing always gets in the way.

That is just my experience anyway.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

that is such black and white thinking. so does that mean that the men that dont hate all women are realy bi or gay? and when a guy gets married or has a girlfriend does that mean a magic elf sprinkles pixie dust on them and makes them nice to women? if its only men does that make it start at puberty or legal adult age?

First I don't think I know what "all str8 guys" feel about anything. I think some guys may get hurt by a woman so they're pissed. Or maybe they feel that some women use their sexuality as a weapon against guys. There seems to be a stereotype of the guy who just wants women for his personal pleasure, and doesn't care about them at all. I'd say that my female & male friends really like each other whether they're dating or not. I know I've been frsutrated by my g/f's drama sometimes, but since I love her, I'll try my best to work things out.

 

[Ethyl]

What a load of horseshit.

Men can befriend women and sex doesn't have to be a part of it. All this talk about "sex getting in the way" of a friendship iis an excuse for people to be insensitive and loutish. I have more male friends than female friends and I know they genuinely like me.

Do some of them want to sleep with me? Probably.

Does it mean they don't want anything else from me? No.

Can they live without getting any and enjoy a physical-free relationship? They're all still talking to me. Some of my friends include an ex-husband, ex-boyfriend and two FWB's.

I don't want to hear about how men will do or say anything to sleep with a woman and that includes being her friend. If I don't want to sleep with someone, they'll know. What they do with that information is their responsibility. If a guy sticks around in hopes of getting laid and tries to use friendship as leverage, I can usually sniff this out and will rethink my interaction with said gent.

 

[B_Just Joe]

If anyone has listened to the Tom Lykos radio show, then you're probably aware of what he says about straight single men and women -- that straight, single men are ONLY interested in sex from a woman, and that straight single man wouldn't seek out a woman's company unless he was interested in having sex with her.

And it got me wondering: If you strip sex out of the equation, would straight, single men bother to have anything to do with women at all?

Or is it just that men can't help thinking about sex?

well its in the back of my mind pretty consistently but it doesnt govern my actons or decisions.

 

[2322]

What a load of horseshit.

Men can befriend women and sex doesn't have to be a part of it. All this talk about "sex getting in the way" of a friendship iis an excuse for people to be insensitive and loutish. I have more male friends than female friends and I know they genuinely like me.

Do some of them want to sleep with me? Probably.

Does it mean they don't want anything else from me? No.

Thank you! I grew-up in a large extended family with two sisters and loads of cousins male and female, many very attractive. As I'm not from the south, the thought of sleeping with them just seemed... wrong. It genuinely never occured to me. Same in school as well. I had lots of female friends and there was no problem. If I'm not attracted to a girl then I'm not. Angelina Jolie is objectively beautiful to me, but there's no spark. Scarlett Johansson though, I'd fuck her brains out. Lack of attraction doesn't mean I ignore someone if they're otherwise interesting, genuine, stimulating, and has a good sense of humor.

There's a lot to be said for having female friends and they can be extremely helpful when it comes to matters of the heart in ways guys can't. It's more than that though. I want people around me who are interesting, young or old, male or female. I've always been this way though maybe I'm weird and this is something that happens mostly as you get older?

 

[Ethyl]

There's a lot to be said for having female friends and they can be extremely helpful when it comes to matters of the heart in ways guys can't. It's more than that though. I want people around me who are interesting, young or old, male or female. I've always been this way though maybe I'm weird and this is something that happens mostly as you get older?

Likewise. I enjoy the company of men in general and have learned over the years that if you want to learn more about men, talk to men. I find women are sometimes just as guilty as men are about holding fast to stereotypes and myths of the opposite sex.

It's also more than this for me. I have friends of both genders, various ages, cultures, etc. I like to surround myself with interesting people because I learn more from them and thoroughly enjoy their company.

 

[pavement]

If anyone has listened to the Tom Lykos radio show, then you're probably aware of what he says about straight single men and women -- that straight, single men are ONLY interested in sex from a woman, and that straight single man wouldn't seek out a woman's company unless he was interested in having sex with her.

And it got me wondering: If you strip sex out of the equation, would straight, single men bother to have anything to do with women at all?

Or is it just that men can't help thinking about sex?

Well maybe a better question would be why it would get you to wondering.

 

[whatireallywant]

Part of the problem here is that people like him say the stuff he does, and then a certain kind of woman who calls herself a feminist says stuff against men, then men hate feminists! (I broke up with Asshole Boyfriend over this very issue! But he had attitudes about women, and what a man "should" be, that would CAUSE feminists to hate him! Including me...although "hate" may be too strong a word.)

I also thought the statement that if women ruled the world, there wouldn't be any wars to be stupid. There would just be wars fought by women. Gender stereotyping is wrong, whether it is perpetuated by sexist traditionalist men, or anti-sex "feminists" (who I don't think are feminist at all - oh, and I quit/was thrown out of, the Feminist Psychology Yahoo group over THIS very issue! Sigh...)

I am a feminist. I do NOT hate men. I dislike some men. But I also dislike some women. I take everyone as an individual.

I am also a tomboy, so I really do have many of the same interests as the "average" man. This can have its fun side too, when I go to groups of my interests and have a great male/female ratio! :biggrin1: (You'd think I'd date a lot more than I do, though!)

I grew up having a LOT of sexism directed at me. I was not allowed (or at least heavily discouraged) to pursue any of my (non sexual) interests as a child or teen. I probably did resent men at one point at time, just because they were doing all the stuff I wanted to do but was not allowed to. But then I just started seeing people as individuals. And that's where I am now. I always say that I was a feminist before I'd ever heard the term. I knew that things were unfair and that I should be allowed to pursue my interests at the age of six!

Oh, and I think the "anti-sex" ones are crazy! Although I think some may have come to be that way through childhood abuse. I was fortunate to have not been sexually abused as a child. I'm definitely a "pro-sex feminist"! :smile:

 

[carl honduras]

If you take sex out of the equation, you are talking about interaction on either a social or professional level.

Personally, when I'm in an all male group I find there is always an element of competition which is not there in female company, so it's more relaxed. I generally find conversation far easier with women than men.

I have good friends, male and female, but I interact with them in a different way.
You can't ignore the differences between men and women, but surely that's a good thing?

As regards sex, I have gay male friends, who may or may not find me attractive (I've never asked) but that doesn't affect the friendship.

On a professional or business level, I treat men and women completely equally, as I think do most people.

I think the real problem here is that Tom Lykos seems to be a complete prat.

 

[50%more]

Part of the problem here is that people like him say the stuff he does, and then a certain kind of woman who calls herself a feminist says stuff against men, then men hate feminists! (I broke up with Asshole Boyfriend over this very issue! But he had attitudes about women, and what a man "should" be, that would CAUSE feminists to hate him! Including me...although "hate" may be too strong a word.).......
:smile:

In the 70's there was a split in feminist thought. On one side was the Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem brand of feminism. On the other side was Camille Paglia. She was villainized and minimized by the other side, because she felt that if women can be allowed to be women, men should also be allowed to be men. Whereas the Steinem/Friedan school of thought often required men to deny their own nature in order to appease resentful women. I do not have any female friends (long term) that buy into the Friedan/Stienam brand of feminism. Most reasonable women that have never even heard of Camille Paglia tend to agree with her philosophy on gender relations.

PS. I have always had a fondness for tomboyish women (very sexy). I prefer a strong outspoken woman to a frail shy woman.

 

[Drifterwood]

It is a bit confusing sometimes. With a guy it's easy, I like him. With a woman, I like her, and she's cute. Actually as you get older it's easier to tell that you just like someone.

I don't think that this is one way traffic either.

I have women heroes.

Lots of the women here make me laugh.

I enjoy their intelligence and good practical advice.

It's not a gender thing anymore.

 

[whatireallywant]

In the 70's there was a split in feminist thought. On one side was the Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem brand of feminism. On the other side was Camille Paglia. She was villainized and minimized by the other side, because she felt that if women can be allowed to be women, men should also be allowed to be men. Whereas the Steinem/Friedan school of thought often required men to deny their own nature in order to appease resentful women. I do not have any female friends (long term) that buy into the Friedan/Stienam brand of feminism. Most reasonable women that have never even heard of Camille Paglia tend to agree with her philosophy on gender relations.

PS. I have always had a fondness for tomboyish women (very sexy). I prefer a strong outspoken woman to a frail shy woman.

I found this article yesterday that is similar to my position on the whole thing...

the f-word - 'Feminists are Sexist'

I actually do like Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan. It's the Andrea Dworkin type that I have issues with. I don't know much about Camille Paglia but I think from some reading, that some of her ideas are good too. I'm more about allowing people to be individuals. (I'm big on the 1970s children's TV show, now on DVD, called "Free To Be, You and Me"). Of course, being a tomboy in a VERY rigid sexist community growing up, I had a lot of difficulties which influenced my ideas on these issues.

I'm a shy tomboy but not frail (I don't think!) - don't know where that puts me in the scheme of things. I tend not to be outspoken and I'm really out on a limb on the issues being discussed here because it's such a hot button with me (due to my own experiences growing up and even what I continue to encounter to this day.)

As for who I'm friends with, makes no difference to me. Where I grew up, the women only wanted to be friends with men, and the men also only wanted to be friends with men. (as far as "friendship" goes, anyway). Now that I didn't like, and I wound up just disliking nearly everyone in the entire community (they didn't like me, either.) I didn't find this so much of a problem in the cities I have lived in, just in the rural community where I grew up, and strangely enough, the same mentality was present where I went to college, unfortunately.

I do admit that when I'm "friends" with men, sometimes I think about what it'd be like to have sex with them, though! :biggrin1: It isn't just men who are thinking about sex! I have written about the pitfalls of being a straight woman with a high sex drive and traditionally male interests. I go to meetings of my interests and I'm surrounded by all these men, and few if any other women to compete for their attention (providing the guys are straight, that is...), and I guess all that testosterone floating around makes me exceedingly horny! (Like I needed any "help" in that!)

That article I provided the link to above... I like what it has to say, and thought it was funny that it told at the end that the author of it likes Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body". Hey, I like that song, too! :biggrin1:

 

[50%more]

I found this article yesterday that is similar to my position on the whole thing...

the f-word - 'Feminists are Sexist'

I actually do like Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan. It's the Andrea Dworkin type that I have issues with. I don't know much about Camille Paglia but I think from some reading, that some of her ideas are good too. I'm more about allowing people to be individuals. (I'm big on the 1970s children's TV show, now on DVD, called "Free To Be, You and Me"). Of course, being a tomboy in a VERY rigid sexist community growing up, I had a lot of difficulties which influenced my ideas on these issues... :biggrin1:

Wow you wrote a lot and that article was really long. I don't read very fast so I skimmed through some of it. Let me also say that I appreciate your candor. Here are a few comments I have.

I agree with you about viewing people as individuals. To me sexism is the same as racism. There are stereotypes but many of us do not fit snuggly into these sterotypes. Some examples of this are asfollows: there is a stereotype that women tend to not have a good sense of direction as in north, south, east and west. But my gf is as good if not better than most guys in regard to this. She is also very athletic and can play almost any sport as good as most guys (good hand eye coordination). I had another female friend who was good at direction but very uncoordinated with most sports. Also women are stereotyped as not being very good at math, but I have personally known several woman who were very good at math.

On the other hand, I am not a stereotypical male. I like playing sports, but I do not enjoy wathcing them on TV as much as most guys. Also I turned out to be pretty good at english/languages/literature which is generally the territory of women. My gf blows me away in this area, she came to the US at 16 and the only way I can tell that English is her second language is from some of the idioms she uses.

Now in regard to Friedan and Steinam, I think they are a little militant in regard to how men should behave in order to appease women. If I am not mistaken they are very outspoken against female nudity and scantily clad women in Men's magazines. They think that this objectifies women and demeans them. Whereas Camille Paglia accepts this as part of the male nature, because she realizes that most men react to visual stimuli more than most women.

I have thought about sex with almost everyone of my female friends. But this does not mean that if I don't get sex, I want nothing to do with them. I do appreciate female company in and of itself. I don't need sex to help me appreciate them.

 

[whatireallywant]

Wow you wrote a lot and that article was really long. I don't read very fast so I skimmed through some of it. Let me also say that I appreciate your candor. Here are a few comments I have.

I agree with you about viewing people as individuals. To me sexism is the same as racism. There are stereotypes but many of us do not fit snuggly into these sterotypes. Some examples of this are asfollows: there is a stereotype that women tend to not have a good sense of direction as in north, south, east and west. But my gf is as good if not better than most guys in regard to this. She is also very athletic and can play almost any sport as good as most guys (good hand eye coordination). I had another female friend who was good at direction but very uncoordinated with most sports. Also women are stereotyped as not being very good at math, but I have personally known several woman who were very good at math.

On the other hand, I am not a stereotypical male. I like playing sports, but I do not enjoy wathcing them on TV as much as most guys. Also I turned out to be pretty good at english/languages/literature which is generally the territory of women. My gf blows me away in this area, she came to the US at 16 and the only way I can tell that English is her second language is from some of the idioms she uses.

Now in regard to Friedan and Steinam, I think they are a little militant in regard to how men should behave in order to appease women. If I am not mistaken they are very outspoken against female nudity and scantily clad women in Men's magazines. They think that this objectifies women and demeans them. Whereas Camille Paglia accepts this as part of the male nature, because she realizes that most men react to visual stimuli more than most women.

I have thought about sex with almost everyone of my female friends. But this does not mean that if I don't get sex, I want nothing to do with them. I do appreciate female company in and of itself. I don't need sex to help me appreciate them.

I'm with Camille Paglia on the nudity stuff but for different reasons. I think the men/women and visual thing is also a stereotype, just as the sense of direction thing and the math stuff (I'm good at math. Not quite as good with direction but can read maps really well). That's the main issue where I differ from Steinem/Friedan - the nudity/porn issue. I like looking at it myself, so why would I be against it? :biggrin1: Although I look at men. Which begs the question, if it supposedly objectifies women to pose nude, doesn't it also objectify men to pose nude? I guess that's how I see it anyway. And I'm opposed to double standards, so I'm ok with the nude pictures both men and women (although I prefer to look at the men!)

I'm not good at sports but I love to play them anyway - go figure! I think I used to be good at individual sports like running but I am so out of shape now, can't run at all. I play some team sports and I'm pretty bad but I like to play - if my team will have me! :biggrin1: As for watching sports, I don't do that as much as I used to. I always watch the Olympics and I used to be a big NBA fan (how much of that was the game itself and how much of that was ogling all those really tall men in shorts I have no idea! :tongue: ) I'm on here all the time now and don't watch TV. :biggrin1:

The really fun thing for me is to go to technology meetings. I'm usually the only woman in the room, and a lot of the meetings are mostly young men to men around my age, so I really enjoy the view! Of course, sometimes I have trouble concentrating on the reason for the meeting itself...the technology stuff (and I have reason to be there myself too, not just for the men! I have an IT background and am currently looking for work as an application developer.)

 

[wldhoney]

Gain 50lbs and start dressing in moo-moo to really test your theory. I think men or single men like to get your point of view because you are a gooding looking young women. They either want to bang you, get sexual energy from you, bang your friend or find out how to bang some one like you.

I have to disagree. Not only do I work in a field where my co-workers are mostly guys, and because of the kind of work we do we are a pretty tight group and very good friends. Most of them are married or have girlfriends, some are totally faithful, some cheat, and some are single. It kind of goes with the territory. All of us discuss personal aspects in our lives, including sex. I am fully aware of the ones who are as you described, but there are also the ones who ask for advice on their wives or girlfriends.

I am sure that their are good looking women who catch their attention, and they wonder what she would be like in bed, just as women wonder the same thing about men. It's natural. However, that does not mean that you cannot be close friends with them.

One of my friends left his wife, rented a room from me, met his girlfriend, now fiance, moved in with her, and is now in the process of buying a house with her. Him and I sat up many a night talking, but there was never anything sexual between us, and he is a 6'6" very handsome man. There was simply nothing there.

Sure, men and women can have sex. Lots of it. Some, however, look for quality over quantity, and just because someone is attractive does not mean there is a "chemistry".

There is no such thing as "never" or "always". What you see and feel is where YOU are in your life right now, and chances are those you befriend and hang out with are of like mind. Hopefully, one day that will change and you can appreciate a woman on a different level. It's simply a matter of where you focus is.

 

[PenisMuseum]

I believe MOST straight women feel it is fair and just to USE men to their advantage. Most see sex as a currency, to trade sexual favors in exchange for whatever it is they want: A night out, a nice home or cars, plush lifestyle, freedom from work responsibilities, children and guaranteed income...

Guys just want attention and affection.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

PS. I have always had a fondness for tomboyish women (very sexy). I prefer a strong outspoken woman to a frail shy woman.

Same here. Give me a spitfire over a dainty violet any day.