Gay men who DON'T like pride events

[Crose10]

Never been to a pride parade, not sure I would like it. First off it’s always hot as hell during the summer in California and 2nd I’m not sexy enough to dressed skimpy.
I always feel out of place at events similar to that because I’m not a skinny legend twink or muscle gay I’m just an average guy, I’d rather just chill at a bar have some drinks, dance a little and have some good laughs not the social pressure that those kind of places have.

 

[kanhak]

Well anybody can enjoy life the way they wish to if it doesn't hurt anybody physically or emotionally.

That being said, I feel gays could empower themselves more by being active in politics, science, art, sports, and space research.

Power and money is what gays truly need. Nothing can beat power. Be it emotional power or otherwise.

Hence, the money and energy put on porn and parades can be used for the empowerment of gays of all ages.

A support system like that seen among strict Jews where they have their own hospitals ambulance, schools, hotels and entire towns. Such power can mean a lot to gays and vulnerable gays.

 

[Shadowil]

I went to s pride parade 2 years ago when I was 29, I didn't like it at all, it's just not my thing.

 

[majmaj2]

I'm asocial which I'm trying to less of. I struggle in social situations. I haven't been to a Pride event.

 

[michael_3165]

I find Pride events to be somewhat aversive nowadays.
I used to attend them religiously - getting in on the carnival etc. However over time it has turned into a who's who of "alternative" scenes.
It may be because I've aged but I don't see why people need to walk around in leather, butt-less chaps, skimpy underwear and glitter/angel wings.

I suspect it is mainly because of how I feel. I was bullied mercilessly as a teenager for being "a fag" and so ultra-camp, hyper-effeminate and over-the-top queeny behaviour really repulses me.

That said, when I was in my late teens/early 20s I loved going. I guess over time my feelings have changed as I've starting thinking about them!

On a side note, I never got the "pride" thing until recently when someone mentioned gay shame. That said, should we be "proud" of our sexual preferences? Aren't we marking ourselves out as different by saying "gay and proud"?

 

[michael_3165]

I don't want to argue with Cloppo or anybody else as all are entitled to their opinion.....but to say that I am displaying internalised homophobia because of some discomfort with effeminate homosexuals is a bit harsh. Many many gay men have come through a difficult youth and unjustly been accused of being effeminate even when they weren't simply because an unsympathetic society once thought gay men were all effeminate. No wonder that as they get older they would avoid the excessive effeminate behaviour which stirred up society's hatred.

Yes I know the incremental changes and freedoms have been hard fought battles but surely the successes of the past are not celebrated by guys displaying bulges in jockstraps or dressing up in female clothing . As you get older some of seek a little dignity in middle age.

THIS! Though I admit I have certain sensitivities because I was bullied terribly.
Had I some "normal" appearing gay people as role models growing up (in the media) I probably would have a different view. But on TV all we saw was Brian Dowling, Dale Winton, Julian Clarey (argh!) and then Lily Savage etc - none of which were particularly non-feminine. The message I received was "gays are camp, screeching queens who ham it up and attention seek".

As I said before, arse-less chaps, leather bondage gear etc isn't helping the image of gay people. Pride should be where the whole family could stumble across it and get involved and walk away feeling positive about gay people. I wouldn't want my child to see people walking around with whips, dressed in sexual fetish paraphernalia etc. Its not needed.

Either we want to steer away from it being about what we do in the bedroom and more that gay people are normal people. It doesn't need to be some freak-show where people point, stare and think "I don't want my kids to be part of that group".

That said, I do adore the gay SCENE. Wonderful people, a warm community and never judgemental from my experience. I feel "at home" when I am on the scene, something I don't in other environments.

 

[secret_agent]

THIS! Though I admit I have certain sensitivities because I was bullied terribly.
Had I some "normal" appearing gay people as role models growing up (in the media) I probably would have a different view. But on TV all we saw was Brian Dowling, Dale Winton, Julian Clarey (argh!) and then Lily Savage etc - none of which were particularly non-feminine. The message I received was "gays are camp, screeching queens who ham it up and attention seek".

As I said before, arse-less chaps, leather bondage gear etc isn't helping the image of gay people. Pride should be where the whole family could stumble across it and get involved and walk away feeling positive about gay people. I wouldn't want my child to see people walking around with whips, dressed in sexual fetish paraphernalia etc. Its not needed.

Either we want to steer away from it being about what we do in the bedroom and more that gay people are normal people. It doesn't need to be some freak-show where people point, stare and think "I don't want my kids to be part of that group".

That said, I do adore the gay SCENE. Wonderful people, a warm community and never judgemental from my experience. I feel "at home" when I am on the scene, something I don't in other environments.

Yup, agree. Modern day Pride parades have become nothing more than Halloween in the summer with crazy outfits. Why aren't the parades protesting outside the embassies of the many Commonwealth countries who are anti gay? Even if the authorities will not allow such demonstrations why aren't there placards carried in the parades listing all the offending countries.
The whole pride thing has become a pink washed commercialised street party when it should be far more political and progressive. It is almost as if we have stopped half way and now only want to celebrate rather than protest and demand change. And btw.....one UK football player coming out in 30 years is not my idea of progress.

 

[rbkwp]

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says it better than i
irritates me,whenn some go overboard expressing their sexuality/maybe wokish
but talking those going well overboard
no real need,in my books
if you want to be an exhibitionist,flash your cock,no dancing like a crazed nutter haha

 

[deleted3995701]

I'm not a fan of them anymore. Too many people.

 

[MilfBanger78]

Not gay but i dislike the whole thing. Just a way for corporations to suck up and pander. I want everyone to live their lives in peace but the pandering, ugh..

 

[trav.]

I’ve been only a couple of times. Not my scene. It’s not even called GAY Pride anymore. That should have been a clue. Bland, corporate, desexed, infantile and female oriented.

A lot of chain smoking, drunk hipsters in tie-dyed shirts. Children and large dogs. No individuality. Horrible music. One of the vendors had Greek food from a local restaurant. Most of the generous portion of white rice was undercooked. One of the few good looking guys there only gave me a pink balloon.

As a gay man, I felt cheated and invisible.

 

[chrisrobin]

I've never attended a pride event because all the screaming and queening and letting off pink balloons just makes me cringe. Was this what so many men marched for in the past, the right to be silly and high-pitched in public? Inevitably anybody who questions the near-nudity and excessive behaviour is accused of being old or boring but is this carnival silliness really necessary when it can so easily provoke a backlash and threaten the hard won freedoms. It is almost as if some guys are fuelling the flames of controversy simply because they can. A dignified equality would be better than a flamboyant parade.

Just my opinion. Please don't shout at me.

Its a lot of fancy costumes - or lack of them - the weird and the wonderful trying to pretend life is all good and then the screaming queening and preening going on enforcing a stereotype that's far from the truth.
Like so many "groups" of people its the overbearing loud insistent minority speaking for a majority which is far from the truth.

 

[Vastian]

I live in sf and pride week is a pretty big thing here. I used to go every year when I was younger.(37 now) I did have a great time it was fun. Never got to see the parade. Never got there early enough to get a good spot and not comfortable pushing through a crowd. I'd say maybe 6ish years ago I lost the interest in going. I have no issue with it. The party, drinking, sexual energy. I just don't enjoy the massive crowds. I extremely dislike waiting in line for 40 mins to get into a bar that is so crowded you can't move. I also just feel completely insulted to pay $14 for a drink that is weaker than the normal drinks that are $6 for 2 drinks in bigger glasses when not pride.