Have you been cheated ON? How did it make you feel?

[Ramsey]

Ok, there's been tons of threads asking if you have cheated, and what seems like some trolling around here about cheating fantasies, so here's the other side of the coin.

Have you been cheated on? If so, how did it make you feel? Like shit? Or it didn't bother you?

 

[kit_kat]

The last time: I felt very hurt and angry and stopped answering his phone calls and I totally ignored him in public - acted as if he wasn't there, pretty soon we didn't run into each other much. However I was also relieved because he had a really tiny micro penis, I'm talking micro - where he had to hold on to the "snug fit" condoms and I was glad I didn't have to deal with that any more. After a while I ran into him and his new girlfriend, I ignored them, but I thought "there but for the grace of G-d..." and the anger went away and I just felt relieved.

Ok, there's been tons of threads asking if you have cheated, and what seems like some trolling around here about cheating fantasies, so here's the other side of the coin.

Have you been cheated on? If so, how did it make you feel? Like shit? Or it didn't bother you?

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

being cheated on made me feel like shit. it made me feel insecure, unworthy, unattractive, and especially betrayed.

but in the long run it helped me realize i didn't need an douchey-asshole like him in my life. he didn't make me happy and the only person who can make me happy was myself. ending the relationship was a good decision and i'm glad i didn't stick around and forgive him for what he did to me.

that was years ago, and i am much happier now... and i also have a bigger and thicker cock in my life! wahoooooo :lmao:

 

[overninept5]

No. I am pretty sure of it. And I would NEVER do that to anyone. My word is my bond. And I expect the same.

 

[curiouscam]

Well it made me feel like shit and then of course that turned in to anger. I found out after the relationship ended so it just made the mourning take that much longer. I saw a Shrink for 2 years afterward and was on Zoloft for an additional year. I think the part that hurt most was knowing that we were still having sex while he was hooking up with these people. I couldn't understand why he would expose me to STDs and lord knows what else if he truly loved me. Being cheated on for me was devistating and it changed the way I view love and relationships. The biggest lesson I learned: There is nothing you can do to stop someone from cheating.

 

[Pitbull]

The last time: I felt very hurt and angry ....

The last time implies more than one occurrence.

I just looked at your gallery photo.

Some men I just can't figure out.

 

[conchis]

it's like a knife in the stomach, it's like being made of glass inside, a simple move and you bleed...

 

[kit_kat]

Thanks.

I vaguely remember something like that happening before this last time but I have forgotten the details and don't remember much about the guy except after him I stopped dating ugly guys for "personality" - the main thing I remember from that is thinking "he's that ugly and he cheated?" So these days the guy has to be hot and carrying a big stick - well a stick of a decent enough size to keep a condom in place.

The last time implies more than one occurrence.

I just looked at your gallery photo.

Some men I just can't figure out.

 

[invisibleman]

Ok, there's been tons of threads asking if you have cheated, and what seems like some trolling around here about cheating fantasies, so here's the other side of the coin.

Have you been cheated on? If so, how did it make you feel? Like shit? Or it didn't bother you?

Yeah. It pissed me off. He was the one who wanted the monogamous relationship in the first place. We were together for six years.

It bothered me. It cost him our friendship. I tell you that.

One thing I do know, I definately do not have any cheating fantasies.
It isn't good to have a heart.

 

[invisibleman]

Thanks.

I vaguely remember something like that happening before this last time but I have forgotten the details and don't remember much about
the guy except after him I stopped dating ugly guys for "personality" - the main thing I remember from that is thinking "he's that ugly and he cheated?" So these days the guy has to be hot and carrying a big stick - well a stick of a decent enough size to keep a condom in place.

Wow. :frown1:

 

[bigjpgh]

I don't mind it at all, and in fact have told her that if she feels a need for something different, go right ahead, I just ask that I know about it. The only thing I was pissed about is that she still waited to tell me about it. The actual act I have no problem with. So many issues and so much stress would be relieved if people were more open sexually and more open to sex outside the relationship. Is sex all there is so that if someone has sex with someone outside the relationship should end? I know for me there is so much more than just sex, and just because there is sex outside our relationship doesnt mean our sex stops, far from it. I just think "cheating" gets blown up to a much bigger deal than it is or needs to be.

 

[Silvertip]

I was once, and it totally pissed me off!

 

[Wish-4-8]

Well, it sucks.

The whole thing went through stages. There is the intial shock. That is the hurt. I literaly saw my whole future with her flash before my eyes. Everything that I had planned for in the future, everthing I wanted to do was an image flashing in my mind so fast. And the feeling that those things will now never happen. I really loved this girl. She was far from perfect, but who is.

I cried. I had not in years, for anything. It was more of a feeling of lost and unfairness then self worthlessness. It actually felt good to cry. It made me feel human. I was glad to see that I was still capable of showing myself in a most vuneralbe state.

I went through a range of emotions. The strangest was actually physical. I actually went felt phyically numb on one side of my body when I knew it was really over. I tried to work things out hoping there was some saving grace. All on the condition that she would be completely 100% honest and tell me everything. I did not want to go through the shock of finding out more and wanted to take the hit all at once and get it over with. Besides, the type of cheating she did was still salvageable in my mind.

But she lied. And others knew more about it than I did. When I found this part out, that is when I felt the physical part. And I didnt find out from her. A feeling I never want to go through again. But I just hope I wont. Then I find out that it was at least two different guys. Yeah, she did the bad kind of cheating. Its who she is and I am not going to expect that she is going to change. Besides, I want better for myself.

The best part about this was that I found out a lot about myself. I really grew from that as a person and I am most proud at how I handled it all. I am better off without her anyway in so many ways. Then I find out that my family and friends didnt really like her at all, and were just being polite because they care about me.

So I feel it worked out for the best in the end.

 

[exwhyzee]

Have you been cheated on? If so, how did it make you feel? Like shit? Or it didn't bother you?

I don't ever want to feel those feelings again. I felt stupid for not having figured it out sooner, I felt betrayed, I felt less self worth, all capped off with anger and shock. Its hard enough for me to trust someone, going through that makes it even harder the next time.

I am sooo not cut out to be in a relationship.

 

[ibostyle11]

I've been the one who was used to cheat on the girl's bf. Made me feel like a piece of meat actually ={

 

[Ramsey]

I am sooo not cut out to be in a relationship.

Don't confuse not feeling cut out for a relationship with being in relationships with shitty people. It's a lot different. Believe it or not, there are other compassionate people in the world, but finding them is like scraping through a mountain of manure and finding a diamond. And about as rare too.

 

[rothas]

Yes, and I have felt all of these feelings.

 

[dolfette]

first time around i was preggers and it was with my sister, so i was angry.
second time around i was on the cusp of ending it anyway so i didn't really care.
i didn't feel like shit, i just lost respect for the people involved.

 

[badgirl22]

Last boyfriend I had did - made me mad - brought out my competitive spirit and I just wanted to *win* I discovered he was lying to me and I set out to uncover all his lies. Turned out he was basically pathalogical - It felt sort of like a game to me because I felt like I was playing a player - What really pissed me off was I had told him I was fine just dating if he wanted to be with other women and he insisted I was the only one and he also insisted if I slept with anyone else we were done. I documented lie after lie and finally just walked away when I spoke with his girl friend...of FOUR YEARS! He called me sneaky and a liar (HAHAHA) and demanded I give him back all the gifts he ever gave me. I did and I walked away feeling like I was smarter which made me happy. Aside from being mad I felt like I'd wasted a good 5 months of my time with the scumbag looser...

My parting words...You're smart but I'm smarter. A bigger penis will be easy to find. A bigger dick...doubtful! LOLOLOL! So true too!

 

[hud01]

Twice, both times the relationship was nearing its end anyway. The only thing I hated was the lying. The second one to this day, four years later, won't admit to it, but she is with the guy that I accused her of having the affair with.

 

[helgaleena]

Yes I have been cheated on. I do not cheat myself ever, and give fair warning to those I am seeing when they are not my only.

I think the worst time was when I caught them in bed together, and I was not upset, I only ran quickly to take off all my clothes and jump in with them-- and they told me to go away. :bigeyes2:

We were in a foreign country so I had noplace to run, had to stay with my meal ticket.

It is never good. It's dishonest of the other person at the very least.

 

[Skull Mason]

I don't mind it at all, and in fact have told her that if she feels a need for something different, go right ahead, I just ask that I know about it. The only thing I was pissed about is that she still waited to tell me about it. The actual act I have no problem with. So many issues and so much stress would be relieved if people were more open sexually and more open to sex outside the relationship. Is sex all there is so that if someone has sex with someone outside the relationship should end? I know for me there is so much more than just sex, and just because there is sex outside our relationship doesnt mean our sex stops, far from it. I just think "cheating" gets blown up to a much bigger deal than it is or needs to be.

my view EXACTLY

 

[rothas]

My wife wants to fuck around again. This time she has let me know, but I'm not sure if I can handle it.

 

[exwhyzee]

I am beginning to understand that there is a sliding scale for the act of sex. On one side...sex is simply a physical act that can be done with anyone - regardless of feelings or intimacy. On the other side...sex is an emotional act that is intimate and has meaning - and requires a deep connection, commitment, and exclusivity.

I'm somewhere in the middle. I can't have sex for the sake of sex, and I find the idea that my "partner" would have sex randomly with others completely foreign. On the other hand, I don't consider myself a hopeless romantic with expectations of marriage and growing old in rocking chairs while gazing longingly into each other's eyes.

I guess the trouble starts when opposites in this spectrum attract. For one side of the spectrum, Tiger Wood's actions might be completely acceptable. For the other, the idea of "one life, one partner" might be worse than a life sentence in prison.

PS: My "physical-emotional" scale is hastily put together, and can be improved upon. More input is valued!

 

[exwhyzee]

Don't confuse not feeling cut out for a relationship with being in relationships with shitty people. It's a lot different. Believe it or not, there are other compassionate people in the world, but finding them is like scraping through a mountain of manure and finding a diamond. And about as rare too.

I hear ya, and I appreciate the sentiment, but I've been in enough relationships to know I'm not relationship material...in respect to this thread's theme...and soooo many others.

Besides...who wants to scrape through a mountain of manure??? NOT me. Someone else can have that diamond! :wink:

 

[dolfette]

I am beginning to understand that there is a sliding scale for the act of sex. On one side...sex is simply a physical act that can be done with anyone - regardless of feelings or intimacy. On the other side...sex is an emotional act that is intimate and has meaning - and requires a deep connection, commitment, and exclusivity.

PS: My "physical-emotional" scale is hastily put together, and can be improved upon. More input is valued!

i'm three feet to the side of your scale.
i'm cold hearted AND frigid.
ha!

 

[mako shark]

I felt pretty stupid at first that I never knew my ex wife was fooling around during our 23 years of marriage. The worst part is my grown daughter had to tell me that she caught her mom cheating... The "good" part is that I found out while we were getting divorced and it was one "one more reason" I left that pile of shit.

 

[ginger_qboy]

I don't mind it at all, and in fact have told her that if she feels a need for something different, go right ahead, I just ask that I know about it. The only thing I was pissed about is that she still waited to tell me about it. The actual act I have no problem with. So many issues and so much stress would be relieved if people were more open sexually and more open to sex outside the relationship. Is sex all there is so that if someone has sex with someone outside the relationship should end? I know for me there is so much more than just sex, and just because there is sex outside our relationship doesnt mean our sex stops, far from it. I just think "cheating" gets blown up to a much bigger deal than it is or needs to be.

:arms: i agree 100%

People have been conditioned to react negatively to sex and sex outside a relationship. to me, an emotional affair signals a problem but not sex - that's human nature.

 

[bigjpgh]

Thanks ginger and skull for getting my back. This viewpoint seems to be in the minority, yet I think that if we weren't conditioned to strict monogamy. were open and honest about our desires, and realized that relationships of varying kinds are part of being in a social society, that everyone would be alot happier. I dont even think that being with someone besides your significant other emotionally is a sign of problems, while physical only is just fine. I am of the opinion that all relationships have some level of both physical and emotional connection. People don't get upset when their significant other has an extremely emotional relationship with their best friend, yet some best friend relationships are much more involved than alot of the physical "cheating" that goes on. My view, and I realize it is not shared by many, is that your significant other does not need to be your only physical or emotional partner, nor should they be because variety is both the proverbial spice of life as well as healthy for any relationship. If a system is closed to only 2 bodies, the ways that they can interact are finite, limited, and few. Add even one more body to the system and the interactions increase exponentially. It is this increase in interactions that can drive relationships to new and exciting places. As far as having a significant other, well, I think that should be the person that you have the strongest, most enjoyable, most desirable, longest lasting emotional and physical connections. Not the only one, just the best one that you come back to after having fun with others, whether that be physical, emotional, or some combination of the two.

 

[hesastar18]

made me feel worthless