Infidelity

[Drifterwood]

I will never have enough faith in anyone to marry him without a prenuptual agreement.

Some might say that that means that you shouldn't get married at all then.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Some might say that that means that you shouldn't get married at all then.

I'm not very romantic. Those people are impractical. Marriages aren't always forever. I'm not clairvoyant. If mine ends, I don't want any fighting, bickering, or dragging things out. We'll both have separate legal counsel before signing, and if it ends we'll part per our agreement, and that's that.

 

[Drifterwood]

What if you can't agree on the terms of the Pre Nup, AE?

 

[HyperHulk]

I'm not very romantic. Those people are impractical. Marriages aren't always forever. I'm not clairvoyant. If mine ends, I don't want any fighting, bickering, or dragging things out. We'll both have separate legal counsel before signing, and if it ends we'll part per our agreement, and that's that.

The smartest, best thing you can do for yourself if you're going to get married is get a pre-nup. My dutch g/f told me that it's common practice in the Netherlands. Over half of marriages end the US ends in divorce. If you had half a chance of crashing everytime you drove a car would you not wear a seatbelt, a helmet, drive slower, pad your car, get airbags everywhere, pay attention to everything and have a high insurance policy? Hell, you might not even drive. The point is, you'd protect yourself and not because you don't have any faith in your ability to drive but because you want to make sure that if you ever get in an accident, you can at least walk away alive. Get a pre-nup and if you live in a community property state like CA, keep your assets prior to marriage completely separate and maintain good records.:tongue:

 

[alex8.5]

I have a fair size estate. I could not imagine having my B/F sign a pre nup. To me that's saying I love you but dude I sure as hell don't trust you. I guess after 15 years together I'm pretty safe. He would not want me to sign one either.

I don't agree with them, no matter how much money is involved. It's only money and stuff.

 

[AlteredEgo]

What if you can't agree on the terms of the Pre Nup, AE?

Why wouldn't we be able to agree on the terms? How would I, someone who discusses so much in advance, get that far with a man who would want terms so diametrical to mine that we could not come to compromise? That's completely unfathomable. At any rate, we sign on the dotted line or move on. I wouldn't have children without the legal protections of marriage, and I wouldn't have a marriage without the legal protections of a prenuptual agreement.

The smartest, best thing you can do for yourself if you're going to get married is get a pre-nup.

I don't agree with them, no matter how much money is involved. It's only money and stuff.

That's true when you aren't at war. And sometimes, when the unthinkable happens and an unforseen split occurs, the person who was once worthy of your trust and esteem becomes a different person under the influence of resentment, and bitterness. If you don't want there to be a struggle, you have to either let them take whatever you built for yourself, or you have to already agree in advance how you will divide all the money and stuff in unfortunate case that your time together comes to an end.

You, alex8.5, are more romantic than practical.
​

 

[The Dragon]

I'm with you AlteredEgo.
But then if I was to put mt assets into my childrens names and become as poor as a church mouse and got involved with someone I would sign a prenup.
Why?
Because my reasons for being with someone are never motivated by money.
They have a right to keep the assets they entered into the marriage with.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Some choose to deny such attractions even exist...others acknowledge them, but suppress their desires for a variety of reasons...still others act on them and rationalize it in some way. This, I believe, is what the OP was driving at...getting a peek into the thoughts of those who chose not to resist these impulses.

Ah, now here's an interesting facet of the gem. Some people romanticize self-denial as the ultimate badge of honor. I do not. I'm a little more pragmatic than that.

I'm not very romantic. Those people are impractical. Marriages aren't always forever. I'm not clairvoyant. If mine ends, I don't want any fighting, bickering, or dragging things out. We'll both have separate legal counsel before signing, and if it ends we'll part per our agreement, and that's that.

Another pragmatic. I love ya, sweetie!

I have a fair size estate. I could not imagine having my B/F sign a pre nup. To me that's saying I love you but dude I sure as hell don't trust you. I guess after 15 years together I'm pretty safe. He would not want me to sign one either.

I don't agree with them, no matter how much money is involved. It's only money and stuff.

That's naive. Could you possibly imagine a pre-nup from a non-egocentric point of view? Then, it would be like saying, "I love you, dude. I love you enough to protect you as well as protecting myself." My partner of about 7 years has more assets than do I, but I would be more than happy to sign a pre-nup if we are ever allowed to marry. In my mind, it would say to him "I love you and want to be with you and your assets have nothing to do with that."

Do you also see getting life insurance as saying, "I hope you die so I can get money"?

Putting financial or legal protections in place in a relationship, to me, shows more commitment than not. I can't understand why anyone thinks that wanting those protections means that you desire to put them to use. I have fire extinguishers in my house, but that doesn't mean I want the place to burn.

 

[No_Strings]

I wouldn't embarass myself by fighting with an (ex)wife. I wouldn't marry someone who would.

Though it'll never come to it, my partner and I have both declared our best intentions should anything unforeseen happen that we leave with what we came with, stay friends and keep things civil. Nothing could happen to make me stop loving her, in whatever form that love takes. Neither of us are petty enough to go against our 'verbal per-nup'.
If the sexual element ever did become removed from our relationship, I'd still be her best friend.

 

[HazelGod]

Prenups remind me of the suicide capsule they give Jodie Foster's character in Contact, saying there a thousand reasons they can think of why she might need it...but it's mostly for the reasons they can't think of that she has it.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

There's the old accountant's saying..
Why bother getting married?
Why not just buy a house for someone you can't stand?

 

[HazelGod]

Or Robin Williams:

Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning "to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

 

[The Dragon]

There's the old accountant's saying..
Why bother getting married?
Why not just buy a house for someone you can't stand?

Charlie Sheen also said it.

 

[invisibleman]

I will never have enough faith in anyone to marry him without a prenuptual agreement.

I agree. Bilateral prenuptual agreements could address a lot of problems. Maybe find out that you guys aren't compatible and/or compromising in the process. Marriage is a parnership. Marriage is a business.

 

[Lex]

I wouldn't embarass myself by fighting with an (ex)wife. I wouldn't marry someone who would.

Though it'll never come to it, my partner and I have both declared our best intentions should anything unforeseen happen that we leave with what we came with, stay friends and keep things civil. Nothing could happen to make me stop loving her, in whatever form that love takes. Neither of us are petty enough to go against our 'verbal per-nup'.
If the sexual element ever did become removed from our relationship, I'd still be her best friend.

As DC DEEP and his hubby once said to me "If you can't be someone's ex, you should not be with them to begin with."

 

[rexcasual]

Hmmm, maybe Ms.Teacher needs to hook up with Italian1.

Seems like a match made in _______. :newangel:




.

A mirror?

lol...HG. I was just about to post something exactly along those lines. Very succinctly done.

This (perhaps too subtle) hint was put out there long ago. Now he's banned again. Bows.

 

[Rubenesque]

I've never cheated on a partner, and never knowingly been with a man I know to be attached.

 

[MrGoodDate]

I love marriage and family and grandchildren.
Happiness comes through others.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

It makes me wonder, how many others get around the bans and create new profiles and are still here under other names, or multiple accounts going about their business. If you are keen at networking/Internet skills almost anything is possible.

I think Ms Teacher was Italian1.

 

[Fed Agent]

So, anyone currently cheating? Thoughts on a married guy having a mistress whom he fucks weekly? What if he loves his wife and family but is totally addicted to the wild sex with a mistress?