Insensitive prick

[SuckmeNOW]

Well I am taking the piss a bit, but honestly, you're confusing a sense of attraction with a sense of entitlement. He doesn't owe you anything in terms of his behaviour, the sooner you see that as the life lesson that it is, the better.

I'm fully aware he doesn't owe me anything. A little bit of sensitivity would of been nice. Asking my permission for gods sake. Like i could say no knowing it would make them both unhappy.

 

[SuckmeNOW]

Frankly, you're the insensitive one and being inconsiderate too. Just because people don't agree with you or see your point of view doesn't warrant that response.

The guy (your mate) was trying to do the right thing by you by asking you if you cared if he dated your friend. What is wrong with that? And to top it all of you're mad at him for being straight and not gaga over you. That's some fu'd up stuff.

Grow up.

Don't know if you read everything i have written on this thread. Him not liking me IS NOT the problem. Asking my permission was. If he had of TOLD me it would off been different. A very small and subtle difference but a difference none the less, in my opinion.

 

[SuckmeNOW]

Frankly, you're the insensitive one and being inconsiderate too. Just because people don't agree with you or see your point of view doesn't warrant that response.

The guy (your mate) was trying to do the right thing by you by asking you if you cared if he dated your friend. What is wrong with that? And to top it all of you're mad at him for being straight and not gaga over you. That's some fu'd up stuff.

Grow up.

And when i said i was expecting people to disagree with me i wanted to know whether i was right or wrong (it seems i am wrong). but immature things such as 'do you cry when you see your favourite celebrity holding hands with someone else' was just uneeded and unwanted.

 

[Countryguy63]

SmNow,

Please step back out of your feelings and look at the situation.

He WAS sensitive to you and your feelings. He asked and checked with YOU as a friend that he cared/cares about. To be mad at him over that, is letting jealousy cloud your thoughts.

But, if you're not going to listen to the major majority here, you don't have to. :frown1:

 

[Endued]

And when i said i was expecting people to disagree with me i wanted to know whether i was right or wrong (it seems i am wrong). but immature things such as 'do you cry when you see your favourite celebrity holding hands with someone else' was just uneeded and unwanted.

But I really wanted to know. :frown1:

 

[SuckmeNOW]

SmNow,

Please step back out of your feelings and look at the situation.

He WAS sensitive to you and your feelings. He asked and checked with YOU as a friend that he cared/cares about. To be mad at him over that, is letting jealousy cloud your thoughts.

But, if you're not going to listen to the major majority here, you don't have to. :frown1:

I am listening to the majority here and it would appear i am in the wrong (which was half what i wanted to find out even if i did not make that clear in my first post). I am not mad at him as such i just didn't want to have to give or not give my permission. I dont have a RIGHT over people's lives. my exact words were 'Permision!!! You don't need my permission!'.

And for the ones telling me to grow up - i'd like to rietorate that last sentence. He did NOT need my permission and i told him that. I refuse to be giving control like that. so i'm mature enough to say that.

 

[SuckmeNOW]

But I really wanted to know. :frown1:

That made me laugh. And no i don't. The nearest i get to crying is whenever i say Cheryl Cole just because she bores me to tears. haha

 

[SuckmeNOW]

He told you he lost his virginity because he's excited about it. Wants to tell someone because its a great thing. wants to share something exciting with a friend. Then he asks if you mind he wants to go and try again? Im not sure what sort of friend the woman is, whether he fancies his chances or he's just being polite and saying he's gotta go.

he might know you are gay, but actually you post 50/50, so would he even think of you as being gay and interested in him like that? Its a question of mindset. If your straight and a man then you naturally think of women as the ones you and all men are interested in. Especially if you being bi do so too.

Or do you fancy both of them, which is damn annoying when they disappear off together.

That is another thing. I had NO IDEA they even spoke to one another. And no i don't fancy her. She's not my type. Bit too introvert.

 

[dandelion]

thing is, I think were guessing a bit here about the relationships involved.

 

[monel]

That is another thing. I had NO IDEA they even spoke to one another. And no i don't fancy her. She's not my type. Bit too introvert.

You need to figure out what is actually bothering you. You don't mind that he is dating your female friend, only that he "asked your permission". But I'm finding it hard to accept that this is at the core of your anger. I dont' think he was really asking your permission to date her so much as how you would feel about it. That shows him to be a considerate friend. I still think, based on your posts, that you want him to be more than just a friend. That he can't be is causing you pain. Understandable but that's your issue, not his.

 

[dandelion]

so we have two mates of yours who as far as you know, dont know each other. Then guy comes by and tells you hes just had sex with girl. So he comes in all excited to tell you his good news. Then he notices it isnt quite such good news. So then he asks if theres a problem about him and her?

 

[craig_uk]

SuckmeNOW I think you are misjudging this guy. He really hasn't done anything wrong.

He told you he lost his virginity because you are important to him. He didn't tell you to upset you. He seems very considerate of your feelings. When you say he asked your permission to date your friend I just see this as asking how you feel about the situation. He really doesn't want to hurt you and is being as considerate as he knows how to be.

He seems like a great friend to have. You shouldn't be annoyed at him. You are upset because you fancy him but you know he is straight and if you want your relationship to continue you must accept that.

 

[helgaleena]

He's not the insensitive one. I think he's far tooo sensitive if he thinks he needs a mere friend's permission to date somebody. Turn it around; if you found somebody would you be asking HIS permission? Of course you wouldn't.

What you have discovered is that your friend is in some ways less mature than you are. He's fallen off a pedestal in your mind where you had kept him and now is seeming less worthy of the crush you once had upon him.

Cut your friend some slack and just be there for him as he 'grows up' emotionally. Perhaps he's had a habit of sharing absolutely everything with a sibling or other friend away from uni, and you think it's TMI. And if it ever comes up, let him know it bothered you to be asked like that.

 

[Zayne]

It's your friend's self-entitled attitude which really makes me dislike people from the UK.

 

[SuckmeNOW]

He's not the insensitive one. I think he's far tooo sensitive if he thinks he needs a mere friend's permission to date somebody. Turn it around; if you found somebody would you be asking HIS permission? Of course you wouldn't.

What you have discovered is that your friend is in some ways less mature than you are. He's fallen off a pedestal in your mind where you had kept him and now is seeming less worthy of the crush you once had upon him.

Cut your friend some slack and just be there for him as he 'grows up' emotionally. Perhaps he's had a habit of sharing absolutely everything with a sibling or other friend away from uni, and you think it's TMI. And if it ever comes up, let him know it bothered you to be asked like that.

Thank you, that makes sense. We've sorted it now anyway. Dont know what the future will bring but I will just have to get over it if i dont like it.

 

[EllieP]

I'm with the consensus on this one. I think he was trying to be as sensitive as he could in the situation. He knew you fancied him, but he knew that he would never go that way. So rather than just cutting you out of his life experiences he shared them with you.

I know it's very raw to you because you had designs that were probably never going to be realized despite your strongest hopes. To see them dashed is crushing, and I'm sorry you were dealt that blow.

See him as a friend and not a potential conquest.

 

[Incocknito]

It's your friend's self-entitled attitude which really makes me dislike people from the UK.

Do you even know what you're saying?

How is he "self-entitled"? Is a straight man not entitled to have sex with the opposite sex and spend time with females?

Guess not, if that straight man has a jealous gay 'friend'.

 

[SuckmeNOW]

It's your friend's self-entitled attitude which really makes me dislike people from the UK.

Oh we all love a bit of racism (i'm being sarcastic). Care to explain?

 

[piratebulldog]

Interesting thread. I read the entire thread and I think the OP has shown a great deal of maturity by putting the original problem out there and then having to take the heat from different people. That can be tough. Yes, the consensus is that you were a bit insensitive yourself but I think we didn't get the whole picture in the first posting. There is probably much more to this story than what we were privy to at first. It is tough being bi-sexual because you can easily blur the line between best friends and potential lovers and it is with both male and female friends. So, learn from it and, perhaps, in other relationships as you grow you will be more aware of the line between the two.

 

[sixlittleboi]

You're very close friends. He told you about loosing his virginity because you're close friends. My best friend is straight. He is the ideal guy for me, in my mind, except he's straight! I have told him many times shit like, "why do you have to be straight?!" We laugh it's a joke. I know this it doesn't make me less jealous when he talks about a girl but it also makes me want the HOTTEST girl I can find for him. I also told him he can't have any more gay friends, only me. All the girlfriends he wants just no more gay guys. But that's off topic. :smile: His happiness means the world to me and I will do anything I can to make it happen. I chase off ugly girls at the club and introduce him to the hottest one I can find. There is very little he can do to push me to the point you're at now. There is certain behavior that I excuse because we are not dating, we will never be dating, and I know that one day he will be getting married to the girl of his dreams and I will be there to stand next to him when it happens.

Maybe he asked your permission of what he knows. He knows you have feelings he can't reciprocate, and your friendship is important to him. He may not want to do anything that could jeopardize that. I don't presume to know the details of your relationship I'm kind of going off of what i read and what I have experienced. Good luck with what ever happens.