ladies, what makes a good pm approach?

[WideAndDeep]

Generally speaking women don't like to be talked
to or approached by men that they don't know;
I would assume that the same applies to the
virtual world.

I don't think that's true. Generally speaking, women don't mind being approached by a friendly, smart and/or funny guy who doesn't immediately whip his dick out and say "Hey!" or something equally banal. I assume this applies to the virtual world as well.

 

[dolfette]

I don't think that's true. Generally speaking, women don't mind being approached by a friendly, smart and/or funny guy who doesn't immediately whip his dick out and say "Hey!" or something equally banal. I assume this applies to the virtual world as well.

it's true for me.

and if we've never chatted in the threads, i'm not likely to appreciate a pm.

 

[WideAndDeep]

it's true for me.

and if we've never chatted in the threads, i'm not likely to appreciate a pm.

I'll keep that in mind. :tongue:

However, I would posit that if strangers never approached one another the world would be a much more boring place than it in fact is, and social networks would be far more limited than they in fact are.

I would agree though with an unstated premise of this thread, which is that context is everything (or at least a lot.)

 

[dolfette]

I'll keep that in mind. :tongue:

However, I would posit that if strangers never approached one another the world would be a much more boring place than it in fact is, and social networks would be far more limited than they in fact are.

I would agree though with an unstated premise of this thread, which is that context is everything (or at least a lot.)

true. but i still hate it.
i like meeting someone through friends or situation and hitting it off.
i hate some random guy coming up to me...they're only talking to me because of my looks, the contact is uninvited and we're unlikely to have much in common.

though i'm aware i'm weird in this.

 

[WideAndDeep]

...they're only talking to me because of my looks

Do you always assume they're only talking to you because of your looks? Do you look that good? And conversely, is there no other reason why someone might want to strike up a conversation with you?

Just askin'? :redface:

 

[topper]

What a thread! So many dynamics!

 

[dolfette]

Do you always assume they're only talking to you because of your looks? Do you look that good? And conversely, is there no other reason why someone might want to strike up a conversation with you?

Just askin'? :redface:

in a public place, with dozens of other women, when i'm not giving any signals, when they know nothing about me, what other reason do they have for talking to me instead of the next girl?

and, yeah, i am very attractive.

 

[WideAndDeep]

OK, it's clear that non-contextual, uninvited PMs are unwelcome by you. But humor me a little? For shits and giggles and maybe the public weal?

in a public place, with dozens of other women, when i'm not giving any signals, when they know nothing about me, what other reason do they have for talking to me instead of the next girl?

and, yeah, i am very attractive.

Yes, granted, in the scenario that you present, in 90 something percent of cases he (or she) will be hitting on you. But that's a little bit of an exaggerated scenario, no?

What about if you're standing at a bus stop, or sitting in a waiting room, or having a smoke or grabbing a breath of fresh air outside the club? Any guy who strikes up a conversation with you is assumed to be hitting on you, regardless of what he says or how he says it?

Even if you are so almighty attractive that it is impossible to ignore, is it not conceivable that he's just hoping to have a reasonably intelligent, stimulating, pleasant conversation with another human being?

Do you assume that every man who interacts with you is ultimately just trying to get in your pants?

 

[B_Bonky]

Damn, must be a ton of losers on the 'net.

Only a guy who is completely and utterly desperate would IM some random "woman" on a big-dick board who lives 6 states away and is probably in actuality a 50 year old dude with a grizzled grey beard and man-boobs.

I remember when I was about 15 years old the first online games room run by Sierra On-line (called the Sierra Constant Companion, later ImagiNation Network) came online. Before the internet -- you could play chess and backgammon, etc. I pretended I was a 22 year old woman named "Eve," made the most attractive female avatar I could, and dudes hit on me from all over. It was hilarious.

 

[dolfette]

i'm an antisocial git.
i don't make myself open to approach.
my body language screams 'leave me the hell alone!'

i'm polite enough to smile, not and give a one word reply to social pleasantries but that's about it. i'm not interested in small talk.

 

[B_Bonky]

Do you assume that every man who interacts with you is ultimately just trying to get in your pants?

Yes, women assume that, until it becomes clear that he's not.

Any time you start an interaction with someone, you want something from them. It might just be the time, but women firstly assume it's sex. And probably 95% of the time they're right.

 

[WideAndDeep]

i'm not interested in small talk.

Fair enough. Neither am I. Later!:smile:

 

[B_Bonky]

aw.. cyber-rejection is so cute.

 

[dirk2d]

true. but i still hate it.
i like meeting someone through friends or situation and hitting it off.
i hate some random guy coming up to me...they're only talking to me because of my looks, the contact is uninvited and we're unlikely to have much in common.

though i'm aware i'm weird in this.

I actually have a lot of female friends that think this way, they're usually very attractive and get hit on a lot so that's why they think like this they tell me. Its a little anti social but not that weird. :smile:

But just curious, what if the situation is flipped? You see someone that you find incredibly attractive and you want to get to know them to see if there is more to them than looks, do you approach them, do you wish they'd approach you or do you let them slip away not knowing what could have been?

Most of the women I've talked to would let a guy slip out of shyness/fear of rejection/not wanting to come across as desperate, even the really hot women say this. Its funny how guys will go for what they want but women are more likely to sit back, not do anything and just go with what happens.

 

[greatdickismydrug]

Most of the women I've talked to would let a guy slip out of shyness/fear of rejection/not wanting to come across as desperate, even the really hot women say this. Its funny how guys will go for what they want but women are more likely to sit back, not do anything and just go with what happens.

Key word is "most." No slipping out of my claws.

 

[dirk2d]

Key word is "most." No slipping out of my claws.

Lol, I think any man would be more than comfortable in your claws, babe. :wink:

 

[B_Bonky]

Honestly I'm glad it's rather unheard of for women to "cold-approach" men out in the streets. Not that I'd be hit on all that much because I'm pretty average looking, but I can imagine how irritating it would be if women hit on men as much as men hit on women.

When I'm out doing shit, usually I just want to be left alone, get my business done, and go home. I wouldn't really want a bunch of broads coming up and starting conversations with me or trying to get my phone number. In fact, it would probably get to the point where I'd be pretty rude telling women to get lost, just out of frustration.

 

[greatdickismydrug]

Honestly I'm glad it's rather unheard of for women to "cold-approach" men out in the streets. Not that I'd be hit on all that much because I'm pretty average looking, but I can imagine how irritating it would be if women hit on men as much as men hit on women.

When I'm out doing shit, usually I just want to be left alone, get my business done, and go home. I wouldn't really want a bunch of broads coming up and starting conversations with me or trying to get my phone number. In fact, it would probably get to the point where I'd be pretty rude telling women to get lost, just out of frustration.

LMAO!!! YEAH RIGHT!

You post some crazy-ass funny shit but this has got to be the funniest.

 

[B_Bonky]

you got me! ahaha I just love fatties striking up conversations with me when I'm in the checkout line.

Not everyone's an attention whore like you my dear

 

[greatdickismydrug]

you got me! ahaha I just love fatties striking up conversations with me when I'm in the checkout line.

Not everyone's an attention whore like you my dear

You not an attention whore? You are killing me. Keep it coming.