I agree. I have cut off contact with many people like you described above. I felt embarrassed to be in their company.
I too have ended friendships with people who mistreat me or attempt to abuse our friendship. I'm a given person, but I'm not an enabler - and now refuse to help others who aren't will to put forth the effort to help themselves and improve their own existence.
I can empathize with you there. My job requires me to deal with a lot of difficult people (including my co-workers). I used to feel the same as you, but found that I was only hurting myself by cutting myself off from everyone. I learned quickly to leave work at work, and to not socialize with my co-workers at all. I don't even want to be in the same office with them (thankfully at my job I can spend as little time in there as I want), so why would I want to socialize with them outside of work? By "compartmentalizing" people (for lack of a better term), I found that I became interested again in creating social bonds with people. My co-workers are just people I work with (not my friends), and the people I teach are nothing more than a paycheque to me. The people I choose to spend time with are friends. I refuse to waste a second of my personal time on anyone that I don't like.
As I stated in my original post, there are perhaps 5 people at most that I would consider socializing outside of work - the rest I do my best to keep at arms length and answer their questions about me, my weekends, or x-mas holidays as generic as possible. I work in a "yenta" central environment and I listen to the gossip that goes on around me and do my best to keep my head under radar, so as to avoid becoming a topic of discussion. As far as meeting people, I relocated to my current city 6 months ago, and attended a few of the "meet-up" meetings and found it difficult to establish friendships or acquaintence-ships, as it was rather clique-ish; I don't do cliques, never had, never will, no interest. So, I have made attempts to make friends. I do know most of my neighbors in immediate location of my apartment, and socialize with a few. However, I'm also respectful of another's personal space and don't wish to intrude on their personal space, as well I utilize my time to decompress and recharge.:redface:
Yes! The "me first" mentality (as I like to call it) drives me insane! I love giving these kids a very badly needed reality check at work. They may be mommy & daddy's little princess/prince, but they sure as hell aren't mine! :tongue:
Unfortnately, I can't give the developmentally "gifted" individuals with whom I encounter on a daily bases a reality check, as I'm in customer service its expected that I sit there with a smile on my face and voice and patiently navigate the call to ensure explorary service. Personally there are those who shouldnt be allowed outside without someone following them with an electric cattle prod to "zap" them when they are about to do or say something rude, inconsiderate or inappropriate.:biggrin1::biggrin1:
I'm not gay, so I can't comment here. It's quite interesting to know though that gay people go through the same shit that straight people do. I'm very thankful for my marriage. At my age (45), I just don't have the energy to be out on the market again. The more people I meet, the more I love my 2 dogs!
I'm not in a relationship, and as I stated I'm approach what is viewed in the gay community undesirable age group, and haven't found many men out there who have their "shuns" - education, transportation, habitation, occupation, no addictions, probation or convictions. Masturbation is the only acceptable "shun". With that said, it definitely narrows the dating pool, for which I would consider dipping my toe in. I'd rather single and alone, that in a relationship, miserable and lonely. I'm a romantic at heart, but as I stated in my previous post, guys like me are hanging out at home, (and aren't out trolling on Craigslist, hanging out at the bars, or cruising parks). I want to know the head on the guy's shoulder first, than the one in his pants. The one on his shoulders tells me about his character, his dreams, his aspirations, the one in his pants just tells me how he made out in the gene pool. I think too many of us, myself included, has made the mistake by jumping in the sack with someone only to find that there aren't any similarities and once the sexual spark has waned, the "relationship" ends, as there was no solid foundation established to sustain and support it.
Great post!
Contributing another two-cents - Kiltiesf
