reaction during airport screening???

[NCbear]

. . . Airport security is not to be toyed with; they don't have a sense of humor.

You are so right.

When I was flying back from Providence, the TSA guys found my penknife on my keychain.

Big eyes. "You have a knife." Steps back. "HE HAS A KNIFE!" Corporate-type sheep turned and looked at me as though I'd just committed armed robbery in their presence.

Supervisor: "WHAT??! Bring it here!"

And the goofy jackass feeding my stuff through the X-ray machine took it off the key ring and carried it ceremoniously (that means "using both hands as though offering it to a god" ) on one of those little gray plastic plates all the way to his supervisor's perch. Slowly, so everyone could see that he was Doing His Job Protecting His Country From The Tall Bearded Man With The Tiny Knife.

"Where did you get this?" "You say it went through security at another airport?" "Sir, it's dangerous. It's a knife."

It was the smallest possible penknife I could buy, one with 2.25-inch-long blade. They took it from me because it was so damned dangerous.

I wanted to pull down my pants and show them my cock and say, "Look! This is more dangerous than that!" But I didn't--because you're right, hsarge: TSA agents don't have a sense of humor.

Which makes them, unintentionally of course, funnier than a bag of floppy-eared, just-born puppies. :tongue: Who are also completely incompetent at doing adult stuff, but that's OK because a puppy, at least, is cute.

NCbear (who "has a knife!" -- yes, I went right out and bought another dangerously tiny Swiss Army knife, and I drove to DC instead of flying to my most recent conference because of bullshit like this )

 

[Triasco]

^
Puppies come in a bag?

No but seriously, that story is hilarious!

 

[B_Yeah69]

My most interesting airport security experiences actually took place before enhanced screening, probably because in those days no one really cared about things that could cause you serious delays today, like setting off the metal detector, or having very odd things in your bag.

The best one was flying out of Los Angeles on the way to a gay leather fetish event. I was wearing tight Levis, scruffy biker jacket, and knee-high motorcycle boots. My boyfriend went first, and of course set off the metal detector (PA? Cockring? whatever...) A rather large female security agent was scanning him with the wand. She was about done, and I was waiting to catch her eye before I stepped through the metal detector portal myself. Just a she looks up, this flaming queen of a supervisor comes prancing over from several lanes away, practically tackles her out of the way, screaming "I'll do him! I'll do him!" So I step through the metal detector, and set it off. He asks me to step up on the little box, or platform, for the manual search. However, he doesn't use the wand. He immediately goes to the patdown, except it's more like groping me all over, in particular the boots and groin region. After a while, he begins asking obviously security related questions, such as "Sir, what size boots do you wear, Sir?" When I answered "Usually about a 15," (yes, I have big feet, too) a whole new series of grovelling and groping started. There were two similarly attired guys behind me (part of my party) who got a similar, but somewhat less thourough, treatment. When he was done, and let us move on, he just walked away, ignoring the next person behind us, who went right through the checkpoint without even being screened.

Once I was flying through Chicago O'hare, and the screener had a lot of trouble with things in my carry-on. His procedure was to locate and remove one offending object at a time, and then xray the bag again. After a number of innocent objects had been removed, he came and said there was just one more problem. He asked "Do you have some bracelets in your bag?" I had purchased a pair of metal cock rings in Chicago. And seeing as my cock is the same thickness as my wrist, I decided it would make things much simpler to just agree that they were bracelets, and be on my way.

And then there was that time at customs in Toronto, where the contents of my friend's suitcase so disturbed the inspector, that she decided she would just let all the rest of us go without looking...

What if you flew to some communist country and they didn't take lightly to your bag of goddies?
Maybe you would be taken somewhere far, far away and international treaty laws and the Secretary of State would have to plea for your freedom and they would have to save you from a certain fate.

 

[B_Yeah69]

One Hundred Naked Citizens: One Hundred Leaked Body Scans According to this, it doesn't look like they can see much underneath the clothes.

I can't see any signs of cock or tits with this cam

 

[hud01]

What if you flew to some communist country and they didn't take lightly to your bag of goddies?
Maybe you would be taken somewhere far, far away and international treaty laws and the Secretary of State would have to plea for your freedom and they would have to save you from a certain fate.

Go away. The whole point is that this isn't a communist country, this is supposed to be a free country which protects the rights of its citizens, not this crap.

 

[Triasco]

I can't see any signs of cock or tits with this cam

The point that was being made in that post was the fact that it was explicitly said that those photos would never be saved or distributed or made public. And yet, they were. If you want to see pictures with bits, that requires the x-ray backscatter and the 3D imaging. Check some of the other links.

 

[ericbear]

What if you flew to some communist country and they didn't take lightly to your bag of goddies?
Maybe you would be taken somewhere far, far away and international treaty laws and the Secretary of State would have to plea for your freedom and they would have to save you from a certain fate.

First of all, we knew where we were flying, and honestly didn't believe a flight from LA to Toronto was at risk of being diverted to behind the iron curtain. (Although that was a risk years ago if there was bad weather when I flew to Vienna...)

Second, the check-luggage "bag of goodies" (my friends, not mine) consisted of floggers, gas masks, rope, a dildo, and some articles of leather clothing. None of these are contraband items, although finding a collection of them in one suitcase probably did give the customs inspector the impression that our bedroom activities were more liberal than hers, and probably gave her disincentive to examine what might be in the ohter bags.

Note that the bag of goodies did not contain any porn. Entering Canada with porn in your posession (or at least certain tiles) can get you into trouble. Here's the official list of titles banned by the Canadian border patrol from 2009: http://www.xtra.ca/BinaryContent/pdf/CBSA-Prohibited-Items-Q309.pdf. Note that the list includes releases form major mainstream porn studios, such as Raging Stallion and Titan Media.

 

[BigInBellevue]

Why are guys so sensitive about having an outline of their penis show? Almost every guy has one. Are we still suffering from the Puritan aspects of our Colonial heritage. If a guy can hide a bomb in his underpants, don't you want security to make sure there isn't one of those on your flight?

 

[Triasco]

Why are guys so sensitive about having an outline of their penis show? Almost every guy has one. Are we still suffering from the Puritan aspects of our Colonial heritage. If a guy can hide a bomb in his underpants, don't you want security to make sure there isn't one of those on your flight?

I don't think it so much has to deal with Puritan views as it has to deal with the penis being seen in a flaccid state that may not be representative of it's erect state and being judged by some unseen person who is relating percieved underendowment in an individual to a coworker (or coworkers) who then laugh uproariously. It's more mental than anything. I'm sure thoughts of security and safety can override the fear in many a man, but there are some who are still worried somewhat (myself probably included in the latter).

 

[bigsmile]

You are so right.

When I was flying back from Providence, the TSA guys found my penknife on my keychain.

Big eyes. "You have a knife." Steps back. "HE HAS A KNIFE!" Corporate-type sheep turned and looked at me as though I'd just committed armed robbery in their presence.

Supervisor: "WHAT??! Bring it here!"

And the goofy jackass feeding my stuff through the X-ray machine took it off the key ring and carried it ceremoniously (that means "using both hands as though offering it to a god" ) on one of those little gray plastic plates all the way to his supervisor's perch. Slowly, so everyone could see that he was Doing His Job Protecting His Country From The Tall Bearded Man With The Tiny Knife.

"Where did you get this?" "You say it went through security at another airport?" "Sir, it's dangerous. It's a knife."

It was the smallest possible penknife I could buy, one with 2.25-inch-long blade. They took it from me because it was so damned dangerous.

I wanted to pull down my pants and show them my cock and say, "Look! This is more dangerous than that!" But I didn't--because you're right, hsarge: TSA agents don't have a sense of humor.

Which makes them, unintentionally of course, funnier than a bag of floppy-eared, just-born puppies. :tongue: Who are also completely incompetent at doing adult stuff, but that's OK because a puppy, at least, is cute.

NCbear (who "has a knife!" -- yes, I went right out and bought another dangerously tiny Swiss Army knife, and I drove to DC instead of flying to my most recent conference because of bullshit like this )

I understand that TSA also will routinely rifle through your bag and pretend NOT to recognize or know what a dildo or vibrator is. A similar production will be made about a toy and you will be asked to remove such an item from your bag and "present it" to an agent out in the open.

What is telling about these scanners is that for example the Israeli's do not use them and Tel Aviv airport of course has THE toughest airport security
in the world. Won't those who support such invasions of privacy in the name of security feel stupid when they learn that haliburton owns the back scatter machines and that they increase the risk of cancer by 175%.

 

[lowellstud]

I've had 2 "genital pat-downs" when going through airport security. Not really a big deal. You unbutton your pants, pull them down a bit, with underwear still on, and then a guard with gloves on "pats" the genital area.
Whatever the reason is that I was pulled out of the line for the "genital pat-down", I don't know. A little embarrassed at first, but quickly go over it. More embarrassing was "beeping" when I went through security, had to empty my pockets, and had a Magnum in it's foil packaging in my pocket, which was making the alarm go off.

 

[B_Yeah69]

First of all, we knew where we were flying, and honestly didn't believe a flight from LA to Toronto was at risk of being diverted to behind the iron curtain. (Although that was a risk years ago if there was bad weather when I flew to Vienna...)

Second, the check-luggage "bag of goodies" (my friends, not mine) consisted of floggers, gas masks, rope, a dildo, and some articles of leather clothing. None of these are contraband items, although finding a collection of them in one suitcase probably did give the customs inspector the impression that our bedroom activities were more liberal than hers, and probably gave her disincentive to examine what might be in the ohter bags.

Note that the bag of goodies did not contain any porn. Entering Canada with porn in your posession (or at least certain tiles) can get you into trouble. Here's the official list of titles banned by the Canadian border patrol from 2009: http://www.xtra.ca/BinaryContent/pdf/CBSA-Prohibited-Items-Q309.pdf. Note that the list includes releases form major mainstream porn studios, such as Raging Stallion and Titan Media.

I've brought an adult movie or two from my vacations and entered Canada, as it is my home. Nothing happened.
Thanks for the heads up:smile:

 

[B_Yeah69]

I've had 2 "genital pat-downs" when going through airport security. Not really a big deal. You unbutton your pants, pull them down a bit, with underwear still on, and then a guard with gloves on "pats" the genital area.
Whatever the reason is that I was pulled out of the line for the "genital pat-down", I don't know. A little embarrassed at first, but quickly go over it. More embarrassing was "beeping" when I went through security, had to empty my pockets, and had a Magnum in it's foil packaging in my pocket, which was making the alarm go off.

dude they wanted to feel your cock

 

[B_Yeah69]

Go away.

Ok buddy....right away. Waiting for you to snap your fingers

 

[damnimbi]

Didn't expect the thread to become political, but interesting to read.....

For me, it's the complete loss of privacy and discretion that air travelers deal with. Not only do you have to worry about someone going through your check in (with numerous reports of theft, one a few weeks back in Orange County), but now you even have to worry about how clean your underwear are (mere example). No doubt we'll be forced to strip naked and run a gauntlet of hefty TSA angents on the way to the plane.

I heard (rumour) that the feds purchased several hundred vans that have this technology. And while it may not be true, it's an example of how Americans in general are losing their rights to privacy and discretion.

 

[TFP]

I used to go to a techno club where drug use (especially pills) was very prevalent.

The doormen would routinely have, ahem, a really comprehensive rummage round the groin area of patrons as they were being granted admission to the club.

 

[B_Lightkeeper]

:frown1: I'd rather be padded down than dead.

 

[Stephenmass]

The Boston incident, although I'll have to take your word for it, I never heard of but I'll believe you that it happened. People get fired from all kinds of jobs and those girls got appropriately fired. I think anyone for the most part that reads the images and can see the endowments, etc., after awhile, a very short while, is going to not even notice endowments per se. They have to look in that area for what may be concealed I guess, but as a couple of posters said above, I'd rather fly alive than dead.

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

If you take a look at google and search airport screening under images, you can easily see that the new equipment gives them a clear view of you naked. I was going through security at FLL last week and the TSA agent informed me that he was going to check each leg thoroughly and go "up to the groin". I told him I understood and complied. After I grabbed my backpack, I looked over at the booth where the TSA agents view the monitors and had a female TSA make eye contact with me. I just grinned and walked away.

 

[mandoman]

I think the only appropriate response to a pat down is to climax.
If I couldn't, I'd hope for a stiffy, and wet the part of my underwear where the head pops up with something like aloe vera.

As far as 'better felt than dead', who has been saved by a pat down?
I haven't heard of anyone being disarmed because of it.