Seducing a guy

[LoveStar69]

There's a guy I know (I'm gay) who I think is completely sexy and want to bed him. He's straight, but I get some gaydar vibes from him. He's from out of town and we work together, and saw him a few weeks ago. At dinner I had my leg touching his at our group work dinner, and I noticed that he kept his in place and didn't move it. We've hung out socially before, and as we were checking out girls for him, he asked me "So, any guys you go for?" (I never told him I am gay). He asked me to come out to visit so we can hang out and stuff, so I need help in what I should do or say to see if he'd like to do stuff, with me. I don't want to come off as a fool or offend him, and he is a distant co-worker. Any advice or stories of similar experiences are greatly appreciated!

 

[Chuck64]

Since you two work together, here's a few ideas I picked up from this sexual harrasment video.

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1107/

1) Invite him to a meeting - just the two of you, put a huge dildo out on the conference room table and pretend not to notice while going over some graphs on the whiteboard.

2) Tell him you think he's got a huge cock and that you do also... and that you two should go rub them together... with oil... just rubbing... and oil... and... well, you get the idea.

3) Walk in to the room and tell him you smell fresh Vag... No wait. That one might not work for you.

If none of those work, there's plenty of porn on the subject. I'm sure you'll find an original idea there.

 

[davidjh7]

There's a guy I know (I'm gay) who I think is completely sexy and want to bed him. He's straight, but I get some gaydar vibes from him. He's from out of town and we work together, and saw him a few weeks ago. At dinner I had my leg touching his at our group work dinner, and I noticed that he kept his in place and didn't move it. We've hung out socially before, and as we were checking out girls for him, he asked me "So, any guys you go for?" (I never told him I am gay). He asked me to come out to visit so we can hang out and stuff, so I need help in what I should do or say to see if he'd like to do stuff, with me. I don't want to come off as a fool or offend him, and he is a distant co-worker. Any advice or stories of similar experiences are greatly appreciated!

His comment and his leg press are hopeful signs, but only signs. If you have a chance to spend some private time with him, and can repeat the leg touches and such, the answer will likely become clear. Regardless, don;t push anything, and stay within his comfort level. Some guys may want it, but then freak out when they actually find they are GETTING it. If he is actually a decent friend/coworker, then back off. Don;t shit where you eat. COnsider ALL the consequences carefully, before you proceed much further.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Dude, go find a nice gay guy and bone away. He's straight. Leave him alone. Swishy little queens like yourself give us all a bad name.

 

[headbang8]

Some guys may want it, but then freak out when they actually find they are GETTING it. If he is actually a decent friend/coworker, then back off. Don;t shit where you eat. Consider ALL the consequences carefully, before you proceed much further.

Agreed. Even if you DO find he wants sex, it will make the workplace uncomfortable, to say the least.

 

[LoveStar69]

David et al, thanks for the advice. Sorcerer, get over it.

 

[chrisj428]

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Don't do it.

#1, don't buy your meat where you get your bread.
#2, it's nothing but heartache.

 

[Pappy]

Dude, Sorcerer has nothing to get over. You on the other hand need to get over yourself. It's guys like you that insist on persuing straight guys that give the rest of us a bad reputation. Society already has us in that view, that we want to convert their sons and husbands. Chasing after a guy that you know is straight is wrong, I don't care if he didn't move his leg.
Going after a co-worker in a sexual manner is also inviting a sexual harrassment suit. Are you prepared for that?? Is your employer?? Best advice for you, look elsewhere and leave the co-worker alone. If he's interested, he'll let you know.

 

[Chuck64]

Dude, go find a nice gay guy and bone away. He's straight. Leave him alone. Swishy little queens like yourself give us all a bad name.

Yes, you're giving all of us jaded old queens a bad name.

I agree though. There are plenty of homos out there who will gladly sex you up for a lot less effort. We come in all shapes, sizes and colors of the rainbow. Take your pick. Heck, jump on gay.com and pick out a fantasy guy or three. It's just as easy as ordering a pizza. With any luck, you can be 1/2 of an old can't-get-married couple like Sorcerer.

 

[Matthew]

He asked me to come out to visit so we can hang out and stuff, so I need help in what I should do or say to see if he'd like to do stuff, with me. I don't want to come off as a fool or offend him, and he is a distant co-worker.

As much as we sometimes wish it were otherwise, most straight guys who are open with us are not looking for sex -- they are just cool people looking for friendship. You can ruin that by crossing the line (in addition to the other problems mentioned). If he's asked you to hang out, go ahead and do it as long as you are interested in friendship with him. Don't expect anything more.

If it turns out that he's bi or wants to "experiment" with you, let him make the first move.

 

[davidjh7]

As much as we sometimes wish it were otherwise, most straight guys who are open with us are not looking for sex -- they are just cool people looking for friendship. You can ruin that by crossing the line (in addition to the other problems mentioned). If he's asked you to hang out, go ahead and do it as long as you are interested in friendship with him. Don't expect anything more.

If it turns out that he's bi or wants to "experiment" with you, let him make the first move.

I think my personal position wasn;t quite clear. I am not encouraging pursuit of a straight man. When I fell for a straight friend at 18, it took me over 10 years to et over him. THe pain for both sides is too great, but you fall for who you fall for. I was trying to point out some of the risks involved, and possibly allow him some ideas to determine where the guy is at. If you can;t confirm it, then you will always wonder, and that can drive you crazy. BUt even trying to confirm it or not comes with HUGE risks, bith personally and professionally. It could not only become awkward, but could result, as others have said, in a sexual harassment lawsuit, or termination, or at the very least, possible ostrisization by coworkers. It may cause him to become violent with you. Some straight guys, upon learning of the lusts of some gay guy, have been so paranoid that they have actually killed the gay guy. Only you can evaluate the risks and benefits of your situation. I am not going to praise or judge you. You asked for an opinion, and that is what I gave--only MY personal opinion. Since I don;t know all the details of your personal situation, I can only give vague advice or direction. That advice or direction, being flawed by ignorance of all factors, may be exactly the WRONG thing to do. Take the advice you find sound, weigh it carefully against all factors, and then make your best decision, and live with the consequences the best you can. OK--end of speech :smile:

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

David et al, thanks for the advice. Sorcerer, get over it.

I stand by my response. Quit trying to fuck straight guys.

 

[CUBE]

As much as we sometimes wish it were otherwise, most straight guys who are open with us are not looking for sex -- they are just cool people looking for friendship. You can ruin that by crossing the line (in addition to the other problems mentioned). If he's asked you to hang out, go ahead and do it as long as you are interested in friendship with him. Don't expect anything more.

If it turns out that he's bi or wants to "experiment" with you, let him make the first move.

Much agreed

 

[AlteredEgo]

Why are people always looking for "signs"? I have a friend who drives me apeshit constantly looking for signs that her man is in love with her, for example. Skip dubious signs, and ask frank questions.

Last night, a friend of mine put his arm around me. I moved closer and put my head on his chest. It was nice. Sudddenly the overcrowded couch was actually comfortable. Does he have a crush on me? Nope. Would I like to randomly cuddle with him in other situations? Nope. Might upset the woman he's head-over-heels for.

Here's a sign you can count on:

NO FISHING!

lol Seriously, don't fish off the company's pier. Even if he wants you so badly it hurts, even if you work in different divisions, leave it alone. Even my dumb cat won't piss where she eats. (Although I have seen her eat herself where she pisses.) Why open yourself up to all the negative possibilities. Be a team player. Don't contribute to a hostile environment. (It could happen.)

The other thing is, (since you like signs) if you were trying to find gorls for himm and he didn't correct you (No, actually I'm interested in a guy tonight. ) what makes you think he wants to be with a man? Did he ever suggest that he was into guys at all? Did he make it plain? If he didn't, then why would you want to pursue him?

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

If it turns out that he's bi or wants to "experiment" with you, let him make the first move.

We have a winner! There are plenty of straight guys out there who want to have their one-shot sexual experience with another man in the name of curiosity, but there are just as many, if not more, who don't. But it's his choice, not yours, so don't try leading him where he doesn't want to go. If he's open to the idea, he'll make it clear. I've been the "big experiment" to several curious guys, and the first move has always been theirs ... it has to be. I don't give him the excuse to pull that "he took advantage of me" shit. If he wants some of this, he has to have the balls to tell me so. Otherwise, there's always a willing gay partner that doesn't need to be seduced, and I'm just as happy taking the easier path.

 

[Irvy]

Quite often, in my experience, straight guys have gaydar too. A lot of straight guys are perfectly comfortable with gay guys, and will even welcome, or not discourage, a similar level of intimacy that they would share with a str8 woman they're not sexually interested in, that often will not arise between two str8 men. All too often though, this comfort in their own heterosexuality can be percieved as them being seen as "curious" or "open". By pursuing them, often all they see is a gay guy mistaking their comfort for an invitation, and they loose their comfort, and often, their friend.

How many gay guys would be pleased to find that a str8 girl they are friends with was trying to manufacture a sexual encounter between them, either through circumstance, or even worse, by getting them drunk? Personally, I'd be offended if any of my friends used this approach to "trick" me into bed, and they'd stop being my friend.

If you truely like a str8 guy, and want to be close to him, then respect his sexuality the same way you demand your sexuality to be respected. Give him the common courtesy that we demand, and don't ask him to be something that he's not.

 

[Altairion]

As a lot of you know by now, I'm one of the more open straight guys. I've been in the situation with one of my friends (who is gay) where we've been sitting at a table and our legs end up touching. To me it's not a big deal, so I wouldn't consider that a huge sign. Of course if he started to bounce his leg against yours....well thats a different story.

Overall, you might be able to lead him a bit into certain conversations and get some more information that way, but I wouldn't suggest asking him to have sex with you or anything. Maybe just discuss some things and see if he's interested. I'm with these guys, let the move be his as he's the one that knows how far he'll go.

 

[Lex]

We , as people, have to accept and be okay with the fact that not everyone that we are close to or who is not turned off my our sexual orientation is going to be a fuck buddy. Sometimes, there can even be tension between two people that is best left unsliced. Being close is tough (I know) because as soon as you feel close, you sometimes want to puish further. Resist the temptation to do so. If he wants it, eh'll let you know in no uncertain terms, when he is ready. Otherwise, let it be.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Totally agree with most peeps here....Some straight guys are curious but agree with DMW - he has to make the first move and not you....I had a gay roommate who was like my bestfriend....I think he always questioned me but never made a move on me which is why we respected each others sexuality....I am glad all my straight guy friends are very open minded and cool....We hang out with each other, sleep over, and cook dinner and go to the movies together w/o girls....And most of them have girlfriends/wives....

 

[Sabln7]

I have lost one good friend by having sex with him. He was straight and interested. We had sex----and for about a year, we had sex constantly. Then, he began feeling guilty about it (He was married--as was I), and our relationship cooled. I told him we could still be friends and not have sex, but he wanted to not even be friends any more because of the discomfort our relationship caused me. Losing a friend was not worth the sex. Also, it was not the greatest sex I ever had. It was a real mistake.