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As a gay man,can you accept to have sex with a transgender woman and even get topped?

GetNakedIGotAPlan

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This is really nuanced. Some guys who have sex with men still identify as straight because they're romantically attracted only to people of the opposite sex. It's all who owns the experience who gets to name it really. But are you saying those people *ought* to be ridiculed for this?


I watched this one, and all I could think about was her experience, and how she feels? It presents a really interesting double standard, because this person is a full fledged adult, so what happens when she wants to have a sex life all of her own? I don't think anyone would say that makes her a creep too, so where is the zone that she gets to operate in?
You can identify as straight and not be straight. There’s plenty of men who identify as straight who, let’s say, are cheating on their wives and have a secret boyfriend. I have zero intention of dating any of the men I’ve had sex with, I don’t think that made it any less gay. I don’t even know if I truly want to date a man yet.
 

LPSG Simon

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You can identify as straight and not be straight. There’s plenty of men who identify as straight who, let’s say, are cheating on their wives and have a secret boyfriend. I have zero intention of dating any of the men I’ve had sex with, I don’t think that made it any less gay. I don’t even know if I truly want to date a man yet.
I think my point is that when it comes to these things that it's up to the person to call themselves what they want, and not the gatekeepers of the 'tibes' (blech). For example: People who call themselves queer because they politically identify with this, and not with the term "gay".
 

ChrisD24

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Ultimately, I think as a society we're moving away from labels. This idea that everything has to be sorted, classified and labelled is hindering humanity's progress. Eventually I think we're all going to move away from labels. People will still like what they like (you can't control whom you're attracted to), but they'll be no need to "trap" ourselves by labels like gay, bi or straight.
 

jtforeverlove

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I'm a gay man who's attracted to other gay men, simple as that.
yes me too i am Gay will never want to date a person with parts that are opposite of me. so Labels can go away for some but my label is Gay and will never change. not that i hate people i just love the Dick
 

say995

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Ultimately, I think as a society we're moving away from labels. This idea that everything has to be sorted, classified and labelled is hindering humanity's progress. Eventually I think we're all going to move away from labels. People will still like what they like (you can't control whom you're attracted to), but they'll be no need to "trap" ourselves by labels like gay, bi or straight.
Sorry,I have to stand up against this particularly.

I don't consider myself either a fully open-minded or a very old-fashioned person. If you want to break down and dismantle the old system of classification and rules, that's okay, I won't object, but the point is what about afterwards.You can't just destroy everything and leave it there.You have to rebuild a new system, otherwise chaos and troubles will spread from social humanities, morals, culture, religion and even to the legal realm.

The same is applied for sexual orientation and labels. Society will not progress because of the disappearance of labels. What society needs is the advancement of the label system. For example, in the situation you mentioned, the current label is more advanced and precise than the previous, and there is a good term is used to label this kind of group that you describe,namely pansexual.

All in all, I think labels are indispensable and essential for respecting yourself, expecting others to respect you, and reminding yourself to respect others.
 

datwhatilike

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Personally, as a gay man, I am attracted to masculinity.
Femininity is a no-go.
I have been attracted to trans-men before, but I think that's as far as it goes.
As a bottom, a dick is part of the deal.
As a gold star gay, a vagina is going to be a turn off for me.

I suppose that given the right situation a trans-man who underwent bottom surgery COULD be someone I might be intimate with...
 

c1omr

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No, I'm a gay man. I only like men who look like men. It's not rocket science. This shit keeps getting asked and peddled here by porn addicts who don't even know they have a problem.
Your post adds nothing to the conversation, next time just keep it to yourself.
 

LPSG Simon

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Sorry,I have to stand up against this particularly.

I don't consider myself either a fully open-minded or a very old-fashioned person. If you want to break down and dismantle the old system of classification and rules, that's okay, I won't object, but the point is what about afterwards.You can't just destroy everything and leave it there.You have to rebuild a new system, otherwise chaos and troubles will spread from social humanities, morals, culture, religion and even to the legal realm.

The same is applied for sexual orientation and labels. Society will not progress because of the disappearance of labels. What society needs is the advancement of the label system. For example, in the situation you mentioned, the current label is more advanced and precise than the previous, and there is a good term is used to label this kind of group that you describe,namely pansexual.

All in all, I think labels are indispensable and essential for respecting yourself, expecting others to respect you, and reminding yourself to respect others.
I think the 'anarchy argument' here is a little fallacious. There is Zero evidence that dismantling gender is going to lead to an increase in social ills. Especially for the sake of an organized framework unto itself.

Answering one slippery slope rhetorical question with another: What happens when we arrive at a new system, and then someone's experience continues to challenge that system? The system is always in flux really and never has an arrival. Philosophically, it's a system and not a system at the same time, soooo change IS the system really. Which brings us back to this being a subjective issue.

Pansexuality is great, but it's not up to us to try and organize this for everyone if that's not how they see themselves being attracted to others. I dont see the point really. I keep thinking back to the 'sometimes' or 'once' assertion, like does having sex with someone of the same sex (and liking it) make someone bisexual forever? Does having a romantic / emotional attraction to someone outside of their assumed identity once in a while make them need to change that so the rest of us don't have to confront whatever security we get out of seeing these things as rigid? I don't think so.

Again, there's no evidence that subjectivity of this sort leads to harm, but there is a fair bit that expecting label conformity for something as personal as this actually does. There are many who are far more affected by this sort of thing than the majority of us who see the whole need to measure and categorize as specimenizing and dehumanizing. The more I think about it, the more I think that this is correct TBH.

If you're into each other, you're into each other. Full stop. Not much more to see here.
 
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jaymes_eboy

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I am "bi" and have never been attracted to transitioned or partially transitioned M2F trans women. I am, however, very sexually attracted to masculine men in lingerie.

I also just realized recently I am attracted to trans men F2M. I am still processing that attraction. It's kind of confusing because I suppose that makes me more pan but since I am not attracted to M2f I feel like owning that might make trans women feel I'm being exclusive of them.

I am not trying to be disrespectful especially since trans people have it hard enough in this world but I am just not sexual attracted to trans women. Masculine trans men I find incredible sexy and I don't even know how to gage these conversations with my monogamous partner.
 

JopneJappa

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I am "bi" and have never been attracted to transitioned or partially transitioned M2F trans women. I am, however, very sexually attracted to masculine men in lingerie.

I also just realized recently I am attracted to trans men F2M. I am still processing that attraction. It's kind of confusing because I suppose that makes me more pan but since I am not attracted to M2f I feel like owning that might make trans women feel I'm being exclusive of them.

I am not trying to be disrespectful especially since trans people have it hard enough in this world but I am just not sexual attracted to trans women. Masculine trans men I find incredible sexy and I don't even know how to gage these conversations with my monogamous partner.
You are not being disrespectful at all. Discrimination or Transphobia will be when non Trans people discriminate at workplace,or refuse to socialize with Trans people or act violent against them etc. Sexual attraction is something very individual in nature. I have said it before that one can't force their brains to feel sexually attracted towards someone, it comes naturally.

Trans activists who are quick to label any gay/lesbian/bi (who refuse to date trans men/women) as transphobes should stop this nuisance.