Do you consider yourself "marriage material"?

[earllogjam]

There is a difference between who you date and who you end up marrying and spending your life together.

Everyone has their own standards and I'm wondering what you guys consider when you're thinking of marrying someone outside of love of course.

What makes for someone to be "marriage material" to you?

 

[D_N Flay Table]

Not at this point no. Been married. It sucked.

 

[Calboner]

Your title and your post ask very different questions.

Do I consider myself marriage material? Not much. I'm 49 years old and have never been married, so any woman who knows that much about me is going to see a big red flag waving over me. If I were divorced, with an ex-wife with whom I squabbled and a couple of kids who gave me terrible grief, I'm sure I would be a much more promising marital prospect.

What makes someone marriage material for me? Hard to say, since I've never met anyone who seemed like it to me. I imagine that the main things are (1) that we trust and respect each other and have a high regard for each other, (2) that we have common tastes and interests and get along well together, and (3) that we turn each other on sexually -- and probably in about that order of priority, though I consider all three requirements to be non-negotiable. I've never had a relationship that fully met more than two of those conditions.

 

[PurpleThrillHammer]

Your title and your post ask very different questions.

Do I consider myself marriage material? Not much. I'm 49 years old and have never been married, so any woman who knows that much about me is going to see a big red flag waving over me. If I were divorced, with an ex-wife with whom I squabbled and a couple of kids who gave me terrible grief, I'm sure I would be a much more promising marital prospect.

What makes someone marriage material for me? Hard to say, since I've never met anyone who seemed like it to me. I imagine that the main things are (1) that we trust and respect each other and have a high regard for each other, (2) that we have common tastes and interests and get along well together, and (3) that we turn each other on sexually -- and probably in about that order of priority, though I consider all three requirements to be non-negotiable. I've never had a relationship that fully met more than two of those conditions.

WOW, sounds like my life. Only difference is im 36 years old, maybe there is still hope for me. HAHA
I agree completely with 1,2,and 3. cant say it any better.

 

[MickeyLee]

do i consider myself marriage material? umm like a green card type situation.. maybe. depending on which country a person was getting sent back to. and if they were facing a prison sentence, execution or something along those lines.

i've never considered hitching up as part of my plan. for true, anyone i loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with, i wouldn't want them settling for me. i'd tell 'em to hold out for better :tongue:

 

[petite]

do i consider myself marriage material? umm like a green card type situation.. maybe. depending on which country a person was getting sent back to. and if they were facing a prison sentence, execution or something along those lines.

i've never considered hitching up as part of my plan. for true, anyone i loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with, i wouldn't want them settling for me. i'd tell 'em to hold out for better :tongue:

You sound like me! I embraced the "serial monogamy" concept wholeheartedly. Knowing that I could leave as soon as the relationship seemed to reach it's expiration date was always so comforting to me. The idea of entering the dating game and meeting someone new and beginning a new relationship was always exciting to me. It didn't make me feel afraid, it made me feel thrilled. I liked it.

I'm freaked out that my life really won't ever be like that again. It's all different when you have a child. I can't bring new people in and out of a child's life like that. It would be emotionally cruel and damaging IMO, and that means I have to be different. I have to do things differently. And no matter what, TheBF will be a part of my life for the next few decades, regardless if we're together or not. It's scary to me, taking a chance like this. The scariest thing I think I've ever done in my entire life.

I'm such a coward.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Maybe, I'm not sure. I used to think so, but I'm 29 almost 30 (gasp) and I'm just kind of tired of relantionships I missed that whole field playing bit somewhere between LTR one and two. I want to do something that I want to do and enjoy it for once without someone ruining it for me. I just want to be me and not fit into someones perfect mold. At this point marriage makes me nauseated just thinking about it. The word "trapped" flashes like a neon sign in my mind.

If I could find someone that

A. Actually was a nice guy after the glorious beginning phase is over.

B. Someone who didn't ridicule the things I find interesting and try to keep me from them.

C. Someone with the same sex drive.

I might hop on the marriage wagon, but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting on a person like that.

 

[Pitbull]

I was told I was a great husband. :smile:

Now that I'm single, told would again be a great husband. :smile:

Unfortunately that does not seem to translate into getting laid. :frown1:

Life isn't fair.

 

[alx]

Well I have been told by a fair few people that I would be a great husband and father, so we'll see...

I know I look for different things in regards to a gf and wife.

 

[D_Maurice Mountlilly]

damn..it's sad to see ya'll down on love like this.
take it from me(i'm at square broke as hell,no car,all that rotten shit)
i lost it all from my last relationship(the fiance l ived with for years broke up with me by e-mail..ooouch!)but life is too short to shy away or turn away from love.learn from your past mistakes,change up your dating patterns,take small risks at first if things seem too wild/scary.over all just live life.all of you guys that posted have alot,i repeat ALOT more going on than i do.

 

[Calboner]

WOW, sounds like my life. Only difference is im 36 years old, maybe there is still hope for me. HAHA

I used to think of picking a woman to propose divorce to. "Marriage is too risky. Will you be my ex-wife?" Then I'd be set by now. :tongue:

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I would say yes I'm marriage material but I don't really believe in the whole crazy sordid reality that marriage has become today. Part of that is having to get involved with my future wife's family and what crazy shyt they have going on. Two of my buddies have relatives from hell which has caused them a lot of grief...meddling mother-in-laws, alcoholic, abusive and weird in-laws. Something also seems to happen when you marry the girl; all her worse (and previously hidden) traits appear. In addition I can't believe that humanity hasn't come up with a more creative way for people to live their lives. Marriage seems very limiting to me.

 

[deleted3782]

I'm not marriage material at all. I am difficult to get along with, headstrong, independent, aloof, apathetic, and I've lived so long by myself I doubt I could ever relearn how to share my life.

I can't imagine who I would consider marriage material. Maybe an extraordinarily smart and forgiving person...with an "off" switch.

 

[Daisy]

No..I'm not. I don't see myself getting married again. I might be too much of a free spirit.

 

[dolfette]

no i'm not marriage material,
and i never want to get married,
so nobody is marriage material to me.

 

[MrHangman]

Whenever I date a girl, she tells me she thinks I am the one. So maybe in their eyes I am marriage material. But in my own reality, I'm a pretty depressed individual. I spend all day and night denying that to anybody. My father's bipolar and unemployed and he used to beat my mother until she attempted suicide and they got divorced. So. I try very hard not to let this defeat me. But. Like most of my shitty life I have always thought an ultimate goal would be to settle down, and have a nice family, and be happy. But I've discovered that depression can be a genetic thing. And my life is fine now. I'm young. In school. Having fun. But I just can't shake the depression. And I don't want to dwell on describing it, because it's just something very hard to understand as someone who doesn't suffer from it. Nothing can be going wrong with my life or me, and just overwhelming feels of just like not wanting to live plague my head. Anyways. Moving back onto the marriage topic. I just don't feel like I can adequately love my wife until I learn to love myself. And I don't feel like it'd be fair to pass along this depression to my child if I happened to have one.

 

[irox19]

MrHangman--I like what you have to say.

As for myself...I broke off an engagement...I guess I wasn't marriage material in that relationship. Actually I was marriage material, my partner was not. I know all I have to offer (a lot I think)...but I also know what I am looking for now and so I won't allow myself to be marriage material until my needs are met. If that makes any sense at all.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I pull my weight. I work hard to be my best self all the time, because my husband always deserves the best I can give. I compromise. I tolerate. I support, and when appropriate, I guide him. I don't always put him first (sometimes, I have to be my own priority) but I never put him last. I have faced-up to an intense phobia just to avoid inconveniencing him. His co-workers are so impressed by what little of my attention and dedication they get to witness that they have complimented my husband on his choice of wife, and jokingly asked me to befriend their wives and rub off on them.

So... Yeah. I'm marriage material.

The main differences between who I dated and my husband are: I am far less sexually compatible with my husband than with any other man I've known sexually. Other than one who I once did wish (and agree) to marry, there was just always something missing, and mutually no interest in marriage with anyone else.

My list of needs and wants in a marriage partner is very long. I'm very picky, and had to have a husband just as choosy.

 

[SpeedoMike]

no i'm not marriage material,
and i never want to get married,
so nobody is marriage material to me.

as for me... agree!

 

[SpiceFromIndia]

I am .. i believe in family system, taking care of all kinds of things, building a good community and raising children and giving them good role models by setting myself an example. It is also amazing feeling to care for somebody and making her the part of everybody that ever matters to me. Its just every phase of life presents a different challenges and i like to move on, so far i had good time being thrilled by meeting new people (just like you can be child or young always, life presents different challenges and different phases, moving is circle is not my nature), now i have to concentrate on my career and build a family . may b in next 2 years. In my family nobody was ever divorced and led/leading a happy peaceful and stable marriage life and i had good role models so i will carry the legacy.