Jesus

Discussion in 'Celebrity Endowments' started by Mr. Pookie, Apr 26, 2006.

  1. Mr. Pookie

    Mr. Pookie New Member

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    How big do you think Jesus' cock was? He was an ordinary kind of dude right? But somehow 6 inches just doesn't seem to cut it. I mean, can you imagine a dude with a 10 inch dick peeing next to Jesus and laughing at him? Jesus had to have been the biggest ever. But wouldn't we have heard about that? I mean, surely that would have been the easiest of the miracles to validate. Walking on water? Not now. Raising the dead? Maybe later. The cock? Here it is! But since there is no record, despite Paul being a renown homosexual pervert, we have to assume Jesus was 6 inches or less.
     
  2. geitjeshoeder

    geitjeshoeder Active Member

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    Well i once had a hispanic girl in the sack, who said "oh jesus" all the time.. so i guess he would be around 8 long by 6 around like me. And this other girl who saw it, when i whipped it out said... Sweet jesus... :tongue:
     
  3. AlteredEgo

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    Dunno. I think he would have been small or average. He came down humble. He was homeless. He could have been ridiculed for that. He rolled with opinionated women and let them teach. He had to have been ridiculed for that. I don't think God cares if you laugh at Him. He's gonna get the last laugh in the end, right?
     
  4. xrush_uncut

    xrush_uncut New Member

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    You wait till the Christians wake up tomorrow. I don't think they're going to like this too much. :)
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    Who said we weren't already awake? :wink:
     
  6. ToxicNarcotic18

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    this is one of the coolest questions ive ever seen on here, i hope alot of people get offended.
    but anyways if jesus was real(which he wasnt) i doubt it would be anything special
     
  7. rawbone8

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    insert da Vinci code joke here...

    did you know that if all of the purported relics of the foreskin of the Christ were gathered together it could cover the dome of St Peter's Basilica?

    O
    :rolleyes:
     
  8. handcuffsfan4

    handcuffsfan4 Active Member

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    well if god gives sex a negative connotation in the bible (believing that the bible is gods word). then i dont think that he would have given jesus a huge one. he was soposed to be just like any one of us so id guess him totaly average. i mean people always connotate that dudes with huge dicks have a big sex life. i dont think that god wanted him playing the field when he was soposed to be teaching people about god and how to get to heaven.
     
  9. Fireballs

    Fireballs New Member

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    I think if there was anyone with a really big dick at The Last Supper, it was Judas. I mean, we're talking about the guy who fucked the Son of God, here!

    Damn redheads. *grin*
     
  10. mainer1

    mainer1 New Member

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    What a dastardly and irreverent thread! :smile: Even if He was average or small, being from the middle east he would've had that dark coloring that I find so attractive in people from a Mediterranean ethnic background!:naughty:

    But seriously, I hope religious people out here aren't offended by this thread and responses....if so, I, for one, apologize.
     
  11. snobbes

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    Totally agree with U toxic, U eva heard a guy from the middle east named Jesus? if the story was located to south america it wouild be easier to believe, - isen't that a common name in spain as well??:biggrin1:
     
  12. D_Count_Dickula

    D_Count_Dickula New Member

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    Pleez Lads, could you stop to wonder if somebody could get offended by this thread? Its a public forum, and still we have free speech. No need for hypocrisy.

    I dont think Jesus was huge, besides, these Mediterranean guys seem to be quite average to me.
     
  13. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    </comedy>

    It's a corruption of the name Isa'a, with even the Latin use of a 'J' to represent an 'I' kept foolishly in place. (There is also a transitional corruption taking the form Yeshua). :rolleyes: I have met plenty of guys called Isa'a in the Middle East, I might add. :smile:

    À propos of this thread and freedom of speech, I will insert a serious link:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/493436.stm

    <comedy>
     
  14. rawbone8

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    That link merits a thread of its own. Thanks for posting it alex8.
     
  15. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Well, it was 6 years ago and has never been acted on, but it still points to an extremist mood present among some before 9/11.

    Omar Bakri Muhammad, who issued the edict, was forcibly expatriated from the UK in 2005, and is now believed to head Al-Ghurabaa, one of the most vocal groups in the Danish cartoons affair:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Ghurabaa
     
  16. Pants2486

    Pants2486 New Member

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    Beautiful cock mate

    :smile:
     
  17. JustAsking

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    All,
    Devout Christian here. There is nothing offensive about this thread. In fact the image of Jesus at the urinal next to the big dicked guy is pure genius both comically and theologically. Bronxie is on the right track, you see. To suggest that Jesus was physically remarkable or a powerful person is totally missing the point.

    Please, have as much fun as you want with this. I will personally chase off any lunatic fundamentalists who think they are Jesus' personally appointed honor guard.
     
  18. JustAsking

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    Without doubt. It is genius.

    Me too. "To comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable."

    This is the what makes the Bible outrageously funny. That all the wise theologians will miss the point, and foolish people and unbelievers will actually get it.
     
  19. greek18

    greek18 New Member

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    Gentlemen:
    Let me be the first to express offense at this thread. I read all the posts which claim free speech etc.....and that those who really understand the bible will not be offended.
    I however do understand the bible and yes, I am VERY offended at this thread. Free Speech does not mean that we can make non-reverent comments about peoples religions. The very source of their worship and beliefs! Yes I will fight to death to support values such as freedom of speech, but I will in no way make derogative comments which might offend a person's religion. Aren't there so many other topics we can excercise our free speech on? Must we hit on religion?
    I have no idea if anyone else here agrees with me. I feel so strongly about this that I am contemplating erasing this website from my bookmarks and I have been a member for 3 years+.................
    Can't we keep some things at a different level? Like people's religions for example, regardless of what they might be? christian, Muslim, Jewish etc? Does living in 2006 and excercising freedom of speech actually mean that nothing is sacred any more? Nothing should be respected? All in the name of freedom of speech?
     
  20. JustAsking

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    Greek18,
    No, excercising free speech is not about offending everyone else's beliefs. You are correct about that. My point was one of Kenosis, which is a word you probably know better than others on this site. From that concept, which I think is very important, one could easily support the notion that Jesus was physically unremarkable. And also that he suffered humiliation and ultimately death without excercising wordly power follows from his Kenosis.

    From this concept, my personal opinion is that this conversation is not without merit and not irreverent. But my opinion does not give me the right to offend other thoughtful people anytime I want in any public forum.

    There have been some very interesting movies and books, such as The Last Temptation of Christ that are extremely serious and important as works of art and statements of theology, however controversial. The thing about a movie is thats we are free to watch it and think about its implications if we find it to be important. But we are also equally free to avoid watching it because we find it offensive. However, we are not free to force the movie on people, nor are we free to censor it so others cannot watch it.

    A public forum like this is less like a movie and more like a broadcast station, where people are listening without being quite sure what they will hear from moment to moment.

    The most important thing about free speech is that the government cannot censor it. That leaves it in our own hands to use it judiciously. So I support your objections and urge you to continue being a member of this site. There is so much vacuous noise on the Internet. A quality site like this needs thoughtful people like you to help maintain it as an interesting and worthwhile place to congregate.

    In summary, everything controversial is not necessarily fair game in a public forum even if it is offered in good faith.

    Please stay with us, Greek18.
     
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