Perception: very nice guy = small/average dick

[BigDuder]

im always aloof and confident when talking to women. the secret is alcohol.

 

[B_superlarge]

One more thing.
You forgot where I mentioned internal brain chemistry. Some personalities can cope better with certain situations than others. We don't like to think of ourselves like this but we are machines. Divine machines full of water and carbon. Self-automated robots of bone and tissue. The brain and its various chemical hormonal interactions color a lot of what you'll be too. It's the only internal protection. The way your brain works.

But a lot of it still comes from outside. If it didn't then why do so many of a certain group suffer from complexes of whatever sort?
Certain people if built a certain way can handle almost anything. They are designed for it. The attributes are not given equally or fairly by the Creator. Some are pre-equipped with the right tools for a situation and as they go through life these things go into action. The programming, the instinct was wired a certain way and they are just acting according to plan.
And then some are not and without the plan have no proper way of handling the situation.


You said knee-jerk. Doesn't that stand for built-in instinct? Prepackaged programming? These individuals never need help in that realm because they were programmed for it.
Michael Jackson was born to sing and dance. He never really had to LEARN anything. He just refined what he already had preprogrammed. He was born with the ability dancing in tune to a washing machine at the age of 1, an infant with a diaper on. That's what his mama said about him. His brother Marlon couldn't dance and at one time was gonna get kicked off the group by his daddy because he couldn't keep up. He learned the hard way through diligent practice how to dance and became the 2nd best dancer in the Jackson 5 right under that natural, Michael.


Most people aren't equipped with the tools from birth to deal with life's complexities. Most have to learn through education how to overcome. If not faced with positive reinforcement they can falter. The natural doesn't need this and is irrelevant to the discussion. They are just acting from their natural inborn instincts and talents.

Outside of those who have inborn ability, reinforcement is crucial to building confidence in a being. Most people have to train. Only a few can work with no cue cards, all improv.

John Lucas

A very good post. (Edit: Oops. After I had typed everything I just now noticed I quoted a different post than I meant to. I meant to quote the post in which you outlined the steps to improvement. That improvement steps post is actually the one I've responded to here).

That's great if it can be achieved. How often will that actually completely happen. How many can rise above. It sounds wonderful, but I suspect the number who do truly rise above to be few. I've only read some at measurection, so perhaps you have better insight into this than I do - how often have you read of successful mind reversal achieved? Even then it can come undone, as you also noted. One thing that has struck me as sort of odd is that penis enlargement isn't a much bigger topic at measurection than it is. I realise it comes up on occasion, but even then it's usually shot back down as the 'mind over matter' posts continue. SereneBlue brought up a very strong point about hardcore solution. Don't get me wrong, as I said, you presented a very good post, but I can't help but notice that penis enlargement is absent from it. I'm a member of a penis enlargement forum (and one should never try the exercises unless one is a member of a very good penis enlargement forum as it's dangerous without very thorough understanding). Perhaps you don't believe it's possible, as many don't. You don't strike me as someone who is easily brainwashed so I would be somewhat surprised if you have faithfully accepted mainstream's viewpoint that enlargement (aside from surgery) is impossible. Penis enlargement represents a solution for those that can't rise above the noise (or stay above the noise!). I'm not talking about surgery (which for many reasons is a last resort and we don't advocate it) and I'm not talking about those scam pills. Despite the coverage of your post, penis enlargement wasn't included just as measurection posts almost always leave it out. While mind over matter may indeed take the high road, penis enlargement is perhaps the more practical road.

 

[unzipped]

I have only been around this forum for a short while, but have read a plethora of posts relating to size issues.
First of all, Jason, you don't look that small... Like one of the previous members mentioned--you cannot do anything about your genetics. If your dick gets hard and you can enjoy the wonderful sensations of cumming and having sex.. then you are in a win win situation... some guys beat themselves over the head lamenting why why didn't I get a bigger dick... but at some point in life you just have to accept what IS -- IS...

UZ

 

[SereneBlue]

You don't understand it Serene Blue but by coming here I AM learning about ways to help the smaller guys. I have to learn the whole spectrum of experiences to REALLY understand anything.

But why post here on a site *DEDICATED TO GIANT PENISES AND THE PROBLEMS THEREOF* about the injustice of being average-hung?

HERE I HAVE learned of the TRULY significant issues that larger men face to take it back to the smaller men for comparison. To inform THEM about what guys HERE face.
But let's get real. A millionaire is not going to have as many problems as a person living check to check.

Problems are NOT equal.

Says the man who routinely posts polemics about people dismissing and poo-pooing the painful reality of others. Yet here he is doing the same to the giant-hung - the very people most in need of this site's mission of support. They are as nothing compared to the insecurities of the average-hung.

Does no one else see the irony of this?

I have to understand ALL of the issues if I am gonna REALLY solve these situations.

Excellent. Please share your solutions at Measure. The sooner the better. I say that truthfully, not sarcastically. You've invested plenty of time in it obviously. So why do you keep dodging sharing them? How much longer are you going to duck out of sharing your solutions? The average hung of Measure genuinely need them.

 

[SereneBlue]

One thing that has struck me as sort of odd is that penis enlargement isn't a much bigger topic at measurection than it is. I realise it comes up on occasion, but even then it's usually shot back down as the 'mind over matter' posts continue.

Superlarge...the reason is simple. Measure's Official Position is that penis enlargement by any means is a waste of time, money and effort. The subject is a bit taboo among the regulars over there. And that includes the Mods and Admins.

There is a small forum on Measure that includes a few discussions of PE but any members who get too 'rah-rah' about it usually end up taking their enthusiasm to Thundersplace instead. Primarily for the reasons you mentioned along with the one I mentioned (i.e. it is against Measure's Official Position on PE).

 

[B_superlarge]

Superlarge...the reason is simple. Measure's Official Position is that penis enlargement by any means is a waste of time, money and effort. The subject is a bit taboo among the regulars over there. And that includes the Mods and Admins.

There is a small forum on Measure that includes a few discussions of PE but any members who get too 'rah-rah' about it usually end up taking their enthusiasm to Thundersplace instead. Primarily for the reasons you mentioned along with the one I mentioned (i.e. it is against Measure's Official Position on PE).

Are you saying they don't believe it works, or they do believe it works but are hell bent on pushing the mind over matter because that's 'enlightment'? As far as the money part is concerned, Thundersplace is free.

It's just so odd that it's taboo at a small penis forum. Options are options.

 

[SereneBlue]

Are you saying they don't believe it works, or they do believe it works but are hell bent on pushing the mind over matter because that's 'enlightment'? As far as the money part is concerned, Thundersplace is free.

Their Official Position is that PE encourages non-acceptance of one's self rather than coming to terms with and loving yourself the way Mother Nature made you. Measure squarely come down on the side of accepting yourself exactly the way you're made. Anything else betrays non-acceptance and low self-esteem.

p.s. I agree with you. If it's ok for overweight people to lose weight (and I don't see people saying that indicates low self-esteem) why is it not ok to do PE? I think if a guy wants to do it he should - and he shouldn't have to apologize for it nor is it an indication of low self-esteem or non-self-acceptance.

 

[B_superlarge]

Their Official Position is that PE encourages non-acceptance of one's self rather than coming to terms with and loving yourself the way Mother Nature made you. Measure squarely come down on the side of accepting yourself exactly the way you're made. Anything else betrays non-acceptance and low self-esteem.

Idealistic approach in a practical world.

 

[pavement]

Their Official Position is that PE encourages non-acceptance of one's self rather than coming to terms with and loving yourself the way Mother Nature made you. Measure squarely come down on the side of accepting yourself exactly the way you're made. Anything else betrays non-acceptance and low self-esteem.

p.s. I agree with you. If it's ok for overweight people to lose weight (and I don't see people saying that indicates low self-esteem) why is it not ok to do PE? I think if a guy wants to do it he should - and he shouldn't have to apologize for it nor is it an indication of low self-esteem or non-self-acceptance.

Or what if someone is born with some debilitating or deadly disease

 

[SereneBlue]

Or what if someone is born with some debilitating or deadly disease

That is different for Measure. Surgery or whatever to correct a deformity or disease is ok and supported.

 

[2322]

Sorry Jason, but I don't agree. I have said similar things to guys who wish they had a bigger dick and did not mean "be happy, you are substandard". I do mean- "move on, there's not much you can do to change what your genetics gave you." Just do the best with what you've got. btw- yours doesn't look small, it looks perfectly normal.

How can you do your best if doing your best requires the involvement of other people? It takes two (or more:naughty to have sex, let alone a relationship. With all due respect vince, and I really do respect you, until you've been there you just don't know how debilitating it is to be small.

My measurements are 5x4; just barely within average length (in the most optimistic studies) and below average in girth by any study (which most people agree is most important). See what guys who prefer to top (like me) have to deal with and read the Do You Bottom? thread. It breaks my heart. Lot of guys won't even give you the chance.

And there are things you can do about it. PE does work. I am gaining with it. I also believe that if LPSG is hosting a subforum about making it bigger then it should offer the same sort of support that all the other subforums offer. Telling people to live with it defeats the purpose of even hosting the Making It Bigger forum.

Being nice doesn't mean a guy is small in the pants. In fact it could be just the opposite- a big one gives a guy confidence and confident people are usually nice. Unconfident people can be diffident or they can be assholes.

I agree with that. No argument here. I don't think there's a relation between being nice and being hung.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Becoming overweight in the first place [usually] indicates low self esteem/depression.
Losing weight and becoming healthy is the confident alternative.

Being angry and upset about your (perceived) small penis is low self esteem.
Accepting that and being happy with yourself is the path of confidence.

PE/pumping/silicon /= happines or confidence IMO.

PE may or may not be an indicator of low self esteem. But I wouldn't say its any great path to self acceptance or happiness. I think a lot of the time its misguided. This is my opinion.

 

[SereneBlue]

Becoming overweight in the first place [usually] indicates low self esteem/depression.
Losing weight and becoming healthy is the confident alternative.

Yes and no. For every post you point to as being low self-esteem I can point out many more who don't give a rat's @ss they're overweight. Considering the epidemic of obesity in America - we are by far THE fattest nation on the planet - the population must be one of the most depressed/low self-esteem around by the above captioned criteria.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

It probably is. People can say one thing but feel another. Overweight people probably don't want you feeling sorry for them so will put on a front. But I suspect when they are all alone; it gets to them.

The case is likely the same with people who think they have small penises. They act okay, maybe show a bit of bravado but on their own, it gets to them.

I don't know the rate of depression in the US or if any studies have been done but I expect it would be quite high. High cost of living etc, including the 2/3 of Americans being overweight.

I still think trying to solve a psychological problem like low self esteem with the physical waste of time and potentially damaging practice of PE is going about things the wrong way. Do people who do PE know when to stop? A lot of the pumpers and injectors deform their penises beyond recognition.

 

[SereneBlue]

Do people who do PE know when to stop?

You would probably get some really good answers if you posted this question at Thunders.

 

[bigboy9239]

I can't quite help thinking this is not the best explanation of people's confidence or lack thereof.

Anyone remember that movie where Erick Stoltz plays a kid with a horribly genetically disfigured face (his mother was played by Cher)? I forget the name of the movie but anyway...the kid, despite the fact he has this hugely freakin' ugly-as-hell face is supremely confident and outgoing.

[Edit: ok...just found the movie - it's Mask (1985)
Look at the tagline for the movie: They told 16-year-old Rocky Dennis he could never be like everyone else. So he was determined to be better.]

Yes, he got picked on but something about him didn't let it get to him. To the point you could see he had friends despite his 'true ugliness'. By all rights by your theory Lucas this kid should've been the lowest of the low. Yet there he was - so confident, cheerful and successful Hollywood ended up making a movie about him.

From what I've been studying on human nature there's more to it than just what you're stating.

Another example: Martin Seligman and one of his co-workers showed that DOGS have a range of reactions to experiments that were designed to see how they would respond to painful challenges.

Result: They found these dogs had a gamut of reactions. From give-up and lay down to die dogs to dogs that had a win-at-any-cost attitude and just didn't know the meaning of the word quit.

I mean...this is DOGS! I don't see anyone positing dogs as somehow having low self-esteem or high self-esteem (and that's always one of the things asserted one needs to have confidence). To even have self-esteem means that being has to be aware of itself.

There is more to these situations than just saying our confidence levels are all slaves to our circumstances and whatever crap Society may or may not throw at us.

Even for dogs...

Wow...very well put!! Look..I'm 55 years old and iu have no problem with much younger women,,,and NO they dont know I'm packing 9 inches. I had another guy tell me that it was some sort of subliminal thing...but it aint that...its just confidence!

 

[johnlucas-1]

A very good post. (Edit: Oops. After I had typed everything I just now noticed I quoted a different post than I meant to. I meant to quote the post in which you outlined the steps to improvement. That improvement steps post is actually the one I've responded to here).

That's great if it can be achieved. How often will that actually completely happen. How many can rise above. It sounds wonderful, but I suspect the number who do truly rise above to be few. I've only read some at measurection, so perhaps you have better insight into this than I do - how often have you read of successful mind reversal achieved? Even then it can come undone, as you also noted. One thing that has struck me as sort of odd is that penis enlargement isn't a much bigger topic at measurection than it is. I realise it comes up on occasion, but even then it's usually shot back down as the 'mind over matter' posts continue. SereneBlue brought up a very strong point about hardcore solution. Don't get me wrong, as I said, you presented a very good post, but I can't help but notice that penis enlargement is absent from it. I'm a member of a penis enlargement forum (and one should never try the exercises unless one is a member of a very good penis enlargement forum as it's dangerous without very thorough understanding). Perhaps you don't believe it's possible, as many don't. You don't strike me as someone who is easily brainwashed so I would be somewhat surprised if you have faithfully accepted mainstream's viewpoint that enlargement (aside from surgery) is impossible. Penis enlargement represents a solution for those that can't rise above the noise (or stay above the noise!). I'm not talking about surgery (which for many reasons is a last resort and we don't advocate it) and I'm not talking about those scam pills. Despite the coverage of your post, penis enlargement wasn't included just as measurection posts almost always leave it out. While mind over matter may indeed take the high road, penis enlargement is perhaps the more practical road.

Boy I'm busy on the board today! Wow, good conversation!
Well like I said these the baby steps right now. I devised that 5 step system listening to stories on the message board there at MR & in their chatroom. I'm constantly brainstorming trying to reinvent the wheel from scratch. A reason many things stay of a hamster wheel nature is because the right approach isn't taken. You might have to devise brand new strategems to orient your thinking in a new way. I go in assuming nothing's built and I am clear path making a new road. Pioneering. Uncharted territory to wagon train though.

ALSO in EACH one of the image issues I study I emphasize that what I'm proposing is not about changing your form. I don't want to put out the message "You're not good enough, change into something that is."
We get enough of that now which is why vanity plastic surgery is so prevalent. I actually began these studies in protest of plastic surgery. A view that I find now to be muted. I can't fight plastic surgery. Now I can only offer an alternative. I want people to find the value in their forms and beings AS IS and celebrate what these are. To constantly change into what someone else wants you to be will leave constantly at the whims of others. Mentalities must change yes but I don't want to put out that a person's physics have to be altered to gain acceptance.

And besides it's not like these guys can change what they have safely anyhow. Unlike in most instances these smaller guys cannot become bigger. It's harsh. Some would probably go that route but they really don't have the option to right now. So saying enlargement is just a painful thing to say. And who says they SHOULD change? All of this penis enlargement stuff in anecdotal and nobody seems to have come to a consensus on any step by step methods. Everybody has their opinion on what works and doesn't. Where confusion reigns, truth abstains. If this is made clear to be real and can gain substantial growth it will be one extra option some guys can take. When something has a concrete answer, a concrete methodology follows. Right now it's like religion. Everybody has their own take on it and not all the views coincide. I believe I believe!! Gotta keep it concrete, kid. Faith without results will chafe.

That option will always lurk over anyone with an issue. Change to fit the accepted standards. I want to create an alternative option which trumpets and promote the being as is to become accepted as is. Not a greater feeling in the world than to be loved and desired for EXACTLY who you are. Fat women are now showing their tummies and rolls not in shame but in glory because somebody likes those tummies and rolls.
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Amazons stand tall and proud shouting to the rooftops their strength & height because someone likes that strength & height.
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So while changing can produce benefits, how can people get rewards by being themselves?

I'm still learning and devising new methods of working with the issues. But in penis realm stuff like:
•Undoing mention of the word "average" as a descriptive of size replacing it with the more correct term "medium".
•Proposing the devising of a new measuring scale using new Penile Units and Vaginal Units rather than the inefficient inch/centimeter scale—this scale used to determine degree of sensational difference in penetration that inches and centimeters are poorly devised to do (nobody remembers 1/2's 1/4's and 3/5's).
•Taking this scale to devise an OBJECTIVE rather than subjective DEFINITIVE measure of size where this number is ALWAYS large and this number is ALWAYS small and this number is ALWAYS medium to avoid POV confusion and bias helping to give better information on how each size should approach the sex act.
•Understanding, redefining and displaying the distinction between Love and Lust showing that LUST is fuel for overcoming a complex. Those desired feel less anxious about themselves. I have been verified on that point in particular by members of MR. To be wanted not just accepted. To be celebrated not just taken along passively or as if settled for.
•To note the varied types of human-to-human relationships and the strength and duration of each with all the details. Parent-Child (strongest), Family/Friend/Enemy (next strongest), Lovers [which should be more appropriately called Lusters] (weakest). Understanding that in a "Lovers" relationship the only way to maintain decent duration is to have an overlapping Companion relationship along with it, "Companion" being another word for "Friend".
•The 3 Billion Rule (more like 3.25 Billion now) which details mating chances for a person who thinks rejection is the end of the world. In a world of 6 Billion (6.5 Billion now) approximately half are women and half are men. For any heterosexual or homosexual this ensures 3 Billion+ chances to find a mate. For Bisexuals this is the 6 Billion Rule. No need for histrionics with so many choices available.

Those are just a few brainstorm sessions I came up with purely reading from the stories here and in many forums on different subjects pertaining to issues like these.
When the conversation keeps going A to B, A to B, I try to offset the hamster wheel by bringing in the C. A brand new point of view that no one quite has put together publicly. A new viewpoint that may help break the rut and pattern allowing a person to orient their thinking in a whole new way which as what knowledge tends to do brings confidence.

SereneBlue seems to be bothered by my wordiness and point of view. Well, I just got a lot to put down. Even as I write I am working out and brainstorming solutions smoothing out the rough edges in my theories and strategies. Like in school I'm just showing my work. Sorry for the windiness but some things can't be put down in bite size increments.

My root motivation for all of this is that I want people in this world to be able to better achieve happiness. With a world so much in strife and stress, when one is accepted, celebrated, and enjoyed that person has less want to destroy, to hurt, to lash out at the world. Idealistic, perhaps. But I sincerely believe that EVERYONE should have a place at the table. What the hell is the world for if some people are simply born to lose? Why contribute to a system that won't benefit you?

That line "Life Isn't Fair" simply doesn't wash with me. All of us are beneficiaries of people before us who challenged that maxim.

John Lucas

 

[2322]

I don't think the regulars at LPSG do that. Or at least I've not seen any of that going on with them. They've all been quite civil - gay or straight.

Oh I've caught a few and called them on it. I forgive them because sometimes it's difficult to empathize. They've never been in the same boat so how should they know?

You can have all the self-esteem in the world but when people, find out how little you've got downstairs, they tend to leave, make an excuse, or won't hook-up with you again. That's not always the case, but it is more common than not and it hurts because, objectively, I can sympathize with their point of view. Far more people want average or larger than want smaller. Quite simple as that. And all the good looks, money, personality, and intelligence can't compensate for it. That does take a toll on the self-esteem.

I skim most of your posts because I know the majority of it adds nothing to the discussion.

I guess it's honest though I took it as scathing.

 

[johnlucas-1]

Wow...very well put!! Look..I'm 55 years old and iu have no problem with much younger women,,,and NO they dont know I'm packing 9 inches. I had another guy tell me that it was some sort of subliminal thing...but it aint that...its just confidence!

It's not about what they know. It's about what YOU know. Your confidence comes from positive past experiences and also knowledge that you have assets that attract not just talking about large penis size.

The fact that you're 55 and still pull younger women only builds more confidence. Ask another 55 year old to try that and see what he says to you. Ask one who wears kneehigh black socks and mows the lawn on his riding lawnmower every Saturday if he think he can pull younger women.
I guarantee you his confidence in the scenario won't be as great as yours.

Confidence is the end of a process not an object to grasp. It's the natural end result of successful endeavors.
John Lucas

 

[2322]

Their Official Position is that PE encourages non-acceptance of one's self rather than coming to terms with and loving yourself the way Mother Nature made you. Measure squarely come down on the side of accepting yourself exactly the way you're made. Anything else betrays non-acceptance and low self-esteem.

This is precisely why I left Measurection. Much of the support offered was simply commiseration. After 25 years or so of realizing I am truly below average and that I will continue to be physically incompatible with such a vast number of people, I decamped to Thunder's and here. Ironically, LPSG has been the single most helpful source of support to me.